Chapter 2

Kirk sat up in bed trying to forget the dream he's had a few nights ago. He sighed. The last few evenings had been hell. He had dreamed of his brother Sam. Sam and his wife had died on the Deneva Colony. The Enterprise had gotten there too late to save them. Sam was dead when they arrived. Sam's wife had died in agony a few hours later. Their son Peter had barely survived. Kirk shut his eyes trying to erase the look on Peter's face when he'd been told of his parent's death. Kirk had felt guilty. Perhaps, if he'd pushed the Enterprise a little harder…He let his thoughts trail off. Kirk knew he had done his best; however, it didn't stop the guilt from eating him up. It was that damn dream that was bringing all this to the surface again. Kirk curled up in a fetal position as he tried to fight the waves of nausea that assailed him. He had just about drifted off to sleep when his door buzzer sounded.

"Come," Kirk snapped. It was probably Bones with some good old country doctor advice.

As the door swished open, Kirk could see Lieutenant Nivka's silhouette as she hesitatingly stood at the entrance of Kirk's cabin. "Hello, Captain I just thought I'd return the book you loaned me last week, it was very good and I enjoyed reading a hardcopy. There is nothing like the feel of a book in one's hands."

Kirk self-consciously ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "Well, thank you Lieutenant, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Lieutenant Nivka fidgeted towards the doorway. "Sorry to trouble you, Captain. I'll go and let you get your rest now."

Kirk took her arm. "No, please don't leave," he pleaded.

Lieutenant Nivka noticed that Kirk's hands were shaking. Instinctively she reached out to steady them. Captain, you should really go to sick-bay."

Kirk shook his head. "I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well, that's all. I keep having troubling dreams." Kirk smiled looked off in the distance and laughed. "I must be exhausted to lay my problems off on you like that. You must think your Captain is crazy."

Lieutenant Nivka stared back at Kirk, her blue eyes held a sad faraway look. "Captain, it's okay. Just because you're the Captain doesn't mean you don't need a rest once in a while. Just the same maybe you should talk to Doctor McCoy; your sleeplessness could be a symptom of something serious."

Kirk yawned. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Lieutenant Nivka turned and walked towards the door. "Get some rest, Captain."

Kirk didn't want to sleep for fear the dreams would come back. "Lieutenant, please don't go," he pleaded. "Pull up a chair and pretend that I'm not a star-ship Captain."

Lieutenant Nivka laughed. "A few days ago I thought you were crazy, now I'm sure of it." She studied Kirk's face intently. "I'm sorry I was cold to you. You kind of remind me of someone from my past and I guess it unnerved me. Captain, I guess you unnerve me."

Kirk gently took Lieutenant Nivka's hands in his own. "Don't ever be embarrassed because someone brings back memories of a person that is no longer in your life. After all, you remind me of someone I once knew. In fact the resemblance is uncanny."

Lieutenant Nivka sat down in Kirk's desk chair. "You remind me of Robert. He was energetic, competitive, and optimistic. I miss him. How am I like the woman you knew?"

Kirk's eyes glazed over. "Her name was Edith Keeler. She looked like you, the same violet-blue eyes, the same high cheekbones; you could be her twin sister. When I first saw you, I thought at first that she hadn't died and that by some miracle Edith had come back into my life."

For a moment they sat in silence, engulfed in their misery and loss. For the first time Lieutenant Nivka noticed that music was playing in the background. "What music is this, Captain?"

Kirk smiled. "I heard in old Chicago. It's a love song from the 1930's."

"It's very lovely. I can just see couples dancing to the music." Lieutenant Nivka smiled at the image she had created in her mind.

"Lieutenant, would you like to dance?" Kirk said as he bowed over Lieutenant's hand.

Lieutenant Nivka laughed. "Sure, why not?"

They slowly swayed to the haunting melody, savoring each other's company Kirk stopped and held Lieutenant Nivka at arm's length.

"I've haven't felt this way in a long time," Kirk whispered.

Lieutenant Nivka slid her arms around Kirk's waist. "Neither have I, Captain."

Kirk moved closer and pressed his lips against Lieutenant Nivka's ear, his warm breath tickled her ear like a butterfly, gently fluttering its wings. "Call me Jim for tonight."

Lieutenant Nivka molded her body into Kirk's embrace. "You'll always be Captain, but for tonight I'll call you Jim." She then leaned up and gingerly kissed him on the lips. Kirk met her lips and then gently his tongue found its way into her mouth. Kirk felt his nerve endings were on fire as Lieutenant Nivka's tongue hungrily sought out the inside of Kirk's mouth.

Kirk was already pulling Lieutenant Nivka into to him. He moved his hands down towards her lower back and pushed her hips closer to his pelvis. Lieutenant Nivka led Jim to the bed. She desperately clawed at his shirt to get it off. Kirk moaned as she ran her hands over his bare chest. Kirk fit his body in between her legs and then stopped. They were both panting.

"Lieutenant Nivka, we can't do this, it's not right. I'm your Captain, and it breaks every rule in the book for a Captain to sleep with a Junior Officer."

Lieutenant Nivka grabbed at Kirk's waist. "Jim, I don't care. Break all the rules and take me."

Kirk smiled and ran his hands over Lieutenant Nivka's body. "Tatiana," he breathed. Kirk felt his loneliness dissipate as he and Lieutenant Nivka gave way to their physical needs. Once spent, Kirk and Lieutenant Nivka fell asleep in each other's arms.

When Kirk woke up Lieutenant Nivka was gone. The room seemed strangely quiet, as Kirk lay in bed, listening to the sounds of his ship. He smiled. For hundreds of years captains had lain awake listening to the sounds of their ships. Kirk was proud to be one of them. Suddenly an evil presence invaded Kirk's sense of security. "Who or what are you?" He whispered aloud in the empty room. There was no answer. With a quick circular motion Kirk curled up in the corner of his bed. His muscles tightened in fear. "I am going insane, and there's nothing I can do about it." Kirk thought as he shivered under the blankets.