'because it's rupert, my bestest buddy in the whole whole world! we've been friends since we were so small!'

Answer Rupert.

You answer Rupert on your communication application.

RG began chatting with VA

RG: hey vik how are you

VA: i'm alright! how are you?

RG: yeah doing well

RG: i still havent got anything for rons birthday yet

VA: have you not? well i'm sure she won't mind. she doesn't really like birthday's anyway.

RG: yeah youre probably right

RG: did you get her anything

VA: well, duh :p i'm boss with birthday presents!

RG: that you are

VA: thanks!

RG: so what did you get her

VA: i found a torrented copy of the this game called sburb! i thought we could all play it together!

RG: oh

VA: what?

RG: i dont know if i really want to play

VA: ?

RG: personally i dont think any of us should play it

VA: why?

RG: i just have a bad feeling about it

VA: do you know anything about it?

RG: not really

RG: i just dont think anyone should play it

RG: you should try and get someone to destroy all the copies

VA: why are you that against it? it's just a game.

RG: its hard to explain i wouldnt expect you to understand

VA: well bluh then :p

RG: bluh back to you too

RG: its up to you what you do or not im just giving my two cents

VA: yeah, yeah i know. i take your two cents into consideration and place it in the wallet of bluh's :p

RG: yeah, yeah whatever

VA: the wallet of bluuuuuuuh's!

RG: alright I get it

VA: the wallET OF BLUUUUUUUUUH'S!

RG: please stop

VA: *dramatic background music involving a string quartet and a tuba begins playing*

RG: please stop

VA: THE

RG: stop

VA: WALLET

RG: im begging you

VA: OF

RG: come on

VA: ...

RG: what

VA: ...

RG: what are you doing

VA: ...

RG: bluhs

VA: ...

RG: i know what youre gonna say

VA: ...

RG: vik

VA: ...

RG: this is getting ridiculous now

VA: bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbllllllllll

RG: bluhs

VA: llllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuu

RG: bluhs bluhs bluhs

VA: uuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUU

RG: please

VA: UUUUUUUUUUHHHH

RG: are you done

VA: HHHHHHHSSSSSSSSS!

RG: you missed an apostrophe

VA: well you never use apostrophe's.

RG: just because i dont use them doesnt mean i dont know what they are

VA: (wallet of bluh's)

RG: ugh

VA: alright, well i'm going to go wish ron a happy birthday and give her my present.

RG: regardless of what I told you

VA: i told you where your suggestion went. it's pending consideration.

RG: fair enough

RG: chat later

RG: give ron my regards

VA: okaaaaay

VA, talk to RS

After having a lengthy discussion regarding the abstract concept of the Wallet of Bluh's, you go and talk to your very good friend RS. It is her seventeenth birthday today, and as was already mentioned: You have a present for her.

VA begins a yabber with RS

VA: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

RS: Oh, thank you, Viktoria!

VA: hehe, call me vikkie! it's much easier to type...

RS: I'm well aware of that fact, but I'd rather call you by your full name, rather than a colloquial nickname. Learning English was hard enough for me without adding in extra words into the proverbial fray.

VA: okay. well, it was just a suggestion, you can put it in your wallet of bluh's if you so wish :p

RS: I don't think I am fully aware of this 'Wallet of Bluh's' of which you speak.

VA: it's just an in joke between me and rg :p

RS: Oh I see. So I would not understand regardless, then!

VA: no you would not :3

RS: Thank you very much for my birthday congratulations, but you messaged a little early in the morning!

VA: oh yeah! i'm sorry i forgot of the time difference :(

RS: It's no trouble at all! I'm sure what I said came out completely the wrong way than how I intended. I'm terribly sorry.

VA: oh! were you already awake?

RS: Yes I've been awake for about a half hour now! I had a wonderful dream.

VA: was it about prospit?

RS: Yes it was! My tower was close to Skaia, so I could see visions in the clouds!

VA: ooooooh! what did they say to you?

RS: Oh all kinds of exciting things! They were all really symbolic stuff, so I didn't really understand them. You were there, though! And you were dressed up in this beautiful garb.

VA: what was i doing?

RS: Flying! Without wings!

VA: that sounds so cool!

RS: You didn't look like you were having fun, however.

VA: i didn't?

RS: No. You looked like you were crying, and your mouth was wide open, like you were screaming!

VA: oh. that doesn't sound good. are the clouds on skaia always right?

RS: Well I don't usually understand them, so I can't always be sure.

VA: oh. okay. well the new outfit you mentioned and the flying sounds fun, but i don't really want to be crying and that...

RS: Well I doubt it will come true. I mean, people can't fly!

VA: that's true :3 but i have something for you!

RS: What is it?

VA: i got this copy of this game that i thought we could play together!

RS: Is the game called Sburb?

VA: yes! how did you know that?!

RS: I saw it in the clouds on Skaia!

VA: oh. so those damn clouds spoiled the surprise! :p

RS: Oh no! Don't think of it like that!

VA: i'm only joking! there was a part of me that sort of knew you'd know.

RS: Oh! Oh okay. So, how are you gonna give me a copy of Sburb?

VA: i'm probably gonna email it to you. so make sure you check your emails!

RS: Okay! I'll go check them now.

VA, do a switch around!

You cease messaging with RS, and start attaching one of your copies of the Sburb Torrent in an email to RS. It's going to take a long time to render, and the email will probably take even longer to get over to RS!

So you do a swiTCH AROUND!

VA, be RS

You are now the aforementioned RS, standing in your bedroom.

Enter name for RS

'Ron Smellypants'

Well that's wrong, and it's the completely wrong syntax to boot.

Try again.

Ronnie Selvaggio.

That's better.

Your name is Ronnie Selvaggio. As your name may imply: You are Italian. You live with your father in Rome; you have a spectacular view of the coliseum from your window.

On one side of your room is your bed, a simple single bed, a wardrobe built into the wall, and a set of shelves holding some of your most prized books (a large collection being conspiracy theories). On the other side is your expansive collection of video games, games consoles, and your super high tech gaming computer. You love games.

Ronnie, play a game while you wait for VA to finish her upload

You decide to have at at one of your newest games – so new in fact that it is still in it's original packaging! You carefully break the seal of the thin, transparent, plastic wrapping, and slide the game case out of it's prison.

Your cousin bought this today for your birthday, and you thought it's predecessor was absolutely fantastic, you hope that it doesn't fall victim to the fabled SEQUELITIS.

Tell us what the game is! You're being very secretive

'Oh no!' You exasperate with a light shock and horror to your tone. You sincerely apologise, as you did not intend to be so secretive over such a ludicrous matter.

No need to apologise! We are merely curious.

You sit down on your bed and open up the case to expose the disc of the long awaited: KITTY PRINCESS ATTACK SQUAD 2!

Examine the instruction manual.

You open the first page of the instruction manual of KPAS 2, noticing that the controls and layout of the game seem exactly the same.

This does not bother you, as the gameplay of KPAS were highly exonerated for being flawless, and why change something that works?

Put game in appropriate system.

This is a silly thought. Viktoria is sending you another new game to play with her, so why get invested in something else if you know you're going to play that?

Your computer is bleeping!

Why yes! Yes it is. Someone is messaging you on your client. You wonder who it could be?

Answer.

HW rozpoczęła powiadamianie RS

HW: heeeeeeyy guuuuuurlll

RS: Oh, hello! I see your mockery of the English language is as alive as always!

HW: ohhhhhh shoooooosssshhhhhh, miss fussypants

RS: Oh my. Am I to be formally named as such, now?

HW: yus indeed! as princess of the land i formally decree that u r officially dub thee miss fussypants!

RS: Okay. I accept the name with much glee, and celebrate your presence as princess!

HW: y thank u, young squire! but i am here 2 tell u something

RS: What is it?

HW: i am 2 wish u, miss fussypants...

RS: I am intrigued!

HW: HAPPY BUFFDEH!

RS: What is a buffdeh?

HW: oh. i forgot english is ur second language

RS: Isn't it your second language as well?

HW: shooooooossshhhhh

RS: Thank you very much for the birthday elations!

HW: it is noooooo problem ma ladeh!

HW: do u have any plans today?

RS: Well Viktoria is in the process of sending me a copy of this new game that has come out recently!

HW: oooooooohhh! what's the game called?!

RS: Sburb.

HW: I'M GONNA ASK VIK IF SHE WILL GIMME A COPEH!

HW: WAIT HERE!

RS: Okay!

HW: SHE SAID I CAN PLAY HOLY FUCK!

RS: Oh that's good!

HW: heheeeee u knew all of us were going 2 play anyway, didn't yaaa?

RS: I must admit, I did see from Skaia a while back that all four of us will play.

HW: 4? so even rg will play?

RS: Yes, indeed! But I don't know how much of a good time we will have yet.

HW: how do u mean?

RS: Well, I saw from a cloud recently that Viktoria was flying in some fantastic garb, but she was crying.

HW: errrrr nerrrr... why was she crying?

RS: I don't know. The clouds didn't tell me anything else.

HW: well i hope that never happens! i don't want vik being all sad and stuff

RS: Oh!

HW: whaaaaat?!

RS: I've received the email from Viktoria! It has the copy of Sburb in it!

RS: I'm going to have to talk with her now so I can know what to do. Thank you so much for the birthday elations, I will talk to you later!

Prepare to install game by discussing what to do with Viktoria.

Though you do very much enjoy HW's company, you do shudder every time she responds with a 'u', instead of 'you'. You loath bad Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling (or GPS, as you so ingeniously coined).

But enough of your obsessions! You need to talk with Viktoria in order to know what to do with the Sburb torrent you received from her-

BUT YOU ARE RUDELY INTERRUPTED BY A SUDDEN PERSPECTIVE CHANGE!