Hey everyone! So I know I said that Scared Straight was definitively a one shot, but after rereading it and rereading it and thinking and thinking, I finally decided that I was going to write another chapter. I found that the last chapter was, as I think a lot of you felt, a little bit inconclusive. With the addition of this chapter, it feels like it has more of a definitive ending. I really, really hope you guys enjoy!

Richie sighed, picking a rock up off the bank and skipping it halfheartedly on the surface of the water. He had held it together well enough for a couple hours, a day even, but now he was crying those silent tears you cry when you're too overwhelmingly sad to sob. They streamed down his face, unstoppable, somehow sadder in their hopeless, pathetic nature. They were almost fitting. They almost matched the immense moment after Richie's entire world ended, the moment that left Richie stranded completely alone in the most unbearable kind of silence.

He skipped another rock, it didn't even go as far as the first one.

Richie couldn't even blink without seeing it, without seeing his bloodstained blonde hair, his cracked round glasses lying on the stone floor, never to be used again, without seeing the moment that his hand gave a final twitch before giving out, without seeing him. Twenty-seven years ago when he saw Pennywise for the first time, when he made that promise to himself, he never thought it would end like this. That's a lie, he did expect it to end like this, he expected it to be a secret he took to the grave. He just expected it to be his grave, not anyone else's, especially not the love of his life's.

Especially not Eddie Kaspbrak's.

That was the cruelest thing that could've possible happened to him, the cruelest thing that could've possible happened to the world. Eddie Kaspbrak was stolen, taken before his time, taken before he even got to live his life. He would've traded places with Eddie in an instant. He deserved to die. He deserved to die because of well… everything. The drinking, the smoking, the drugs, the abuse of fame, the years upon years of believing that there was no good in the world and that if God existed, he'd had a one-way ticket to hell the day he popped out of the womb so might as well use it to his advantage. But Eddie, Eddie was different, Eddie was better, Eddie deserved better. If Richie could he would march to wherever the hell spirits go right now and tell them that they better give Eddie Kaspbrak the fuck back or else. Richie Tozier couldn't understand what kind of world he was living in where the best were killed and the worst were left to deal with the aftermath.

And then, after the torrent of thoughts, there came the predictable, stifling silence, the goddam silence. It was like he couldn't escape from it, any of it.

Richie's mind wandered, and he couldn't help but think about what could've happened if he had decided, twenty-seven years ago, to make the other decision. If he had decided, twenty-seven years ago, to sit in that circle in the park on the Fourth of July and tell all of them that he had indeed seen Pennywise, tell all of them what Pennywise had threatened, tell all of them that he was gay. He almost laughed, after years and years of suffering and self-hatred and struggle it came out that easily. It was just a word, an insignificant, three letter word. It meant nothing. Who gave a fuck if he was gay? Who could give a fuck about anything other than the fact that Eddie was dead?

"Richie?" came a soft voice from behind him. He turned around to see Beverly, leaning against one of trees. He didn't know how long she'd been there, but by the concerned look on her face, he could guess that it had probably been a while. "Mind if I sit?"

Richie turned away, staring into the water in a halfhearted attempt to hide his tears and patting the spot on the bank next to him, "only for you sweetheart."

She eased herself down next to him, looking intently at Richie, who was still unable to stop the tears. She put an arm around him and he collapsed into it, resting his head on her shoulder and burying his face in the fabric of her blouse. She rubbed his arm reassuringly, placing her free hand on his, "I know, Richie, I know." She sighed, "we all miss him." Richie said nothing, so Beverly kept talking in an attempt to fill the deafening silence. "I don't even know how you can stand to be here anymore, looking at that sewer. It still scares me in a way."

"I don't think the barrens are all bad," Richie said matter-o-factly, "we met Ben here, after all." Richie sighed, sitting up, "and besides, it's not like it's dangerous anymore."

"That's all thanks to him, Richie."

"Yeah, yeah, it's thanks to him. It's aaaaaallll thanks to him." He turned to face Beverly, "but you know what, I would trade the lives of every single person he saved just to get him back on earth for one minute, so that I, after twenty-seven years, could give him a hug without being afraid." Richie cries were starting to turn to sobs, "what did he even really die for, Bev? He died to save a couple kids, but most of the kids he saved are probably stoners or drunks or Henry Bowers the second." Richie was reaching the peak of his hysteria, "and now, now we can't even say his name. We have to tiptoe on eggshells and refer to him as 'he' to avoid bringing up too many traumatic memories, especially around Richie, poor, poor Richie." Richie took a deep breath, "why the hell can't we say his name! He deserved so much better than this!" Richie took a deep breath, calming down and letting out a soft, sick cackle, "but you know what the most painful thing about all of this is… it's that no matter how much I want to remember him, a couple of months from now all Eddie Kaspbrak is going to be to me is a name and a statistic in the newspaper." He licked his lips and nodded softly, his anger starting to ebb back in, "I'm going to forget him, and the only person to remember him is going to be his wife! His fucking wife! The woman that's Sonia Kaspbrak reincarnated."

Richie dissolved into sobs. Beverly let him cry, rubbing his back reassuringly. When Richie's sobs started to trickle away and turn back into tears, Beverly spoke, "you loved Eddie, didn't you?"

"I suppose it doesn't really matter if you know now," Richie laughed a little, delirious, "I'm gay, Beverly, I'm gay and I hid it for twenty-seven years because I thought all of you would hate me and I…"

"Richie," Beverly said, stopping him before he spiraled out of control, "I knew."

"You knew?" Richie asked, so shocked he was unable to really emote.

"Most of us did, Richie." Richie collapsed back onto Beverly's shoulder, "we figured you'd tell us when you were ready, if you ever were."

Richie looked out into the water for a moment, his eyes glazed, his mind numb. "Did… did Eddie love me back?" He suddenly asked, his voice breaking.

Beverly sighed, "I honestly don't know, Richie. I think that Eddie loved you as much as Eddie could love anyone with his life being the way it was. I've always believed that." She paused, picking her words carefully, "you probably know this better than anyone, you were his closest confidant, but Eddie had it hard, harder than I think we give him credit for." She looked down at her hands, "Eddie used to talk to me about you, tell me how much he actually loved your voices, your nicknames, said they made him feel special."

Richie laughed sadly, "too bad I'm not even going to remember that."

"Richie," Beverly said, holding him at arm's length so she could look him in the eye, "you're not going to forget Eddie. You never forget the first person that you love. I truly believe that I never really forgot Bill." She shrugged, "sure, I forgot the details, the things he said to me, the way he acted, the way he looked, but I never forgot what it felt like to love him. I carried that feeling, that love with me, I still do." She looked up at the sky, "but you know the beautiful thing about life, Richie? There's no such as a one true love." She focused back on him, "you'll find someone else, the same way that I found Ben. They won't be Eddie, you're never going to find someone enough like Eddie to satisfy the hole that he left in your heart, and if you try to, it will destroy you." She laughed a little, "God knows it almost destroyed me. But this person, whoever they may be, will be just as good and you'll love them just as much."

There was a rustling noise from behind them. Richie and Beverly whirled around, both in a sort of reflexive panic. It was Mike, still limping a little, arm slung around Ben for support, "mind if we join?" Beverly shook her head, gesturing to the empty space next to her as an invitation. Ben eased Mike down next to Richie before sitting in between Richie and Bev. Ben smiled lovingly, giving Bev a quick peck on the cheek. Richie watched this with a sort of glazed over expression. He wasn't angry at them even though they were the model of everything he couldn't have with Eddie, he wasn't even jealous. He was more saddened, resigned.

Ben spoke, "remember the day I met you all?" He laughed sadly, "I was so happy to have friends that it was like I didn't even care that there was a killer, shapeshifting clown who manifested our worst nightmares after us or that Henry Bowers had just tried to carve his name into my skin."

"Me too," Mike said, his voice quiet but sincere, "you all taught me, in spite of everything, what friendship was supposed to be like. I had nothing to be afraid of. None of you gave two shits about size, gender, religion, race, or anything else."

"Still feel that way?" Richie asked gruffly.

Mike turned to face him, for the first time noticing the tear stains on his cheeks. "Yep," He nudged Richie playfully, egging him into a smile, "always have, always will, Trashmouth."

"All of you?" Richie asked. He turned to Ben, who nodded gravely, forever grateful for the companionship the other six had given him. He turned to Beverly, who gave a casual, almost imperceptive nod, as if it wasn't even a question.

Richie took a deep breath, looking out into the water, "I'm gay," he said, quickly so he wouldn't hesitate and stop himself. "I'm gay and I never told you because…" Before he could finish his sentence, he found himself completely enveloped in a hug from Ben. It was a nice hug, one of those hugs that swallows you whole so you can hide in it, and Richie collapsed into it. Mike and Beverly were soon to join, forming a protective cocoon around him, blocking him from the horrible silence.

"Because you loved Eddie?" Mike finally asked, finishing Richie's sentence.

"And you're all okay with this?" Richie asked, his voice a reflection of some of the almost sick irony of the situation. Something he'd been so afraid of was nothing to them, was no different than if he had come to them and proclaimed his long lasting love for a woman.

"Of course we are Richie," Mike said, "we want you to be happy. That's all we've ever wanted, you deserve that." Ben, moved almost to tears, could do nothing but nod.

"So did Stan and Eddie," Richie said, his voice almost a whisper.

"Stan I can't speak for," Ben said finally, choking back his tears and looking up, as if searching the sky for answers. "Stan always had a harder time absorbing everything than the rest of us did, so I think for twenty-seven years Stan lived the happiest life that he could. But Eddie, Eddie I think I can speak. Eddie died a hero, Eddie died making a choice to save the people he cared about, Eddie died with you by his side." Ben sighed, "you have to remember Richie, as sad as it is, as much as it sucks, Eddie didn't have much of a happy life to go back to…"

Richie cut him off, "but I could have made that happy life for him. I still want to make that happy life for him. I want to hold his hand and take him to Disneyland for our anniversary and buy him a nice car, any car he wants, and a state of the art garage for it to. I want him to stop being so damn worried all the time about his inhaler and his medication and his blood pressure." Richie slowed down, gazing off into the distance, "I want to see him smile."

"I know," Ben said, "I know Richie, I know. But he's gone, Eddie is gone, and you can't go blaming yourself for not giving him a life that people, for whatever fucked up reason, wouldn't have ever let the two of you live." Ben sighed, hugging Richie tighter, "It doesn't mean you have to stop loving him, it just means that you have to let him go."

There was a crunching sound behind them, and the losers turned around to see Bill, standing on a patch of grass just before the bank. "R…r…r," he swallowed hard before starting the sentence again, "Richie? Are you alright?"

The losers slowly got to their feet, nobody saying anything. Finally, the crowd parted, leaving Richie a direct pathway to Bill. Richie took a step towards him, smiling slightly, remembering in that moment the years of friendship and trust they'd shared, the times Bill had saved his life, and the immeasurable importance he placed on their relationship, even after all these years. He tried to sum it all up, to find something to say that would convey all that, but the best he could come up with was, "hey Big Bill."

"Hey Trashmouth," Bill said, smiling tentatively back. Richie saw that in that smile, Bill understood everything that Richie had wanted to say but couldn't. Bill had a strange way of doing that.

"I have something important to tell you," Richie said, "something I should have told you a while ago."

"Shoot."

Richie hesitated for a moment, almost stuttering over his words. He looked down, finally managing to force the words out, "I'm gay, Bill."

There was a moment of silence where Richie's heart stopped entirely. Finally, Bill spoke, his voice calm but commanding, "Richie Tozier, look at me." Richie looked up slowly, Bill cleared his throat, "ever since I lost Georgie, you've been like my younger brother." He paused for a moment to let that sink in, "I care about you, I want to protect you, and this is why I have to tell it to you straight like this." Richie's face fell and he hunched over, Bill cleared his throat, "You're an even bigger idiot than I thought if you really ever believed that I would abandon you because of who you love." Richie released his breath in one massive rush of relief as Bill embraced him, "you should've told me, you should've fucking told me, you should've at least told me sooner than the day we all have to leave." Bill and Richie pulled away from each other, Bill wiping a tear away, sniffling a little, "I love you Trashmouth."

"I love you too, Big Bill."

"You drama queens know we don't have to leave, right?" Bev piped up from the back. They all turned to look at her, "we could stay another night, go back to that crappy Chinese restaurant. Ben and I aren't in a rush." Ben nodded hastily in agreement.

Mike shrugged good naturedly, "I've been living here my whole damn life, what's one more night?"

"Audra loves it here, especially now that I'm finally telling her about my childhood." Bill turned to Richie, prompting the rest of the losers to turn to him as well. They all eagerly awaited his answer, knowing, as they had always known, that the Loser's Club wasn't complete without him. Richie was so overwhelmed all he could do was nod, but the Losers understood that he loved them and that he was grateful. Bill pulled them all in for a hug, a long, loving hung that none of them could bare to break away from. Richie looked around him, and for one fleeting moment, he couldn't help but feel that Stan and Eddie were among them, and that the lucky seven was complete once again.