A/N Hello everyone. Thanks for the reviews I really appreciate them. So here's the second chapter which I finished sooner than I expected. I have to stay I'm really enjoying writing a fic about Spanna. It wasn't a ship I had taken interest in until recently. Hopefully you'll keep reading and reviewing (:

"I'm not going!" Spencer yelled as the insisting knocking on her bedroom door resumed. She buried her head under her pillows, covering her ears with her hands. She noticed with slight satisfaction that she couldn't hear it anymore.

It was time to go meet the shrink, but she didn't feel like it. She found the fact that the appointments were scheduled everyday instead of once a week especially annoying. She was so tired; she had enough with going to school. She hated going to school: All people ever did was stare at her like some three-legged freak. Even her teacher talked to her like she was retarded. How quick they are to forget I used to be the best of my class. On top of that she didn't need to spend her afternoons being judged and talking about her feeling. She winced at the thought.

She could go back to all that, being perfect, but it didn't make sense anymore. Not after…

The covers were suddenly yanked off of her. "What the fuck?!" she exclaimed loudly sitting up. Her bedroom door was open and standing before her bed were her mother and older sister. "What do you want?" she asked rudely glaring at them.

"You have an appointment, remember?" her mother asked angrily.

"I told you I'm not going." She answered, once again burying her head under the pillows.

"Spencer!" her mother exclaimed losing her temper, but Spencer just ignored her. She suddenly felt strong hands grasp her arms and she felt herself being yanked off her bed.

"Shit!" she yelled as she hit the floor. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Veronica just stared at her youngest daughter. "Bring her shoes and a hair comb, Melissa." The girl did as she was told, and they both began working on Spencer. Her mother took care of her shoes while her older sister fixed her hair. When they were done they pulled her to her feet.

"I can trust you to walk, can I?" her mother asked tiredly. Melissa walked out of the room and she turned to do the same. Instead of following them Spencer headed in the opposite direction to the bathroom connected to her room. A hand caught her wrist before she could cross the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" Veronica asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Spencer replied angrily, trying unsuccessfully to shake her mother's grip off.

"Spencer, stop playing around."

"Play around? I just need to use the bathroom before we go!"

The older woman narrowed her eyes. "Sure. You were probably planning on locking yourself in there to avoid your appointment, now come on." She yanked her out of the room, and Spencer rolled her eyes not bothering to assure her mother she was telling the truth. She let herself be dragged to the car and, as the car sped off and her family tried to make conversation, she willed her eyes to take that unfocused quality that kept everyone at bay. She succeeded, and the rest of the drive was spent in tense silence with not even the radio on.

As the beautiful town of Rosewood rolled by Spencer let her thoughts drift. She was sure of one thing: She hated that woman. She hated absolutely everything about her; her calm blue eyes; the gentle tone of her voice; her warm smile; her beautiful, perfectly manicured, delicate hands; her perfect hair; it all screamed fakeness to her. She probably acts all charming with all her patients. No wonder she's the best in the state she thought disdainfully. All she probably cared about was money, after all $300 an hour was kind of excessive.

As the car neared its destination, and as her thoughts kept returning to that blonde, Spencer got angrier and angrier. Who the hell was this woman? How dare she intrude and question Spencer's life? Did she really think she could just barge into it and she would receive her willingly and pour her heart out to her? She was everything she detested: Extremely good looking, charming, sweet. The way her eyes shone when she smiled, how she tucked her hair behind her ears in such a delicate gesture. She reminded her too much of-

NO! She couldn't think about it. Not now, not on her way to meet a shrink. And then there was the tone, the damned gentle, soothing tone, as if she were a beast who was about to lose it. She despised her.

All this Spencer thought, and when she arrived at her destination she had such a twisted image of the woman she was half expecting a ghoul or a demon to come out that office. They made it just in time. As soon as they got to the waiting area the door opened, revealing the woman Spencer had such a twisted image of.

"Spencer, I'm glad you came." She greeted warmly, as if she were just visiting her on a sunny spring day.

"Well, I didn't have much of a choice." She spat between clenched teeth. She immediately felt a pinch on her arm, probably from her mother.

"It's good to see you Dr. Marin." Veronica said quickly shooting and apologetic smile at her, clearly trying to redeem her daughter's behavior. Hanna just smiled back.

"Please come in, Spencer."

The brunette cast a glance back toward her mother and sister, assessing her options, trying to weight the possibility of pushing past them and escaping. She figured her chances weren't very high. "Whatever." She sighed in defeat, reluctantly going inside the office. This time she headed straight to the couch, sitting without being asked to. As the day before, Hanna took a chair and placed it beside her.

"How has your day been?" she asked, scribbling something on her notepad.

"Fine." Spencer answered monotonously.

"And school?"

"Fine."

Hanna stopped scribbling and looked at her, chuckling slightly.

"Something funny?" the brunette snapped.

"Is 'fine' going to be your answer to all my questions?" The blonde looked at her pointedly.

"Maybe." She spat, her blood boiling. Who do you think you are?

"Don't be angry." Hanna said, noting her stance. She sure angers easily "It's just that 'fine' is a sort of excuse. It's not a feeling, it doesn't tell me anything. It's just a way to politely end a conversation." Spencer didn't say anything. "I just want to know how you feel. Is it really that bad?"

Yes she wanted to answer but deep down she knew it wasn't. Nobody cared for her feelings, not her family, not her friends, not her teacher. Why would a stranger care about them? And yet it was strangely comforting. She's a shrink a voice inside her head said. It's her job to care about your feelings. It doesn't mean it's genuine. So she just glared.

The blonde looked down at her notepad, unperturbed. "Your mother called me earlier. She told me you had a small disagreement with one of your peers: Noel Kahn? I believe that's his name."

Spencer snorted: Small disagreement? She'd punched him square in the face.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" The brunette just shrugged her shoulders.

"Why bother? It doesn't change anything."

"Well for one, it sure sounds like an interesting story." Hanna said smiling, and Spencer couldn't keep a small smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth. She quickly erased and replaced it with her now trademark scowl. She fidgeted slightly; she hadn't been lying when she said she needed to use the bathroom earlier. She looked at her watch and noted with irritation that just 10 minutes had passed.

"'Have somewhere else to be?" Hanna joked seeing the younger girl check her watch more times than is permitted by the rules of etiquette.

"Funny." Spencer murmured sarcastically. She felt really tired. She suppressed a yawn but she couldn't keep her eyelids from getting as heavy as rocks. She tried rubbing the sleep out of her eyes but it didn't help much. When she looked up, Hanna was looking at her curiously. The blonde smiled.

"Want some coffee?" she asked. As much as Spencer could use the coffee she still hated the woman, and wanted nothing from her.

"No, I'm fine." She replied, stifling another yawn.

"You know, Spencer. When I first talked to your parents about you I thought I had a pretty good idea of what was going with you." She shook her head. "The way your parents described you, well, it was sort of inaccurate. It was a bit exaggerated, to be honest."

This sparked Spencer's interest, and she looked into the woman's blue eyes trying to guess the truth in all this.

"This is just our second session but-" she stopped herself, and this frustrated Spencer very much. But what? She thought.

"I don't think there is something wrong with you." Hanna said at last. Her gaze fixated somewhere beyond Spencer. "It doesn't seem a drug problem, as your parents thought. You don't seem depressed or suicidal."

The brunette felt her heartbeat increase. What if she figures it out? She thought suddenly nervous. She'd seen 3 other psychiatrists before her; none had been able to guess. But what if she did? She was the best in the state after all.

"I'm not sure about it yet, but all your symptoms indicate some kind of grief."

Spencer's eyes widened in shock. She willed her face to remain neutral but it wasn't really necessary, Hanna wasn't looking at her. The blonde lowered her voice, as if she were talking to herself.

"Funnily enough, your file doesn't mention the passing away of someone close to you. But it all makes sense; you pushing everyone away; your grades dropping; how you keep saying 'It doesn't matter', 'It doesn't change anything.' Perhaps-" Spencer suddenly stood up, effectively interrupting Hanna's rambling.

Her hands were in tight fists, her heart was pounding loudly, and her breathing came in short gasps. She could feel her hands shaking. The blonde looked at her, startled by her sudden action, and Spencer racked her brain for an excuse. She had to cover up her slip up.

"I-I need to use the bathroom." She announced, this not being entirely a lie. She braced herself for what was coming next. Hanna would probably see through her lie, realize she was onto something. She would probably demand her to sit back down and talk, and Spencer wouldn't have a choice but to reveal her deepest secret. Instead Hanna just looked at her calmly and gestured to the left.

"Through that door." Spencer stayed glued to her spot for a moment, not believing her luck. She released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and headed in the direction Hanna had indicated.

She closed the door of the bathroom and slid down to the floor. She took deep breaths as she tried to calm her pounding heart. The woman had been so close to figuring it out, perhaps she had already. Calm down she thought to herself she can't know for sure. She got up and looked at herself in the mirror; at the dark circles under her eyes; at the grim expression; at her cold eyes. After a moment, she figured she should probably go out before the blonde came banging at the door. She quickly relieved herself, and washed her hands.

As her hand grasped the doorknob she had an idea. Perhaps she should wait, see how long it would take for Dr. Marin to lose her temper. I bet if I wait long enough, her pretty smile will be replaced by a scowl she thought I wonder what she'll do when I don't come out. Maybe then she'll show her true self. So instead of going out, she sat on the floor and waited; and waited; and waited.

After about 20 boring minutes Spencer let out a frustrated sigh. How long does she plan to wait? It was clear she was avoiding the session; there was no doubt about it. So what was she waiting for? Maybe she left. But she couldn't know for sure. Finally, curiosity got the best of her and she went back out: The woman was there, sitting on her chair, scribbling on her notepad. This surprised Spencer profoundly, and she stayed where she was for a couple of minutes without comprehending. Hanna hadn't even noticed her. With her head reeling she sat back down, the crunching sound making the blonde look up.

"Are you feeling all right? You were in there pretty long." She said, and Spencer was speechless. Did she just… ask her if she was feeling okay? No lecturing? No punishment? When the brunette didn't answer she frowned. "You're not sick, are you?" Was that concern etched on her beautiful face?

Hanna suddenly got up from her chair and moved to sit beside her on the couch. She placed a hand on her forehead.

"You don't feel warm." She said, and Spencer felt something weird at her touch. Why was she worried about her? No one worried about her. Why would she care for a complete stranger? And why did she feel all warm inside?

Spencer not answering only made Hanna more anxious. "We can end the session if you're not feeling well."

Yes! A devilish voice exclaimed inside the younger girl's head. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She'd seen the expression on those blue eyes, it was real. She couldn't lie to her.

"I'm fine." She said at last.

"Are you sure?" Hanna asked, clearly not convinced.

Spencer fought the urge to roll her eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had shown any sort of concern for her and she wasn't used to it anymore. She just nodded instead. Instead of sitting back on her chair, Hanna remained where she was next to Spencer, their bodies almost touching. The brunette gulped; up this close she could smell the woman's perfume, and it was intoxicating. The blonde just stared, waiting for an answer. For once, she wanted the younger girl to break the silence, it would mean progress.

Spencer in turn looked down at her hands, trying not to squirm under the other woman's piercing gaze. The concern evident in her voice had shattered her guard, and she now felt vulnerable. She couldn't hate her anymore, as much as the voice in her head told her to.

"Why didn't you come looking for me?" she finally asked in a small voice.

This question wasn't something Hanna was expecting and, caught off guard, it took her a moment to answer. "What do you mean?"

Spencer lifted her head and looked at her. The woman immediately noticed all the anger was gone from the girl's eyes leaving in its wake something that looked a lot like grief.

"It's just that I… thought you were going to come banging at the door at the first 5 minutes of my absence."

Hanna frowned. "Well, Spencer, you haven't given me reason not to trust you." And after a while "Is that what your parents do?"

Spencer just looked at her, sadness in her eyes. "Every day. They just bang at my door and make me go to school. It's so tiring, you know. I usually can't sleep at night so all I want to do in the morning is keep on sleeping. They don't get that, they don't even say good morning or ask me how I feel or if I had a good night's sleep." Hanna kept listening not being able to tear her gaze away from those brown eyes full of hurt. "Not that I care very much but I always hear them talking shit about me to other people, and I just keep thinking that they don't even try. All they do is send me to doctors and try to medicate me but they've never pointedly asked me what's wrong."

She was now looking hard at the floor trying to contain her tears. Her face reddened slightly and she could feel a sob at the back of her throat. She hated crying in front of other people. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her arm and another one squeeze her hand reassuringly. She looked up to see bright blue eyes staring into her own. For once Dr. Marin wasn't smiling, she was dead serious.

"What happened, Spencer?" Hanna asked slowly.

Don't tell her! The voice in her head exclaimed. But Spencer wasn't so sure about her feelings anymore. Would it really be that bad? She thought. Part of her wanted to tell Dr. Marin, just spill everything out for once; take that huge weight off of her. Hanna immediately saw that some sort of inner struggle was taking place on the girl's head, so she just waited. The brunette didn't know what to do and she began to get frustrated. There were two voices in her head now, fighting to take over. In the end she decided to trust Hanna, after all she'd been nothing but nice to her.

She took a deep breath. "S-six months ago-" she began but was suddenly interrupted by urgent knocking. Hanna couldn't keep a frustrated expression from crossing her features.

"Hold that thought." She said as she got up to answer the door.

"Dr. Marin your next appointment is here." Spencer heard her secretary say. She blinked rapidly as if startled out of a trance. Those words had brought her back to reality. Was she really just about to spill her guts to Hanna? To a shrink? This was someone whom her parents were paying to "fix" her.

What was I thinking? She thought angrily. It's her job to get answers out of me. She had probably imagined the whole 'concern' thing. Hanna didn't care about her; she probably just wanted her parent's money. I'm such an idiot. She thought angrily, getting up. She was so done with everyone judging her life. Spencer could now see why the woman was the best psychiatrist in the state; she'd almost made her talk.

Hanna finished talking and turned around to find a furious Spencer.

"What's going on?" she asked utterly confused. Wasn't she about to tell me something important?

"Our time is up." She said, as she pushed past the blonde into the waiting area.

"Spencer, it's okay; I rescheduled. We can have another hour today. That is if you feel like it." She ended carefully noticing that Spencer was back to glaring at her like she wanted to rip her head off. She was very confused, she had no idea what was going on; the girl had seemed so open to talk about her feeling 5 minutes ago.

"Well, I don't feel like it." Spencer spat storming out of the building. Fuck you shrink. She thought as she stormed out. She had clearly not noticed the hurt in Hanna's eyes or the anguish in her voice.

Left alone, the blonde ran a hand over face. She walked to the couch and retrieved her notepad noting with surprise the blank page; she hadn't written anything regarding Spencer's case today. She'd been so caught up in what the girl was saying and the deep hurt in her eyes that she'd completely forgotten to take notes. She took a deep breath rubbing her eyes. Remember, Hanna: Never get emotionally involved with a patient. But there was something about this girl…