Disclaimer: …
A/N:
Voldemort: I have the computer Yay! Harry Potter stinks!
Edward: You smell like snake!
Voldemort: Oh no a vampire!
I know I'm not very good so bare with me.
Only one person reviewed :( You guys are mean. (This doesn't mean you Twilight Sparkles! You rock and get a cookie and hugs! Yay hugs!)
Meanwhile the Cullens were eating dinner. They sat around a table to eat dinner and they said Grace before they ate dinner.
"Grace," said the Cullens and then they ate. They were eating a mountain lion Esme had cooked. They also had broccoli.
"Eww broccoli." Said Edward wisely because he did not like broccoli. He only liked mountain lions and sometimes Bella.
"This broccoli tastes like crap." Said Emmett hilariously. Alice laughed because it was funny and Rosalie did not laugh because she did not like Emmett any more for some reason. (AN: Cliffie! I wonder why!) Carlisle took him away and put him in time out.
"You must eat the broccoli," said Esme. "It is good for you even though you are a vampire!"
"You are not the boss of me." Said Edward sadly and he went away in his Jeep. "I do not like being a vampire." He said, as he went away. "It is not very much fun."
But he got to drive very fast and he liked that a lot because he was a teenager even if he was not a teenager really. Then he had fun, even though he was a vampire. But then he got to the hospital and he had to stop having fun so he was sad.
"I can see the hospital." He said. "So I must be a wizard." He went into the emergency room then. Krystalynne was there. So was Harry Potter.
"Oh no!" said Harry Potter. "He is a vampire!"
Meanwhile Emmett was grounded, because he was bad and did not stay in time out.
"I am a vampire." Said Edward. "But I am a nice vampire even though I am evil really because I am also a killer."
"Are you a Death Eater?" asked Harry Potter.
"I eat dead people." Said Edward and Harry was very angry then.
"I will kill you." Said Harry.
"It is okay." said Krystalynne wisely and she stopped screaming to say it. "Edward is too handsome to be a Death Eater, and does not look like one even though Lucius Malfoy sparkles sometimes." Then she started screaming again because she was in pain.
"Lucius Malfoy must be a vampire." Said Harry and everyone laughed even the doctors who were there also. It was very funny.
"I am not a vampire!" Said Lucius Malfoy and he suddenly came in looking very angry. "I am a wizard!"
"Oh no!" said everyone. "Lucius Malfoy!"
"Yes." Said Lucius Malfoy angrily. "Lucius Malfoy."
Then Dumbledore came. He was angry because Lucius Malfoy was supposed to be in Azkaban and he did not approve of Azkaban even for people like Lucius Malfoy, who was evil.
"You should not be in Azkaban!!" he announced angrily. "Although you are a scumbag!"
"Oh no!" said Lucius Malfoy. "It is Dumbledore! I must summon help!" So he pressed his Dark Mark and it hurt a lot so he screamed a lot. Then Voldemort came in.
"Hello old man." He said evilly. "I will kill you."
"I will save him!" said Edward and he bit Dumbledore heroically. Voldemort was sad because he did not get to kill Dumbledore. Dumbledore cried because it hurt to turn into a vampire. Then he turned into a vampire. He was very handsome but he still had the beard so he wasn't really.
Then Carlisle's jeep came through the window and the window smashed. The jeep landed on a patient but no one cared because it was a hospital and they could sew her head back on. "Oops sorry." Said Carlisle. Then he said "EDWARD YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"
"Oh no!" said Aro, who was in Italy. "There is a new vampire!"
"That is too bad." said Marcus. "Do you want to drink blood?"
"Okay." said Aro. They drank blood and Aro felt better.
Meanwhile Carlisle was very angry and he took off his belt and hit Edward with it a lot. Then Edward pulled out his wand and said "Avada Kedavra!"
Carlisle fell out of the Jeep and died. He did not hit Edward any more because he was dead. The jeep ran over Lucius Malfoy but no one cared because he was evil and he was not their problem.
"Oh no!" said everyone, except Voldemort who laughed because he was evil and he liked death.
"We are in a hospital though." Said a doctor.
"Oh okay." said Edward happily.
Everyone was happy. Vampire Dumbledore got some lemon drops from his robes and everyone ate them even though they were sour. Carlisle did not come back to life though.
Voldemort left and said "Next time I will get you Dumbledore!" Lucius Malfoy did not come with him because he had been run over by the jeep.
And then suddenly Dumbledore realized something!
Another cliffhanger!
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