2. Admiral Crazy

Revan removed a datapad from his belt and thumbed on the voice recorder. "Note to self: have HK terminate that floating target drone."

"What are you planning?" Ilona asked as the entered the cockpit. Mical turned to stare dreamily at her as she passed.

"That guy is really beginning to irritate me," Ilona fumed. "I get that he has a thing for me. Not to blow smoke up anyone's ass but I am kinda hot, right?"
"Oh yeah..." Atton answered then flinched as Ilona slapped the back of his head, "Ow!"

"Where was I? Oh yeah. So I'm kinda hot right? So I just wish he'd quit jerking around and just make a move on me. He'd try it on, I'd deck him, he'd laugh it off and the whole 'sexual tension' thing would just go away. But no, he has to stare at me where ever I go."

"Well you are kinda intimidating," Atton pointed out, somewhat appalled that he was taking Mical's side on this.

Revan pulled his datapad again and whispered into it, "Make what's his name disappear."

Inside the cockpit, the swirling blue swirliness that was hyperspace broke up into a dazzling array of stars as the Ebon Hawk exited hyperspace over Telos. A rather large Republic fleet, still on station after the recent Sith battle over the planet filled the sky.

Revan turned and glared at the crew of the Hawk who had assembled behind him in the cockpit. "Alright, which one you nerf-herders alerted the fleet?"
"Chill out," Ilona smirked, "They've been here a while."
"Oh."

"Wow, quite a lightshow," commented Mira as she pointed out the running lights of the various ships.

Visas spoke up then, "Through the Force one can see the spreading glow of life upon the surface of Telos, past the ships. It is a...beautiful thing to see." Revan glanced back at the Miraluka woman and thought, not for the first time, what a hottie. That whole veil thing and the way she moved with such grace. And she didn't seem to have many qualms about the use of lethal force when required, either.

A crackle of static came from the comm system and a familiar voice began speaking.
"This is Admiral Carth Onasi of the Republic cruiser Sojourn. Ebon Hawk, you are ordered to dock with us and report for immediate debriefing."

Revan cursed, "Onasi? Ah crap. I'm back in Republic space not five minutes and already I have that guy riding my ass." He looked around to see everybody staring at him open mouthed. "Not riding my ass as in riding my ass! Come on! I like girls!" The crew stared at him even more and Mical laid a hand on his lightsaber and moved to place himself protectively in front of Mira. She was really too young to be hearing this.

Mira slammed an elbow into his stomach. Mical fell over backwards.

Revan wondered how things on the ship had gotten so weird so quickly. "By 'girls' I mean women of legal age who are consenting. OK? Can we get on with things now?"

"I dunno, Revan," Mira smiled salaciously, "I think we could all hear about how the great Lord Revan got his ass ridden by Admiral Onasi..." Mical groaned and climbed to his feet. "What was that about Admiral Onasi's ass?"

Nobody answered him.

Bao-Dur spoke up from the rear of the group. "I think somebody should answer the comm; the Admiral sounds a little upset."

"THIS IS ADMIRAL ONASI OF THE FREAKING CRUISER SOJOURN! SOMEBODY HAD BETTER ANSWER MY HAIL OR BY THE FORCE I'LL BLOW THAT FLOATING JUNKPILE OUT OF THE SKY!"

Revan, glad that the focus was no longer on him, said, "Now do you believe that the great Admiral is just a bit nuts?"

Atton opened a commline to the Sojourn and replied in the most placating voice he could muster, the voice he used when talking down a group of debt collectors who were intent on breaking his kneecaps. "This is the Ebon Hawk, Admiral. We apologise for the delay in responding to you. We had a...situation that needed to be fixed."

"That's...that's quite all right. I'm just a little stressed at the moment. Seeing another Sith fleet over Telos just brought back memories," Carth replied, then apparently addressing somebody on the Sojourn he screamed, "And where are my frigging tea and biscuits? I ordered afternoon tea a bloody hour ago!"

The Ebon Hawk's crew shuffled around the cockpit nervously. They really did not want to be in a confined space with a man who had obvious anger issues. "Uh, I'm gonna go...polish my guns," Mira said and hustled off. "Yes, I have work to do in the medlab," Mical said and also departed.
Mandalore, who had been silent the entire trip, spoke up, "You Republic people are all the same. That man is more in touch with his true self than anybody I've served with in a long time. It'll be good to see him again."
Atton turned around in his chair and asked, "How do you know Onasi?"
"Oh, before he was Mandalore, he was a merc who was part of my little group way back when," Revan said, airily waving a hand.

"Well, anyway, Admiral Crazy is beaming us docking clearance. I'm taking her in," Atton worked the controls and soon the docking bay of the Sojourn gaped before them like the jaws of a rancor. Nice bit of imagery, that Revan told himself. "I'm going back to my force cage. Ilona I want you to handle Onasi. Take Bao-Dur so he can explain the whole 'mass-shadow' whatsit thingie."

"And while I'm getting my head chewed off you'll be doing what?" Ilona demanded.

"Planning a series of business acquistions."