Author's note: This note is from the mysterious guest friend. All I want to say is: Hi guys.
I don't like this weekly schedule.

Anything in italics = Not part of the Mulan story. Just so you know :)


The doors of the Imperial Palace swung open, and General Im, commander of the Imperial Army, marched in. Urgency was etched into his normally timid face as he bowed and greeted the Emperor.

"Your majesty, the Huns have crossed the northern border! *Khünbish is leading them."

The Emperor looked steadily at his reflection in the mirror held up by one of his attendants, and the heavy scent of an artistically prepared meal for the Emperor pervaded the air.

"Your majesty, are you listening to me?"

The emperor didn't so much as bat an eyelash. "Oui, oui, I heard you. Set up defences around my palace." And he waved them off.

General Im cocked an eyebrow. "Shouldn't we be protecting your people?"

The Emperor turned his head lazily to look at him. "Oh, of course, them. Adviser Edelstein, do something about it. Conscript someone, ohohon. A single grain of rice can tip the scale blah, blah... leave me to enjoy my meal now." A second wave from that fabulous imperial hand, and the General sighed in unison with the adviser.

Far from the Imperial Palace-

A small, blonde boy marches stiffly into the room, clutching a soggy package.

"Haff any of you seen mein Bruder? He told m-"

"How the bloody hell did you find your way here, lad?"

Germany replies with a shrug.

"Right, that brother of yours.Oh, why he was just," England turned to the place Prussia had chosen to sit down in, but he was no longer there. "...here?"

The little nation in the door way started swaying aimlessly.

"Bruder told me to make his a sammish." He presents the soggy package in his hands to England proudly.

"A w-WHAT IS THAT?

"Stop interrupting me! As I was saying, Bruder told me to make him a sammish, but..." he trailed off WITH TEARS IN THOSE BIG, BABY BLUE EYES IN ADDITION TO THAT TREMBLING LOWER LIP OH MY HEART~ "I can clearly see he is not here. Thank you for your time." And with that, little Germany leaves and closes the door behind him. England continued with his tale.

"Far from the Imperial Pala-"

The door clicks open as England is interrupted. Again.

"Uhm... if it isn't too much to ask for... may I please stay in case Bruder comes back?"

England, like many others, simply COULD NOT resist that absolutely adorable look Germany gives him.

"O-of course, poppet. Matthew and I wouldn't mind. Would you, lad?"

"You were talking to someone?"

"Ludwig, I'm r-right here..."

England coughed.

"So as I was saying..."

Far from the Imperial Palace, a young woman named Mulan, of the Fa family was up early, studying how to be a good wife. Today was an important day; she was going to see the Matchmaker! Shaming herself at the matchmaker's would bring that shame to her entire family, so she was doing everything she could to be the most perfect bride. She was so concentrated on writing notes on her arm that she lost track of time and neglected her chores.

And in a not-so-distant part of the house, her younger brother, Yao, was awakened to the sound of firecrackers in his face. His eyes snapped open to a young boy with thick eyebrows in a... dog suit? He closed his eyes again, convinced he was still dreaming. The bursting of the firecrackers alerted him to the fact that this was reality.

"Get up. You're going to be late."

Yao was confused, to say the least.

"I'm not doing anything today! What can I possibly be late for? H-hey! Jia-Long! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

As Yao spoke, the "dog" was attaching a bag of chicken feed and yet another lit firecracker around his neck.

"This is the ultra slow firecracker. You have 10 minutes before it goes off. Finish all your chores before then."

"What chores? They're your chores!"

"Time is ticking..." Jia-Long trailed off ominously.

Needless to say, Yao shot out of bed and completed his brother's chores in less than nineminutes, with a bag of potentially explosive chicken feed in hot pursuit (no pun intended). All the while, Mulan was slowly idling away, completely unaware that she was late for her appointment.


The sounds of the market, the aromas from the street vendors- it was a fine, ordinary day in the village for Yao. He paced himself, strolling along leisurely, deciding what to have for breakfast. Yao settled on a simple pork bun, but before he could sink his teeth into it, he felt a firm hand on his shoulder, pulling him backwards.

"Mulan, what are we going to do with you? You are late! And on such an important day too."

Yao sighed and turned to face his mother.

"I'm Yao, not Mulan! Can't you even tell your son from your daughter?"

His mother's eyebrows furrowed, and she pressed her mouth into a stern line.

"That's not going to work this time, young lady! Now hurry up and get inside. It's rude to keep people waiting!" she chastised as she continued to drag him off with inhuman strength. She spun him around as they slowed to a halt. They had reached their destination. Yao looked up at the building, and his face paled considerably. He pointed and opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He suddenly recalled why today was so important.

"Yes, yes, they've been waiting a long time now."

Yao desperately tried to escape, but his attempts were futile. The iron grip of an angry Asian mother was something he had underestimated (once again).

"You. Going. Inside. Now." she seethed.

"AIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ANCESTORS SAVE ME!" rung through the village as Yao was pushed forcibly inside. His grandmother popped up in the background.

"What can they do? They're dead!"


*Khünbish = Mongolia lul.

General Im = N. Korea

AN: I hope you enjoyed it :) Thanks for reading.
I insist on some thorough critiquing. I prefer roasting marshmallows to grilling grilled cheeses, but I have the same attitude to flames; I will consider them amusing.
Oh, and that line about tears in Germany's eyes; it's not mine.