Engagements

AVtwlight


Chapter One


It wasn't that much of a big deal was it?

Astrid bit her lip as she studied his face, eyes narrowed, brow creased in frustration, a frown on his lips. He stared at her and she couldn't tell really if he was disappointed or angry. She guessed both. However, she couldn't understand why he was being so stubborn. She guessed it applied to her as well, but her focus was on her husband. What she really didn't get though was why he was pouting at her now. They were having so much fun a while ago…

Well, they were. It just disappeared when she told him, "Sorry for being weird," after she finished a giggling fit (long story). They were just about to spend another night together, but what was different was the fact that they were miraculously cuddling for once. Now he'd rolled out of her arms and jumped out of the bed and was giving her that look. That stupid face she hated so much. She glared at him.

"What did I do?"

Her question hung in the air, and she seemed to have imitated his frown in the process. His face had softened into a blank look, and suddenly it was just a staring contest. She sat up on the bed, unmoving, before her lips parted again to ask another question. Before she could speak however, he crawled back into bed and lay beside her, but not close enough to her. He left as large amount of space he could and turned. His back faced towards her and she bit back a snarky comment, turning her back on him as well.

She closed her eyes, hoping for some form of good sleep for once in the past eight years. She found her chest beating rapidly when he surprisingly said, "Good night, Astrid."

She did not dwell on his statement or the reason why he said it instead of the clichéd 'I love you'. She simply returned the greeting, and then went to sleep. There was nothing left to say, and nothing left to do. That was the thing about their marriage. There just seemed to be nothing left.

Oh, she couldn't deny that there was still a spark. But the raging fire had turned into the mere flame of a candle, fighting to stay alive in the blowing wind. She kept fighting before, but that was when she had someone to fight for. Now, they were just two people, two strangers, who had to live together just because she had given birth to two children (they were still angels and blessings in their eyes) and neither wanted to leave them with just one parent.

Sometimes she fooled herself. She filled her head with thoughts that there was still a chance. She could still win back his affection, his adoration… his love. But so far, that was proving to be worthless and just the stupid dream of a foolish woman who once thought she'd found her happily ever after in a guy who barely spared her a second glance.

But there was no silencing the question: where did they go wrong?

When Astrid woke up the next morning, her husband was gone. She sighed, used to his absence. She merely did her usual routine, dressing up for work and heading down to cook breakfast. Only to find breakfast left on the table. Her eyes lit up and she smiled so wide. Maybe they were finally getting back on track!

She hopped her way over to the table, and saw a note on top of the covered food. 'For the kids' lunch,' it read in his messy scrawl. Disappointment showed in her features, and she assumed he overslept a little and wasn't able to put Melina's and Joseph's food into their respective lunchboxes. Her heart swelled, and she dealt with the pain like she did every other day.

She bottled it up, and tossed it into the pit of bottled up emotions in her head. It's what kept her so violent, strict, and bossy over the years. It's helped her to become less vulnerable to the tolls such great emotions would put upon her. It was slightly harder to do so though, over the years she'd spent fighting, laughing, crying, and smiling with Herald. He was her husband after all. They just were on an ultimately rocky road.

It was an unhealthy marriage.

Often times she'd find herself staring out into space, millions of thoughts in her head. It would take her kids and her colleagues to snap her out of it, and even then she couldn't stop the words and memories in her head from flowing.

Sometimes she'd hold on to the days when they'd go back to who they used to be: lovers without a care for the world. That time had passed though. Now that she was forty she couldn't help but feel so bitter and angry that their relationship had come to this. But she was stuck with him and him with her… for the sake of the kids.

"Mama, are you okay?" Melina had woken up and was now heading downstairs. She was seven, but she was observant. Just like her father, she mused sadly. The girl hugged her mother and Astrid bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Of course, 'Lisa, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you're crying," the girl stated, watching her mother with curious eyes.

Astrid's hand shot up to her cheek, and she felt that it was indeed damp with tears. How that was possible, she really didn't know. "Oh," her voice cracked, "I never noticed. Sorry for worrying you, Lisa. Now wake your brother up and you, young lady, take a bath and get ready for school."

The girl nodded. "Yes, Mama!"

Astrid watched her daughter as she ran off to wake five year old little Joseph up. She smiled sadly when she took note of her green eyes – so much like her father's – and dirty blonde hair. Joseph, however, was a complete replica of Herald himself. She used to make jokes about how they should've named him Hiccup. Herald merely laughed then.

Astrid shook off her depressing thoughts and put up a happy face as she, too, made her way up to the second floor. She could live without breakfast. She couldn't with her family going down the drain.

If only she had another chance.