Chapter II: The Meeting
The Almighty Disclaimer
Oh Moffat and Gatiss,
Henson and Doyle,
To you belongs all the characters
And none so for me!
A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth..." by Pika-la-Cynique of Girls Next Door fame.
There was some confusion in the last chapter. The Goblin King right now is NOT Jareth. I changed it to show that this Goblin King is dark-haired. I am very sorry over the confusion. To make restitution for my error, I am posting two chapters at once.
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Goblins would come by with instructions at least once a week for Hoggle. They were annoying little buggers that ruined the flower beds. The only thing that annoyed Hoggle more were the fairies. They were the worst biters that Hoggle had ever come across.
Hoggle refused to listen to any of the news about the War of Succession.
About two months into his new placement, Hoggle was tackled by several muddy goblins. It had already been a rough day already when Hoggle accidentally released a swarm of fairies. But being attacked by muddy Rats?
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Hoggle yelled.
The goblins all ran back in fear save one. This one was the muddiest of them all. It grinned and (surprisingly) was missing its top two front teeth, an oddity amongst goblins.
"We were pretending to be pigs!" the fearless one said.
Hoggle began to walk away, not wanting to knock out this goblin's other teeth (too much effort) when it said, "Why do you walk funny?"
Because my kinsmen shot me when I ran away, you abomination.
Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The dwarf got a wonderful, awful idea!
"Do you know what an oubliette is?" Hoggle asked.
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Several hours later, Hoggle was trimming the hedges when he heard someone shouting, "Christiana! This is not funny! You've scared Dante!"
A blonde Fae/goblin teenager turned around the corner and pointed to Hoggle with a riding crop. "You. Higgle, is it?"
"Hoggle," the dwarf said indigently.
"Hoggle, have you seen my niece?" the teen said.
"I don't know who you are, so how should I know who your niece is?" Hoggle said.
The teen huffed. "I am the heir to the Goblin Kingdom, dwarf, and your future master. It would be wise of you to show some respect."
Hoggle thought for a moment. He had not seen anything as ugly as the Goblin King nor anything that looked like a Fae as the Goblin Prince seemed to be. "No. Can't say that I have."
"No? She's six. She's missing her two front teeth. Just lost the second one two days ago, actually," the Prince said, smiling slightly at the thought. "Anyway, her brother was supposed to be watching her but he got distracted by some of the Rock Callers. Some of the goblin said that she ran off this direction with some of her goblin friends."
Hoggle suddenly remembered the goblin with two missing teeth he had tossed into the oubliette. They're going to kill me. I don't want to die! "I… uh, don't know. I ain't seen no girl."
The Goblin Prince grabbed Hoggle by the collar. "What have you done with her? I told the King it was a bad idea to bring you in and I certainly did not want to be proved right in this way! TELL ME DWARF! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY NIECE?"
Hoggle shook and had never been more scared in his life. "An oubliette. I tossed her in an oubliette! Don't kill me. I didn't know! I swear!"
"Show me now and I may make your end swift!" the Prince growled.
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Hoggle could barely breathe as he led the Goblin Prince to the oubliette he had dropped the princess in a few hours before. When they came to the place, the Goblin Prince created a crystal that was as bright as a lantern and tossed it down the hole. It lit the dark pit and showed the muddy princess, who was crying.
"Christiana, I'm coming. Don't move," the Prince said.
The girl kept crying. The Prince dropped himself down the hole. When he landed, he picked up his niece and cradled her against him. "Oh, kinsman, I'm so sorry. I should have looked for you sooner. I am so sorry."
"I want Mama," Christine sobbed.
"I'll take you straight to Mama, all right?" the Prince said.
Christiana nodded and the three of them were transported to the Throne Room. The Goblin King was not there, but the Queen sat on the throne with an eight year old boy who had obviously been crying. Hoggle had never seen a prettier woman in all his days (and would not think anyone was prettier until a certain brunette ran the Labyrinth). The Queen had long blonde hair in an intricate design that was braided with gold thread. Her dress was a deep red that showed just the slightest of the fair skin of her neck and wrists. Her crown was simple circlet of pearls and gold. Hoggle was certain this was what he always imagined a Fae queen to look like.
"What happened to her?" the Queen asked.
The Goblin Prince glared at the dwarf. "Hogwash tossed her into the oubliette."
"It's Hoggle!"
The Queen held out her arms and took the mud covered child into her arms, ruining her dress. "Christiana, my sweet one, are you all right?"
The princess shook her head. "It was so dark Mommy. I thought everyone forgot me." Both of the children of the Goblin Queen began to cry.
"Oh, children, it's all right. Everyone is safe now," the Queen said. She embraced both her children and kissed the tops of their head, causing a smudge of mud to cover her lips.
Hoggle found himself lifted by the collar once again by the Crowned Prince. "May I please dispose of this garbage? How about the Cleaners? It might stain the tunnel walls a little but…"
"That is enough, Jareth," the Goblin King said as he stalked into the room, "You are not king yet and you have much to learn in the short time we have left."
The goblins' behavior changed into wilder behavior and seemed to almost be dancing in the presence of their king. Two goblins seemed to be pretending to drum with a ladle and a wooden cooking spoon. The Goblin King sighed. "Tom, Tot, give those back to the cook. Honestly, I feel like ripping myself in two with how often I have to tell the lot of you not to touch the cook's things."
The two goblins ran off. The Goblin King picked up his son and sat on the throne with his wife. After patting his daughter on the head, the Goblin King focused his attention on Hoggle. "Jareth, put down the dwarf before you choke him."
"That. Was. My. Goal," Jareth said through gritted teeth. He dropped Hoggle, though.
"Hoggle, what did you do?" the Goblin King asked.
Hoggle took off his hat and looked somewhat ashamed. "I… uh… dropped the princess into an oubliette."
"Why?" the Goblin King asked.
"…I was mad."
"Why?"
"Cause I'm sick enough of the fairies and the goblins I don't need to be bothered about my leg," Hoggle said.
"Christiana, did you ask Hoggle about his leg?" the Goblin King asked.
"Yes, Papa," Christine said.
"Now, Christiana, that was very rude and you know it. You do not ask people how they have been hurt in the past unless they ask to tell it," the Goblin King said, "Now, what do we do about the situation?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Hoggle for asking about your leg," Christiana said.
Hoggle glanced at Jareth and quickly responded, "Yer forgiven, yer Majesty."
"Now, Christiana, what do you think should be Hoggle's punishment for punishing you without permission from your Mother or myself?" the Goblin King said.
Hoggle gulped. Goblins and children were both known for being vindictive. The dwarf was terrified of what a child goblin would do.
"Um, can he make sure people can get out from now on? It's scary in the dark," Christiana asked.
"What a brilliant idea, little one," the Goblin King said. He kissed his daughter's muddy forehead. He wiped the mud off his lips before addressing Hoggle. "We have not put in an addition to the Labyrinth since Christiana has been born. You would be a wonderful obstacle. For the rest of your natural life, Hoggle, you will have to fetch Runners out of the oubliettes and lead them back to the beginning of the Labyrinth. How does that sound to you?"
"What? That's it?" Jareth shouted, "Christiana could have been killed! You should at least kill him if not throw him into the Bog!"
"Jareth, are you questioning my decision as king?" the Goblin King asked.
"No, sir," Jareth said quietly.
"Kinsman, one of these days, your anger will lead to your downfall and you will lose everything you hold dear," the Goblin King said with a sigh, "You must promise that you will not kill the dwarf unless he commits a capital offense."
"I promise not to kill Hogsbreath unless he commits a capital offense," Jareth mumbled.
"Jay, you have an almost perfect memory," the Goblin Queen said, "You were just speaking to me the other day why you thought it was a bad idea to have a traitor as our gardener."
Jareth glared at the Goblin Queen. "I always appreciate it when siblings snitch on each other," the Goblin King said, "Now, back to the task at hand. Jareth…"
"I promise not to kill Hoggle unless he commits a capital offense," Jareth said.
"Good. Dante, do not think I forgot you," the Goblin King said. A bucket of soapy water and a scrub brush appeared at the foot of the throne. "I think it is safe to say that you are not going to let your sister out of your sight. However, she is very dirty and a punishment of equal measurement should be put into effect. You will scrub the Throne Room floor until the chickens can see their reflections in it. You will not be allowed to play until that is done, do you understand?"
Dante made a little choking noise.
"Good. I am so glad to see things worked out as such," the Goblin King said, "Now, if you will excuse me, I have a few royals to kill before the day is out. I should be back in time for dinner love, but start without me if I am not home."
"Of course, husband," the Goblin Queen said, "Be careful."
The Goblin King kissed his wife. "Always."
Jareth glared at the dwarf. "Do not think I will forget what you did to my niece," Jareth said in a hushed tone.
Hoggle was quite proud of himself. He did not faint until he reached his home.
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A/N: Ah, the beginnings of terror are sown. MMMWWWHAHAHA!
And it was at this point that I realized I was not writing a one-shot. Hoggle and Jareth's story just kind of grew on its own. I mean, I know Jareth always wants attention, but Hoggle was quite the surprise.
