Elements
By Final Fantasy Princess
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura.
Part II of III
Silver
What brought her to me I do not know. She was like a priceless object that shouldn't be touched with the dirty hands I have. Her whole aura warmed my heart so much that I would cry when I wasn't basked in its presence. But I couldn't have her. I shouldn't have her. I was filthy, in no condition to touch something so pure, so rich.
I love her so much.
I didn't know what to do sometimes. I try to control myself but when she's so close, I lose myself. I lose control of my treacherous body and I touch her. I stain her. I still can't believe she chose to be a friend to a guy like me.
Something must be wrong with her. I met her when I was a kid, when I had no one. She was there in the same sandbox with her friends. She welcomed me with her tender smile and her emerald eyes twinkled brightly as she took my hand in hers.
Ever since then I stayed by her side. I watched my heart get torn in two when she first started dating. Then I silently rejoiced, being the cruel, jealous person that I am, when she broke up with the bastard. I still couldn't understand to this day how a guy could cheat on someone like her.
I had beaten him up the next day when I found out. And I made sure she never found out.
She was too kindhearted. She would've forgiven an asshole if he hit her and said it was a mistake. That's why I'm still here. That's why I'm still watching over her. I have to make sure she gets the best. I have to make sure that the guy she marries one day will treat her like a queen, the way she deserves to be treated.
If it wasn't for that, I would've left. I would've left so long ago because I don't deserve to be around her. I don't deserve to be in her presence. I am her bodyguard. I am the guy who will protect her until her true knight shows up.
"Syao, can I stay with you tonight?"
I just failed as a bodyguard moments ago.
I kissed her. I couldn't help it. She had looked at me with a teary face and I couldn't ask why. I sort of knew why. Somewhere along the way, she fell for me. I think she did. She gave me those "looks". I knew her since we were very young. Of course I could read her eyes. They betrayed everything to me. But I couldn't accept her feelings. She was wrong for falling for a guy like me. I was a piece of shit. I had to keep my distance.
But I failed.
I had to heal whatever damage I had caused to her. And she was so close. She was in my lap. She was rubbing her face against my neck. She was turning me on. She was making me wrap her closer to myself.
I lost it.
I inhaled her cherry blossom scent, which came from her body wash. My lips were already brushing her across her neck before I knew it. I nibbled playfully on her ear. Then she pulled back and looked at me with those smoldering emeralds. I leaned forward and felt her lips upon my own. She tasted so sweet, so…
Sakura.
I had pulled her so close against me that I could feel her chest squished against my own. She moaned when our tongues clashed. I was about to take more advantage when I realized what I was doing.
I was her bodyguard! Not her knight! This was all wrong. What was the matter with me! I pulled back from her and breathed in the cool air. She looked flushed and her lips were swollen, due to me. I backed up
I smiled.
I couldn't let her know what was going on in my head. I couldn't let her know that we could never be because I was not enough for her. I was pathetic. She was a goddess and I was a mere servant. It was wrong. I could never let this be.
Now we're back to the present. She's looking at me pitifully, her arms wrapped around herself. It was a bit cold in our apartment today and she wasn't wearing a sweater. I felt bad. I had turned her down after I kissed her.
"I wanted to do that for so long. And I have to say, you taste good."
What kind of answer was that? I had just confessed that I wanted her. I was giving her a glimmer of hope. Or was I confusing her more? I didn't know. I didn't ask. I just left like a coward and retreated to my room. I hoped I wouldn't encounter her until tomorrow night since I worked in the morning.
No such luck.
I grinned and sat up. She took that as acceptance and rushed into my covers. I wrapped my arms around her and she shivered. I felt the jolt of electricity run through me too when I touched her but I restrained the quiver that passes through me. Then she'll know too. She'll know that I love her more than life itself. And she wouldn't understand why I'm doing this. She wouldn't understand that I'm not enough for her. Because like I said, she's too forgiving.
"Good night, Syao."
I looked down and smiled warmly. She blushed and looked away. Wrapped around her delicate neck was a chain I gave her when we were about seven. I had saved my allowance for weeks to buy her a birthday gift. My allowance was a hefty sum and I finally was able to afford a beautiful white-gold chain that had a pure silver cherry blossom emblem on it.
It suited her so well when I first saw it.
She was thrilled when I gave her the gift and then made me promise to never buy her such an expensive gift again. Because my friendship was enough for her, she said. She's insane. She was always insane. Who would want a friend like me in the first place? I'm hurting her on purpose by flirting with other girls. I know her feelings for me and I try to ignore them.
She buried her head in my neck again, waking me up from my thoughts. I laid back down and held her closer. She was too fragile. Tomoyo told me to be careful with her too. She looked at me with those eyes, knowing that I knew how Sakura felt for me. She wanted to throttle me for ignoring Sakura in that way.
No one understood why.
I was a reject from the Li Clan. I was of tainted blood. My mother's husband didn't create me. Another bastard did.
I was an outcast throughout life. People would whisper about me. My mother refused to abort me because it wasn't my fault. But it felt that way. My mother's husband treated me as any father should. He didn't blame me either. The rest of them did. Especially when my mother's husband shoved me out of the way of a car that was out to kill me.
They killed him instead.
I loved him as a father.
Sakura soon accepted me afterwards. She was the one I depended on first. She was never judgmental. I would always cherish our time together. That started to change when her friends, those that didn't accept me, told me that she just pitied me.
That hurt the most.
I didn't really believe them… well I tried not to. They always teased me and bothered me and Sakura would send them away. She looked at me comforting and asked me if I was okay. I couldn't leave her since then. I had to protect her too. I had to protect her and find the one she would cherish the most.
But that wasn't me.
That could never be me.
I heard her murmur in her sleep and I smiled a bit. I kissed her head and relished in her warmth. I stared at the silver cherry blossom emblem. She would never notice the tiniest markings on the corner of the petal. I made sure it was made so small that no one could see it without a microscope.
It said: 'I'll always love you, Ying Fa.'
No, she would never know. But she would never take it off either. She'd always refuse. No matter what other beautiful necklaces people would give her. She'd never take it off. She'll wear other necklaces with it. My necklace for her was never taken off.
So in a way, she'll always carry my love for her.
My heart with her.
The silver cherry blossom was my heart.
Silver.
Forever.
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A/N: Got inspiration to write part II. Maybe in a week or two, III will be out. Review please. Ciao!
