Chapter 2: Traumas

She had nothing. No memories, no heart, no name. Just a number: thirteen.

The thirteenth dark vessel.

The sun beat down overhead, making her uncomfortably hot in her heavy black coat. There was a breeze but it offered no solace from the heat; it was dry and warm, carrying nothing but dust and sand with it. In fact it was nothing but dust and sand for miles around. Beneath her hood she carefully glanced left and right, but could see nothing except for the badlands that stretched on and on into the horizon. Behind the dust blowing in the wind, the air above the wastes seemed to ripple from the heat. This world was dead. It made her feel like she was the only person in all of existence.

She stood there, unmoving, in the middle of the badlands for so long that she lost track of time. But this didn't bother her, for she had no heart to be bothered with. Only an empty puppet, created to serve as the final piece of a puzzle that would fall into place and fulfill a plan decades in the making. But as she stood there, as the sun began to fall and the sky shifted from blue to orange, something shifted inside of her. Recognition. Standing here, in the center of thirteen stone pillars, caused a sense of familiarity. But it was stomped out by the nothingness within her, gone from her thoughts as suddenly as it had come.

"Today is a momentous day."

A voice rang out over the emptiness, the first sound besides the blowing wind that she had heard in what felt like years. It was an old voice, heavy from the weight of a long life and many experiences, but still only a candle to the bonfire that was the badlands' age. She glanced up in the direction of the speaker, and suddenly found herself surrounded. Figures in black stood atop twelve of the thirteen pillars, having made no sound to announce their arrival. Rather, it was as though they had always been there even though she knew that not to be the case.

The one who had spoken stood on the tallest pillar, directly in front of her. The only one without the black coat. She craned her neck to make eye contact with him. With his hands resting behind his back, he looked down at her with a smile and one raised eyebrow. She had never laid eyes on this man before, but she knew who and what he was. This wicked man's heart beat steadily inside her hollow chest.

"Let us all welcome one of the Keyblade's chosen."

Some welcome. There was no applause, not even words from the others. But she hadn't expected any. She didn't deserve any. Slowly she turned in a circle, looking up at the cold gazes of the twelve. The man with the long blond hair, the only one among them whom she had seen before this moment, had a grin on his face that somehow exceeded the old man's, but like the rest he said nothing. Her gaze lingered on a man with blue hair whose expression was the most unreadable of all. Once more she thought she sensed something familiar, and once more it was quickly stomped out.

That was where her existence in that empty world truly began. The others were not always as quiet as that first meeting, but she always was. The others had memories, they had hearts. Things she lacked. But she was not supposed to have them in the first place. She was the thirteenth vessel and nothing more, created specifically for the quickly approaching promised day. When the man with pink hair and woman with blonde hair laughed as they made her run errands, she felt nothing. When the blue-haired man or the man with one eye watched her with unreadable expressions, she felt nothing. When the gambler and the musician invited her to play a game of cards with them, she felt nothing.

She had nothing to feel with in the first place, after all.

Sometimes the others would disappear for days at a time, assigned to one world or another for the old man's schemes. But for her, the earliest she could remember leaving the wastes was different. The old man's right hand, an imposing figure with an even more imposing voice, had taken her through the darkness to a forest with a spring of crystal clear water. She stood still and silent, staring at the surface, until the man – in a completely emotionless tone – ordered her to bathe and wash her clothing. She glanced down at her black coat, stained brown by dirt and dust, and complied. In the water she saw her reflection for the first time. Short silver hair and empty golden eyes stared back at her as she robotically went through the motions.

But empty though she was, her body needed rest. And when she slept on the hard earth of the badlands, she would have dreams. Dreams of a blond boy.

In the badlands, somewhere amongst the rugged mountains, the two of them stood across from each other. He stumbled, his weapon disappearing in a flash of light. Hers soon did the same. He leaned forward with one hand on his knee, the other holding his face. Between his fingers eyes as clear and blue as the water of that spring stared back at her.

Something inside her stirred. A duty compelled her forward.

She approached the boy slowly. "I'm so glad you finally remembered." Her voice didn't match the words; she spoke as stoically as the man who had brought her to that other world.

She gently reached up and removed the boy's hand from his face, cradling it in her own, their fingers intertwining. Her other hand brushed against his cheek. Her thumb wiped away dirt that had found its way there during their battle. Had they had a battle?

"I…"

The boy's voice trailed off as she moved closer to him, pressed her body against his. The compulsion inside her grew stronger as she met his gaze, her golden eyes locking with his deep blue ones. She saw her reflection in the waters once again. The boy stuttered, but made no other action. He was frozen in place, exactly as she wanted.

Exactly as the darkness commanding her very being wanted.

She brushed his cheek again, stood up on the tips of her toes…and pressed her lips against his. The boy gasped and tried to pull back, but a squeeze of his hand stopped him. He pushed against him further and smiled as his eyes – once as wide as saucers – now became distant as his eyelids drooped. She slowly guided his hand to her chest, then his other to her back. Only then did she break the kiss. Still pressed up against him, she gently moved her other hand off his face and brushed her fingers against his shoulders before pulling back to help him with the zipper of her coat.

"We'll have to make sure that you don't forget me ever again."

The black coat fell to the bleak earth. His arms wrapped around her, pulled her closer, and she pressed her lips against his once again. The darkness within her compelled her further, and she grinned as the boy's half-open eyes began to change hue.

x-x-x

Xion eyes snapped open in a cold sweat. Where was she? Darkness was all around her, closing in– She stopped. Breathed. Her bedroom, Twilight Town. The lights were just off, that was all. Xion slowly pushed herself up. The sheets fell to the side, and she reached for the lamp on her bedside dresser. When the soft glow lit up this little corner of the room, she picked up a small mirror and nervously peered inside it. A sigh of relief followed soon after; blue, not gold. Xion fell back onto her pillow with the mirror clutched against her chest.

Those dreams again.

Nightmares of her time in the second Organization XIII, of her time as nothing but a puppet for Xehanort's machinations, had been plaguing Xion ever since she had been recompleted. She'd lost track of how many times she had woken up in the middle of the night like this. What's worse, that…interaction…with Roxas hadn't been something spurred on by her subconscious. Of course not, why couldn't it be something as simple as normal teenager problems? Not that she even liked Roxas that way. But no – that scenario, and others like it, were recurring dreams she had had while under Xehanort's control. Clearly he had been trying to convince her to drag her friends down into darkness as well.

A knock on her bedroom door. Xion jumped, and the mirror clattered to the floor. The door creaked open a crack. "Xion? I heard you crying out in your sleep, is everything okay?"

Xion breathed out. It was just Roxas. It was a wonder this was only the first time he'd heard her, considering how she had these nightmares so often. She must have been crying especially loudly this time. Xion forced the memory of that last dream into the back of her mind and spoke up. "I am, yeah. Just a nightmare."

Despite her assurance, Roxas didn't leave; if anything, he looked more concerned now than before. He stepped inside her room and closed the door behind him. "If it was just a nightmare I don't think you'd look so stressed out. Do you want to talk?"

Xion couldn't help but smile. She couldn't get anything past him, could she? Roxas had definitely become more aware since they were recompleted. Xion brushed some hair out of her eyes. "…Sure. It might do some good to get things off my chest for once, actually."

Roxas snickered, which Xion returned awkwardly as she once again pushed herself up into a sitting position. Oh, the mirror. She picked it up off the floor and set it back down on the bedside table, then turned to Roxas who had sat down at the foot of her bed. "So what are these nightmares about?"

Xion pulled her legs up to her chest. "The Keyblade Graveyard," she admitted softly.

Roxas's face fell. He recovered quickly, but Xion definitely noticed that brief shift in expression. The entire incident that they, that no one really, had spoken of much in the weeks since it happened. She had no doubt it was on everyone else's mind as much as hers, though. "In what way?"

Xion took a deep breath. "Of the days before the final battle. When I was…" she reached for a word to use. "…Norted." It was a term Demyx had come up with, the last time she saw him in Radiant Garden.

"Xion…" Roxas reached forward and placed his hand over hers. "I know those were dark times, but they're over now."

"I know. But it's really hard to– Roxas, listen. I know we have a lot in common, but that's something you never experienced before. Being a puppet, I mean."

"I haven't, no. But if you want to tell me, maybe I can try to understand."

Xion took in a deep breath. For all that these thoughts had been bothering her since she was recompleted, talking about it wasn't something she had done yet. She had learned in her first life that keeping her problems bottled up inside was absolutely not something to do, though. She spoke at the same time as her exhale. "Okay."

Vexen had used the Replica Program to create vessels for the members of the second Organization XIII whose hearts had time traveled from the past. Xemnas, Ansem, Xehanort's younger self they were all time-displaced hearts in replica bodies. Roxas knew this just as well as Xion did. Roxas himself was inhabiting a replica vessel too, put together with the help of Ienzo and Ansem the Wise.

"But for me it was different," Xion said softly. "Because my heart was inside Sora. When Vexen made a new body for me based off his old research, he didn't have my heart to put inside it. I wasn't like the dark Riku replica; I wasn't even like the way I used to be in the old Organization. I was just empty; no memories, no name. The only thing inside me was a fragment of Xehanort's heart."

"So like how Terra was?" Roxas asked.

"No... Closer to the way I was when you and I first met. I didn't have a sense of self. I just did what I was told to do, moving like a machine." Xion hugged her knees tighter. "And that's what the nightmares are about. Every night I dream that I'm not in control of my body. I can feel Xehanort's darkness running through my veins. When I wake up, sometimes my limbs are numb and I'm scared that they won't move again. Other times I have to run into the bathroom to throw up." By now she had buried her face in her crossed arms and was choking on her words. "I just… I– I–"

Something warm embraced her suddenly. Xion's tear-stained face shot up to find Roxas hugging her. "Xion, it's okay." He pulled her tighter. "They're just dreams, Xion. They can't hurt you. You're here, you're safe with me. And Axel, and Isa too."

"Roxas…" Xion sobbed and returned the hug even tighter, her hands grabbing at his shirt. "Thank you. Yes, you are here. It was you who called me back." She pulled away and smiled. Though tears still moved down her cheeks, it wasn't because of fear. "In the Keyblade Graveyard, when I saw Axel – that was when I felt something. Something real, for the first time." She hadn't know who he was, what it was she was feeling, or why she had felt it. But she had felt it. She had felt it the entire time they fought. It ate away at her as Lea had knelt in the dirt with her Keyblade pointed at him. She hadn't been able to hold her weapon steady as her body fought the compulsion within her.

The first time her body had ever moved of her own free will was when she had grabbed at Xemnas's weapons. It had hurt; it had hurt so much, burned so much. As she sniffled, Xion looked down at her palms and slowly furled and unfurled her fingers. But the pain had been worth it. Even if she hadn't know why at the time, the pain had been worth it to protect him.

"And when I heard your voice call my name. When I was recognized…remembered. That's when I wasn't empty anymore." Her gaze locked with Roxas's, and she looked at her black hair reflected in his deep blue eyes. She remembered, too, when her hair and eyes had returned to normal; when Xehanort had been expelled from her. Xemnas knocking her aside, colliding her with Sora, had been the final catalyst needed for her heart to return to her. That physical contact combined with her reclaimed memories had caused a warmth to enter her, to bring her back to who she used to be.

"Roxas, you say Axel and I guided you back to us. You did the same to me. So thank you." Now she initiated the hug. She buried her face in his shoulder and held him so tight, never wanting to let go. "Thank you for always keeping me safe, Roxas."

"You're welcome, Xion. And thank you for bringing me home, too." He leaned his head against hers. "I never want to lose anybody ever again. I promise, I'll make sure all of us are never torn apart from each other. Not even for a minute."

They sat there together in the dimly-lit room for a good while longer. Neither noticed the smiling redhead peeking through the cracked door before silently shutting it to leave them be.

x-x-x

When Roxas had returned to Twilight Town some time ago, the last thing he had ever expected to see was a new restaurant in the Tram Common. He had been even more surprised to find out that Donald's uncle was the owner. Unfortunately despite Lea's best efforts to convince Mister McDuck otherwise, there was no friends and family discount, though. Still, Le Grand Bistrot had quickly become one of Roxas's favorite hangouts. The usual spot didn't really have room for everyone now that his group of friends had grown so much.

Hayner slammed his phone down on the table and groaned loudly while Pence and Olette laughed at him. The game over screen of a Classic Kingdom game blinked back at them. Amidst their good-natured jeering Hayner grabbed his phone and pressed at the screen as he booted the game up a second time – only to lose all his lives again in almost as quickly as the last time.

"Nice going, Hayner!" Pence cackled with his hand on his belly.

Olette put her hand on Hayner's shoulder but was having trouble hiding her giggles behind her other hand. "Third time's the charm?"

"Yeah right, the game's busted." In a huff, Hayner all but tossed his phone over his shoulder. He stewed in his own anger for a moment before glancing over to Roxas. "What are you looking at?"

Roxas leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. "A sore loser."

"Oh really?" Hayner put a hand on the table and leaned forward. "I didn't know my face was a mirror."

More laughter between the four friends. Roxas found himself remember sunny days and lazy afternoons in another life. Here and now, back together with Hayner, Pence, and Olette after everything that had happened, it was like he had never left. And he was absolutely ecstatic that his two groups of friends had been able to blend so seamlessly. Speaking of which…

The doors to the kitchen opened up and Lea walked out in a completely out of character black uniform, a tray of treats held in one hand. Roxas let out a snort; he couldn't help it, Lea just looked so goofy dressed up as a waiter.

Lea caught the laugh and flicked Roxas in the forehead. "Hey, watch it. Bills don't pay themselves, kid." He set the tray down and held a hand out proudly. "You'll see I've got your usual orders memorized. Crêpes Suzette for Hayner, chocolate mousse for Pence and Roxas–"

"Your accent is horrible, Axel," Roxas said as he grabbed his plate.

"Just for that you're on laundry duty tonight," Lea shot back without missing a beat. "Last but not least, two fresh fruit compotes for Olette and– Oh. No Xion today?"

Olette took her fruit dessert from Lea while he looked over at the empty seat where Xion usually sat. She took a bite of strawberry and let out a sound of sugary delight before answering Lea's question. "Xion's off shopping with Isa today."

"Isa, huh…?" With the unclaimed compote resting on the table, Lea spun the empty tray on his fingertip. He turned to Roxas, who stopped mid-bite and looked up at his friend with his spoon in his mouth. "Are you cool with that? I appreciate the effort Roxas, but the two of you don't have to try so hard if it's uncomfortable."

Roxas stared down at the mousse for a contemplative moment. The others all noticed the atmosphere shift and looked between him and Lea. Their knowledge of everything was flimsy at best, but Roxas figured they must have at least caught on to how he and Xion would sometimes stiffen up around Isa.

"…I won't lie and say it's easy," he said at last. Saïx had put both of them through hell in the old days, Xion especially. When Isa had been recompleted after the Keyblade Graveyard, Roxas had punched him right in the face. That had been extremely cathartic. But he and Xion also knew Isa's story, and why he had been the way he was. "You know we don't forgive him, at least not yet. But we understand what he went through. So."

"So?"

Roxas shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm uncomfortable around Isa," he admitted. "And I'm uncomfortable that Xion is around him, too. But we also know he's your friend, and we know he wants a second chance. So Xion's trying to give him that second chance, and who am I to stop her? They're both taking steps to reach each other."

For a moment Roxas swore Lea was going to cry. He turned away from the group and took a deep breath through his nostrils. "I gotta… go handle the other customers. Bon appétit, guys." His voice shook a little, and as he walked away Roxas couldn't help but smile. He was still a big softy, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

After some silence, Pence spoke up through a bite of mousse. "Hey Roxas! I betcha you can't beat Hayner's high score!"

Hayner spit out his crepe. "Hey, shouldn't I be the one making that bet?!"

But Roxas had already pulled out his Gummiphone. "You're on!"

"Hey, I never agreed to– Whatever, it's not like you'll be able to anyway!"

Roxas wiggled his eyebrows as he booted up Classic Kingdom. "Just watch."

The brief awkward pause in their conversation was gone, and once again Roxas was swept up in memories of happier times. It was like he was back in summer all over again, just wasting time killing his teeth with sugary treats as he hung out with these three, whether it be arguing with Seifer and his gang or just sitting around in the usual spot.

Hayner let out a loud groan as Roxas beat the level in record time. He reached angrily for Roxas's Gummiphone, and Roxas had to hold it up while Olette and Pence held Hayner back. Even then the four never stopped laughing. Finally Hayner relented and fell back in his seat with a huff.

"Fine, alright, you win! Guess I'll just have to find something else to kick your butt in."

Roxas pocketed his Gummiphone then pulled out his wallet as Lea came by with the bill. "Between this and Struggle, you may be running out of options."

"Struggle?" Hayner dropped the munny for his own share of the bill onto the table then quirked an eyebrow at Roxas. "When did we have a Struggle match?"

"You don't remember? It was last summe–" Roxas caught himself. "…oh. Right."

"Was that in the other Twilight Town?" Olette asked softly.

Roxas nodded and put his munny on the table with the others'. "Yeah. Right before summer vacation ended." How was the other Twilight Town doing? How were his…other friends, doing? Things had been pretty surreal on that final day, and Roxas wasn't sure what had or hadn't actually happened then. Did they remember him? Did they wonder where he'd gone? He hadn't been to the old mansion since he'd been recompleted, much less to Ansem's computer room. He didn't think he'd be able to handle it – a living memorial to one of the things that had been taken from him.

Roxas pushed his chair out and stood up. "If Axel comes by again, tell him I'll see him at home tonight. I'm going out for a walk."

Hayner, Pence, and Olette all shared looks with each other. "Sure, man," Pence said. "Whatever you need."

With a nod and wave goodbye, Roxas made his way out of Le Grand Bistrot and up the streets of Twilight Town. Despite his earlier words to Lea, he found his mind wandering to Xion and Isa. What were they up to, and was she okay alone with him? He didn't want to budge in where he wasn't needed, but he just couldn't help but worry. Not over Isa specifically, but just about…everything. Everything felt so fleeting.

Roxas reached for the Gummiphone in his pocket. He came to a stop and stared at the black screen. There was a feeling in his gut that everything would just slip through his fingers and disappear. There was no logical basis for it, he knew. But he was so scared of it all the same. Scared of being alone.

Roxas dialed a number and started walking again as the Gummiphone rang. Hayner had said once that what mattered was keeping your friends in your thoughts, even if you couldn't see each other anymore. But Roxas couldn't accept that. Having everything taken from a second time? That was the most terrifying thought in the world.

The ringing stopped, the girl on the other end picked up. "Roxas?"

"Hey, Xion. What are you up to?"

"Not much. I'm still with Isa. Why, what's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to talk."

As Roxas moved through the familiar streets with his eyes on the Gummiphone, he didn't notice the white figures wriggling their way across the orange sky and toward the forest.