A/N: Update to the story, I'm on some writing high right now so expect the updates sooner than expected. Not the best chapter because I do find it hard to write from Meredith's POV since after the accident and I'm trying to fit this in the space after the accident part and the ending of said episode. Well, anyway, hope you like it anyway and please don't forget to review:)

Tied up in ancient history

I didn't believe in destiny

I look up you're standing next to me

What a feeling

Meredith Grey looked up at the house she called "home". It really wasn't her house, it was her mother's, but since she was dead, it was legally hers. She somehow forgot that her mother was already dead and she winced at the thought. A soft hand cupped her cheek and she turned, only to find Derek's blue eyes watching her with worry.

"Hey Mer," he asked softly as he caressed her cheek, "are you okay?" She nodded.

"I'm fine Derek." She whispered, leaning in to his warmth. Meredith couldn't believe how lucky she was to be with this man. "Come on, let's go." Derek heaved a sigh and exited the car, going around to the passenger's seat to open her door. He held his hand out and helped Meredith out, her hands holding on tightly as if she was holding onto it for life.

Derek fumbled for the keys while Meredith stood a bit off the front porch. He couldn't help but look at her concernedly, and as much as he knew Meredith didn't appreciate him looking at her like that, he just could not stop staring. He was still scrabbling with his keys and was surprised when a pair of hands wrapped themselves around his middle. He felt Meredith's face lean in to his back and he tried to turn his body to face her.

"Mer?" He could somehow feel Meredith smile behind him and she suddenly moved her position to his side. He was caught more off guard when she suddenly kissed him on the cheek. "Hmm. What was that for?" He asked, now wrapping his arm around her as they stepped inside the front door. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

Meredith just smiled. "Thank you." The two were now walking towards the living room and both bodies flopped down on the couch at the same time. Derek kissed the side of her head. "I forgot that my mother's dead. I have a dead mommy."

"Oh, Mer…" Derek tightened his grip on her waist but she just shook her head. Meredith continued. "I'm fine, it's okay. Ellis Grey is dead and I forgot about it. So, now, I have to think about what I should do with her and stuff." She said with finality in her voice. Derek just looked at her in confusion and she still sat there, a sad smile on her face and a little bit of moisture on her eyes. She was still looking at Derek in a way that just tells him, she'll be fine. Just like she always is—even when she's not.

"You don't have to deal with this right now, you know." Derek whispered as Meredith settled in his arms. She nodded. "I know. But that doesn't matter anymore, does it?" Meredith said, her sad smile changing as she continued. "So I want to forget about it. I want to move on. And I will start right now." She looked at her boyfriend, a faint twinkle in her eye. "And you, Derek Shepherd, will help me. You will feed me right now." Derek just looked dumbfounded.

"I… uh, yeah. Oh yeah." He said, blinking. He momentarily forgot that Meredith still hadn't eaten since they left the hospital, partly surprised at how fast Meredith could change topics to discuss. Grabbing the phone from the side table, he dialed the number to their favorite pizza place as he watched Meredith cross the room to dump their jackets in the hall closet. "Is pizza good, Meredith?"

"And pasta!" Meredith's voice carried across the room. She seemed to be heading up the stairs to their room and Derek merely shook his head as he stated his orders over the phone.

ooo

Thirty minutes later, the two were in bed, a half-eaten box of pizza on the bed's end and a box of pasta in Derek's hands. Meredith was laughing at Derek, spaghetti sauce covered lips and all. She liked this feeling, laughing. Yeah, it felt really good to laugh. It certainly felt better than getting water inside your lungs and feeling constricted. Or you know, seeing the spirit of your dead mother walk towards you. Or… or waking up inside a hospital trauma room feeling broken and hurt and three hundred volts of electricity just coursed through your body. Or, finally realizing that you nearly left someone who loves you so damn much…

Meredith didn't realize that she had broken down in tears, sobbing heavily as Derek took her in his arms while gently shaking her to proper sanity. His soothing voice finally broke through when she felt his hands cup her face, firm, yet gentle enough for her to know that he was there for her. She looked up and found herself staring back into his clear blue eyes. Derek rested his forehead with hers, his thumbs still wiping away the tears that were still pouring from her eyes.

"Meredith," Derek whispered softly, his breath warming her face, "Meredith. Hey… shhh. It's okay. I'm here." His arms instantly wrapped themselves around her and Meredith crashed in his strong chest, as Derek continued to calm her down.

Meredith willed her emotions to stop with no avail. She continued to sob, occasionally sending watery hiccups as Derek continued to run his hands up and down her back. In moments, Meredith was gasping for air as she felt the air crush around her, mingled with her non-stop crying. Memories from Meredith's past suddenly flooded inside her head and she tried to stop, remembering bitter glimpses of her childhood and the mother she never knew.

ooo

A little eight-year-old Meredith Grey sat alone in the front stoop of her house late in the afternoon, waiting for her mother to come home. It was getting late, the sun was beginning to set and Meredith watched as cars passed by their street, some of them getting into their driveways with fathers and mothers hurrying to meet their children by the front door. The kids, some of them of Meredith's age were jumping up and down as they barreled down the front steps, fathers catching their hyperactive sons and mothers handing their little girls a small doll to play with. At that point in time, Meredith knew how it felt to be lonely.

She had been sitting in that front stoop since she had been let out of school, and that was over three hours ago. Resting her chin on her hands, Meredith stared blankly at the small patch of earth in their lawn, picking the imaginary lint off her skirt. She wished she could've gone inside their house, with an after-school snack just like everybody else she knew. Her friends have told her about the best chocolate chip cookies they have ever tasted (each one different because everybody had a different mom), with a big glass full of milk and if they were lucky, they'd have ice cream afterwards. Sometimes, Meredith wished she could have someone bring her to the park to play after school, and she couldn't go there alone because the park was far from their house and you needed a bike to get there. Meredith didn't have a bike because her mother thought that bikes are very dangerous—something about a possible head trauma and cranial bleeding something if you hit your head on the concrete.

A small, portly woman cautiously approached the now nearly snoozing Meredith and held the little girl's chin up. "Hello there dear." The woman said, looking at the girl tenderly. Meredith looked up at the woman, instantly recognizing the huge glasses and pulled bun behind her head. "Good afternoon Mrs. Jenkins." Meredith said as she stood up from her spot.

"Have you been sitting there for hours Meredith?" She asked, looking around to see if there was any reason for Meredith to be sitting quietly alone in the front stoop. The little girl nodded. Mrs. Jenkins looked at the child, smoothing down her dirty blonde hair. "Why are you there alone?"

Meredith shrugged her small shoulders. "My mother isn't home yet."

"Oh, you poor girl. Your mother must've been stuck in the hospital with her patients." Mrs. Jenkins said, helping Meredith pick up her school bag. "Have you eaten anything yet?" Meredith shook her head. "Why don't you stay over my house for a while and get something to eat? And maybe you can take a nap because I can see that you need it."

"But my mommy might get mad if she doesn't find me waiting here." Meredith whispered in a small voice, clearly afraid of any consequences what her decision might do. Mrs. Jenkins smiled.

"Not a problem dear. We'll leave a message by your door and I'll call up your house so we can leave a message on your answering machine so that your mother will know to pick you up at my house." For the first time in hours, Meredith smiled and let herself follow their good-natured next door neighbor.

Nearly ten years after little Meredith Grey was left sitting alone in the front stoop of her house, the teenage Meredith still felt abandoned. Sitting alone with her back to her bedroom door, Meredith was crying her eyes out, her temple throbbing from all the tears shed over the past few hours. Her mother had just screamed at her for coming home with a boy from school who just wanted to help her bring home the stacks of books she brought home for that stupid research for physics class. Seriously, Meredith wanted to scream back at her, to tell her off the stupid so-called motherly love Ellis Grey knew. The boy was harmless, he was just a guy from one of her classes and she felt embarrassed for being screamed at in front of him.

"Meredith Grey, what the hell are you doing?" Ellis Grey was gripping her teenage daughter's arm, eyeing the young man following her. Meredith was trying to remove her arm from her mother's grasp, immediately dropping her backpack and the pile of books on the floor. "Who on earth is that boy following you around like a dog?"

"He's just a friend mom." Meredith said pointedly, refusing to raise her voice in front of her friend. Ellis continued to glare at the young man, "Let go of me."

"Men, Meredith. They are nothing but stupid, pathetic excuses for women to believe that life exists other than their own. You, Meredith Grey, you do not fall trap into their pleadings and promises."

Meredith wanted to disappear right on the spot. Her friend stood in the doorway, gaping at the sophisticated doctor woman that was Ellis Grey, and the troubled girl he met in school. Apparently, Ellis' continuous assault over men was far from over, and she didn't care if she had to insult her own daughter in front of her friend.

"I don't know what you see in this boy Meredith. Although, he does look smart, however, he is still a boy. Ordinary, just like everyone else. You, Meredith, you should not be ordinary like the people around you. Because you should be better, not typical… like them."

"Mom—shut…"

"You see what men really do Meredith? Look at your father! He left me for whatever goddamned reason he wanted to do with his life. And Richard left me. And so I don't believe in men. You do not go out of this house to look for men, Meredith, whoever said that you'll find your destiny in the future is lying. They are nothing but lies, excuses for not wanting to be better."

The boy who helped Meredith bring home her books had already left, willing himself to get away from the tension-filled household. He sure wouldn't come by to help her anytime soon though. Meredith finally twisted herself away from her mother's death grip and faced her, fire burning in her eyes.

"MOM! Look, I do not care about how pathetic your life is because every man you've been with left you! I don't care about the reasons why they found someone else better than you. I don't want you to keep yelling at me for the stupid, crappy things that happen to you because I don't want you to ruin what little hope I have in life without you in it!" Meredith was yelling, tears slowly creeping in the corners of her eyes. Her knuckles were turning white, and she didn't expect the sudden blow of pain in her left cheek. Ellis Grey had slapped her daughter and Meredith stormed up to her room, slamming the doors and never looking back down.

"YOU DO NOT YELL AT ME MEREDITH GREY! YOU DO NOT ANSWER BACK TO ME!" It was the last that Meredith heard before she broke down inside her bedroom.

ooo

"Breathe Mer, please breathe." Derek whispered in her ear as she continued to gasp for air between sobs. He knew full well that Meredith's condition wasn't any better since they left the hospital as she was still pretty weak from the ordeal a few days ago, and he was praying that he didn't have to bring her to the hospital for anxiety attacks. "Meredith, relax. Come on, I'm here. You're safe with me, Mer."

Meredith looked up, the tears in her eyes creating a blurry image of Derek in front of her. New images flashed inside her head, only… it was the day she drowned. Or died. Or whatever near-death experience people believed in.

ooo

Meredith looked around the water surrounding her, her limbs struggling to swim and keep herself afloat. She doesn't remember how she got here, all she knows was that she had to get out, she needs air, and she needs to get back to the hospital. 'The hospital?' She thought blindly, her legs still kicking with all the energy she had left in her. 'Why would I want to go back to the hospital? That's where my mother is.' And Meredith stopped swimming for a second, images of her mother instantly began to change into Derek's face... and Cristina's and Izzie's and George's and Alex's… and… damn it! Meredith tried to force her limbs to work again, but they have seized up and the water started to creep inside her and she couldn't breathe, the pressure was crushing her lungs… and she felt like going deeper… deeper…

She saw Derek. Even with the eerie glow the water cast around her, Meredith still saw Derek, his face contorted in determination to save her. She doesn't remember if Derek was the one to pull her hand up, or if she had tried to reach up to him. All she knew was Derek's presence above her, saving her, bringing her back to life. And you know, she felt like she still had hope. Her mother wasn't right about everything; she was pretty sure about that, because her mother didn't meet anybody who was like Derek. Her mother didn't have her own knight in shining whatever.

Meredith knew she was still alive. For some weird reason, she knew it was near impossible but she could hear the people around her. She heard Derek sputtering the moment he pulled her out and she felt air, she heard the people scramble around her and she felt Derek perform CPR on her. So technically, she was dead. Part-dead? She didn't know. But she always felt Derek around her. She knew Derek was there for her, standing over her, protecting her.

So, is this the moment of truth when you finally realize what love really is?

ooo

Derek felt helpless as he watched Meredith break down in front of him. He wanted to take away all this pain, all the tears that never seemed to go away. Smoothing her hair away from her face, Derek leaned in close, their foreheads touching. Meredith's sobs seemed to have subsided and taking the chance, he kissed her softly on the lips, with Meredith reciprocating back as much as her energy could handle.

"Derek…" Meredith whispered as they both pulled back from the kiss. Her eyes were still closed and their foreheads still leaning into one another, Meredith's voice was the only sound in the breaking silence that enveloped the both of them. "Derek, you're my knight in shining whatever. Thank you, I needed the saving."