Part II

Tell me all the things you want to but don't know how to say.
The lessons in life are hard to learn,
Trust is something you have already earned.

It was four weeks later, and JJ couldn't take it anymore.

At three in the morning, she stumbled out of her car and up to front porch of Hotch's house. Reid had come by, yet again, and she'd spent the entire time listening to him talk about Emily in the past tense, and the entire time all she could feel was this overwhelming, gnawing pain of guilt eating her from the inside.

Eventually, she didn't know when, but, eventually, he would find out…and how would he look at her then?

She wasn't sure that she could deal with the pain, so she turned to the only person who could understand…Hotch.

JJ was about to start banging on the door, when it occurred to her that his son, Jack, might be home with him.

She gently tapped against the front door and silently prayed that he would be awake…but why would he be awake at three in the morning? He wasn't the one who had to deal with Reid almost every single night, keeping her in a state of constant guilt and torture.

To her shock, it opened, revealing her boss in a gray t-shirt that hugged his upper body and plain blue jeans that looked as though they were well worn.

"JJ? What are you doing here?"

She froze for a moment, and then shrugged her shoulders slightly, a sheepish look appearing on her face. "I needed someone to talk to?"

He simply nodded and opened the door wider, letting her into his small but pleasant home.

She hugged her shoulders as she walked through the door, very much aware of how close Hotch was…and how desperately she felt that she needed a hug at that point. But Hotch wasn't the hugging type, so she withheld the impulse.

JJ walked over to the first chair that she could find and dropped herself into it, looking down at the floor.

She didn't know how to bring the subject up, but she knew that she needed to talk about it. It was eating her up inside.

Hotch could sense her distress and walked over to where she sat in his living room and sat down across from her, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees

He looked at her lowered head and he knew, without even having to ask, that it had something to do with Prentiss's "death". Whatever was going on, it was something that was eating her up inside, and he felt the sudden urge to hug her.

Under normal circumstances he wouldn't…but these weren't normal circumstances.

He slowly moved over to the couch where she was sitting and sat next to her on her right side, carefully sliding his left arm around her shoulders.

She tensed for a brief moment, as though unsure of what he was doing, but a small tug from his hand had her suddenly collapsing into his chest, crying uncontrollably.

Hotch held her as she let out her tears, knowing that she would talk when she needed to and only then.

The secret that they held was hurting both of them, but he had a feeling that something else was making it worse, and whatever it was he was going to get to the bottom of it and do everything he could to fix it. She didn't deserve this pain.

After a few minutes, she slowly pulled back, instead placing her head on his shoulder after he had dropped his arm.

She reached down to where his hand was on the couch and gripped it tightly with her own.

"Do you mind…?"

He could hear the uncertainty in her tone, and he simply shook his head. "No, I don't mind."

He heard her audibly swallow, and then she finally told him what had brought her to his doorstep at that particular time of night.

"Reid isn't…" She paused, then continued. "Reid isn't taking Emily's…Emily's "death" well."

JJ paused yet again, and he had a sudden insight as to what might be happening, but then she pushed forward and explained.

"He's been coming to me almost every night for the past four weeks…telling me how he feels, crying on my shoulder…and the entire time all I can think of is how he's going to hate me when she…if she comes back…"

She let her voice drift, and Hotch let out a deep sigh.

Of course Reid would go to JJ…she was like an older sister to him, a mother, even. He trusted her more than anyone.

Hotch knew that keeping the truth from him must be tearing her up inside as it was, and then for Reid to be coming to her…it made it worse.

He tightened his grip on her hand, gently squeezing her fingers, trying to convey through the small action that he understood what she going through, that he was there for her. That he supported her. He hoped that she got the message.

Her head was a warm weight on his shoulder and it felt…right.

He hadn't been this comfortable with a woman since…actually, he didn't think he'd ever felt so comfortable in his life.

JJ shifted her head and he looked over to see what she was doing…

…and, suddenly, their lips were a breath away from touching.


Part 2/?