Episode 1: The Chase Begins

On the stage of the Aftermath studio stands Chef Hatchet, facing the twenty contestants of the new season of Total Drama. "Okay, let's refresh the audience's memory," said Chef. "Chris has been horribly torturing these guys for the last eighteen months, now they want revenge."

"Really? You're just gonna summarise two whole seasons in a single sentence?" asked Wallace.

"What are you gonna do about it?" asked Chef.

"The better question is: would he do anything about it if he could?" asked Katniss.

"No, the better question is: shouldn't we be chasing Chris before he gets any further away?" asked Artemis.

"No worries there," said Chef. "He forgot something he can't live without."

"What, you mean like an asthma inhaler?" asked Marty.

"Nope," said Chef. "His moisturiser."

Twenty pairs of eyes stared at him in disbelief. "You're not serious," said Peter.

"Shh," said Chef. "Just watch."

Seconds later, Chris ran onstage, and stopped when he saw them. "Hey, have any of you seen my moisturiser?" asked Chris.

"Sorry Chris," said Chef.

"Damn," said Chris, running offstage.

"What the hell Chef? Why didn't you stop him?" demanded Finn.

"Because one hundred and ninety three words is hardly a whole season," said Chef. "So, your first challenge is to find Chris's moisturiser, and give it to me."

"Shouldn't we be in teams?" asked Dorothy.

"Does it matter?" asked Chef.

"Like, wouldn't that help figure out who to vote off at the end of the show?" asked Shaggy.

Chef sighed. "Okay fine," he said. Chef walked up to the group, and split them down the middle. "There, teams," said Chef.

"What about names?" asked Lyra.

"You people are insufferable," said Chef. "Fine, the ones on my left are the Raging Pelicans, on my right the Psycho Squirrels." On Chef's left were Ayane, Finn, Jake, Katniss, Lyra, Marty, Max, Peter, Saeko and Shaggy; on his right were Artemis, Blossom, Dorothy, Gary, Hit Girl, Kenny, Noodle, Nora, Patrick and Wallace. "Now go."

"Come on guys, this way," said Blossom, calling for her teammates to follow.

"Who put you in charge?" asked Patrick.

"I was the leader of my team of superheroes back in New Townsville," said Blossom.

"Ooh, I was a member of a team of heroes back in Remnant," said Nora.

"That's so cool. Maybe we can have a new super team amongst ourselves," said Blossom. "Now, we need a third member."

"My team had four members," said Nora.

"Well, I'm the leader, and I want three," said Blossom. "How about you little girl? You're a superhero right?"

"Try and recruit me and I'll slit your *beep* throat, ear to ear," said Hit-Girl.

"Did . . . did that little girl just say . . ." started Dorothy in shock.

"Yeah, she does that a lot," said Wallace. "Best to not provoke her, since I'm pretty sure she means it."

"Ooh, I like that," said Gary.

"She's eleven. She's too young for you," said Noodle.

"So?" asked Gary. The rest of his team looked at him in shock. "I'm kidding, jeez."

"Uh, guys?" said Artemis. "Don't we have a challenge to win?"

"Oh, right," said Blossom. "Me, Nora, and Hit-Girl . . ."

"I'm not joining you," said Hit-Girl.

"Fine. Your loss," said Blossom. "Me, Nora and Noodle a.k.a. The Powerpuff Girls 2.0 will go this way; Kenny, Wallace and Artemis go that way . . ."

"What about the rest of us?" asked Dorothy.

"Just . . . start looking, okay?" said Blossom, dashing away with her team.

The rest of her team stared after her. "Mmf mmf mmf," said Kenny.

"You said it kid," said Patrick, leaving with his group.

Meanwhile, with the Raging Pelicans . . .

"Okay, if I were a moisturiser, where would I be?" asked Jake.

"The most obvious place would be his dressing room," said Saeko. "I say we start there."

"Surely he already checked there," said Ayane. "I say we . . ."

"Split up and search for clues?" suggested Shaggy.

Ayane glared at him. "How'd you know I'd say that?" she asked.

"I've done it once or twice," said Shaggy.

"I say we do it," said Max. "I'll be with Lyra. Anyone else?"

"I'll come with you," said Finn.

"Me too," said Jake.

"Finn and Jake, huh?" said Lyra. "And it's TIME for an ADVENT . . ."

"No, we are not making that joke," said Katniss. "I'll take Peter and Shaggy, which leaves . . ."

"Me, Saeko and Marty," said Ayane.

"You're gonna leave me with the purple haired psychopaths?" demanded Marty.

"Maybe you shouldn't have allied yourself with Light," said Katniss, leaving with her team.

"You're still bitter about that?" asked Marty, before facing the girls. "So . . ."

"Psychopaths, eh?" said Saeko.

"You're gonna regret that," said Ayane, grinning diabolically with Saeko. Marty gulped.

Meanwhile, with Team Blossom . . .

"Where do you think it is?" asked Noodle.

"Obviously his dressing room," said Blossom.

"Wouldn't that be the first place Chris would look?" asked Nora.

"But where else would it be?" said Blossom.

"Chef probably knew that Chris wouldn't go anywhere without it, and hid it somewhere he wouldn't look," said Noodle.

"So . . . the intern's dressing room?" said Nora.

"Exactly," said Noodle. "Come on Blossom."

"Hold on," said Blossom. "I'm the leader, and I say we check Chris's dressing room."

"But . . ." started Nora.

"No buts," said Blossom, heading towards Chris's dressing room.

"I think I want to mutiny," said Noodle, following.

Meanwhile in the intern's dressing room . . .

"Found it," called Peter.

"Are you sure it's his?" asked Shaggy.

"Well, it says 'Chris's moisturiser *beep* off don't touch', so yeah I think so," said Peter.

"Thank you for that," said a voice behind them. The three of them turned to see Hit-Girl charge into the room.

Katniss drew her knife in defence. "Peter, get back to Chef," she yelled as Hit-Girl struck her.

Peter ran towards the door, ducking past Hit-Girl, when Patrick appeared from nowhere. "I'll take that," he said, carefully taking the bottle. Just as he was turning out of the room, Shaggy ran past and grabbed the moisturiser out of his hand. Gary and Dorothy tried to tackle him, but he was too quick. Shaggy ran past a doorway, and was tackled by Kenny. Shaggy tripped, and dropped the bottle at Artemis's feet.

"Ah, perfect," said Artemis, turning around and heading back to the stage. Before he'd taken two steps, he was suddenly lifted into the air.

"You have something I want," said Max, snatching the bottle from Artemis.

"Too bad I want it too," said Artemis, managing to slap it out of Max's hand. Unfortunately, it went straight into the claws of an eagle.

"Good work Pan," called Lyra from below. Suddenly, a purple blur darted past her and was climbing up to where Pan was. Closer examination revealed it was Hit-Girl, who had managed to evade Katniss just enough to reach the door and dash through it. Hit-Girl flew through the air, and snatched the bottle from Pan's claws before landing on an overhead gangway.

Hit-Girl began to run, when suddenly her way was blocked by Ayane. Hit-Girl turned around to see Saeko blocking the other way. "Alright, bring it *beep*," said Hit-Girl, drawing out her katanas.

Saeko drew his wooden kendo sword and struck at Hit-Girl, who blocked it easily. Ayane, attempted a back attack, but Hit-Girl ducked out of the way. Ayane and Saeko kept Hit-Girl surrounded, but Hit-Girl kept holding them at bay. "Damn it Marty, why don't you help out?" asked Ayane.

"Not sure if you've noticed, but she has two very sharp looking swords," said Marty. "Given that I am not only a non-fighter, but also unarmed, I'm not sure how much I can do."

"You can move out of my way, for one thing," said someone. Marty turned just in time to get Nora's hammer to the face. "You were having fun without me? That is so rude."

"Hey, at least I saved some for you," said Hit-Girl. "Now, which one do you want?"

"I'll take the one in the white hat," said Nora.

"What one in a white hat?" asked Hit-Girl, just as Nora blocked an attack from Finn. Finn swung again, but again Nora blocked it. Saeko and Ayane both joined the assault when Noodle jumped over Hit-Girl and Nora's heads and clotheslined them. Finn turned around to attack when Noodle kicked him hard in the chest.

"Quick, throw it to Blossom," called Noodle, pointing upwards. Hit-Girl saw Blossom, and threw her the moisturiser.

Ayane recovered herself, and saw Blossom grab the moisturiser. Without wasting a minute, Ayane jumped up and grabbed hold of her leg. Blossom, shocked at the sudden weight attached to her, dropped the bottle. Looking down, she felt great relief. "Wallace, quick, grab the bottle," called Blossom.

The bottle hit the ground at Wallace's feet and began to roll away. "Grab what?" he called, just as Jake ran past and grabbed the moisturiser himself, before heading straight to Chef.

"Congratulations to the Raging Pelicans," said Chef. "You win today's challenge. You will not be eliminating anyone today. As for the Psycho Squirrels, you'll be sending someone home. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some important business to attend to." Chef walked offstage and into the nearest bathroom. "Oh Chris, look what I found," he called.

Chris poked his head in to see Chef holding his moisturiser. "Oh good, you found . . . WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" cried Chris as Chef started flushing it down the toilet. "My moisturiser is not this show. It does not belong in there." Chris wiped away a tear, and then ran off.

Confession Cam: Hit-Girl

"That *beep* Wallace cost us the challenge. He needs to go."

Confession Cam: Dorothy

"Sorry Wallace, but you have to admit, you're kind of useless."

Confession Cam: Wallace

"Clearly this is all Blossom's fault. She should have known I'm not here to be helpful."

Later, at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Okay, I can't be bothered explaining how this works, so here's who's safe," said Chef. "Artemis, Nora, Patrick, Dorothy, Hit-Girl, Noodle, Gary, Kenny, and Blossom." As Chef said each name, a marshmallow was thrown to them.

"Hey, wait, that's nine names," said Wallace.

"Yep," said Chef.

"And I wasn't one of them," said Wallace.

"Yep," said Chef.

"Aren't you meant to build the suspense by withholding two names and then revealing the loser?" asked Wallace.

"*beep* that, I want to show you how we're eliminating you this season," said Chef, pulling out a large mallet. "Say hello to the Whack of Shame." With that, Chef smacked Wallace straight into the stage, leaving nothing but his head above ground. Chef turned to a camera. "So, where will we be going next? Stay tuned for the next Total Drama Catch Him If You Can."