a/n: Thank you everyone that sent a review or put the story on alert. That tells me there's some interest in yet another one of my crazy ideas, so for you all, here's chapter two. Major angst for everyone, so enjoy!
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Hospital waiting rooms are the seventh circle of Hell, Dean thought. He should know too. This sorry ass medical center was easily one of the worst he'd ever been in. Of course his frantic mood probably contributed to his low opinion. Why wouldn't anyone tell him what's going on?
A fresh cup of coffee emerged in front of him, snapping him out of his rising desire to bust this place up. He reached out without question and accepted it, offering Ruby a quick look of thanks before going on with his anxiousness.
Ruby cautiously stepped over to the seat next to Dean and sank down into it. She didn't know what to say. Offering comfort wasn't exactly in her nature, and even if it was, Dean would never want to hear it.
"You find out anything?" Dean asked, enough apprehension hanging in that question where wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.
Ruby shook her head. "I couldn't get close. He was surrounded by doctors and nurses, all sorts of tubes and wires sticking out of him, it was-" She stopped, when she saw Dean cringe at the mental picture.
Dean swiped his hand slowly over his face in an attempt to grasp the reality of the situation. "What happened back there Ruby?"
"You don't remember?"
"All I remember is everything almost going dark and then black smoke came out of the person choking me. He went down and fell next to Sam who was, you know." Dean turned his head away, fighting back his rush of emotion. He couldn't lose it right now, not when Sam was still fighting. He took in a deep breath and stood up, walking around to help his tattered frame of mind. "So how did that happen to Sam?"
"The other guy attacked me. Sam went to help me first, but then saw you were in worse trouble and started the exorcism on the demon attacking you. The other guy got off me and before I could get up hit Sam in the back of the head with your crowbar. Sam somehow managed to finish the job before collapsing."
Dean walked around some more, grabbing his temples to help dull the pain forming in his head. The whole thing still didn't make sense. "How did those demons get the jump on us? We were supposed to be catching them by surprise." Dean's tone turned to mistrust, for those were Ruby's words when they were in the diner before the hunt.
"What are you asking Dean? You think I set you guys up? You think I wanted this to happen to Sam?" Ruby scowled but held back her anger over the accusation, trying hard to be patient with Dean.
"Whatever," Dean said, not convinced but he had no reason to doubt her right now. After all, she did end up killing the demon that got Sam.
Ruby gave him a sour stare, and moved to a separate corner of the room to give Dean some breathing space. She needed it herself. Something was too unfamiliar to her in this waiting room. It was almost like she was feeling something. Sadness? Helplessness? Sorrow? Either way, she didn't like it. Considering Sam was unresponsive when they got there and hadn't been revived, nothing about this was easing her mind.
Dean had nothing but bad feelings about this, but he couldn't let himself think the worst. Sam had been through plenty of scrapes before, so there was no reason to think he couldn't get out of this one. He pushed out of his mind the sudden memory of Sam dead on the mattress. He couldn't think about that now. He couldn't take that again.
"Mr. Phelps?" A man in scrubs asked at the waiting room entrance. Dean didn't look up, too lost in thought and not familiar with that alias.
"Dean!" Ruby shouted. She pointed at the doctor in the doorway.
"Uh, yeah." Dean said walking over. "Sorry, I'm a little out of it."
"I understand." The doctor had that sympathetic, ready-to-break-bad-news look on his face. Dean's stomach turned sour. "Sam isn't-"
"Sam's not responsive and isn't breathing on his own. A CT scan confirmed what we feared, his brain injury is catastrophic. The strike to the back of the head was bad, but it triggered problems in other parts of the brain that exacerbated the injury."
"What?"
"A weakness of vessels in other parts of the brain indicates the trauma triggered another condition. Has he had problems with headaches or nosebleeds recently?"
Dean fired a look at Ruby, scolding her with his eyes over her part in taking Sam down that road. "No, not that I know of."
"Sam suffered an acute subdural hematoma."
"English doc."
"He's massively bleeding into his brain and the intracranial pressure has damaged his brain cells. He's currently being kept alive by respiratory and cardiac intervention. We have certain criteria that must be met over the next 24 hours to be absolutely sure, but all signs now point to brain death. Someone will meet with you shortly to go over options, but once brain death is declared, all treatments will cease."
Dean's eyes widened at the prognosis. "Are you saying you're going to pull the plug on my brother? Not give him a fighting chance?"
"There's no chance of recovery from this type of injury. I'm sorry, I know this is difficult. The counselor will be able to answer all your questions and address your concerns."
Dean wasn't taking this news well. "Where is Sam right now? I gotta see him."
"ICU. They've given him a private room so you can-" The doctor stopped when he saw Dean's eyes light up, afraid he would punch him. "It's a better setting for your final moments. Only relatives are allowed in there though." The doctor looked at Ruby, uncertain of her status since she wasn't listed on the forms.
"This is Sam's wife." Dean said, sharing a gaze of stunned devastation with Ruby.
The doctor conveyed the same sympathetic glance to Ruby, who gave him a cold stare in return. "A nurse will be along soon to take you both upstairs. I'm very sorry, and feel free to page me if you have any questions."
The doctor left and Dean sank slowly back into his chair, dropping his face into his hand. Ruby took the seat next to him. "Dean?"
Dean pulled his hand away and shook his head, wiping away the few tears that had escaped from his eyes. "Please tell me you know how to summon an angel."
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His perplexed reaction couldn't deny her statement, but he wasn't sure if he believed it either. Still, this barren wasteland was familiar.
"Don't you remember this place Sam?" Madison asked, returning to her chair. She patted the empty one beside her in hopes Sam would join her. Sam didn't accept the invitation.
Sam looked all around trying hard to jog his memory. He had been there before, but for the life of him he couldn't remember when. "I'm not sure."
"You spent a few days here the last time you died. You were just getting adjusted when you fell back to earth. That was a pretty bitching event to witness from my end, I'll tell ya."
Sam thought harder, and suddenly got dizzy as he felt more gushing from his head wound. He dropped into the empty seat, closed his eyes and waited for the spinning to pass. "What is this place?"
"Hamistagan."
Sam suddenly opened his eyes in surprise. "Purgatory?"
"Fine, call it that if you want. I like the other name better. It sounds so mystical. Purgatory sounds Catholic."
Sam inhaled and exhaled slow deep breaths, trying to center his unsteady stomach as well as his head. It's a good thing there was a seat there, for it beat falling on the hot dirt. "I'm dead?"
"Wow, I can't get nothing past you." Sam gave her a sardonic glare, letting her know he wasn't in the mood for games.
"You look like crap by the way."
Sam ignored her and tried hard to remember what happened. "Are Dean and Ruby okay?"
"You see them here? Scratch that, Ruby wouldn't be here. Her ticket is still stamped for Hell." Sam's look again demanded a straight answer. "Yes, they're fine."
A wave of relief fell over Sam. "Then why do I feel like I've done something horrible to them?"
"That's the fun of Hamistagan. You really don't remember, do you? The idea is for you to address all those negative feelings that weighed you down on earth. Seems like you have some guilt issues."
"I remember," Sam said sadly. This place was where he had to expunge all his sins. Until he did, they would swarm him like an angry mob.
"Dean can't get you out this time either. A soul can only be coughed up once. I'm afraid this time's for real."
Sam felt relief over that too. He couldn't bear the idea of Dean doing anymore time in Hell. He felt another trickle of blood go down his neck. "Why am I still injured? Shouldn't I be healed by now?"
"Not until your final destination is determined. You're a tricky case Sam. You always walked a fine line in life, so your death isn't going to be much different. Your test is going to be brutal."
"Test?"
"All souls go somewhere. It's time for judgment."
That triggered another memory. He did remember his few days here before, before Dean made the deal that brought him back to life. "I remember now. I was drifting in the afterlife."
"You didn't get very far. I think the sudden shock of dying was too much for you back then. You've gotten more accustomed to the idea now. How many times since then have you wished you were dead? Almost every day?"
Sam's heart sank over her words. "How did you know that?"
"I can read you like a book. Plus no one's the same once they go back. Let me guess, you had this hole inside that grew larger and darker. A hole that eventually filled with bitterness."
He wasn't sure what it was filled with, only that it was there. "There were some days-" A wave of extreme dizziness suddenly hit him, and Sam sank further into the chair. He remembered the fight and the sharp stab at the back of his head when he was hit from behind. He was too focused on the exorcism to notice anyone was there. "I think I need to rest."
Madison opened up her book again. "Yes, you do that. Remember though, every time you go under you wake up somewhere else. The drifting is going to be worse this time."
Sam wanted to know more about the drifting and the test he was about to face, but his consciousness was gone before he knew it.
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Ruby stopped at the end of the hall once they got out of the elevator. Dean had taken a few steps ahead of her before noticing she wasn't keeping up. He stopped and turned around, confused by her frightened look. "What?"
"I just realized I'm no use here. I'm going to look into some options."
Dean wasn't sure about her timing, but any help she could provide would be welcome. "Okay."
Ruby nodded with a nervous smile and headed in the other direction. "Ruby!" Dean shouted, stopping her. He wasn't sure how to ask the question, and stumbled getting the words out.
"There's no way the crossroads demon will ever deal with a Winchester again. You both are too much trouble."
Dean nodded, accepting she was right, especially since Sam had killed the last two and an angel gave him a "Get Out of Hell Free" card. They weren't going to do them any favors.
"Be careful," he told Ruby before she turned again and walked away.
Dean told himself to be firm, to expect to be overwhelmed, but his mental preparation wasn't enough. When entered the ICU and saw Sam, sunken in the bed, swallowed by blankets, tubes, wires, and his hair matted by electrical nodes, it was like someone punched him straight in the gut. He froze at the entrance to the room, too stunned to go forward, too guilt ridden to go back.
"Mr. Phelps?" A nurse asked from behind. "Can I get you anything?" Dean shook his head and proceeded toward Sam's bedside, where a chair was waiting for him. He glanced up at one of the monitors, noticing a mostly flat line moving with occasional blips.
"That's the EEG," the nurse explained. "It measures his brain activity."
"There doesn't seem to be much," Dean noticed.
The nurse sadly shook her head, all but confirming that the tests were a mere formality at this point. "Any movement we see is likely from the amplifier noise since we're scanning at high sensitivity." Dean solemnly took in her explanation, turning his eyes back to his pale and lifeless brother.
"I'll be outside if you need anything." She left, giving Dean that privacy that he wasn't sure he needed but was now grateful to have.
"Oh Sammy," Dean said, touching his brother's clammy arm. He winced as the remorse hit him hard and the sight of his fallen brother went glassy. He shook his head, reminding himself he had to be strong.
"We'll get you out of this somehow. Just keep fighting. Ruby's checking into things right now. It seems my soul isn't worth trading anymore, so you won't have to worry about that." His attempts at optimism resulted in a tearful surge, and he let a few sobs escape.
"You saved me you know. I want to thank you for that." Dean wanted to believe that Sam's act was heroic, but it wasn't helping his emptiness inside.
"I'm sorry for being careless. I should have had your back." He knew it was too late for apologies. They didn't help his guilt the last time and they certainly weren't going to do much good now.
Dean shot up in frustration, not at all pleased by his wimpish behavior. He clenched his fists and paced around. "No, no, there's got to be something I can do. Castiel, can you hear me!"
His outburst got a strange look from the nurse in the hall, but other than that, there was no reaction. He lowered his voice, so not to attract any more attention. "Come on Cas, I need you." After another minute of silence, his patience was shot.
Dean knew he'd already pushed his luck too far with the angels and his constant use of the "God wants me here for a reason" argument. He had to try it again though, for it was the only leverage he had. There was one way to get Castiel's attention. "Don't worry Sammy. I'll get you out of this."
He briskly left the room and charged down the hall in quick strides, ignoring the cries from the nurse of his fake name.
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Sam carefully opened his eyes, for it was especially bright. It wasn't as hot though and he appreciated the break from the heat. If there wasn't heat though, then where was he?
He shot up, finding he was flat on his back on a grassy patch. He was in the center of a beautiful garden, surrounded by loads of blooms and pristine shrubs. He blinked his eyes a few times, for he'd never seen anything this beautiful even in his dreams. The entire place had a bright white hue to it, adding a divine element to the scenery.
He stood on his feet and realized his queasiness was gone. His hand moved to the back of his head, and now his wound was reduced to a small cut. "Huh," he said, looking all around, trying to get some answers. The place was so peaceful and serene, it felt like he died and gone to…wait, is this Heaven?
"Hello, Sam," he heard from behind him. His insides churned, for he knew that voice. He whipped around and stared in disbelief.
"Jess?"
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a/n: Still interested? Thanks for reading!
