After Dave and Nessa's 'Wedding'


"Well, that was..." Pam was at a loss of what to say.

"That was..." so was Mick.

"It was..." Everyone at the table was unable to put into words what they had just witnessed.

Gavin, Stacey, Pam, Mick, Gwen, Bryn and Neil - the baby were sat around a table at the Hog Pub after the reception of Dave and Nessa's wedding had been cancelled. And now, after the entire fiasco of the service had been drawn to an end, Smithy and Nessa had gone missing, leaving the baby, Neil, with Gavin and Stacey.

"I thought it was magnificent!" Bryn stated firmly, a smile spread across his lips. "I mean I just love a happy ending, don't you, Mick?!"

"Yeah, Bryn. But I wasn't expecting that." Mick replied, "what about you, Gav?"

"I'll say it was interesting." Gavin answered, he held a sleeping baby Neil with one arm whilst trying to drink his beer with the other hand.

"So what's new? With everyone?" Gwen asked, taking off her hat.

"Well, I'm getting a new conservatory, Gwen, Smithy's doing it - bless him - 50% off. I mean he wanted me to get an extension with sky lights, but that would need planning permission..." She carried on rambling on and nobody except Bryn was really listening to her.

"Anyone want another round?" Mick asked, trying to change the conversation.

He took the orders and made Bryn go with him, whilst Pam and Gwen went to the bathroom.

Stacey looked at Gavin he held Neil into his shoulder and looked like a natural.

"When should we tell them?" Gavin asked her.

"I dunno, I want to be sure, I might do a few more tests first," Stacey contemplated, fumbling around with her purse.

Gavin used the baby to hide his smile: "Babe... why don't we just tell them,"

"Not yet, Gav, I just want to give it a while, y'know, just to be sure." She smiled at Gavin as Neil began to stir, then snuggled back down into his shirt and Gavin readjusted the blanket around him and kissed his head. "You're gonna be a great Dad, Gav."

He smiled at her and was about to say something when Smithy walked in and the shout of: "GAVLAAAAAAAAAR!" Filled the room.

Turning round, Gavin replied,: "Smithster! What the hell just happened?"

Smithy sat down in Bryn's seat a smile on his face and grinned: "What just happened my friend, is I have just declared my undying love for the Mother of my child! Now, who's round is it?" He asked, looking towards the bar.

"C'mon, I'll buy you one, you deserve it after today, " Gavin said, standing up. "Yeah, and this is yours," he added, passing Neil back to Smithy.

Whilst Smithy crooned over his baby, Gavin looked at Stacey who mouthed NO! And Gavin mouthed Why? And Stacey went No, please Gav. This went on until Smithy turned around and they immediately looked innocent and as though nothing had ever happened.

"What's goin' on?" Smithy asked, holding Neil.

"Nothin'" they replied in unison.

"OK. C'mon, Gavlar you owe me that drink!" He said standing up and Gavin stood up and followed him.

Nessa walked in about 10 seconds later, spotted Stacey, then waded through a group of office workers drinking shots, who stopped and stared as she strode towards her still dressed in her silver wedding dress and big boots.

"Y'alright, Stace? What's occurin'?"

"Not much. Except you're now with Smithy! I didn't see that coming!"

"I know, me neither. It's gonna be immense! How's Neil - the baby?"

"He's fine. He's with Gav and Smithy." Stacey answered, then added; "Ness, where have you been?"

"Where have I been? Me and Smithy have been having sex." She replied, bluntly.

"You and Smithy have been having sex?!" Stacey asked, shocked.

"Yeah, but don't tell no one. I don't want them thinking I'm easy. I mean a few years back I was an item with Daniel Craig I was - before his James Bond days, I mean. Let's say when he got what he wanted he was gone. I'm not goin' there again."

"You alright, Nessa?" Gavin asked as he, Smithy, Mick and Bryn returned to the table.

"I'm not bad, Gav." She replied, she grimaced at Smithy who took the seat next to her. Stacey purposely looked away as Smithy began to feel along Nessa's leg.

About a minute later, Gwen and Pam came back from the toilets and they were chairs short, now Smithy and Nessa had arrived and they could only find another one.

Gavin gave his chair up for his Mum and Stacey did the same for hers, resorting to Stacey perching on his knee. He wrapped her hand over her tummy, visualising his baby inside of her. Their parents were too engaged in their own conversation to pay a second glance to Gavin and Stacey.

Nessa momentarily glanced at Stacey when she saw Gavin's hand, she looked again. Not normal. Something's different. Then she looked at Stacey's face. Then it dawned on her. Her eyes became wider, Stacey happened to glance at Nessa when she realised that she knew, she knew. Nessa began to point, speechless.

"Nessa! I need the toilet come with me!" She gabbled, quickly. Jumping off Gavin and seizing Nessa's hand and dragging her to the toilet before she had chance to say anything.


"You're up the duff!" She exclaimed as Stacey shut the door.

"Yes! I know and Gavin knows and now you know! But you can't tell anyone!... Especially not Uncle Bryn!"

"Why not Bryn?" Nessa asked

"Because knowin' him he'd put it on Facebook and Twitter!"

"Fair play. I won't tell no one. But why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we're not telling anyone!" Stacey exclaimed, exasperated. "Not 'til we're sure!"

"Fine, but don't blame me if I let it slip. This is gonna be terrific this is."