Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters were created by René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo.
Chapter One
It was a dark night in the little Gaulish village we all know so well. All Gauls were sleeping peacefully in their huts.
Asterix wasn't an exception. However, he was having a very special dream at the moment…
The little Gaul was sitting on a rock when some insignificant man came up to him.
"Listen, Asterix," he said. "I know you don't recognize me but I'm Toutatis, one of your gods. I made a bet with Jupiter so I have to stop protecting you for a while. It was nice of Zeus to become our judge, by the way. He's a good guy, I shouldn't have offended him… But that means nothing to you, of course. I must win, and you must do your best for it. Got it? Great! And I should be off now!" And the weird chatty man disappeared, not letting Asterix say a word.
The first Asterix's thought when he woke up was "What a strange dream!" He was still chuckling softly, leaving his hut. The morning was sunny. It was going to be a wonderful day.
* * *
Jupiter was smiling in delight. He would have never agreed to bet unless he was certain about his victory. And now he was more than certain. He couldn't do anything to this Gaul who was now on a special account. However, some of the other Gauls (oddly enough, this spell didn't work with all of them) would experience the effects of his trick soon…
* * *
Asterix stood on his doorstep, thinking whether to do the sweeping now or to postpone it for later when he heard some dreadful noise. It felt like someone was driving piles right into his brain.
"Cacofonix!" Fulliautomatix's voice sounded. "This is beyond any sense!"
"You barbarian!" Cacofonix snorted in his usual manner. "It's my new "Ode to Dawn"!"
"I don't care!" the blacksmith replied. "Sing your odes somewhere else or you will not see the sunset, not to mention the next dawn!"
Cacofonix took his lyre, climbed down the tree his hut was on and went to the forest. "Nobody will disturb me there," he thought.
Asterix just shook his head – such quarrels had happened so many times already, and still nothing had changed. However, now he had some kind of a nasty feeling. And the reason was that stupid dream!
Asterix's thoughts were interrupted when Obelix came, followed by his little Dogmatix.
"Good morning, Asterix," the well-covered Gaul said cheerfully.
"Hello, Obelix," the little warrior answered. "Are we going hunting today?"
"Sure, I just need to go to my quarry first. I must deliver a couple of menhirs to Vitalstatistix".
"Okay," Asterix nodded. So he would have some time to do the sweeping… He was doing that housework when Impedimenta came up to him.
"Good morning!" she greeted. "Why is it so quiet here? Where are Cacofonix's songs?"
"You see," Asterix started. He wasn't chatty at all but it was so nice to distract a little. "As usual, Fulliautomatix…"
"Aha!" a sharp voice intruded. "Got you both now!"
Asterix and Impedimenta turned their heads almost simultaneously to see an outraged Vitalstatistix.
"What do you mean?" Asterix didn't understand what was going on at all. Impedimenta seemed to be at the same state.
"And don't mess me about!" the chief yelled. "I saw you cooing here! I will not stand betrayal in my family!"
"WHAT? But…" Asterix and Impedimenta started objecting. "How can he think about such things?!" Asterix felt extremely insulted.
"I don't want to hear anything!" Vitalstatistix turned red with rage. "Asterix! You are sentenced to the supreme penalty – you're banished! Get lost, now!"
Hearing the noise, almost all villagers, including Getafix, ran to them. Obelix was nowhere to be seen, though, - he probably didn't hear the noise at his quarry. Asterix had to obey the chief's will, even though he still didn't understand why he was being treated like that. It was a pity he didn't have any magic potion left. Anyway, he felt relieved to know that at least his sword with him.
"Are you REALLY not guilty?" Getafix asked strictly when Asterix was passing him. In response, the convict gave him a look which made the druid fall silent at once.
"It's strange then… some kind of illusion or something," Getafix muttered. "Let me give you a piece of advice: don't go far from the village, it must be over soon. I'm sorry I have no magic potion now, so be careful".
So, Asterix was banished from the village… again. Only that the hope to come back had never looked so ghostlike before. In his soul there were the feelings of insult, anger at the chief, and some sort of perplexity: the entire situation was very weird. He exited the village and went to the forest in dismay.
