A/N: Hey! ^_^

Thanks for reading this! Sorry for the delay! My exams were done last week, but I had seriously hit a dead end with this story and was on the verge of deleting it or putting it up for adoption! :P

I know how it should finally go, so thanks for reading !

I would love it if you guys reviewed! It means a lot!


Room no.53

Yvonne Touma

Radio Jockey Instructor

'Looks like a new office at LME.', Kyoko realized, as she looked at the paper for confirmation. Yes, it was the same venue that the President had written for her. The meeting venue was to be in LME's main building, on the fifteenth floor. Kyoko had never seen an office assigned for Radio Jockey instructors. It had obviously been set up after the introduction of 'Love Infinity'.

'Yvonne..Touma..', Kyoko mused. 'Is she even Japanese?' It did have a nice ring to it..She just hoped that Yvonne Touma was as nice and pretty as her name. She went into fantasy mode, imagining a beautiful, tall, young lady, with long black hair falling to her waist, and ivory skin that glowed with health and beauty…

'Yes!', Kyoko thought dreamily. 'I would love a princess instructor like that!' .She suddenly frowned as she remembered that Ren would also be working with her. 'Well maybe she can just have Short black hair and a freckle or too..', she thought, feeling a little less generous.

Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand and knocked the door firmly.

At first there was no reply. When she was about to knock her head again, a loud powerful sounding voice boomed from inside, "ENTREZ!"

'Entrez?', she wondered, a little bewildered, as she opened the door. 'I thought you say 'enter' in English for 'Come in'? Am I wrong? Or maybe she's French or Spanish?'

It was a large office, equipped with microphones, headphones and other impressive looking equipment. There was a desk at the end of the office, and someone standing , bent over it, clearly reading or studying something. "Take a seat!", she said , waving a hand towards some chairs at the side of the room. "I'll be with you in a minute."

Kyoko walked to one of the chairs and sat down, her eyes never leaving Yvonne's back. She seemed to be tall and –

She gasped when Yvonne suddenly turned around, casually leaning against the desk.

If Yvonne looked tall when she was bending, it was nothing compared to when she was standing! She was easily taller than Ren Tsuruga by a good six inches or so. She was a large strapping woman, powerfully built. She was especially muscular around her arms, as the sleeves seemed a little tight. Her face too had a slightly masculine aspect about it. She had beautiful eyes though, slant, and a pretty, sparkly grey. Something about her features suggested a mixture of foreign and Japanese descent. Apart from her eyes, the one thing that suggested that Yvonne was a woman was her large breasts! Kyoko goggled at the outrageously large F-cups that threatened to burst the buttons of Yvonne's well cut suit.

"Miss Kyoko Mogami isn't it?", Yvonne enquired, looking at a sheet of paper, causing a blushing Kyoko to look up from Yvonne's most noticeable features . She had a loud, powerful voice, perfect for public speaking. She spoke with a slight foreign accent, which suggested she was probably half French.

"My name is Yvonne Touma as you already know.", she said with an amiable smile. Kyoko relaxed at her friendly smile. She didn't look so strict now. "An-"

Yvonne stopped at the sound of a knock on the door. "Ahhh..that must be Ren Tsuruga now, !",she said genially. Kyoko wanted to giggle at the way she pronounced Ren's name but restrained herself.

The door opened and Ren entered the room with a smile. His smile disappeared, to be replaced with a confused look. "Oh I am so sorry sir! I was supposed to have a meeting with Touma san."

At that moment Kyoko realized two things.

One, Ren Tsuruga didn't look at a woman's breasts no matter how big they were.

And two, judging by the flash of Yvonne's eyes when Ren addressed her as 'sir', was, she was a little sensitive about her masculine build and didn't take kindly to being treated like a man.

There was a moments silence when Yvonne glared at Ren. "I see…", she said softly. "Yvonne Touma you say?"

"Er..yes..", Ren replied, not oblivious to the sudden tension in the air. "Is there a problem?"

"Will you please take a nice long look at the plaque on the door?", she continued in a poisonously sweet voice. "And tell me what you think about it?"

Ren, looking extremely confused by now, opened the door and craned his head around it to read the plaque. When he was back, Yvonne was still watching him in that predatory manner.

"Well?", she asked. "Now that you've seen it, what do you think?"

"Er..I guess it's a pretty nice plaque.", he said, obviously wondering where this was leading to.

Yvonne let out a long sigh of resignation. "Who were you supposed to be having a meeting with Mr. Tsuruga?"

"Touma san and..Kyoko Mogami.", he replied.

"Bien..Tres Bien!", She congratulated him. "And who do you see in this room? Apart from me?"

Ren looked around and caught sight of Kyoko. "Mogami san! There you are!", he greeted her.

"Yes..There she is!", Yvonne replied in a dangerous voice. "And there is Ren Tsuruga!..And here is..?"

Realization slowly started to dawn on Ren's face as her words sunk in. "Ahh…", was all he managed to say before Yvonne marched decisively up to him, grabbed his hands and placed them on her plump breasts!

Ren spluttered and tried to retrieve his hands, blushing furiously as Yvonne forced them to squeeze her breasts. He quickly withdrew his hands when she let go, and dug them deeply in his pockets. "I am extremely sorry for having mistaking you as a man Touma san!", he apologized, sounding flustered.

"Oh that's all right now!", she said amicably, as though nothing had just happened. "Besides, it's neither your's nor mine's first time like this no?", she added slyly, with a wink. Her eyes flickered in Kyoko's direction and felt a pang of pleasure at her narrowed eyes and pursed up lips.

Kyoko glared in their direction, hating the intimate way Yvonne made Ren touch her breasts. And now she was flirting with him so casually! 'This was exactly why I didn't want to fall in love again!', she berated herself. 'I hate what it does to me..how it consumes me so much..how I let jealousy cloud my mind and judgement..'

'YES!', her demons yelled triumphantly. 'Love is a dirty emotion! It isn't too late to turn back boss! Lock up the box once more! And this time use iris scanning security system! After all Love is blind! Hee..hee…so there is absolutely NO way he'll be able to break it open again!'

"Mogami san?"

Kyoko turned to her side, startled, and immediately regretted it. Ren was looking at her, concerned, and his face was a bit too close for comfort. He was dressed casually today in light blue jeans and a button up shirt. The sleeves were carelessly folded up, yet somehow it all looked so right on him, that Kyoko could not help admire how handsome he was.

'Which is why he is not the one for me, a plain, boring girl!', she thought mournfully. But the sight of Yvonne's self satisfied smirk made her throw away any plans she had of relocking her box. She gave Ren a reassuring smile and they turned their attention to Yvonne.

"So!", Yvonne continued, "I will be your radio jockey instructor for this month. So you two are the first trainees I've had at LME. The President wants to wait and watch how successful the radio station is before hiring more radio jockeys. So I'm counting on you to help me keep my job!", she added with a laugh.

Ren and Kyoko didn't reply. They just politely nodded.

"Now I would prefer that I had two months to train you up. Being a jockey is no piece of cake. It means a lot, and I mean a LOT of work and training. You also need to be skilled in handling the recording instruments and other devices in the studio, which frankly, I believe Miss Mogami is a complete novice at."

Kyoko curled her fists at Yvonne's belittling tone. "I may be too young for this job, Yvonne!", she replied tightly, all honorifics forgotten, "But I am a quick learner! "

"That she is!", Ren added, warmly. "I've seen her pick up things in a day, that people take months or even years to learn!"

Kyoko flashed him a grateful smile. Though she didn't believe he saw her as any more than a child or a kouhai, she like the way he glowingly praised her abilities. She knew he was remembering her model training.

"Whatever.", Yvonne shrugged. "Anyway, I will first assess you two on your speaking skills and then set up your training schedule. You shouldn't have too much trouble with voice modulations and stuff, seeing that you're actors. So..shall we begin?"

She took two sheets of paper from her desk and handed one two each of them.

"I'll give you two minutes to read through your scripts.", she explained. "You needn't memorize them. At the end of two minutes, I'll ask you to read them aloud to me. So you have two minutes to decide how on your voice modulations, intonations and everything. Very similar to what you already do as actors."

"But as a jockey, aren't we supposed to say everything naturally? Without memorizing or reading out loud?", Kyoko asked, a little surprised.

Yvonne laughed. "A common misconception!", she replied. "But good question Mogami san! And now let me ask you one in return. Can you ever see what a radio jockey is doing at the other end?"

They both shook their heads.

"Exactly!", she affirmed. "If you're audience can't see you, you're free to run the show as you please. Allow me to give you your first tip as a jockey! Always, make sure you have a written version of everything you plan to tell on the show. You need not memorize it of course. But just imagine, yourself, live, on air, and suddenly you just forget what you want to say.

It's perfectly natural and can happen from time to time, even to the most gifted speakers. But you cannot have even a few seconds of dead silence on the radio. To the audience, it might feel like very long minutes! That's where a written ad-lib comes to the rescue! Got that?"

"Right!", her two students replied enthusiastically.

"I'll cover that bit properly later during the training.", Yvonne assured them. "For now, concentrate on the scripts given to you. Your time starts now!"

Kyoko began to study the script. It was a typical script of a radio jockey. She had to first read out the station name and frequency, her name and also her Co RJ.

'Okay..so now how do I read this line..', she frowned, at the opening sentence.

Drown Yourself in ecstasy..in love..in the awesomeness that is called-LOVE INFINITY!

'Yuck!', she silently snorted. 'What a cheesy line!'

She scrunched up her eyes in concentration. Drown Yourself..in ecstasy..in ecstasy.. Maybe she could say it in a rather sexy way..like Natsu would. The line sounded rather provocative that way though but it would do.

'Okay!', she thought determinedly. 'Opening line-Natsu! And next-'

"Time's up!", Yvonne announced. "Kyoko, you first!"

'NOOOOOOO! I'm not yet ready!', she panicked as she shakily made her way to the middle of the room. She felt as though the whole world was watching her and laughing. 'Get a grip!', she scolded herself. 'You're an actress! You can do it!'

She cleared her throat and began to read letting Natsu take over.

"Drown yourself in ecstasy..in love…in the awesomeness that is called-LOVE INFINITY!", she purred sexily, dragging the words 'ecstasy' and 'love' seductively. "Thanks for tuning into 88.5 frequency with me, 'K' and my partner-'Lover boy!' "

'Hmm..switch to Bo now!', Kyoko decided before continuing.

" Why' LOVE INFIFNITY' you ask? Because I am im LOVE with the very idea of LOVE! Love is an ocean! A bottomless ocean where you can drown happy! And that is what you can do for an hour in our show! Send us song requests, proposals and messages dedicated to your loved ones-be it your lover, your spouse, your children, your siblings, your friends..and anyone special! Right now I have a request for the song.."

She continued reading till Yvonne raised a hand, signaling her to stop. "That was pretty good Kyoko!", she admitted. "There are some minor things I want you to work on, but I'll tell them to you later. Now, Ren, it's your turn!"

Kyoko went back to her seat while Ren got ready. They both had the same script, as Kyoko realized while listening to him. He wasn't too bad either, and Yvonne seemed satisfied with him as well.

"You're pretty good, the two of you!", she praised them. "You have the raw talent for the job. Now, it's up to us to develop that talent. Training starts tomorrow. I want you two here every evening at eight sharp. Ren, your manager has arranged to have you free at that time everyday this month. So it shouldn't be a problem. I'll see you tomorrow then!"

Thanking the instructor, Kyoko had to grudgingly admit that she knew her stuff. It was difficult to say whether she liked her or not. At times, Yvonne was sugary sweet, especially to Ren, and at other times, she could be quite catty, especially to her, Kyoko!


They began training the next day. If Ren and Kyoko had imagined it to be a breeze, they could not have been more mistaken. Yvonne was a tough instructor and kept them in for three hours everyday, though gradually it started to extend to three and a half to four hours. It was usually midnight by the time they were finally free to leave.

They practiced ad lib writing the first hour. Then Yvonne would take them to a recording studio that had been set up for the sole purpose of training future jockeys. On the first day she showed them everything there was to know about operating the recording devices.

"Usually, one of the qualifications a radio jockey needs is a degree in audio engineering.", she explained. "During the early days of radio, the jockey would just do the talking while an engineer would change the records, punch in commercials and handle the gadgets. But that takes money. Nowadays, it's the jockey who needs to handle the equipment."

Yvonne showed them the basics about the equipment. "You're not audio engineers, nor do you hold any degree in electrical sciences.", she pointed out. "So for now, I'll just show you the most often used operations with these equipments."

Kyoko found the lesson pretty exciting. Yvonne showed them how to produce remixes and fusions of various songs, how to go on and off air, how to punch in commercials and a lot more. She was a veritable encyclopedia on how to handle electronic equipment.

The next day onwards, they began practising the real part of their job after an hour of scripting practice. Basically the script they had prepared earlier was to be the basis of their practice 'show'. And Yvonne did not show them any mercy here.

"The script is too boring!", she would sometimes complain. Or…

"Stop pausing so much Ren!", she barked at him once, when she happened to be in a particularly foul mood.

"Too many corny jokes!"

"Not a bit funny! Push in some jokes!"

And so it went on and on...

She even gave them breathing exercises to do at home and taught them to speak into the mike, pausing naturally only for a few microseconds. "Remember, even a two second silence can feel like two whole minutes to the listeners, especially if t happens too much!", she warned. "Once or maybe even twice! Anymore,and they'll tune out!"

And there were days when she advised them on their taste for music fusions. "Don't mix these two! Fuwa's and Vie Ghoul's music sound the same to me! Try Ruriko's instead here!"

She was hard to please, but she really knew her job, and helped Ren and Kyoko a lot, especially in the writing skills.

"You don't need to repeat jokes that people know anyway!", she told them. "Try a different approach. You could do parodies of movie scenes or mimic some typical mannerisms of various celebrities! Just make sure your listeners aren't bored or alienated! Make them feel you're talking to each and every one of them! NEVER talk down to them! It'll only take them a second to shut you up!"

Finally, before she left them, she gave them an hour's practice on Agony Aunt sessions. To Kyoko's dismay, she was expected to give advice on love to all the lovesick idiots listening to them and ringing up. But Ren had an unexpected knack for finding solutions.

"I like this girl in my class. And I think she likes me too. I want to ask her out. So how do I best go impressing her?", Yvonne read out from a list of 'love problems' she had looked up from the internet and various magazines.

'Don't waste your time!', Kyoko was tempted to say. 'If she doesn't know your feelings, leave them alone! Don't suffer the same fate as I am doing right now!'

" May I have your name please?", Ren asked politely. Yvonne gave him an approving smile before replying, "Keishi. I'm a university student."

"Right Keishi! First of all, thanks for tuning in. I have the perfect solution. First, try and find out if she's seeing anyone. If she is, forget her!", Yvonne chuckled lightly. "If she isn't, just go and tell her how you feel. Try a unique approach. You could write her a love letter, and send her flowers. Sounds cheesy, I know, but basically, try to make her feel special!"

For a moment, Kyoko went starry eyes, as she remembered her first kiss, and first date fantasies. She had long forgotten them, but the man beside her, with his warmth and kindness, made her yearn for the love that she'd longed for but which always eluded her.

'I should try my best at this too!', she thought determinedly.

Some of the problems were absolute howlers.

"I am madly in love with Sho Fuwa! Can you connect me to him so I can propose to him on live radio?!", Yvonne asked, doing a very good imitation of a young man!

Kyoko snorted. She was so ready for this! "First of all, what's your name?", she asked in a menacing voice, making Yvonne's eyes widen with fear. "Y…Y..ashiro!", she squeaked out the first name that came to her head, as she was accidentally going to say her own name first.

"Right Yashiro!", Kyoko said firmly. "Let me ask you this. Why are you chasing after a Ford, when you have a Ferrari right at your doorstep?"

"M..meaning?", a confused 'Yashiro' Yvonne asked.

"I mean, why go for Sho Fuwa when you have Ren Tsuruga by your side twenty four seven?!", Kyoko blurted out, forgetting who was by her side.

Yvonne merely chortled, and advised Kyoko not to be so frightening to her caller. Ren looked too stunned to speak. He made a mental note to interrogate Yashiro san and find out if he indeed had feelings for Ren , for such an idea to have occurred to Kyoko.

Yvonne also ventured into the more serious problems.

"I'm getting divorced. How do I talk my wife out of this?". These kind of problems seemed to be Ren's forte, probably because he had broken up so many times, he knew by now, what exactly one should not do to piss off one's partner.

Some were even more serious and definitely not problems one normally heard about in usual agony aunt sessions.

"I keep getting the feeling someone's watching me! I think I'm being stalked! Help me!"

"Either call a psychiatrist, or the police!", Kyoko replied drily.

"Oh thank you! If I hadn't thought of that, I wouldn't be calling you would I?", Yvonne replied sarcastically. She glared at Kyoko. "And you've just lost a listener thanks to your rudeness! Even if you don't have a solution, be nice and polite till the very end. Make your caller feel at ease. Let him feel that you understand! Empathize with him! "

And so on it went for a month, by when the two would be jockeys were more or less ready.

On the last day, they did a trial show, complete with music and commercials. 'Love Infinity' had garnered quite a few sponsers, thanks to the name of LME. The only thing that bothered Kyoko was the lack of publicity. The President was being suspiciously quiet about the whole affair, when he would normally have made sure the whole world knew about it!

She told this to Yvonne who merely shrugged. "I've done my job and that's all that matter to me!", was all she said. "Now forget that! I have important news for you!"

They looked at her expectantly. She had given their trial show an 'Okay' and was reasonable pleased with how they handled the show. It would be broadcasted every Saturday only. The jockey names, Yvonne informed them, would be aliases.

Kyoko was to be named, RJ 'Ninja lover' and Ren was christianed, 'Mr. Playboy'.

"And now, let's get on with another trial show!", Yvonne announced, with a clap of her hands.

The second trial went on smoothly when Yvonne dropped the bomb at the Lovelorn session.

"I loved a man once.", she started. "Whether he loved me or not, I have no idea. But he married me three years ago and we fianlle consummated our marriage after two years!"

There was a slight pause, before Yvonne continued. "And then, he just left!", burying her face in her hands and starting to sob. "I miss him so much! Especially the SEX! The way he nibbled my breasts..kissed me on the crook of my neck..and then I would lick his co-"

"Erm..yes, we all get the idea how much you miss him!", Ren interrupted hastily, his face red with embarrasement. "Can you tell us his name?"

Yvonne gasped. "It's you!", she screamed with joy, looking up straight at him.

"I beg your pardon?", Ren asked nervously. "I assure you ma'am, I am NOT your husband! I am still a bachelor!"

But Yvonne wasn't listening. She seemed to be like a woman possessed. She stood up suddenly from her chair and rushed to Ren, throwing herself on him, and making them both land on the ground flat.

"Ren! Oh Ren!", she sobbed, kissing his cheeks. "Don't you recognize me love? After all this time!" ,and plunged her tongue into his mouth."

"I knew the moment you touched my breasts, we had a connection!", she whispered. "Oh darling, I've finally found you!"

Ren wasn't listening. He had fainted from shock and the weight he was crushed under.

Kyoko stared at them flabbergasted. For a month she had had wondered whether she liked or Yvonne or not. And now, as she watched Yvonne kiss the unconscious Ren Tsuruga, she finally had the answer..

'I Hate her!', she thought, her demons swarming about her, as she made her way towards them..


A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed that! For the people who reviewed, alerted and favourited, a big THANK YOU for waiting! I hope you haven't given up on it, like I nearly did! Once again, read, enjoy and review!