Rory watched silently, as tears continued to pour down her cheeks. She watched as Logan held their baby, staring at him, as if trying to memorize his features. It was understandable. From this moment on, their time with their baby was extremely limited. They'd probably get two or three days at the most. After that, they'd have to lay him down to rest. And she and Logan would have to return to an empty house. An empty nursery that was meant to be used by a baby that would never come. A baby they would never get to take home with them. A baby they'd never get to watch grow up.
Logan lifted his eyes back to Rory, and for the first time she could see the pain in them. She recognized all the emotions she was feeling in his eyes. She wanted to scream. To bury her face in her pillow and scream at the top of her lungs. She couldn't understand why this had happened. What had gone wrong?
Logan moved towards her, with Eli still wrapped in his arms, and leaned over her. He softly placed the baby on the bed, as Rory moved to lie on her side, and both of them spent the next ten minutes or so simply contemplating their child, until Doctor Callahan softly coughed, announcing her presence.
"Mr. and Mrs Huntzberger, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you but we need to begin filling out the birth certificate. A nurse will be here shortly to ask you some questions and to take the baby so that he can be measured and weighed, ok?" Doctor Callahan asked in a soft voice. Both Rory and Logan nodded their heads, as they seemed unable to speak. A few minutes later, a nurse with short brown hair appeared with what seemed to be some sort of form and began asking them some questions. Then she asked to take Eli, and Logan slowly lifted him from the bed and placed him in the nurse's arms.
"Will you bring him back once you're done?" asked Rory in a shaky voice.
"Yes, don't worry. They're just going to take some measurements and clean him up a bit, and then they'll bring him back. In the meantime, we're going to clean you up so that we can wheel you back to your room" replied Doctor Callahan.
"I'm going to make some calls, ok? Your mom, my parents, Honor," asked Logan. Rory nodded her head and he left the room. He spotted a payphone and headed over. He decided to call Lorelai first.
"Dragonfly Inn, this is Lorelai speaking. How may I help you?" he heard Lorelai answer after a few rings.
"Lorelai, it's Logan." She must have sensed something was wrong, judging by his tone of voice.
"Hey kid, everything ok?" she asked, concerned.
"I'm at Saint Francis Hospital, with Rory," he paused, maybe because he was waiting for a reply, maybe because his voice was beginning to break.
"Oh my God! Is it time? Is she in labor?" she asked excitedly. "I can't believe it's time already, I thought she wasn't due for another three weeks-" She was beginning to ramble so Logan cut her off before she could continue.
"Lorelai!" he exclaimed, effectively cutting her off. "Rory was admitted this morning. She noticed Eli hadn't been moving for a while, so she came in for a check up." He stopped again.
"And?" asked Lorelai, already fearing her son in law's answer.
"He died, Lore." He began silently crying, the emotions overwhelming him.
"Oh God, Logan." Lorelai's voice was breaking too. She couldn't believe this had happened. Rory's pregnancy had been going so smoothly. It was unthinkable.
"We decided to have the baby today," he continued a minute later. "They gave Rory some drugs to help speed up the process, and she gave birth about an hour ago"
"How's Rory?" By now, Lorelai was in tears herself.
"She's holding up as best as she can. I'm sure she'd love to have you here. You should see him, he's beautiful."
"I'll be there as soon as I can," Lorelai replied firmly. "And Logan?" she asked just as he was about to hang up.
"Yeah?" he answered.
"I'm so sorry, honey." She sounded as though she was sobbing. He couldn't blame her. He wanted to break down in tears himself.
"I am too," he said before hanging up.
Logan took a deep breath and dialled a new number. "Hello?" He heard a man answer.
"Dad?" Logan choked out.
"Logan?" Mitchum asked, and Logan couldn't help but notice how genuinely concerned he sounded.
"Yeah, it's me," replied Logan. He didn't even know where to begin telling his father what'd happened.
"What is it son?" asked his father.
"I'm at Saint Francis, Dad. With Rory." He was once again unable to continue.
"What's the matter Logan?" By now, Mitchum was 100% sure something was wrong. There had to be something wrong for Logan to call him the way he did.
"My son died. He died, Dad. We have no idea what went wrong, it just….happened," he finished. Mitchum had never heard his son cry the way he was crying right now.
"You're at Saint Francis, right?" Mitchum asked, while getting up and ready to leave the office and head to the hospital.
"You don't have to come, I know how busy you are-" Logan began to say but Mitchum interrupted him.
"Nonsense, Logan. I'll be there in ten minutes," he said before hanging up. Logan contemplated making another call. Perhaps he'd call Honor. Or Colin. After a few minutes he decided not to call anyone else. Calling Lorelai and his father had been hard enough.
About fifteen minutes later, Logan found himself sitting by Rory's bed. After they had finished, they wheeled her back to her room and not too long after that, they brought Eli back and placed him inside a small bassinet beside Rory's bed. Rory had finally fallen asleep not long after they brought her back and so Logan found himself leaning over his son's bassinet, softly stroking his cheek. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice his father had arrived. Mitchum cleared his throat softly, and Logan finally noticed him standing by the door. Neither of them said anything; for a few seconds both men stared at each other silently. Then Mitchum took a few steps forward so as to get a glimpse of his first grandson. Logan leaned back in his chair and allowed his father to look at his son.
"He's beautiful, Logan," Mitchum said. He sounded sincere, troubled, sad even. It was strange, but somehow Logan felt a tiny bit better at his father's display of emotion. Not that he truly wanted his father to feel bad, but the fact that he cared made Logan feel better.
"He looks like you when you were born," Mitchum continued softly. "He has your nose, your hair, your lips."
"He has Rory's eyes, though," was the first thing Logan said to his father since his arrival. "Exactly like Rory's."
"I don't know what to say." Mitchum looked down, almost ashamed at the fact that he didn't know what to say to his own son.
"You don't have to say anything," said Logan and they fell back into a somewhat comfortable silence for the first time ever; both of them staring at Eli as though he were sleeping. "I appreciate this. You being here," Logan continued, not meeting his father's eyes.
"I wanted to see him. And you- both of you. " Mitchum's eyes drifted to Rory's sleeping figure. "Take as much time as you need, before going back to work. Just let me know when you're ready," he said. Logan silently nodded his head. "I should go now." He made a move towards the door. He was just about to leave, when he said, "I'm sorry, Logan," and with that he exited the room.
Logan remained in his position for about another 45 minutes, before he noticed Rory moving. At first he thought she was stirring, but he faintly heard her muttering things he couldn't comprehend. Once he took a closer look at his wife, he realized she was sweating. He pressed a hand against one of her cheeks and noticed her body was very cold. Her movements had increased, and she was now tossing and turning, a look of pure angst on her face. She was having a nightmare. Logan stood up and gently grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, so as to wake her up.
"Rory," he called firmly a few times before finally succeeding. She opened her eyes and stared at him, clearly confused. It took her a few seconds before comprehension dawned on her. She sat up, breathing heavily while Logan watched her with a worried expression on his face. She noticed the bassinet at her side and made a move to lift Eli, but clearly her body was still sore from the birth and she grimaced. Logan took in her painful expression and lifted Eli from the bassinet and placed him in Rory's arms. He sat on her bed and they remained quietly staring at their son.
"We should probably start talking, about…arrangements and stuff," Rory stumbled, not taking her eyes off of Eli.
"Like what?" he asked, running a hand softly down her cheeks. She looked up to see him staring lovingly at her.
"I've been thinking…" she trailed off.
"About what?" he asked. He didn't know what came over him, but after the last few hours they had gone through, seeing Rory with his son in her arms, their son, he felt a whole new level of love and respect for his wife. This whole ordeal had been torture for him; he could only imagine what it was like for Rory. She was the one who had carried their son, had to give birth to him even after knowing his little heart was no longer beating. He leaned over and placed a firm kiss on her lips; one that conveyed all his love for her. He pulled away and smiled softly at her.
"About christening him," she continued. "I know we're not exactly religious, and your family is Episcopalian but I thought it'd be nice-" Logan cut her off with another soft kiss.
"I think it's a good idea," he said. "We can have a small ceremony; just us, your mom, my parents, your grandparents, if you'd like," he added. He wasn't sure how big or small of a ceremony she had in mind.
"That'd be nice," she concluded.
They quickly began making arrangements and within the hour they had settled everything. They had decided to do it as soon as possible; they had arranged for a priest to perform the ceremony the following day at the hospital's chapel. Logan had called the elder Gilmores and informed them of what had happened and asked them to attend the christening. Then he placed a call to his father and informed him of the ceremony. After that he called Colin and told him everything. To say his friend had been in shock over the news was an understatement. Colin offered Logan his most sincere condolences and told him he would fill Finn in. Once Lorelai arrived, and after she had seen and held Eli, and cried too, she went back to Logan and Rory's place to get them both a few changes of clothes and some clothes for Eli as well.
The following day, Rory found herself sitting sideways on the bed, already changed into a proper outfit for the ceremony. It was a black, strapless, knee length dress, with a belted waist. Logan was wearing a dark, three button suit with a white shirt underneath and a black tie. They had just finished bathing Eli for the first time and had dressed him in a three piece, white, cotton knit set which consisted of a pant, top and vest.
Once they were ready to go, Logan and Rory, who was holding Eli, headed to the chapel where the rest of the family and friends awaited along with the priest. The chapel had been adorned with some flowers, courtesy of Emily Gilmore, no doubt.
The priest had them all gather around a small stone basin, and began by saying a few words about the meaning of christening. He then went on to rub a bit of scented oil on Eli's forehead as part of the ritual. After that, he asked Logan and Rory to both hold Eli over the basin as he applied water to Eli's head and said, "I baptize you in the name of The Father, and of The Son, and of The Holy Spirit." After this, Rory used a small white cloth to dry Eli's forehead. As Logan held Eli, the priest invited them to say a prayer in Eli's behalf.
About an hour later, Rory had settled in her room once again. Even though Doctor Callahan had given her clearance to go home, Rory and Logan decided to stay a few more days. They had to decide whether they wanted an autopsy to be performed so as to determine the cause of death. Even though they undoubtedly wanted some answers as to why this had happened, to be able to move on and also to try and prevent something like this should they decide to have another child later on, they felt very reluctant to put Eli through it. In the end, after much discussion, they agreed to allow an autopsy. And so they would stay in the hospital until it was completed. A small funeral service would take place after that and then it would be time for them to say goodbye to their child.
