She's been standing out here for ages. Hands sweaty, heart thumping, telling herself not to lace her fingers together, not to fidget, working up the courage just to knock on the door.
She'd made her final decision this morning. Observing her mother throughout the day, making sure she was in a good mood and it stayed persistent. Had, at any point through the day, dropped at all, Regina would throw this idea in the bin, leave it for another day. Luckily though, Mother had been in a good mood, nothing had started her off; Regina hadn't be late to anything, Snow hadn't whined at all, even the house elves did their job quickly and properly, so Mother's mood had remained high.
Though standing here now, Regina wonders if it would have been best to go to her father first, maybe get him to talk to Mother- No! Mother would appreciate it more if Regina was the one who spoke to her personally.
So, wiping her hands against her robes in an effort to make her hands feel less clammy, she reaches up to knock on the door, heart thumping as she swallows to keep the bile down.
A few seconds later she hears the Come in and Regina's pushing the door open.
Cora's sitting down at the desk, parchment sprawled out everywhere, quill in her hand. Mother hadn't looked up at her get, eyes spanning the words written as Regina stands there by the door, waiting.
She can't remember the exact time Mother took this job off Father. Just remembers her telling him that he was useless at this sort of thing, that she should take over. Henry hadn't said anything against it, just stood up from his desk as Regina pretending to play with dolls in the corner, and handed the seat over to Cora. Mother told him to leave, and to take Regina with him; A study isn't a place for a silly, clueless, little girl.
"What is it, Regina?" Mother asks, the silence finally being broken.
She fumbles for her words, steps towards the desk, hands coming to rest against the chair. Taking a deep breath, keep the stutter out of her voice, she asks; "I was wondering if I could ask you something?"
The quill is still moving, Cora still hasn't looked up at her. "Go on." she says, still scribbling.
There's a second where Regina thinks she should change what she's going to ask. This could end badly and even though she's spent the day practicing the words she's about to say, even though she knows there's nothing in there that isn't designed to make Cora say no immediately, there's still some part of her that thinks this could go wrong. A big part of her.
But she wants this. Even if it wasn't for the freedom school gave her, she still loves Hogwarts. Remembers the joy she felt the moment she turned eleven and that letter flew through the door.
When she was a child, she'd beg Zelena to tell her stories about the castle. Regale her with everything that had happened in the year. And when Regina herself went to Hogwarts, she received the same from Snow until the latter could experience it herself.
After that first year, when she realised what it was like to not be under constant supervision, to skip meals if she wanted to, she'd wanted to go back every year since.
However, she knew it wasn't to last. By the time her third year rolled around, she'd heard whispers that girls never went back to Hogwarts after their fifth year and she'd started to panic. At first, she kidded herself, telling herself that it wasn't true but it was a bubble soon to be burst when her fourth year rolled around and Zelena wasn't accompanying them all the way to Hogwarts.
Regina knew then, that the chances of her being allowed to stay past fifth year were pretty slim and she began counting down the days until she, too, was saying goodbye to Hogwarts forever.
That was until she'd overheard Mallory Gold telling everyone how her father was practically forcing her to stay another two years and Regina's brain had began to tick. Of course, she hadn't made her final decision until right now. So, taking a deep breath, hands clenching around the chair, does she finally ask.
"Could I stay at Hogwarts?"
She regrets it instantly. Mother's hand stops moving, stilling as she processes what Regina's just asked and if there was a ever a place Regina wanted to be right now, this wasn't it. She wishes she could erased the last minute, change her mind, ask another question anything but this.
Mother finally puts her quill down, slowly sitting up to her full height in the chair she stares Regina down as Regina looks anywhere that isn't in the direction of her mother, eyes wandering until they finally settle on her hands, ignoring the urge to fidget and pick.
"Why would you want to do that?" Mother finally asks and Regina can feel her eyes on her.
Slowly she moves her own, getting up enough courage from somewhere to look her mother in the eyes. Eye contact was important, she'd been taught, don't let your eyes wander around, you look disinterested, uncaring, and even though you were feeling those things, don't let them show.
"Well, I know it's normal for girls to leave after their fifth year, like Zelena did, but it's starting to become more common for them to stay. For them to complete all their years." Regina had planned this part, tried to think of every answer to the questions Mother could ask. "Also, Mallory Gold is staying and she doesn't really want to." she adds and this could be the turning point, Regina thought, this could be the thing that makes Cora say yes.
"Gold's daughter is staying?" Cora asks, curiosity clearly heard in her voice. Regina nods. "I wonder what made him make that decision."
Regina shrugs. "Gold always liked to keep up with the changes."
Cora shakes her head, however. "No," she says, leaning forward. "His new little wifey of his must have suggested it." The bitter is clear in voice.
Rupert Gold remarried a few years ago, to a sweet little thing who was only a few years older than Zelena, and had only graduated from Hogwarts two years prior. Belle French had been the only girl to complete her Hogwarts years, the professors requesting so because of how intelligent she was and that taking her out after fifth year could possibly bring that intelligence down. Her father was easily swayed, telling Belle she could stay. It only made sense that the girl would suggest this for her own step-daughter.
"I'll think about it, Regina." Mother says and Regina can hardly believe it. It might not be a 'yes' but it's certainly as close to one. "But you must do something for me." Regina listens, she doesn't particularly want to, but she does. "You must accompany me to the Golds tomorrow. I want to know more on why Gold agreed to keep his daughter in Hogwarts." She picks up her quill then, signaling the end to their conversation and Regina nods, it could have been worse after all. She and Mal might not be the best of friends but they are civil with each other, there's a respect between them.
Regina nods, leaves a quick thank you before she heading out of the study. Shutting the door behind her, she leans against it, hardly believing any of it. There's a possibility she could be going home.
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