It was three days before Rin was able to get a flight to Japan. Seventy-two hours of fear, and dread, and trying to get ahold of someone, anyone, who might know what happened to his baby sister, or his friends. None of his calls went through. Many flights were canceled on account of the natural disaster. The one Rin finally managed to catch landed on the opposite end of the island Iwatobi was on. Rin had to catch a train to get closer, but the trains going straight to Iwatobi had all been diverted too. He ended up at one of the relief camps, a half hour's drive from his childhood home, and found the roads into the town were blocked too, with only government approved vehicles being allowed past.
He still hadn't heard from his sister, or any of his old friends.
Not knowing what had happened to them or if they were dead or alive was tearing him apart inside. He felt cold in a way he'd never felt before, and every time his cell phone rang he broke out into sweat. Having gone this long with no word was making him fear the worst.
At the relief camp, he tried checking the roster of survivors. What he found was not encouraging. His sister, his friends, none of them were on the lists.
"It doesn't mean they're not alright," the volunteer with the lists told him. "These aren't complete by any means, and there are two other camps. We don't have their lists yet. Everything is so chaotic right now. It's taking time to put it all together."
Rin stormed away without a word before he punched her. He knew his anger was irrational. The lady hadn't done anything wrong. But he was so furious right now, at everyone and everything. Himself most of all.
I should have been here. I should have answered my phone. I should have been a better brother. I should have been a better friend.
I deserve this.
But they didn't. It's not fair.
There was a wall fence set up, covered in cardboard, where people were pinning messages and notes. Rin continued his search there, after wiping away the tears that were blurring his vision. He wasn't actually crying. Rin guessed that was just more proof that he was a rotten person. The tears just stood in his eyes, making them glassy, but didn't really fall.
Nothing on the wall suggested to him that his friends or sister had been there, or that they were alive at all. Rin was about to ask someone how to get to one of the other relief camps when a familiar voice reached his ears.
"Please. Just let me die."
Nagisa!
"Nagisa!" shouted Rin and ran in the direction the voice had come from. "Nagisa!"
He stumbled when he saw his small friend, on a stretcher being carried by two rescue workers, away from an ambulance that had just arrived.
"Please stop. Please." Nagisa's voice was so full of pain that a lump grew in Rin's throat. Nagisa wasn't supposed to sound like that. Nagisa was airy and light. He wasn't supposed to look like that, so weak and pale.
"Nagisa! Nagisa!" Rin was frantic now, tearing past people to reach his friends. Another of the rescue workers caught him before he reached Nagisa. "Nagisa! That's my friend! Let go, or I swear, I'll –"
"Calm down, sir. Your friend is badly hurt."
"I can see that! Let go of me!" Rin screamed.
"Not until I know you won't charge into him and hurt him worse!"
His words reached Rin, who forced himself to calm down. "You're right. I'm sorry. But please."
The man loosened his hold on Rin, but kept a grip on his arm. "Your friend's in a bad way. We found him crushed in the wreckage of his house. Both his hips are broken, his pelvis is crushed, and most of his ribs are cracked. He's dehydrated and in more pain than you can imagine."
"What can I do?" asked Rin. "How can I help him?"
"His injuries are worse than we can treat here. In the morning, he'll be transferred to a hospital in Tokyo. It might do him good if you could sit with him tonight," the man said. "He seems to be under the impression that all of his friends are dead."
It took them twenty minutes to settle Nagisa into a partitioned off section of space in the makeshift hospital. 1200 seconds that Rin stood by feeling guilty and soulless while Nagisa was fitted with a new IV and a morphine drip. Finally, they let Rin through to see him. He went to the smaller boy's side immediately, and dropped down beside the sterile white futon they'd laid him on.
"Nagisa?"
Nagisa's eyes looked dead, but when he heard Rin's voice, something sparked in them. "Rin . . . chan?" he asked in disbelief.
"Yeah. It's me." A stupid thing to say, Rin knew. He couldn't help it. He'd never felt so stupid and helpless. "Are you . . ."
He didn't even know how to end that question. What had he been thinking, asking if Nagisa was okay? He clearly was not!
"Rin-chan," Nagisa said again, and gave a dry sob.
"Shhh. Don't cry," Rin said, his voice breaking.
"I . . . can't . . . help . . . it. My friends . . . they're all dead, Rin-chan. My team."
"How do you know that?" asked Rin, taking Nagisa's hand in his own, more roughly than he should have. "How could you possibly know that?"
Nagisa's eyes looked dead again. "Because no one came for me."
"Nagisa . . ."
"If they were alive, they would have come to find me," said Nagisa, his voice breaking on almost every word. "But no one came. I waited for days. If they were alive, they would never have left me there."
"Quiet, you," said Rin. "You don't know anything after all. Did you ever think that maybe something kept them from getting to you?"
"No."
"I'm sure that's what it was," Rin tried to persuade him. "They might have been trapped somewhere too. Or in one of the other camps, but can't move because of injuries. Or something. And Makoto's got his siblings to look after. They're not letting people into Iwatobi, so once he got those kids out, he couldn't have gotten back in. And Haru . . . I know he found Gou after the quake. He must have gotten her out and couldn't get back in either."
"No," said Nagisa, his voice dead. "Even if they got out, they would have come back for me."
"They couldn't have. They're not letting people back in, Nagisa."
"We're the Iwatobi trespassing club. Or at least we were. Do you think that would have stopped them?" demanded Nagisa.
"Nagisa –"
"They wouldn't have abandoned a friend! They're not you!"
That stung so much Rin physically recoiled. He dropped Nagisa's hand like it was a hot coal.
"I'm sorry," said Nagisa instantly. "I'm sorry, Rin-chan. I didn't mean it. Please, don't go. Please –"
"I won't go," said Rin. "I'll stay with you tonight."
"And tomorrow?"
"I'm going to find my sister. And the others. Haru and Makoto."
"Keep an eye out for Rei-chan for me?" asked Nagisa.
"Who?" Rin asked, before realizing who Nagisa had to be talking about. The replacement.
"Our newest teammate. Our butterfly," Nagisa said.
"I'll keep an eye out for him too," Rin promised.
"You won't find them in the other camps."
"I might."
"You won't."
"I have to at least check there, Nagisa," said Rin.
Nagisa just looked at him. There was so much sorrow and heartbreak in that gaze that Rin felt something die inside him too.
"I can't give up on them, Nagisa. I can't accept that they're dead until . . . I just can't accept that."
"I want to believe you're right, Rin-chan," said Nagisa. His breath hitched and he gave another dry sob. "But I'm not strong enough anymore."
"Hush. You're stronger than you know." You always have been.
"I'm not. There's nothing left of me without my friends," cried Nagisa. "I don't want to live without them. I don't want to be alone."
Rin squeezed his hand, then knelt so that his face was closer to Nagisa's. "You won't be alone. Whatever I find, I swear to you, you won't be alone."
"But without Haru-chan, and Mako-chan, and Rei-chan, and Gou-chan –"
"You've still got me," said Rin.
Nagisa looked at him with a question in his eyes.
"I'm back. For good this time," Rin told him.
Nagisa smiled. His first smile since Rin found him. There was nothing happy about it. He looked like any second, he might burst into tears. But Rin thought that Nagisa was at least a little bit pleased.
"You should try to sleep," said Rin. He laid a (hopefully) soothing hand on Nagisa's forehead, then ran it through the younger teen's sweat-stiff and grimy hair. "You need your rest."
"Rin-chan should rest too," said Nagisa. "You need your strength for your search. You can share my bed."
"No. I don't want to move in my sleep and accidentally hurt you. I'll sleep off to the side, here. It'll be fine."
Nagisa's eyelids fluttered, then he gave up the fight to stay conscious and closed them. "I hope you find them, Rin-chan."
"Me too, Nagisa." He laid down beside his friend, but on the cool concrete floor, using his backpack as a pillow. The whole time he kept hold of Nagisa's hand.
"I'm glad you're back, Rin-chan," muttered Nagisa right before he drifted off. "We all missed you."
thank you to Salty Pretzels, Akiko Natsuko, Chinkonka, CAMEO1 and Only, and Nerdinaction for reviewing! i hope you like this chapter too! i hope rin's not too occ. but we've seen he's actualy pretty gentle with nitori, so if nagisa was that hurt i don't think he would be his usual callous self, do you? it's a little funny (but cute!) how he's so nice to his roommate.
