Summary: In the aftermath of what happens, Izuku tries to cope and understand.
Screaming filled his ears as Izuku backed away from the reflection that wore his face, but the blood of the thugs whose bodies, still warm and oozing blood were now quiet. In his hysterical panic, he finally recognized the screaming to be his own as the reflection quickly shot over and covered his mouth. "Ah! Don't scream Izuku! I'm sorry if this is frightening to you, but don't worry! I would never hurt you!" His reflection tried to reassure him, but the words fell on deaf ears as Izuku tasted the metallic tang of blood invade his mouth and smear across his tongue.
He felt like he could vomit as bile rose in his throat and his eyes burned with tears. The reflection's eyes widened before looking worried and flailing its arms around in panic. "Oh-I didn't mean to! S-Sorry! But please calm down Izuku! We don't have time to waste! Mom needs help now!" His reflection exclaimed, shutting Izuku up as he finally calmed down enough to remember his mother was bleeding out and could die.
His eyes shot over to her prone form before he got up on legs that quivered like jelly and stumbled his way over to the phone that had been displaced during the skirmish. Faintly, Izuku could remember muttering to the operator about his situation and hearing that they would dispatch an ambulance and pro-hero to the site soon before telling him to stay on the line.
'I-I have to c-calm-calm down! Mom, Mom! She-She, needs help! I have to chec-check her pulse!' Izuku gulped before raising his bloodstained arms before squealing in disgust at himself for being so tainted and dirty . "I-I can't touch her like this! Water-I need water!" He stammered as he tried looking around.
"There's no water here Izuku, you know that. It's ok, just wipe your hands off and it'll be alright." His reflection spoke as Izuku shook his head and tried to ignore it. "No-No! Shut-Just shut up and leave me alone!" He raised his voice as the reflection simply stood still, staring sadly at him. A squelch alerted him that he had stepped on something that belonged to the thugs before his reflection had-had! He didn't finish the thought before lifting up his foot and immediately paling at the intestines that lied underfoot.
Izuku felt the world spin again as he braced himself against the brick wall and eject his stomach's contents. The bile burned as he choked, the sound of retching filling the alleyway for a few minutes before stopping. Izuku coughed as the acidity of the bile left a bitter, biting aftertaste and tried wiping his tears away only to remember he was only further staining himself with the blood that covered him.
A cold, hard hand pressed against his back gently as another brushed his bangs away from his face. Izuku jolted back before smacking his reflection's hand away. "Don't touch me! You-You murderer !" He yelled out as the reflection said nothing. Izuku felt himself tremble as it stared at him with unblinking eyes, before taking a step back when it started approaching him.
"N-No! Stay away! Pl-please stay back!" He shook his head before tripping over a limb and crashed onto the hard ground, wincing as he closed his eyes. A pair of arms wrapped around his head as he was held against the reflection's chest, almost in a strangely mother-like manner that scared Izuku. "Oh Izuku, you shouldn't be afraid of me. I'm still you after all. I can't hurt myself. I would never harm you. I love you."
Izuku shook his head before covering his ears, "No-No, nononononoNONO!" 'That can't be true. If-If he is-then that mean-I-killed-I!' Izuku's thoughts were all scrambled, thrown about in the crevices of his mind as reality seemed insistent on digging and scraping them out. "No, I didn't kill these men-No that wasn't me! I-I would never...no you are the murderer! I'm not!" Izuku denied it as the reflection simply patted his hair, as if it knew Izuku would deny it.
The sound of sirens finally approached as the reflection looked up and then to the phone that was still on, but was too far away to make out any of their words. The reflection had made sure to cover it up with Inko's hand before Izuku started yelling. "I have to go now Izuku, but we will talk again later. Don't worry too much about what comes after. For no matter what, I will always, always be with you Izuku. I always have been."
And then Izuku was truly left alone as he was too stunned to react in the aftermath of watching his reflection shatter away into little shards of light.
From there, Izuku couldn't remember what happened next as the police stumbled upon the scene in horror along with the one pro-hero they had managed to get on scene. Izuku didn't acknowledge the hands that tried shaking him out of shock to answer his questions, nor when his mother had been driven to the hospital as he was brought to the police station to wash up.
Izuku nodded blankly at the officer who handed him temporary clothes to change into after he cleaned off the blood . As the water hit his scalp and trickled down his head, quickly warming up, Izuku finally felt coherent again as tears dripped from his face, intermingling with the water that came from the showerhead. He cried his heart out before squatting down and hugging his knees under the spray of water.
Pink. The water was pink as it swirled and danced in a macabre manner. The foam from the soap formed shapes and faces that leered back at him as if they knew what he had done and were keeping it a secret.
Murderer.
His skin was burning as he refused to add any cool water and furiously scrubbed at his skin.
Hands were on him again. Inko was sobbing. The villains were laughing. Someone was crying.
Murderer.
Pink. His eyes were pink as he stared back at himself, not trusting what the mirror showed anymore.
Pink. His reflection's own eyes were pink as if it had been crying as he had been. What a fake.
Pink. The color of the liquid that encased the embryo safely and provided nutrients.
"Izuku-kun!" "Izuku!" Two distinct voices called out as Izuku's dead green eyes suddenly snapped back into focus as he tilted his head up to see Mitsuki and Katsuki approaching with concerned expressions, Masaru following behind.
Then they were hugging him, Izuku trembled at the loss of his space as his breath hitched. Mitsuki looked tired as her eyes were also rimmed red from what Izuku could guess was crying. Katsuki wasn't any better as the eleven-year-old set off anxious sparks in his palms, careful not to hurt anyone with them.
"Oh Izuku-kun, I-We heard what happened…" Mitsuki started before trailing off, she observed his trembling form before looking to Inko who was hooked up to several devices behind him. Letting out a gasp, she tightened her grip on Izuku's hand as she raised the other to cover her mouth. "No...Inko!" Mitsuki exclaimed in horror as Izuku observed her shoulder shake.
"If-If those bastards weren't already dead I would have killed them myself!" Mitsuki cursed, unknowingly making Izuku flinch as he refused to raise his eyes to meet any of theirs or his own reflection. Katsuki reached up to hold his hand, trying to comfort him but Izuku only gave him a sad look before keeping both of his own arms glued to his sides. He couldn't touch Katsuki, not with these hands.
Katsuki didn't deserve being touched by someone so disgusting and dirty . His good, honest self didn't deserve to be dyed red by the ugly leech that was Izuku . Masaru lied a comforting hand on his shoulder, but stumbled back in shock when Izuku slapped his hand off violently, staring at him with hysterical eyes as everyone looked at him shock. "S-Sorry! I'm so so-sorry Uncle Masaru! But-but please...don't-don't to-touc-" Izuku trailed off, not being able to finish his sentence as the man and Mitsuki realized something else must have happened in the alleyway besides the murders.
Masaru seemed to scrunch his face in pain before nodding and heading out of the room so Izuku could relax a bit and breathe.
He only knew how to hurt people. Izuku just hurt Uncle Masaru's feelings even though the man did nothing to hurt him. Izuku was truly undeserving of the man's concern and love.
Izuku felt ill as he gripped his hair, voice stuck as a muted scream in his throat as he cursed his reaction. Mitsuki seemed to realize what he was doing as she kneeled down to stop him. "Izuku-kun, don't hurt yourself over your reaction. It's a natural response to what happened ok?" Katsuki was none the wiser since they were still children. Well, since the blond was still a kid.
Oh, Izuku had no doubts Katsuki knew about rape, but he wouldn't suddenly pick up on the signs of an attempted assault. A knock on the hospital door alerted the three of them before a police officer walked in with his partner. "Midoriya Izuku?" He asked as Mitsuki stood to answer for him. "Yes? This child is Izuku. Can I help you?"
The man blinked before nodding, "Yes, that would be appreciated. We just have a few questions for him." Mitsuki grimaced as she asked, "Couldn't this wait a few more days? The boy just went through a traumatic experience and his mother is comatose right now!" The man and his partner had enough sympathy to give him pitying looks before regretfully shaking their heads.
"Our apologies miss, but in the aftermath of what happened...we have to ask right away before any memory of the event can fade away or be changed." Mitsuki let out a sound of frustration before nodding and turning to Izuku who looked as pale as the sheets Inko was lying on. "Izuku-kun, I know this can be scary, but the officers really need your help to catch the murderer who killed those thugs ok? Can you, can you be brave and help them?"
Izuku looked up with wide, fearful eyes as none of the adults realized it was fear of being exposed, thinking that he was simply traumatized from what happened. There was no mysterious murderer that stumbled upon the thugs and killed them, rescuing Izuku and his mother. It was him . He killed them. He was the murderer .
Izuku swallowed before nodding. The officers seemed to sigh in relief before they started.
The questions were basic. "Can you tell us everything that happened up to and during the crime?" "Do you remember the murderers face or anything that could help us distinguish him?" Etc. Izuku never remembered ever having so many lies spill out of his mouth before. He had asked Mitsuki to tell Katsuki to leave the room when he told the officers everything that happened up to the point where his reflection had come out.
The woman looked ten years older as she rubbed her temples in frustration at knowing Izuku and Inko were involved in such a situation. The officers were satisfied with what they could get out of Izuku as the green haired boy nodded. No one need to know. Katsuki and his parents would still love Izuku. It was selfish of him, hiding such a secret.
His reflection stared back knowingly as its eyes also followed the police officers and Mitsuki as they shuffled out of the room to discuss who would be taking custody of Izuku while Inko was out of commission. Izuku had returned to holding Inko's prone hand gently as he observed her bandaged face and body. This was his fault.
'If only we were more careful and stuck to the main streets. If only I didn't buy the cake and reminded her of my birthday. If only I were a better son . If-If only I wasn't born .' Izuku thought as his reflection looked at him sadly. Izuku gave it a glare, only to look away in shame when the reflection didn't mirror his expression reminding him that it was sentient. That it could leave the mirror world and act on its own .
Mitsuki was now talking to a doctor outside as Izuku pressed his back to the door and listened in on their conversation. "Procedures… Costs...Expensive" "I don't care Izuku and Inko both need me I can't….This conversation is over sir. We will be paying for any expenses it might take for Inko to get better!" Mitsuki finished quite strongly as Izuku heard the doctor sigh before agreeing.
Izuku was simply the worst kind of leech. Feeding off of others who were good and kind. He only knew how to scrape by on the mercy of others.
Mitsuki blinked in surprise as she opened the door and saw Izuku sitting down, holding his legs. She only gave him a sad look before kneeling down to hug him again. Izuku didn't deserve such kindness. It only reminded him how dirty he was .
"It'll be ok Izuku-kun, I'll take care of you. We'll take care of you ok?" She said as Izuku nodded lifelessly. 'I wonder...would Auntie Mitsuki still love me if she knew I lied? That I killed those men? Or would she throw me away like I deserve to be?' Izuku thought before closing his eyes. Sleep didn't come that night, nor the night after or for several nights after that.
The kids at school all whispered about him. News spread around quickly after all, even if Izuku knew no one but the Bakugos knew everything that actually happened. He knew they would never spread the information around, but others weren't so tactful. Katsuki helped ease things by acting as normal as ever. Izuku truly appreciated that as he grew tired and angry at the invasive looks and insensitive gossiping.
But, as life would have it, Izuku didn't have the chance to catch a break. Katsuki had gotten sick one of the days they had school, but Izuku agreed to still go because he didn't want to trouble the Bakugos anymore than he was already doing. The kids had all noticed Katsukis absence of course as they became more daring to come up to Izuku to ask him things he didn't want to answer or reminded him about things he would much rather forget.
"Hey is it true you ran into a villain ?"
"We heard a bunch of guys were murdered where the police found you! Do you remember the face of who did it?"
"Hey your mom is in the hospital right? Didn't she like, almost die or something?"
"I heard from my dad who heard from his friend that you were covered in blood when they found you! Isn't that totally nasty?"
When Izuku remained quiet and refused to answer, the kids grew irritated and bored.
Another day had passed and Katsuki remained sick, Izuku staying by his side at night as the blond's presence helped him sleep without nightmares. He normally couldn't do this, he didn't want to inconvenience the boy too much.
In truth, it was because Katsuki's room had very little reflective objects in it, so Izuku could easily tune out the whisperings of his reflection and focus on the blond's heartbeat instead. Reminding him that Katsuki was still alive, chest rising up and down in his sleep. Nightmares of the Bakugos' and his mother's blood on his hands and heads at his feet making his eye bags almost look like bruises.
A few boys snickered as he passed them in the hallway. The girls he recognized from his class looked at him before turning away suspiciously. 'They're planning something. Don't go into the classroom! Don't go!' The reflections whispered as Izuku listened. Or at least, he tried to. The moment they saw him walking away, a few select boys circled him.
Izuku's breath hitched as they got closer, he sped quickly towards the bathroom. 'I have to get to the mirror! The mirror!' He panicked as they were a few feet away from him, also hurrying their pace to come after him. Izuku broke out into a sprint at the concerned whisperings of the reflections as the boys were taken aback by his reaction.
It was too late as Izuku had already reached the bathrooms, several minutes before they would find him. And dove into the mirror, uncaring on if anyone actually saw him. To which, no one was there to witness his escape into the unassuming object.
The bathroom doors slammed open as the boys rushed in, only to see no one. They opened all of the stalls and even checked the window where Izuku could have escaped from but nothing was found. It was as if Izuku had simply, disappeared . No one ever noticing one of the reflections of the bathroom stalls not aligning with its real-life counterpart as they left, questioning what happened.
In the mirror, Izuku stayed in the fake bathroom stall, before escaping into the floating plane of existence that connected him to all the other mirrors and reflective surfaces nearby. Auntie Mitsuki and Uncle Masaru would forgive him for skipping later, but for now, Izuku didn't want to know what the kids had in mind.
Everyone had always believed he was quirkless, Inko had never thought to bring him to a doctor after seeing no signs of one developing in Izuku. He never wanted to tell her he was born with one after the incident with her reflection. Only Katsuki knew about his ability and Izuku wanted to keep things that way.
So if the blond noticed that Izuku was jumpier and kept glancing at his reflection more and more frequently, he didn't say anything about it. Izuku was grateful. If it were Katsuki who asked him...he wasn't sure if he could continue lying. He had a bad habit of spilling out his secrets to Katsuki. But not this one. Not this dirty, dirty secret. No. Izuku would die before telling this one .
It was around a month later, that Izuku finally built up the courage to face his reflection that night, when the Bakugos had gone to sleep and left Izuku to his own thoughts. "Well...you said we would talk again so...talk." He said, voice steady even as his shoulders trembled a bit. The reflection was still for a moment before, as expected, it moved of its own accord and crawled out of the mirror. Izuku had never realized just how frightening that looked until he saw himself do it. Soon, it sat in front of him, patiently waiting for something.
Izuku gulped, suddenly remembering how strong his reflection could be- their heads and limbs tore apart as easily as cotton candy - as he fidgeted nervously. The reflection sighed. "I already told you Izuku, I won't hurt you, ever! You know reflections can't lie. So why don't you believe me?" It said as Izuku bit his lip and jerked his head, nodding.
He gave a quiet, but hysterical laugh as he said, "So-So its true...That really was me who killed those men." His hands were clammy and cold as he covered his face in shame. After a moment he finally looked up again. "What-what are you supposed to be?" He asked as the reflection hummed. "Well, I suppose just saying I'm a reflection wouldn't be enough...I am you Izuku. But, to clear things up, I am the manifestation of the reflection you have created in the image of a 'better' you."
Izuku furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Wh-what does that mean?" The reflection looked focused as it tried to explain, "Well, think of it this way. When I was created and born from the reflection you saw yourself in, you were thinking something along the lines of 'what if I were stronger, faster, etc etc. right?" Izuku nodded. "Well, that ideal of yourself along with your quirk worked to awaken me and create the you that you rejected from your main self."
Things seemed to be getting clearer as Izuku's eyes widened at the knowledge his reflection was giving him. "So basically...You're the perfect version of me… you have everything that I...don't." The reflection seemed a bit conflicted at his answer. "Well, yes and no...You keep trying to separate us Izuku, as if we aren't the same person. It's not that I am the perfect version of you, but rather I represent all the aspects of yourself you denied belonging to you. I am one half of our whole ."
Izuku was silent for a moment before nodding. "I-I think I understand...but then, why did-why did you-why did I-we? Kill those men? Did I really want to murder them? Is that why you did what you did? Because I made you do so?" Izuku questioned as the reflection shook its head.
"It's a bit more complicated than that Izuku. It's not that you wanted to kill them that I followed that, but rather you were ultimately ready to accept your fate and die. I was not . Think of us as two extremes, whereas you would never lift a finger and harm another soul. I would . Especially to protect you." It-he? Said as Izuku didn't feel any better after the explanation.
"You-You keep mentioning that. Protecting me. That you would never harm me. Why? Why is that?" The reflection stared back at him with a bittersweet smile on its face. "Because why would I do something you already do to yourself? You already hurt and blame yourself enough for the both of us Izuku. I am the one who loves us without abandon." Izuku felt his throat dry as tears blurred his vision.
He let out a barking laugh, careful not to alert anyone as his laughs slowly died down. It hurt, for his reflection- himself - to point out the harsh truth. "Then what-what can I even do now?" Izuku asked brokenly as he finally relented and held his reflection's hands in his own. Or were they his own hands? It was confusing.
"I don't know Izuku...I don't know any more than you do." It said as Izuku closed his eyes and tried to breathe deep, trying to accept the reality before sighing. "Yeah...that does sound like me…to never know anything when I actually need it." He laughed again the hollow sound echoing in his mind.
After a moment Izuku seemed to sober up as he sat and simply looked at his reflection which looked at him with innocent, curious eyes. "I suppose- After all the trouble I've caused you. I could at least ask for what name you want to be called by. Or will I just refer to myself in the third person from now on?" Izuku joked, trying to make the situation a bit lighter. To anyone else, it may have seemed like he gave into the stress and succumbed to madness.
His reflection, however, seemed to beam with happiness, it was very expressive. Something he never was. "You can call me whatever you want!" Izuku thought about it for a moment before nodding to himself, the reflection already knowing his response even as Izuku said it out loud. "Zuku. Just, Zuku." The reflection nodded. "Fitting, considering how I came into your life Izuku." The green haired boy nodded. 'Yeah, like the sound of an explosion...I blinked my eyes and turned away from the disaster and in return was left with an aftermath I could never undo.'
The rest of the night was quiet as Izuku was left alone by his newly named 'Zuku'. Nothing new had been resolved. Izuku was still a murderer. Inko was still hospitalized. The Bakugos' still had the burden of caring for him. And life hadn't gotten any easier for Izuku.
But, he felt as if the weight on his chest was the slightest bit lighter as he went to sleep.
And around the embryo and amniotic fluid, there grows a shell. It is weak and has yet to fully form.
The embryo waits patiently. It knows its fate and waits. In due time, everything will be as it was meant to be.
Notes: Haha I hope everyone is ok with slow build and symbolism since I will have a lot of that in this story. So things aren't completely 'ok' for Izuku yet, and who knows if they will ever be B) This story will have no romance between Izuku with anyone else for plot reasons I won't give away haha. But there will be some other ships. Now, I haven't hinted a lot about where I'll be taking Izuku and this story next, but feel free to leave comments on how I'll be changing up the canon events and details and about Izuku's descent into 'villainy'. An observation I made while writing this chapter, is that another way to look at Izuku's quirk, is to compare it to how the Phantom Thieves from Persona 5 can look at people's 'true inner selves'. It's not really the same but, Anyways, thanks again for reading and if anyone ever wants to send me a message or chat, I'm on tumblr or on instagram at enso_2619! I don't bite owo.
