Right, so, remember when I said this was a one shot? I lied. I forgot that writing fanfiction could be just as addictive as reading it. I'm not sure really where I'm going with this to be honest. I'd love to know how things develop with Nick and Lirael and how Nick comes into his own in the Old Kingdom, though really I'm not entirely sure how the heck it can happen, which I suppose is appropriate being that they're not my books. Anyway, if you want a disclaimer re-read the last part of the previous sentence and enjoy the fic!
Lirael's and Sabriel's return to Belisaere was fast and without any turbulance but still wearying. Lirael had found that even if she wasn't the one to whistle marks for a paperwing, she still could not quite let herself get comfortable enough to sleep in one, regardless of how tired she was. It reminded her of the first time she'd seen her sister.
Of course, she hadn't known she was her older sister then. Then she had only known her as the Abhorsen Sabriel, wife to the King Touchstone.
"No faith in the driver," she remembered hearing Sabriel saying about Touchstone's discomfort in paperwings. So when Sabriel shouted over her shoulder "we should be there soon without any hitch" Lirael shouted back loud enough to be heard, "I have faith in you." Sabriel turned back for just the smallest of moments to give a brief smile.
Lirael thought about the smiles Sabriel and Touchstone had shared that day, a secret sort of joke shared between the two of them. They'd seemed so warm together. So comfortable. She stopped herself before wondering if there was something so tangible between her and Nick. Nick seemed to be all her thoughts wanted to gravitate towards but Lirael was simply too tired to let herself ponder the exact intentions of Nicholas Sayre or what the future might hold for the both of them.
The afternoon was waning by the time they reached Belisaere, and Lirael was glad that it meant she would get a bath and some sleep followed most likely by a good hot dinner. Though she was hungry, she was even more tired and dirty and after her bath and changing into a fresh shift she didn't even have the energy to nibble on the small plate of bread and cheese the sendings had brought her.
She awoke much later than she'd intended, and she presumed she'd missed dinner. She was ravenous though and Sam had introduced her to some of the friendliest cooks in the castle. She hoped that perhaps one might be persuaded to allow her a snack. The sendings had whisked her bedside plate away not long after she'd drifted off.
She was somewhat surprised to find everyone still dinning.
"Aunt Lirael!" Ellimere called to her. "Oh good you're awake! We've only just started."
Lirael came forward and took her seat next to Sameth, all the while carefully avoiding Nick's gaze. She found herself suddenly even more shy in his presence, though how that could be she couldn't fathom.
"We decided to have a later meal," Touchstone explained as she sat.
"Nice of you to wait until some of us had a chance to rest," Sabriel said.
"We weren't sure if we should wake you," Nick began, awkwardly.
"And then I told them I could still hear you snoring from my workshop so it'd probably be best to let you sleep," Sameth cut him off.
Lirael's jaw dropped, "You - you could?"
Everyone laughed and at first Lirael thought they were laughing at how loudly she snored. But surely someone would have mention it to her by now? Until she was twelve she'd slept in a dormitory in the Clayr's glacier and for one anxiety-riddled moment she wondered if perhaps no one had mentioned it to her because she'd already had enough to be embarrassed about as a sightless Clayr.
It was Nick who came to her rescue, "We couldn't really," he said quietly.
Sabriel followed suit. "No, but we did think it best to let you sleep. You looked awful when we got back."
"Oh," was all Lirael could say. After a pregnant pause she finally finished with, "thanks." She tried hard to keep her gaze away from Nick but couldn't resist sneaking glances until he caught her glance and their eyes met. Momentarily mortified, though she couldn't think why, Lirael promised herself she wouldn't look at him again until the meal was over, breaking the self-made pact only twice when Sam began explaining how his Charter Magic lessons with Nick were going, which, she had reasoned to herself, was fine, since everyone else's attention was also fixed on Nick.
"How is your magical education going?" Sabriel enquired.
Nick shifted awkwardly. "It's difficult."
"Don't listen to him," Sam interjected. "Used to being top in everything, he is. Can't take it if he doesn't get everything right on the first try. Even though I try to tell him I've never known anyone to pick up on everything so quickly."
"I'm still not very good," Nick protested, seeming embarrassed. "I'd be useless in any fight or anything."
"Yeah but you have most beginner things down already. Nick, that usually takes years, if not at least months. Not weeks, like with you," Sam insisted.
"I think a demonstration of your learning is in order," Touchstone spoke up. "Show us something you've learned, Nicholas."
Nick looked decidedly uncomfortable at that and Lirael found herself feeling sorry for him. It was never easy being put so on the spot, that she knew.
At last however, it was clear Nick was not going to be leaving the table without at least a minor demonstration of his to date proficiency, so he yielded, holding up the fork he had just used.
Charter marks flowed from his long fingers to the utensil and Lirael recognized them as simple marks for color. The fork began to flash different colors, first red, then purple until it became a consistently changing rainbow. After a few moments Nick seemed to have deemed his demonstration complete and performed the marks to allow the fork to take on it's original color. For a moment, the fork was normal, but then it seemed to vibrate in his hands. Then, before Lirael realized it, the fork was gone, shriveled up into ash which became smoke and blew away.
It was Touchstone who first broke the silence that ensued. "I won't say that result isn't strange, but it IS common for beginners to make mistakes. The important thing is, you obviously understand the concept, otherwise the fork would not have changed to begin with. And as Sam said, it does appear you are understanding more quickly than most."
Nick nodded, still staring resolutely at the spot where the fork had disappeared and muttered a low, "Thank you,sir," in response.
Dinner ended quickly after that, everyone seemingly anxious to dissipate after Nick's charter fiasco, Sameth being the last to leave, cuffing his old school friend on the shoulder and promising that he'd help him go over the charter marks again the next morning. After agreeing to Ellimere's request that she practice tennis a little more with her the next day, Lirael couldn't help peeking into the dining hall again from the corridor where she stood.
Sure enough, Nick still sat at the table, looking dejected and confused, idly staring down and tugging at one of the buttons on his shirt.
Lirael waivered for a moment and then finally decided to enter the hall.
He looked up as she entered, returning her gaze with one she was certain must have mirrored her own, a complex, yet hopeful sort of smiling frown, at once confused and frightened, delighted and deflated.
She stopped halfway to the table. She wasn't certain she trusted herself to go further.
She took a breath, reminding herself she had nothing to be frightened of now the Nick was no longer an avatar for the destroyer. "It isn't all bad," she said. "Just because you're the first person any of us have known to learn charter magic the way you do, doesn't mean you are the first person to learn it the way you do. And even if you are, that doesn't mean you're wrong. Just... different." She spoke the last two words with a rueful sort of knowing, smiling slightly to herself. She took a breath and moved closer again, this time coming to stop at the seat across from him, resting her hands on the high back of the chair.
Nick sighed, but he seemed less dejected as he replied, "I know. It's just, I can't figure WHY it keeps happening. Everything I used to care about seemed so exact. But this... " he shrugged, "It isn't. My father said that's why he always loved painting. You didn't have to be exact, not with the image he said. But with the emotion." Lirael didn't say anything and he went on. "And it's funny now, but the more I look at it now, the less there was explained by all my science and mathematics. It wasn't exact anyways, not always. I suppose this is what it means to grow up. Things you always thought were so you find aren't always, and things you never dreamed you'd think become your new mottos."
Lirael didn't know what to say to that. Though she felt that in a way his words ran true for her as well. She was a Clayr, but would never See the future, only the past.
Nick continued, "It makes me think what sort of horrid idiot I must have been to overlook so much during that business of the hemispheres. And how horrid you must think me."
"What do you mean?"
"There I was going on and on about how there was nothing wrong with the Dead and here you fight them every day. I was an arrogant fool to think I would know better than someone who had lived here their whole life. Someone who's pledged to keep her country safe from the Dead no less."
"You didn't know really. You couldn't have known."
He looked up at her, a challenging sort of questioning glance. She faltered. "Well - yes, I suppose you could have listened to how many people told you otherwise, but I can understand how easy it is to get so wrapped up in the way you see things because of where you're from, who you are."
"What do you mean?"
"I - well, you know I was a daughter of the Clayr and that the Clayr are known as Seers. You even know that I did not inherit that gift. But what you probably didn't know was how.." her voiced dissolved into a whisper, she still couldn't bear to speak it more loudly, "how devastated I was when I first had to accept that I would never have the Sight. For so long, it was all that mattered to me. So even though when I found out I realized I would have a new family and a new calling as Abhorsen, I still - I still felt somewhat sad. Almost as though I'd lost something. Which was of course ridiculous, since I never had the sight in the first place."
"I'm sorry," Nick said, and he sounded sorry. Against her will, Lirael found herself retreating behind her curtain of hair, feeling vulnerable after having divulged so personal an experience.
"Don't be," she said before she could stop herself. "I'm not." she was surprised to feel the truth in the last two words.
He smiled and stood, crossing around the table to where she stood. "Good," he said taking her hand. "Because I think you're pretty terrific, Sight or no."
Lirael blushed and looked down. "Thanks," she whispered.
He took a deep breath and said, "I hope you haven't thought me too forward, because of our last - "
She cut him off before he could finish, "No. I - I didn't." She blushed even harder.
He blushed as well. "Oh. Um - good then."
"Good?"
"Well -" he grinned, still blushing. "I would be very glad to kiss you again."
Review please!
