Okay I normally don't like having to beg for reviews but since no one bothered to respond to my last chapter. I have no other choice. If for no other reason for do it so I know some people are still interested in the series. Also I wanted to let everyone know that I set up the pole. Chapter Nineteen
A Mother's Desperate Decision
by Empathicallychosen
"Nature's loving proxy, the watching mother"- Edward -Lyton
(o)(o)(o)
"What are you doing here Lily, " Ron demanded in a shaky voice, that was at least several octaves higher than his natural one.
Lily's emerald orbs widened in shock. It was evident by her behavior Lily had come here expecting Harry and Ron to trust her completely. She obviously hadn't even considered the possibility of Ron and Harry being afraid of her. This surprised reaction was strange to Harry, Lily was always a very intelligent person she had to know that the boys would at the very least be a bit nervous around her. Maybe just maybe Lily was as out of her mind as everyone said she was. As Lily watched them stare back at her there was a distinct atmosphere of tremendous sadness around her. For one wild moment Harry had the strangest urge to comfort his mother. Of course that thought was wiped from his mind almost immediately.
He opened his mouth but before he could even think of what to say a collection of footsteps reminded them that they weren't alone in the dormitory. Lily cursed again and before Harry could stop himself he let out a gasp of surprise. He didn't know why her swearing had surprised him so much except for the fact he had never heard Lily utter one word of profanity in his entire life. Harry didn't know much about mothers, but in all of his fantasies about what a mother was one thing had been clear, they weren't supposed to swear!
Then again, Harry reminded himself, Lily is not what you would consider an ideal mother. Mothers aren't supposed to assist in the killing of their children. Glancing over at Ron, Harry was pleased to see he wasn't the only one who was startled by her outburst. Ron was currently staring at Lily with his mouth open so wide that the escaped prisoner could have fit her entire emaciated hand inside of it. Much to Harry's astonishment when she saw the looks on their faces, Lily began to laugh. It was not the cold, calculated laughter of a killer but rather it was the same compassionate, melodic chuckle that had haunted his dreams countless times over the past several weeks.
"Don't look so surprised silly, I've been spending so much time with Padfoot lately he was bound to have a bad influence on me sooner or later," Lily laughed playfully.
"Nothing you do surprises me anymore Lily," replied Harry coldly.
Lily's emotional state switched from one of playfulness to something far more along the lines of what Harry would expect a murder intent upon exacting revenge to act like. She straightened up and in her anger Harry felt as though his mother had grown to the size of Hagrid. Harry tensed and his mind instantly reverted back to the same mindset of walking on eggshells he used when dealing with the Dursleys. The Lily Potter Harry knew in the past would've back down and tried to reassure her little boy that everything would be all right. There was no sign of the woman Harry cherished however.
"Don't you ever call me that again," reprimanded Lily severely.
"But I - I've always called you that," Harry reminded her timidly.
Lily's brow furrowed in confusion ihen quite unexpectedly she started to laugh. Harry and Ron stared at each other and as their eyes met they agreed. Lily was absolutely unhinged by her time in Azkaban. It was the only logical explanation they could think of to explain the woman's sudden mood swing. Harry didn't know where he had gotten his empathic powers from but one thing was clear, it certainly wasn't hereditary. Lily didn't have any clue how nervous the boys were at the moment as she stood there laughing.
"You know I almost forgot how innocent you two actually were," Lily announced in between chuckles.
She took a step towards Harry who stumble backward tripping over his own bed landing with the crash. Pain radiated up Harry's arm spreading throughout his entire body. Given his experience with injury Harry felt quite confident that he had sprained his arm badly when he landed. Lily realizing what had caused Harry to react the way he did started to cry. A wave of intense sorrow washed over her as she raced to help her son back to his feet holding him tightly and smothering him in kisses.
Lily opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by the sound of the curtains around Harry's bed being flung open again. Dean Thomas was horrified and Neville Longbottom looked about ready to wet himself. In contrast Seamus Finnigan could not have been more pleased. It was apparent that as he stared at Lily his wildest dream had just come true. Glancing quickly in the direction of his roommates Harry realized with a certain amount of disbelief that he had been right.
Seamus was indeed clutching tightly to his camera. Harry couldn't believe his eyes. He had only been joking with himself when he'd said Seamus would probably bring his camera to document the events that were about to take place. Never in a million years would he have ever thought the boy would actually do something so thoughtless and insane as to bring it out after hearing Ron mention Lily's name.
"This is wicked! Wait till me Mum sees these. She'll die," Seamus announced rapturously as the flash from his camera proceeded to blind everyone in the room.
After hearing these words everyone toward their eyes away from Lily to gape at him.
"What is the matter with you? Do you really think now is the best time for this? Honestly, if I didn't know better I'd think you wanted your mum to keel over," snapped Harry irritably before he could stop himself.
"How many times in your life can you say you've had a mass murderer in your bedroom? Of course I'm taking pictures, besides they'll need all the evidence they can get to explain what happened to whatever's left of us," Seamus exclaimed as cheerfully as if he were explaining the concept of Christmas to someone.
"Your mum ought to worry about you," Ron announced rolling his eyes. "Were you always this thick or is it a recent development?"
"RON!"
Ron nearly jumped a foot in the air when Lily shouted at him. He couldn't believe that under those circumstances Lily was actually reprimanding him. It just felt odd to hear Lily behaving so motherly considering what she had been accused of. Ron quickly masked his surprise by dawning an angry expression as if to say, where do you get off telling me what to do after what you've done? Even so Harry could still see a glimmer of sadness in his best friend's eyes.
Harry couldn't understand it. How could they know what she had done and still long to please her? Am I really that desperate to have a mum, Harry wondered. Harry shook his head. Ron was just as eager to please Lily as he was and Ron already had a mother and the relationship between Ron and Molly had never been better. Maybe it was just an empathic impulse, maybe they had no control over these desires, maybe . . .
But before Harry's thought process could go any further he was interrupted by the sound of footsteps hurrying up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. Lily heard it as well, she stared at the door as though at any minute it would implode. Biting down hard on her lip, Lily grabbed Harry's wand from his bedside table and cast a quick locking charm on the door before turning back to her son. Lily's whole body was wracked with guilt and longing that was so obvious even Seamus recognized it. Which was in a way more shocking than Lily's emotions themselves. For a few seconds Harry stood there thunderstruck, completely unsure of what to do. Then without warning Lily reached up and brushed aside several stubborn locks of Harry's fringe.
Mechanically Harry took a step back causing Lily's grief to increase even more. But rather than flying off the handle as one would expect a crazed mass murderer to do Lily's brilliant green eyes sparkled with tears as she pulled both Harry and Ron into a gentle hug. All the while she continued speaking to them in a soft loving voice oozing with compassion. Harry felt like crying but he held back the tears. For as long as Harry could remember his desire for a mother's comfort had been his deepest, darkest secret and now that he was getting his wish it didn't matter to him what Lily did next.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you before please. . . Please don't listen to what everyone else is telling you. You have to know I would never hurt you. You know how I feel about you and if everyone didn't have you confused you wouldn't be so terrified of me and this would all be over by now."
Lily's comment rang in Harry's ears. Scared! How dare she say that I'm afraid of her, Harry thought. Focusing all of his energy Harry directed his empathic gaze toward his mother and was utterly astounded by what came back to him. It was a feeling of love so powerful it had nearly knocked Harry off his feet. Harry's head ached and he was forcibly reminded of everything anyone had ever said about his parents and godfather.
He was reminded of overhearing several of his grandparent's neighbors whispering about how much his family adored Harry, Ron and Hermione. Harry couldn't control it any longer he started to cry. Harry was vaguely aware of the fact that Lily's grip had tightened around him but Harry didn't move. His brain was sagging with the weight of the information he had just obtained. In spite of the dire situation Harry let his mind wander.
It just doesn't add up, why would Lily try to kill me if she loves me so much, he wondered. She didn't. She's innocent. It's the only thing that makes any sense. The voice in the back of Harry's mind had returned but for once Harry didn't mind hearing it. Lily was innocent and she loved him. Harry's wildest dreams had just come true. Then Harry realized something so awful it nearly tainted the experience he was having. Harry was suddenly struck that he had spent his whole life being hated unnecessarily. Unaware that he was crying even harder Harry looked up at Lily and smiled weakly to show that he believed in her, which caused Lily to smile widely in response.
"I knew it! I just knew I could get you to understand," she declared happily. "Your father and Sirius will be so pleased . . . This has been so hard on them . . . "
For a few seconds Harry's heart stopped. If Mum is innocent then Dad and Sirius must be innocent as well, he concluded. They're all innocent and I've been too busy hating them to notice. They'll never forgive me! How could they after everything I've done? When did I stop believing in them anyway? One day I knew they'd never hurt me and the next thing I know I'm walking around telling myself I hate them . . .
"Mum," Harry began tentatively.
Lily stopped her rambling at once and turned to face Harry smiling from ear to ear. Her smile quickly faded however when she saw the distressed look on her child's face, "Harry? What's the matter?"
"Dad-"
But no sooner had the words he wanted to say to his mother formed in Harry's mind than the thought was gone and the ringing in his ears had returned and an unbelievable pain shot through Harry's head. As a matter of fact the pain was so intense that it literally brought Harry to his knees. Judging by the way Ron suddenly began howling at his side Harry wasn't the only one in agony. All of the sudden the pain stopped and all reminders of Lily's innocence went with it leaving in its wake a boiling rage unlike anything Harry had felt before.
"Ron? Harry, sweetheart, talk to me. What's wrong," asked Lily frantically.
"Get away from me," Harry snarled shrugging her hand off his shoulders.
"Harry what - . . . "
But Lily never finished her sentence because at that moment Harry looked up into his mother's eyes and what she saw frightened her causing her to lose her train of thought entirely. It wasn't only Lily who was startled by whatever it had been that was causing the hardened criminal to tremble. Both Dean and Neville had scurried away from their roommates as though at any moment Harry and Ron were capable of spontaneously bursting into flames. Seamus, on the other hand, was quite pleased. Once again he picked up the camera that hung from a strap around his neck and was taking photographs with renewed vigor. The flashes from the camera seemed to pull Lily from her stupor and she glared at Seamus in a way that would have made a braver boy than Seamus Finnigan wet himself in fright.
At long last showing signs of good judgment Seamus let the camera drop once more. When Lily was satisfied Seamus wasn't going to take any more pictures of either herself, Ron or Harry Lily fixed Harry and then Ron with a searching gaze that would have put Professor Dumbledore's to shame. When her amazing eyes rested on Ron, something about him caused the redheaded woman to let out another strangled cry. Confusedly Harry watched as Lily began pacing the floor all the while muttering to herself about traitorous rodents. Lily reached out to Ron but the ground began to shake and Ron began to speak in a voice that was not his own.
"Get away from him Lily, Ron belongs to me now!"
Harry knew he recognized that voice from somewhere but the more he tried to place it the more an excruciating pain shot through him so eventually he just gave up trying. Neville, Dean and even Seamus backed away from Ron. Harry knew he should have been afraid as well. Although consciously Harry knew that he should be afraid, but for some reason this didn't seem as unnatural as it did to the rest of the people in the room. All of the sudden Lily seized Harry's arm and pulled him toward her clutching him protectively to her chest.
"Get away from Ron, Sweetheart," Lily whispered slowly. "It isn't safe to be near him right now."
"Ron isn't safe," Harry demanded incredulously pushing away from his mother. "You're the one who sold us to Voldemort!"
"No, I didn't, I swear I have never done anything to hurt you. It was Wormtail he framed us . . . Oh Harry, you have to believe me. If you don't sooner or later he will get you killed," Lily exclaimed bursting into such tormented sobs that even as an empath Harry was alarmed.
Harry was so absorbed in watching his mother's unusual behavior he'd completely forgotten then anyone else was around until he heard a frantic knock on the dormitory door and someone casting a counterspell to unlock it. Lily bit down on her lip staring down at Harry's wand which was still held tightly in her hand. Coming to a decision she looked up and with a quickly mumbled apology she cast the body bind curse on Harry's roommates. Harry stood amazed at how powerful his mother was when it came to spell casting. But before he could say anything to her or even think of what to say she forced Harry and Ron into a corner and placed herself in front of them wand aiming at the door. Something about her protective reaction seemed oddly familiar. But for the life of him Harry couldn't figure out what it was. The door opened and Remus came hurrying inside. Harry felt a rush of relief wash over him and so to his utter confusion did Lily.
"Oh Remus you startled us," she sighed.
"Lily, what's going on here? I thought we agreed that if I helped you into the common room you wouldn't interact with the kids," Remus turned to see Harry's roommates lying on the floor. "Lily, what in Godric's name have you done?"
"They are fine. We have bigger problems, Wormtail is here and he's got a hold of my children," Lily snapped impatiently.
Harry didn't even stop to ponder how truly out of her mind his mother must have been. He was too busy berating himself for trusting Remus. It was quite obvious now that the ministry was wrong. The former lycanthrope wasn't as innocent as everyone believed. Harry didn't need a psychic vision to tell him that Rita Skeeter was going to have a field day when she caught wind of this. He did however wish that he'd received a vision to warn him about the unexpected surprises tonight uncovered. What good was his power if he couldn't use it when he needed to?
While part of Harry was busy cursing his powers and his stupid, trusting nature another part, a part of his subconscious that remembered his revelation from earlier brought another memory to the forefront of his mind to battle with the irrational assumption that Lily and Remus were both deranged Death Eaters. 'Despite what anyone may say now or in the future, I love you and I enjoy spending time with you. There is nothing that you could ever do to change that, nothing.' Was that all a lie too? Before Harry could make a definitive determination, his mind was brought back to the present and the argument going on between Lily and Remus.
"What do we do, should we go to Professor Dumbledore," Remus asked.
"Not until we get that traitor away from Ron," replied Lily shaking her head.
"Well I can take care of that right now."
Remus took a step toward Ron hand outstretched when quite unexpectedly Scabbers scurried off of Ron shoulder. Much to Harry's amazement rather than simply continuing toward Ron Remus began chasing Scabbers all around the room. Then it happened Harry's arms and legs inexplicably caught fire. Harry turned around intent on telling Ron off when he saw something that made it painfully obvious Ron wasn't the one who attacked him. Harry could tell because Ron was having some problems of his own he was currently rolling around on the floor doubled over in anguish, clutching his stomach and much to Harry's dismay vomiting blood. As alarming as all of this was Harry didn't think that Remus or Lily had anything to do with what was happening to them. Remus was so startled that a feather could have knocked him over. Lily was screaming for someone to make it stop even as she ran to Ron's side. Harry moaned beginning to feel ill. Lily's head snapped up immediately. She'd just opened her mouth to speak when something happened that made what little color remained in her face drain. Before Lily could ask her son if he was all right Ron started talking in that same familiar yet unidentifiable voice.
"It's your choice Remus old friend. You can get revenge on me or you can save your precious little cubs. I think I've made it clear in the past that I'm willing to do anything to avoid that life sentence in Azkaban Lily was until a few months ago so graciously serving for me," he said.
Remus stopped dead looking between Harry and Ron with such a tormented expression that if it weren't for the agony of the flames Harry surely would have exploded. Remus cast one last wary look at the boys on the floor before sighing in defeat. As suddenly as they had come the flames on Harry's body subsided and Ron fell to the floor unconscious. Remus smiled reassuringly at Harry as if telling him not to worry but he looked at Lily and his face portrayed the same question that was running through Harry's own mind; What now?
Unlike Remus, Lily wasn't indecisive for very long. She was pacing back and forth speaking hurriedly to herself. Finally she looked up and ordered Remus to stay with Harry and Ron before disappearing again. When she arrived she wasn't alone. Hermione was standing there, chewing on her fingernail. Harry didn't know who to trust at the moment but he was sure that if anyone could figure out who and what to believe it would be the girl fidgeting under his mother's hold. Sadly at the moment Hermione seemed just as confused as he did.
"What's going on," Harry demanded staring at his mother who was now rummaging through Harry's things all the while muttering about Harry's lack of organizational skills.
"Ron's being controlled by an actual Death Eater and Remus and I are kidnapping the three of you for your own protection," Lily responded at last locating a pair of Harry's sneakers. "Now be a good Marauder and fetch your cloak. I'm not sure where we're going or how we are going to get there but no matter where we end up it's going to involve some walking and I don't want you catching a cold."
Harry frowned. If Lily was a hardened criminal, she was doing a very good job of acting like a concerned, loving mother. Even if she was a criminal which Harry was once again beginning to have serious doubts about they needed answers about who was controlling Ron and they weren't going to get them by sitting here with Harry's petrified roommates. So with an uncertain glance at Hermione, Harry jumped up and began helping his mother to look for his cloak.
Molly Weasley was very excited. Ginny was celebrating the holiday by spending the night at her best friend Luna Lovegood's house and for the first time in a very long time Molly and Arthur were going to be alone. Molly had been looking forward to tonight for ages. Tonight it would be just the two of them sharing a romantic dinner by candlelight with the mood music of Celestina Warbeck playing in the background. Molly squeezed herself into her favorite turquoise sequined evening gown and went downstairs to check on the Cornish gamehens. The smells coming from the kitchen were exquisite as always. After checking on the chicken and adding a last sprinkle a paprika to the potatoes everything was ready. It's perfect, she thought as she dished the food onto to sterling silver plates and carried them to a finely decorated table.
Suddenly the clock on the mantelpiece in the living room chimed signaling a change in status. Curiously Molly set down her finely prepared meal, wiped her hands on the kiss the cook apron she had draped over her evening gown and went into the living room to see what was going on. She spotted her favorite heirloom at once, it was an object she had acquired on her wedding day, a clock detailing the whereabouts of all of her family members. It started out having only two hands for herself and her husband but as their family grew so did the number of hands on the clock. Currently the prison, lost and hospital positions were abandoned. Molly's hand was naturally pointed at the home position and Ginny was stuck on visiting friends. Bill, Charlie and Arthur were all at work and the hands of Percy and the twins were stationed in the school position. None of this was unexpected the shock came when she looked for Ron's hand and found it pointing straight up facing the mortal peril position.
Molly let out a scream of horror. This can't be happening! Not my Ronnie, oh Merlin, please, not my Ronnie! Molly was well aware that she had been dreadfully unfair to her youngest son in the past. There was no denying she had been a horrible mother, she admitted making some terribly inappropriate choices in her life. Molly had heard the whispers of the neighbors as she took the children on walks, she knew that they thought she didn't love her son. The papers claimed she was only raising her son so that she could bask in the glory of the Golden Ones but they were wrong, they were all wrong! She did love her son. She loved him so much it hurt, that was why she pushed him away. As hard as she tried, Molly would never be able to forget that dark day after learning that Lord Voldemort would be coming after her family when she, Molly Margaret Prewitt-Weasley had lost her mind, literally. She could deal with it now but in the past she was so ashamed she couldn't even look her own son in the eye, so she pushed him away. It was another mistake that Molly would regret for her entire life. The worst part about it was that she might never get to tell her beloved child how sorry she was.
The clock chimed again this time it was Arthur's hand that moved. Her husband's hand had suddenly gone from 'work' to 'traveling'; a second later it had shuddered to a halt on 'home.' Involuntarily Molly breathed a sigh of relief, together they would be able to sort things out. Arthur appeared seemingly out of nowhere and began to say that they needed to Floo to Dumbledore's office at once but Molly was already dragging her husband back toward the fireplace by his collar. Don't worry dear, she thought. Mummy's coming. They landed in the headmaster's office at Hogwarts only to come face to face with not only Professor Dumbledore but also the Potters, the Grangers, Victoria and a flustered looking Minister Fudge as well. It was at that moment Molly was convinced that this situation was dire.
"What happened? Have the Potters and Black done something to the children," Arthur demanded shooting an almost apologetic glance at Aidan and Accalia.
"No Arthur, I don't believe they have. As a matter of fact new evidence has come to light suggesting at least to me that the so-called Azkaban fugitives have never been anything but loving
toward Harry, Ron and Hermione," Dumbledore responded looking even more solemn then Molly had ever seen him before, which included the days of the Order of the Phoenix.
"I knew it! I knew there had to be some kind of mistake," Megan declared triumphantly.
"What kind of evidence," Arthur asked obviously preparing himself for what might turn out to be his predecessor's biggest blunder yet.
"We have eyewitness accounts stating that the betrayal of Harry, Ron and Hermione was not perpetrated by the Potters or Sirius. Earlier this evening in the dormitory Ron was possessed by a man named Wormtail who admitted framing Lily and the others for his actions."
"Wormtail was - is the Marauder's old nickname for Peter. He's an Animagus he can turn into a rat. He's been on Ron's shoulder this entire time and none of us recognized him. Oh Molly, I'm so sorry," lamented Victoria.
Victoria proceeded to explain everything she'd been told by the Marauders about the way that they'd become animagi to keep Remus company during his days as a werewolf. Uncertain as to where this was going Molly listened as Victoria described seeing the Marauders' animagi forms for herself. James, the majestic stag, Sirius, the grim-like black dog and Peter the beady-eyed gray rat. The story was absolutely incredible. She could believe James capable of becoming an Animagus given his extraordinary aptitude for Transfiguration and Sirius - ... well as much as she disagreed with the reckless young man she was so often at odds with during the time of Lord Voldemort she couldn't deny that the man was actually very clever in spite of his stupid stunts
.
At first Molly wasn't sure what to make of this announcement then something occurred to her. Scabbers had lived with their family for ten years. Molly was told by the local magical veterinarian once upon a time that ordinary garden rat only live to about three years of age. It had been so long ago that Molly'd simply forgotten the information and went on with her busy schedule as a stay-at-home mother of several young children. Scabbers was actually an Animagus. Suddenly it occurred to Molly that innocent men didn't pretend to be garden rats for nothing. It was more then conceivable therefore that the rest of the story was true too. I can't believe I allowed that filthy coward to live under my roof! The nerve of that man seeking refuge with us after everything he did to Ron . . .
Molly let out a gasp of horror when she realized that she had unwittingly placed young Ron in harms way once again by giving her son the unregistered Animagus as a pet. She was so sick of mistakes, it was due to her mistakes that caused her sweet little boy to feel alone and unloved, it was her mistakes that put Ron in danger and it was because of the mistakes of the Ministry that had deprived poor Lily of the opportunity to witness her son's childhood. Why had neither she nor Arthur found the rat's longevity unusual? The spell to detect an Animagus was simple. If she just cast the spell when Scabbers's lifespan was supposed to be through all of this could have been dealt with before anyone was put in danger. Before she could respond, the minister interrupted with a loud snort.
"The only thing that proves is that Potter and Black were involved in illegal activity long before any of us realized. Be reasonable Dumbledore your eyewitnesses are three teenage boys who could have easily been manipulated by one of the most notorious Death Eaters of all time," he said.
Molly wondered why the ministers seemed so opposed to the mere suggestion of the Potters' innocence. Then she recalled being told by Arthur that Fudge had been overheard telling his senior undersecretary that once Lily, James and Sirius were recaptured he would be known as the most capable minister there ever was. If it turned out they had been innocent all this time Fudge would be completely disgraced despite the fact that he wasn't the one to hand down the original sentence. Anyone who knew Fudge at all knew that he would do anything in his power to keep that from happening. Even if it meant keeping innocent people in prison.
Arthur was always saying that its predecessor's actions during the time of He-who-must-not-be-named's reign of terror were absolutely unconscionable. In fact Arthur might have suspected there were more innocent people in Azkaban all along. After Remus was proclaimed, innocent Arthur had several people looking into the old cases and Remus wasn't the only person sentenced without a trial. As a matter of fact locking up suspected Death Eaters without a trial was a common practice.
Was it really surprising that innocent people were affected? Despite the illegal animagi incident if anyone ought to be presumed innocent of what they'd been imprisoned for then Lily, James and Sirius were the prime candidates. Unfortunately it was very clear from the look in the ministers eyes that if they were going to save Lily, James, Sirius and now once again Remus from the Dementors kiss than they were going to need all the help they could get.
