A/N:
Wow I know I'm actually updating this story after...what a year? I suck sorry. If you haven't read the first chapter with an EPOV I would suggest you go back and reread it because I added it a few weeks ago and plus it's probably good just to get a refresher. I will be updating this story more regularly now, although the next update most likely will not be until after the 18th because I'm moving and starting school again so I have to get things all squared away with that. Thanks for being patient everyone.
Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer but these versions of Edward Bella and the rest of the gang are mine as well as the plot. Please don't steal it. I think plagarizers are the lowest of the low and it's not flattering so don't do it. I'm also not interested in having the story translated at this time. Thanks for the interest! : )
Disclaimer: This story will eventually include subject matter that may be sensitive to some readers (No rape, cutting, or suicide). If you're overly concerned about it, I would suggest you not read. I love people to read my stories, but I don't want to totally blindside you with something, that's not fair and it's not why I included it in my story. I have very personal connections to elements in this story, which I'll be happy to share at the appropriate time.
Edward
I woke up the next morning to pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. I sighed and shot up, glaring at the dark haired beauty in front of me.
"Good morning Muffin," I said sarcastically. Bella shot around and gasped, her eyes taking in my bare chest. She quickly turned around and continued on with her work.
"I see the Kool Aid didn't color your hair…" She mumbled.
"Nope." I pulled myself off the couch and started over towards the bar.
"Pity."
I smiled when I smelled the food she was cooking. I walked around the bar and stood next to her, trying to see what it was. Bacon. I fucking love bacon.
She had some already cooked sitting on a plate beside the stove so I reached over to grab one. She swatted my hand away.
"What the hell was that for?" I asked.
"That's mine."
I groaned and grabbed the closest cup I could find. I filled it with water and threw it at Bella. She screamed and started hitting me.
"What was that for?" She screamed.
I reached past her and grabbed a piece of bacon. "That was payback for last night." I took a bite and smirked as I looked down. "And I can see through your shirt. Black bra huh? Sexy."
She screamed and stalked off to her room, which was nice because it left me alone with the food. I might have felt bad about eating it, but she started this whole war. I was going to eat her food if I wanted to.
Alice walked through the door just as Bella returned to the kitchen with a brand new shirt on.
"Oh good! You two have met!" She laughed and continued through the living room and into her room. She appeared a moment later with a ton of luggage and threw it on the living room floor. "Oh!" She squealed. "My new painting. Bella come look at what Edward brought me."
Bella stomped over and stood beside Alice as they looked at the painting on the wall. I crossed my arms and waited to see what she said about it. I don't know why, but I was interested.
"Who's AM?" Bella said, leaning closer. "I've never heard of them before."
"Apparently he's an up and coming artist from L.A. Edward knows him and always brings me new stuff," Alice said.
"Oh really?" Bella spun back towards me and I nodded. "Hmm….It's actually nice. I like it."
"I'll tell him you think so," I laughed. I was a little surprised by her positive reviews of the painting. She glared at me and spun back around towards the kitchen.
"You ate my bacon!" She stared down at her empty plate.
"Yeah it was really good. Thanks." I smiled and leaned against the counter.
"Alice!" Bella screamed.
Alice was completely oblivious to our exchange since she was throwing mounds and mounds of clothes into her suitcases. Apparently she's either taking a trip or donating her wardrobe to charity. I'm going to go with the first one.
"Listen I have a last minute photo shoot down in Aruba. My plane leaves later today and I'll be back next week." She sat down on her suitcase to close it. "Bella you should really show Edward around the city, he's never been here."
"You are not leaving me here with him!" Bella complained.
"Do I get one of those foam Statue of Liberty hats with the Bella Tour?" I asked.
"Alice!"
"You'll do fine," Alice said, pulling her stuff towards the door. "Please. As a favor to me. Please." She slammed the door shut and we were alone in the apartment.
"This should be fun," I smiled at Bella.
"I'm doing this for Alice and Alice only. If you piss me off, I will push you into the Hudson." She started towards her bedroom. "And you're buying me breakfast since you ate mine. Be ready to go in a half hour." She slammed her door.
I started towards the bathroom to take a shower. Bella's door whipped open right as I reached it, towel and clothes in her hands. Polka dotted underwear. Nice.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"I need to take a shower dear."
"No you can't. I need to take a shower."
"We could always shower together," I teased.
"Fine you can go first." She disappeared back into her bedroom.
I took a quick shower and wrapped a towel around my waist as I left the bathroom. I wasn't a conceited guy but I wasn't shy either. I didn't give a shit what she saw. I wasn't one to get embarrassed as far as this goes.
Her door opened and she quickly went into the bathroom. I heard the shower running a few minutes later. I grabbed some clothes and slipped them on before starting back towards the bathroom. I slipped inside and started hanging my towel up.
"Excuse me!" Bella's head peeked out from behind the shower.
"What? Would you rather me leave it on the floor? Relax. I'm not checking you out or anything."
She pulled the shower curtain back as I slipped back out.
I waited out in the living room for her, running my fingers through my damp hair. She took less time than most girls I knew to get ready, which was refreshing. Most girls I knew from L.A. spent at least an hour caking on their makeup only to have it look like shit.
She emerged from the bathroom wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, her hair pulled into a loose ponytail. I was a little disappointed about that. I thought her hair was fucking gorgeous and I wanted to see it.
"Are you ready?" She asked.
"Yep."
We both threw on our jackets and she put on this little knit hat and glove set.
"Don't you have a hat?" She asked.
"Uh no. I lived in L.A."
"Well newsflash you live in New York now. We'll stop at the corner store and get you something. Otherwise you'll freeze your balls off."
"I didn't realize they had hats for genitaila Bella."
"You know what I meant!" She opened the door for me and followed me out.
We headed down to the store and Bella actually offered to buy me a hat and a pair of gloves. I waited outside, smoking a cigarette while she went inside. She appeared five minutes later with a hot pink hat and glove set. I wasn't going to give in and go buy another set, so I wore it. I'm perfectly secure with my masculinity. She seemed a little shocked that I didn't run right back in the store, but that was half of the appeal.
She led me to a diner, which I assumed she went to often. One of the waitresses greeted her by name and led us to a booth in the corner.
"Who's your date?" She asked, laying the menus down in front of us.
"It's Alice brother. Not a date." Bella quickly glanced through the menu and turned towards her. "I'll have the usual. With a chocolate milk."
"What's the usual?" I glanced up at her.
"Two eggs, poached. Side of toast."
"No bacon?" I kinked my eyebrow.
"No," she scowled.
"I'll have the same." I handed my menu to the waitress and she said she'd be back soon with our drinks. "So Alice said you have a job?"
"Yeah. I'm interning at a museum doing research for a paper."
"What's the paper on?"
"Marie Antoinette."
I leaned back and smiled. "Let them eat cake."
"That'd be the one."
"So what else do you do in your spare time?'
"Why are you asking?"
"Because I'm a crazy stalker."
She laughed a little and shook her head. "Not much really. I don't have time for anything anymore. I guess you could say I left it all back home."
"Which is…"
"Michigan."
"America's High Five. Never been there."
"Yeah my parents still live there so…"
The waitress appeared with our chocolate milks and our discussion stopped. Our food came shortly after and we both chowed down. The silence was mildly awkward, but not suffocating. I was never one of those people that had to fill the silence, regardless of all my stupid comments.
We finished our breakfast and started up towards Times Square. I saw the Naked Cowboy, who I couldn't believe was out right now. His dick had to be the size of a peanut. Bella showed me Rockefeller Center. It was kind of cool to see the huge ass Christmas tree that was always on TV.
We took a walk through Central Park and started back, making our way past the theater district.
We didn't talk much, mostly about the shitty weather or just small talk. We were walking past one of the theaters, being completely blasted by a gust of wind, when I realized she wasn't beside me anymore. I turned around and saw her a few feet back, looking up at the marquee.
"Bella?" I went to stand beside her and followed her gaze. "Ballet? Do you like ballet?" I asked.
She quickly shook her head and started walking again.
"Are you coming?" She asked.
"Uh…I actually have some things to do. I'll meet you back at the apartment."
"Fine." She stalked off, acting pissed again. I thought she was actually starting to act normal and she goes and flips the fucking switch on me.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I'd stored the number in there last night when I came across the sign but I thought calling at midnight wouldn't be the best time to rent a space.
"Hello?"
"Yeah hi. I saw you had a space for rent. Is that still available?"
"Yeah do you want to take a look?"
"That'd be great. I can be there in twenty if you're free."
"Sure."
I closed my phone and hailed a cab. I didn't remember the exact address but I memorized the cross street so I would at least be close.
I quickly found the old building again and stepped inside. From the outside it almost looked abandoned. It even looked like a few of the smaller windows were busted out, but I didn't need much. I basically just needed space.
A guy with a potbelly walked into the stairwell a few minutes after I stepped inside.
"You call about the space for rent?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'm Edward." I held out my hand and he shook it before starting up the stairs.
"I'm a little surprised you called, we haven't had many people interested in it. Uh…can I ask what you'll be using it for?"
"Business."
"Well I don't know if it's the best place to have an office buddy. It's in pretty rough shape. There's no furniture or anything and it's not huge." He came to the top of the stairs and pulled out a key. As soon as he opened the door I knew it was perfect. Anyone else would have seen an old abandoned shit hole, but I saw potential. And to be honest I didn't give a fuck what it looked like.
"How much are you asking for rent?"
"It's pretty cheap, considering you aren't getting much."
I looked around as he started rambling off some numbers. There were sheets draped over some of the brick walls and not much else besides dust. That, I'd have to take care of. The floors looked like they were nice hardwood at some time and I'm sure all they'd need is a good cleaning.
"I'll pay you double for the first month if you can get it tidied up a little bit," I said.
"You've got a deal. Call me when you've got the check."
Bella
I was so fucking stupid to even go into the theater district. I tried to avoid it at all costs just in case. Every time I saw one it fucking gutted me like a knife.
Edward said he had some business to take care of and I hoped it was finding himself an apartment. I could already tell we were not going to get along if he stayed there much longer. I mean who walks in on someone they just met in the shower?
I headed back to the apartment and read a little more of the book I'd started. My eyes kept drifting towards my closet, even though I told them to stop.
I heard Edward come back eventually but I stayed in my room hoping he wouldn't bother me.
When I realized that I'd read the same paragraph ten times and didn't remember a word of it I finally closed my book and set it on my nightstand. I crossed my arms and stared at my closet. I knew they were in there, probably staring right back at me. Taunting me because they knew I wanted them. But they had no idea how big of a deal it was and it brought back all these emotions that I didn't want to even think about. Have you ever had anything that was an essential part of who you are and know that you can't want it? Not only would my dad flip, but I was so out of shape I don't think I could do it even if I wanted to.
I started biting anxiously on my fingers as I made my way over to the closet. Maybe if I just…looked at them it would be okay. It would give me my fix. I would be okay and I could go back to reading. Everything would be fine.
I opened my closet door and stood on my tiptoes to reach the very back of my shelf. My fingers barely brushed against the edge of the box and my breath hitched in my throat just feeling it. It took a while but I eventually maneuvered the box forward and grasped it in my hands, pulling it down to my chest and walking back to my bed.
I smiled as soon as I opened it and pulled out my shoes. They were a little worse for wear, but they were just as beautiful as I remembered them. The pink had faded a lot, especially down by the toes. All I wanted to do in that moment was put them on with a nice pair of leg warmers and twirl around my room. My room wasn't even close to big enough for it, but I still wanted it nonetheless.
As much as I loved it, it was fucking brutal. I panicked, quickly putting the shoes back in the box and throwing them under my bed. That wasn't a part of my life anymore but I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of them.
I wiped my tears away and laid back down in my bed, trying to go to sleep. When I finally drifted off I dreamed I was gliding across the floor effortlessly, almost like I was floating. There was nothing weighing me down and I was happy. And when I woke up the next morning I wanted it even more.
I spent the day at the museum, trying to stay distracted. I technically didn't even have to be there right now since I'm on break, but it keeps me focused on something. I'd slipped out this morning without waking Edward up and I honestly was too anxious to have to deal with him.
I left the museum a little early and took a walk around the city looking for what I needed. I knew the right places to look even though they were in all the wrong places of town. I needed something unknown. I needed to be invisible. I saw one that might work so I decided to check it out later that night.
I headed back home and brought a pizza for Edward and I, just in case. If not I would gladly eat the whole thing or save it for leftovers.
He was home and we ate together in silence at the bar. When I was finished I packaged up the few pieces that were left and headed into my room. I told him I was probably going to be in for the night.
I laid around for a little bit, wondering if I was really going to do this. I wanted to, but I knew once I started I was crossing a line. I wouldn't be able to walk away. It was like a drug to me. The instant I started I became addicted.
I heard Edward switch the television off out in the living room and waited a few minutes before peeking my head out. The room was completely dark so I assumed he'd gone to bed.
I went over to my closet and rummaged around for any of my old clothes that I still had. I pulled on a pair of leggings, an old big concert t-shirt and my favorite purple leg warmers.
I grabbed my shoe box from under my bed and stuffed it into my backpack, along with my wallet, keys and pepper spray just in case. I bundled myself up in a coat, hat, scarf and gloves and tiptoed out into the living room. I didn't bother looking over at Edward. I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.
I closed the door softly behind me and locked it up before starting down the hallway.
I took a taxi towards the building I'd seen earlier. I knew I couldn't just walk right in because it was probably locked, but there had to be another way in. I started around the building and into an alleyway. There were a few bums standing around and I ignored their hollers at me as I walked by.
I turned another corner and smiled when I saw a fire escape. I sat my bag down and jumped a few times, reaching for the bottom of the stairs so I could pull them down to me.
I started climbing, stopping when I reached the third floor. I peeked inside the windows there and saw a fairly empty large room. The floors looked halfway decent and it looked like there was a grimy old mirror in the corner, covered halfway with a sheet. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. It didn't look like anyone had been in there in awhile so I didn't really worry about having company.
I pushed the window open, thanking God that it was unlocked. I pulled myself in and set my bag on the floor. I sat down and pulled my shoebox out, taking off my socks and setting them inside.
It felt strange to have my shoes on again, but a good strange. I knew it was going to take awhile to get me back into shape and I shouldn't expect to be perfect tonight. It was just a test run, a trial to see where I was at. I'd have to get some kind of bar in here somewhere too.
I stood up and flexed my feet, stretching out the shoes. They were worn enough that they shouldn't be incredibly uncomfortable, but that term was all relative in ballet. I wouldn't be surprised if my feet were bruised and bloody for a while as they got used to the shoes again.
I leaned back and started stretching, knowing that after all this time the last thing I needed was to pull a muscle. I wasn't nearly as flexible I once was, but I was hoping I could get back there again.
I grabbed my IPod and a set of speakers out of my bag before turning on some light music. I always had to have music. Even when they played all that classical stuff in all my classes I was listening to something different inside my head. I liked the music that moved you. It helped me put everything I had into my dancing and it's what made me good. I used to be good.
I pointed my toe, feeling the shoe roll and catch as the flat part of the toe met the floor. I winced as the pain shot through my foot, the weight of my body pressing down on it. The shoes made it so much easier, but that didn't mean it felt like rainbows and sunshine. Anyone who thought dancing was easy has never tried to go on point.
I grabbed the mirror from the corner of the room and set it in front of me. I wiped it off with the sheet and studied myself in my attire. It'd been a long time since I'd seen myself like this and it was a little overwhelming.
I kept popping up on my toes, trying to hold it longer and longer each time. I eventually collapsed to the ground, unable to take the pain anymore. I landed hard on my palms and tried to catch my breath. I caught sight of myself in the mirror again, my face starting to grow flushed and sweaty.
I reached up and wiped away the sweat, suddenly realizing it wasn't sweat at all. It was tears. I couldn't tell if it was from the emotional or physical pain. But it was from pain. The worst kind. The kind that tears you apart and leaves you broken.
I did a few more spins, twirls and stretches, but I didn't want to push it the first night. When I felt I'd done enough I packed up my things and headed back to the apartment. It was close to one in the morning and I hoped Edward was just as soundly asleep as he was when I left.
I quietly unlocked the front door and snuck inside. I was just about to set my bag down and grab a sip of water when the door opened again. Edward and I both screamed as we saw each other then quickly realized neither of us were axe murderers. He flipped on the light and started laughing.
"Swan you are really trying to kill me." He shook his head and set his bag down at his feet. He kicked his shoes off and started over towards the couch.
"Where the hell were you?" I asked.
"I could ask you the same question…" He nodded to the bag in my hands.
"None of your business." I held my bag defensively tight to my body.
"And where I was is none of your business either." He plopped down on the couch and closed his eyes.
"Are you doing something illegal? Are you selling drugs? Because I don't want someone like that staying with me."
"Relax I'm not a drug dealer…" He laughed. "I'm not saying I've never done anything illegal but I'm not a drug dealer."
I pulled myself up onto a barstool and started spinning slowly around. "So you've never done drugs?"
"I've smoked pot before. I mean a lot of people try that at least once. Except for probably you," he teased.
"And how do you know I've never smoked pot?" I asked.
"Because you've got a stick so far up your ass I'm surprised I can't see it in the back of your mouth." He sat up and stared at me. "Okay fine Bella. I'll play. Have you ever smoked pot before?"
"Yes."
"Yes?"
I nodded.
"Hmm…" he mused. "You never cease to amaze me and we just met." He laid back down and laughed. "Nothing hardcore?"
"I did have an obsessive Twinkie addiction but I've managed to wean myself off of it." I crossed my arms in front of me.
"Badass." He closed his eyes and I realized he was starting to fall asleep.
I sighed and headed back to my room, closing the door behind me. I pulled off all my clothes and threw them in the hamper. I stopped when I saw myself in the mirror. I always tried not to look at mirrors until I was completely dressed because I hated seeing it.
I ran my fingers over the hideous scar on my chest and shook my head. I hated that I was always going to be marked with this damn thing. A constant reminder of my past.
I quickly threw a t-shirt on and crawled into bed. Before I fell asleep my thoughts drifted to Edward and whatever secret he was hiding. I guess we all have our secret lives known only to us. Some things are just too personal to share with anyone. A part of me wished that someday I might know Edward's secret and for the first time I was open to the possibility that I might be okay with him knowing mine. Someday.
A/N:
And now you probably understand why it's called Secret Life. : ) And I love Edward, he cracks me up. Thoughts?
XOXO Mandy
