A/N: So, if you've been with this fic since the beginning you'd recall that it was originally written to be a one-shot. After several reviews and messages about seeing where this would go and all that, I felt that the requests could not be ignored. This is based on 3x03 "Scared to Death" which obviously is the next one in line with the season.

To x-mj-x, Patty, and my own personal JJ, thank you for being my sounding boards as I continued this and thank you for helping me work through the bugs. You guys are amazing.

READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE. I'd love to hear how you all feel about the continuation, and I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. I want this to be something that my readers can look at and see some of their input too. :)

DISCLAIMER IS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER.


"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You mist do the think which you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt.

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His eyesight was starting to blur as he stared long and hard at the words on the page. He blinked his eyes hard and chanced a glance out the window, staring out into the black unending sky and taking a long breath. His thoughts swallowed him whole, uncertainty reverberating in his skull as he let his mind mull over Haley and Jack, him and Emily, and where this all was heading. His head dropped back to the headrest and his eyes flickered shut, his minding reminding him of the last time they'd been on this jet, the night he'd first discovered that Haley had left, and the night he'd sought out Emily's company.

He couldn't help but smile as a warm body slid into the seat next to him, her hand seeking his out under the table and quickly entwining their fingers. He knew she'd made sure the rest of their team was asleep before coming over; she was far too careful with herself to do anything to jeopardize their professionalism. He gave her hand a tender squeeze and sought the comfort she so willingly offered to him; silent support that he'd never gotten from Haley. Thin fingers tracing through his hair, brought his eyes to open and catch her concerned eyes moving across the planes of his face, "You okay?" He swallowed thickly and gripped her hand a little tighter, "I don't know."

She pursed her lips slightly and cocked her head, "The case?" He shook his head and blew out a huff of air, "No. I…" hesighed and shrugged, nodding to the sleeping form of Morgan across from him, "I told him… about Haley."

She nodded and rested her free hand on his shoulder, "Okay..." She waited for him to continue with that line of thought, but was greeted with silence. "I think it's good. You need support right now." She gave him a supportive smile and looked across the table at Derek and watched him sleep for several moments before looking back at Hotch with uncertain eyes, "What, uh… what did he say about it?" He sighed and looked at their hands, as he moved them into his lap, "He didn't."

Her mouth formed a silent 'o' and she licked the corner of her mouth, sucking the side of her lip into her mouth and biting it sharply, her eyes studying their hands as he traced their entwined fingers with his free hand; her voice was soft, just above a whisper as she spoke, "Aaron…"

She winced as his body tensed and he tightened his jaw, a soft hiss escaping his lips, "Emily… not here. We… I can't do this here." Her head lifted, mouth to protest and found her gaze met with fiery eyes. He shook his head and turned away from her as Morgan begin to shift in his seat, slowly waking from his slumber. She cleared her throat and tugged her hands back slowly as Hotch chanced a glance at the man across from them. She looked up at him with a smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes and nodded, "It'll be okay, Hotch. You'll be fine." She met his eyes with hers and exhaled slowly, "I'll let you get back to work." She nodded to the files in front of him and scooted from the chair, quickly striding to the opposite end of the plane, and curling up in a chair, knees tucking into her chest as insecurity tugged at her soul.

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He couldn't stop himself from watching her in the bull pen. The way her body moved as she grabbed her coat and purse, lean muscles gliding against each other as she slid the jacket on and secured it on her form; the way her lips quirked up at something Morgan said and the way the smile widened upon her plump full red mouth. He sighed and ran a hand through the short crop of dark hair on his head and then over the back of his neck. They'd gotten back to DC around 4 am, had arrived back at the BAU by 5, and had just now finished up their paperwork by 7; it'd been one of those cases he was just happy was over and done with. Part of him just wanted to go home, have a stiff drink and collapse in bed, and part of him wanted to go home and collapse in bed, with her at his side.

His head jerked up as his office door opened and Morgan's head popped in, "Hey Hotch, we're all going out for some breakfast. You comin?" Hotch shook his head and nodded to the pile of folders on his desk. Morgan sighed and furrowed his brow, "You aren't seriously going to stay here and do all that are you? Hotch, we just got back. You haven't slept and we have the rest of today off. Go home. Get some rest. Call your wife. Do something other than stay here at work, man." Hotch's eyebrows rose towards his hair line and he studied the younger man with hard eyes before nodding slowly and running his palm over his eyes, "Maybe you're right."

She'd felt his eyes on her since they'd had their talk in the jet. She knew his dark, stormy eyes were following her every move and sge hated herself for getting into this situation. She'd played with fire before but this was like dousing herself in gasoline and walking into a burning building. There would be no escaping a burn from this. Her eyes flicked up to his office and she found his eyes staring right into hers. Her breath hitched slightly as she watched him watching her and she gave a slight incline of her head, silently asking if he was coming out with them. His subtle headshake back almost had her in tears, although admittedly they were tears of joy over not having to stomach an awkward meal of stares and silences. She smiled as Derek returned to their group and nodded to the door, his arm casually resting around her and Garcia's shoulders as he led them out.

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He couldn't remember ever drinking at this time in the morning, but then again, he hadn't ever been in this sort of position. Married but separated, and sleeping with his subordinate. What the hell had he been thinking? When had the latter part of that seemed like a good idea? And then it all hit him in one massive flashback; her eyes, her mouth, her skin, her touch, her bed. She'd offered herself up to him, and while it would be easy to lay the blame on her, he knew that it took two to tango. They were so different, his women, Haley and Emily. He sipped the whiskey, letting it burn its way down his throat as he pictured them both in his mind's eye.

He didn't tell Emily that Morgan had asked if he wanted Haley to come back. He'd never answered the question directly, mostly because he wasn't definitive on the answer. He and Haley hadn't been good together for a while now; fights were almost a nightly expectation, suspicions on his end that there was another man, hatred on her end for his job, the list of reasons they were falling apart was endless. Ultimately though, he couldn't deny the fact that he did indeed love Haley; would always love Haley. She mothered his son, she'd been with him for so many years, that he couldn't image not loving her; but then, was that all he felt towards her? That loving her was a 'security blanket', comfortable, safe, constant; and that missing her, was really missing more than companionship she'd brought to the home they shared, missing the knowledge that when he came home, there'd be someone there to meet him.

And then there was Jack. His mind pictured his son and he sighed softly. He missed his child; missed holding, hugging, kissing, hearing his child in their home. He missed seeing the little mop of brown hair darting up and down the stairs with action figures, missed the sound of his laughter as he watched a movie. He couldn't stop the corners of his lips from turning upward, as he realized, a large part of wanting Haley to come back, was actually wanting Jack to come back. He missed his wife, but he missed his son more. His son hadn't walked out on him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that he, the master of control, had absolutely NO control over Haley's return; she'd left him, and if she wanted to return, she would. And if not...

He shook his head, avoiding going back into a spiral of thoughts about Haley and his future with her. He stared into the amber of his drink and licked his lips, as he came to the harsh reality that he truly had no idea what would happen if Haley did come back, not because he wouldn't be happy about it, but because another woman had managed to bring him to life, to save him when he hadn't even realized he'd needed saving. Emily. His subordinate, and in many ways, the only woman to ever truly understand everything he was experiencing. She seemed to understand when he needed that little bit of support and when he needed space; but she was never afraid to push him, make him do the uncomfortable thing, even if it meant getting the brunt of his anger over it. He thought about the small moment they'd shared on the jet, just a few hours prior, and his stomach did a small tumble as he recalled her hand sliding into his, the way she'd given him a tender squeeze to silently tell him that she was there for him. He didn't know what he wanted from Emily, but he sure as hell wanted more than just the sex she'd been so keen to offer. She meant more than just a fling to help him move on from this; she deserved more. He finished his glass of whiskey and set it down on the table next to him, eying his phone and debating if he should call her and talk to her about this, or just let it lie.

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Her eyes passed over the large red numbers on the clock next to her bed, blinking brightly that it was 8 am. She covered her mouth as a yawn escaped and wanted to physically hit her head into the wall, for not sleeping as much as she should've on the jet ride home. That was the downside of sleeping with the married boss of the team; her mind wouldn't let her just relax. What the hell had she been thinking? Why had asking him to stay seemed like such a good idea? Then she remembered the way he'd looked, so broken and unsure, and she sighed. Damning herself and her own compulsive need to take care of people she stood up and headed into her kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

Her body leaned heavily against the granite countertop as she sipped at the drink, her free hand massaging her temple as she thought about the situation surrounding her. She cared for Hotch, he was a friend and yet there was so much more there; she could feel it just under the surface, itching to get out. She couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. A year ago, she thought he couldn't stand her; he'd been cold, distant, untrusting. Now, here she was trying to figure out why in the hell she'd let him fall into her bed and arms. It was such a complete turn around. She licked her lips and chewed on the corner of her bottom lip as she thought about where this whole thing was heading. He was never the most emotionally available man on the planet, even when he'd worked for her mother he'd been stoic and professional; but now, because of Haley's recent attitude about his work and her leaving, he'd opened up. He was letting her in more and letting her see this side of him that she hadn't even been sure existed.

She smiled as she remembered walking into his office on her first day at the BAU and feeling like someone punched her in the gut; she'd felt like she was 19 all over again, lusting after the tall, dark man that was in control of her mother's security detail, except this time around she worked for him. She sighed and set the empty glass into her sink, mentally kicking herself for letting emotions enter into this thing that was happening between her Hotch. She swallowed as she made up her mind. This wouldn't ever grow into a relationship, it was purely a comfort thing; friends with benefits, but on a much more intense scale. Careers were at stake, hell, a marriage and family were at stake; she could not consciously let herself feel something for a man who wasn't completely available. She stared at her phone, debating on calling him, letting him know that she was okay with the arrangement, so long as they were both clear on the no-strings policy that she'd just created in her mind. She sighed and turned away from the small piece of plastic.

Later.

She'd handle it later.


A/N: See that purple button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :)