"Checking all port systems, complete," a speaker's mechanical voice blared. I smothered a stray "squee!" that had attempted to escape my lips. Spiderman and Doc Oc and the Statue of Liberty and… and, and SQUEE!
It was pitch black, uncomfortable as a trunk could possibly be (they weren't exactly made for comfort), and I couldn't see my own hands, but it all seemed worth it. I might see, well hear, my vision was a bit impaired, Spiderman! Police sirens whirred in the background. Oh, the excitement!
"This is Jonah Jameson, roger, over," the speaker blasted, "Is this thing on? Listen SCOOP, crime reports are coming in from all over the city and I'm starting to get worried. Did you see that? The Spider signal!" he must have been seeing the scene through his computer. Lucky bastard, "With Spiderman nearby, trouble can't be far away. You know what trouble means. Headlines! National coverage! So don't screw this up. I mean, uh, good luck," his concern was always touching.
"You shouldn't be out here. With Doc Oc on the loose this could be the most dangerous night of my life, and yours!" Omigod that was Spiderman. Spiderman is talking to my dad. I know that voice anywhere! SQUEEEEE, "Be careful."
I just died a little on the inside.
"Was that Spiderman," JJ's voice rang through the speaker, "That no good…"
It was commonly known, Jonah was completely anti-superhero. He was just a jerk. Only jerks could possibly hate Spiderman.
After a few minutes of cruising around, I began to hear voices. Hearing voices was usually considered a bad thing, but they weren't in my head, which was a good sign. Unless they were… how could you tell if a voice is in your head or not…
Focus!
Voices!
Spiderman!
"Doctor Octopus, everything's going as planned!" a strange male voice announced. Hobgoblin? It sounded like he was going through puberty, and had a sore throat, and was pinching his nose to make it all nasally. All together not a pleasant sound.
"Excellent! And with my anti-gravity cannon, even Spiderman won't be able to stop me!" boomed a familiar one. That was without a doubt Doctor Octopus.
"You mean stop us," That had to be the Scream, the only female member. Poor girl. I can just imagine it.
"I'm going to go blow up a building!"
"No Scream, it's not safe for a girl your age to be out this late!"
I honestly pity her.
"Yes, of course," he hurriedly replied, but he didn't really seem to care. Oh Doc Oc, you egotistical jerk. Well, it wasn't really his fault… with the claws and… off topic again! I have to work on that…
"Hey, what's going on?" JJ yelled, his voice carrying through the speaker with the force of twenty dancing hippopotamuses.
Crap.
"What was that?" Hobgoblin cried, his voice just as annoying as previously mentioned. He should be a teacher. Because… annoying voices… teachers…there was something there, I swear! The SCOOP must have gone into manual, because it got a lot faster in the opposite direction. I'm not quite certain what it means exactly to go into manual, but it sounded right. It felt a lot like we were running away. New York Reporters! The fearless! The bold! The… is that a super villain? RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm honestly ashamed.
"Intruders!" Electro sniveled. Yes, he actually sniveled. I thought Hobgoblin had the world's most annoying voice, but I was wrong. It doesn't happen often. Tell your friends.
"If you think you're getting out of here," he sniggered, "You're in for a SHOCK!" Did he really just go there? I can now understand why Spiderman is constantly trying to kill him or whatever. He honest to god deserved it.
It would have been scarier without the horrible puns. I was busy fixating on this, while the SCOOP began shaking erratically and smoking. Oh! In for a shock! He was… electrocuting… oh. I can't tell if that makes it okay or not. We suddenly lurched backward and the shaking stopped. While the interior had started heating to a temperature not suitable for human flesh, my gratefulness for the experience ending was dulled by my body being tossed around like a rag doll. Trust me, trunks? Don't do it. Resist! Say no! The SCOOP swiveled again and we were speeding away. Brilliant.
"Out of the way!" Doc Oc growled, "They're mine!"
Not good not good not good not good!
On my not-good meter, they're mine falls right between "Take care of them" and "Kill them". In other words, pretty not good.
"Stop them!" he yelled. We got away? We got away! Run like the wind you cowardly reporters you!
"So much for being careful," Spiderman smirked, "Just get back to the Bugle and… uh oh," Spiderman equals squee. Spiderman TWICE equals SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Spiderman twice AND fighting something AND trying to save YOUR life equals oh-my-holy-mega –SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ingham!
Something growled and it sounded like a fight was going on. I was terrified but I really wanted to see! Come on guys. Come on. Spiderman. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT?
S
P
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SPIDERMAN. Sure I have no concern for my wellbeing, but SPIDERMAN. Trust me, that makes it okay. It just does.
"Don't leave now!" Doc Oc grinned. I didn't see him grin per say, but sometimes ya just know, "Things are just starting to heat up!" NO! NOT. THE. FRICK. FRACKING. PUNS. NOO!
Then came the screams. And the heat. Oh. Yeah. Heat up… because… the… yeah. The climbing temperature didn't last though, and I hope that was due to Spiderman. He was really good at the, you know, saving people thing. It's sorta what he does.
"Trick or treat, smell my feet, time to blow you off the street!" Hobgoblin cackled.
That was the worst by far. A soft thump echoed through the SCOOP. As I puzzled over said small thumps origins, everything exploded. Quite literally. Things were exploding. Screams accompanied the blasts as they mercilessly shattered the silence, ricocheting around my skull for a solid minute. Everything sounded weirdly fuzzy, and it took me a second to realize the screams had ceased and all was silent.
