Disclaimer: i own nothing
Chapter 2
Harry sat once again curled up in a chair by a window staring out of it, unseeing, but this time the location was Ginny's bedroom. Ginny sat on her bed alone writing on a piece of parchment, homework much to her disgust, stealing glances at Harry every now and again.
Their relationship had taken a sad turn since the end of the war. Well, if she was honest the bad turn actually started at Dumbledors funeral, when Harry had broken it off for her safety.
He had insisted that Voldemort would find out about the relationship and use her to get him and with the job Dumbledore left him, he couldn't allow that. He worried about her, he wanted her safe and happy, not being tortured and used as bait against him.
But she thought it was all dragon dung. She was already a target due to her family being considered blood traitors and muggle lovers. But she couldn't bring that up to him. She knew he had something important to do, something that could possibly save or doom the wizarding world depending if he fail or not, and she had chosen to let him go.
After the war had ended she had wanted so desperately for things to go back to the way things were before. Though she knew it was impossible for it to happen. They had both seen and done too much, Harry more so then she, and they weren't the same people they were the past July, when she had given him his birthday kiss.
She knew Harry was falling apart from the beginning. Once he had returned from wherever he was with Ron and Hermione, and came back to the great hall where everyone was seated, relaxing, recovering from the battle, she could tell right away. His eyes were slightly glazed, though she told herself it was from lack of sleep. He shook slightly, probably from shock of what has happen the past twenty-four hours.
She had fought her urge to just reach over to him and wrap her arms around him, and kiss him passionately. To tell him through it that she had missed him, that she was glad he was there, alive. And that she loved him so much. But she settled for simply taking his hand that was folded in his lap in hers and squeezing it gently, to let him know she was there.
Time passed slowly over the months after and she tried to be there for him through it all. She wanted desperately for him to open up to her, to tell her what was wrong and open up to her. She knew however that it wouldn't happen anytime soon, if at all.
Harry Potter was an extremely private person. He didn't like people knowing about him, he didn't like opening up. It was difficult during the weeks they were together to get him to tell him anything about himself. Considering Harry was practically a Weasley and had been a part of her family for the past 7 years they surprisingly didn't know that much about Harry at all.
But after much persuasion with methods she's sure would get Harry's ass kicked if her brothers found out about, she was confident enough to say that she probably knew the most of the real Harry Potter then anybody else could ever find out about. However none of that would help her now in this case.
She looked up from her homework over to the window where Harry sat. Once again she felt herself fighting the urge to just go over there and hold him, and kiss him silly till he submits to her questions and answers them. But she knew that was not the best way to get Harry to talk. Something he hasn't done since he left to live at Grimmauld Place.
The three weeks before his birthday were some of the worst for Ginny. While over the previous year she hadn't known where Harry was, or what he was doing she at least had some comfort that he was at least with Ron and Hermione, and that he wasn't alone and would be ok. But this time was different. He had left and they had stayed.
They hadn't heard from him the entire time he was gone. It worried her to no end and she didn't know what to do. She thought several times about just leaving and taking the Knight bus over there to see him, but she knew that he wanted privacy. He wanted time to heal on his own and as much as her instincts said otherwise she would give him that.
Though that was a big mistake on her part. She turned away from the sight of Harry as she thought about his disastrous birthday party. When Ron and Hermione ha walked into the house carrying a practically limp body...
Ginny closed her eyes. She would not think of that. Taking a few deep breaths she steadied her emotions and looked over at Harry again. He hadn't moved an inch. If it weren't for the random blinking he did she wouldn't even know if he was still alive just staring out the window.
Since he's been back things have gotten a tad better but progressively worse at the same time. While he still seeks solitude he at least doesn't purposely go out of his way to avoid them. He accepts that he is not to be alone in a room any longer. He even allows Ginny to sit with him while she reads on the couch. He'll place his head on her lap and let her run her hands through his hair gently as he gazes into the fire. He was forced to sit at the table with them every meal and he did, and even ate a bit each time so he was putting back a little weight on his frame, though defiantly not enough.
Those were the improvements.
Things have gotten progressively worse as well. He barely acknowledges any of them. He walks around as a zombie, if he walks at all. He just sits curled in a chair on the couch until someone moves him to another location. He also hasn't spoken since the day he left. Harry has always been a mostly silent person but this was taking it to extremes at times.
She missed his voice, she missed those whispered conversations they would have when they were alone. When he would reveal some secret about himself that nobody else knew, and he entrusted her with. To watch him stare off behind her, and his breath hitch slightly unsurely as he revealed his secret. To see him focus on her face and give a small smile at her positive response to what he was saying no matter what it was. She missed it so much at times it caused a painful ache in her heart.
She was surprised this afternoon to hear a silent knock on her bedroom door. It startled her even though it was barely heard. She couldn't fathom who it would be. She was sharing a room with Hermione who just walks in, and her brothers, despite 16 years of her being there, have yet to figure out that you KNOCK on your sisters door.
She got up from her bed to open it, and was surprised to see Harry standing there on the other side, still in his pajamas. She knew that Ron had a hard time getting him out of bed this morning. He had just lay there on his camp bed in Rons bedroom staring at the wall. Ron had to physically pick him up and drag him downstairs to breakfast. which had alarmed her the most because she knew how Harry felt about being treated as an invalid.
"Harry, hey, what are you doing here?" She had said. She looked around him to see if his minders were near and just dropping him off for some alone time for themselves. But no one was around. Harry didn't say anything back, of course, just continued to look at her.
Feeling a slight blush crawl up her cheeks that she hadn't felt in a long time, the kind of blush of having Harry look at her like that, she moved aside to allow him to enter. He walked into the room, his eyes still on Ginny. She closed the door behind him and moved over to her bed and sat down with her homework spread out across it.
"Please, have a seat" She had said. He walked silent across the room to the armchair she kept by the window and curled up and stared out the window again. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding in, unsure of what to say or do now, but decided to go ahead and continue on with her homework. And aside from a small interruption involving Ron shouting for Harry up and down the house, that is how they remained.
Ginny sighed in frustration. She didn't quite understand the transfiguration assignment her mother gave her. Yet again she was wishing her mother would just butt out and let her finish her summer in piece. Though the year royally sucked for her she did do her best to keep up with her studies and she didn't feel as if she were that far behind. Nothing she couldn't have caught up to easily enough this year, especially with Hermione going back with her.
She closed her book and sat back on her bed glaring at the assignments around her. She would finish it later, or ask Hermione to help her tonight. She glanced over at Harry again, and was startled to see him staring at her again. While she appreciated it, it was a bit unnerving when he hasn't done it in weeks. She smiled at him trying to ease him.
"Ginny" He whispered. His voice was horse from weeks of disuse. Her smile quickly faded and her eyes widened. She didn't take her eyes off him, willing him to speak. She was afraid to respond to him, afraid it may spook him back into the silent reverie he's entrapped himself in the past month. They sat there for a few moments, staring at one another.
"Ginny, I need you to let me go" He said, a little more clearly. Her eyes narrowed at these words.
"What do you mean?" She was suspicious of what the meaning was but she wanted him to tell her, to clear it for her. He lowered his eyes from hers briefly and glanced out the window in thought before turning back to her face.
"I can't stay here. I need to go. I need you to let me go"
"I don't understand" She replied, "Let you go where? What's going on" Again he went silent. She could tell he was thinking of what to say next.
"Ginny" he said simply again, his voice cracking. She was alarmed to see tears starting to stream through his eyes. She'd never seen Harry cry, never. Not even when Sirius died. "I need you to let me go. I have to go, please"
He quickly got off the chair and climbed on the bed next to her crushing her homework, but she didn't care. Harry was in front her, looking intently into her eyes, tears streaming fast on his cheeks. She reached her hand out to stroke the tears on his cheek. He reached up and pressed her hand closer to his face and her chest constricted tightly.
"Harry, I cant"
"Please, I have to. I cant stay here. You're the only thing tethering me to here" He cried. Her hart gave a little leap at the revelation.
"Harry, I don't understand. Where are you going?" She couldn't help herself, She couldn't hold herself together much longer, she knew her emotions were going to fail her. The whole situation was so sudden and overwhelming. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, his hand still on hers covering this cheek.
"I'm dying here. I'm drowning. I need to go. Please, let me go" He begged. Ginny wrapped her arms around him and drew him to her. He sobbed into her chest, begging to be free and let go. She brought them down to lay on the bed and she curled her body around his, pulling him closer to him, crying as hard as he was.
"please, let me go, please" he kept saying over and over again, muffled by her body and tears.
They laid like that for what felt like hours. Eventually Harry fell asleep like that, tucked safely in her arms. She took that time to think about what his request. "Let me go" he had begged. Although she didn't want to, she knew what he meant. He wanted to leave the Burrow. Leave the Wizarding world. He had said he was the only thing keeping him here.
Could she? If she said no to him, would he stay anyways? And if he stayed, would he eventually be happy again? Begin to live once more? Or will he stay as he was, and eventually give in and completely stop living, and eventually just pass away.
That thought scared Ginny the most. She knew in her heart, that no matter what, if she kept him here, told him "no", he would stay. He wouldn't leave her. But she wanted him to live. She wanted him to be happy. And her heart was telling her, that in order for him to find himself once more, she will have to let him go.
Her decision made, she drew closer to Harry, kissing the top of his head, running her hands through his mop of jet black hair. He stirred and tiled his face up to her till their eyes met. Pain showed so much in his eyes. She wished she knew what was going on in his head, how this great, brave man somehow got this broken.
"ok" she whispered. It was all she said, it was all she could say. But he knew what she meant, and he brought his lips up to hers and placed a soft kiss upon them. And she knew what he meant to say. "Thank you" the kiss said to her.
They were broken from this silent world of their own when Hermione walked in to inform them that dinner was ready. Neither looked at her or responded at all. She took that as a hint to leave, and she did, quietly closing the door silently.
"should we go to dinner?" She whispered in his hair. He put his arms around her and held her closer to him.
"lets stay here" And they did.
"Where is he!" Someone shouted, waking Ginny up from sleep. She sat up quickly, heart racing looking around. Ron was standing over her, his face red as possible and anger seeping off him.
"What?" She said sleepily, trying to get her heart back to a normal pace.
"Don't 'what' me, where is he? Where is Harry" He spat. Ginny could see Hermione standing behind him, arms crossed over her chest, looking shocked at Ron but not doing anything to stop him.
"What do you mean where is he?"
"He's not here. we looked everywhere, and last we saw he was with you. We looked in before we went to bed." Ron grabbed her arm and pulled her out of bed.
"Ron! Stop!" Hermione said, finally coming to her aide. Ron dropped her arm and walked away towards the opposite way from her. Ginny took a moment to look around her room, finally landing on the bed. Last she remembered she was embraced by Harry there. They must have fallen asleep and the others decided to leave them there.
The conversation the previous night came crashing back to her. He wanted to go. Surely he didn't mean right away. He couldn't be gone. She didn't even get to say goodbye.
"He's no where Ginny. We cant find him. Please where is he." Hermione cried. She sat down on her bed opposite Ginnys and placed her head in her hands. Ginny sat as well on her own bed. She knew he was gone. And she knew they would never find him until he was ready.
Ron stared intently at his sister, his anger not abating at all, if anything it was getting stronger. He loved his sister but Harry was his best friend, and he was in trouble and she was getting between him and finding Harry.
"Well?" He yelled. She just stared at Hermione, who looked up and was staring back at Ginny intently.
"He's gone, isn't he?" Hermione whispered.
"What?" Ron yelled again. Ginny took a great shuddering breath in and looked over at Ron.
"He's gone. Harry's gone. He left"
"Where did he go?"
"I don't know. He didn't say where he was going."
"He was in your care and you just let him up and leave?" Ron was in her face again. She didn't have a response, because he was basically right. Harry had begged her to let him go and she did. And he left. He didn't say anything before leaving, which she supposed was a good thing. She may have gave him what he wanted and let him go but she knew if he had waited to say good by she would quickly change her mind and keep him there.
"Ron, stop, this isn't helping" Hermione pleaded. Ron just stormed out of the room after one more glare at Ginny. Hermione stayed there a few more moments before finally getting up and following him.
Ginny laid back down on her bed and curled up on the spot where Harry laid, hours before, and let the fear, sadness, and longing take over her. Her body shook as she let free the pain she felt at the loss of Harry. And prayed silently to whoever listened to keep him safe, and for him to eventually find happiness.
She could hear Ron and the rest of the family downstairs talking loudly and yelling at each other. Trying to organize searches to try to find Harry. She knew it was pointless. She rolled bringing her pillow closer to her when her hand brushed a piece of paper and something slivery in feeling.
She sat up and removed her pillow and saw Harry's invisibility cloak, an old piece of parchment and a note on top addressed to her in Harry's semi messy handwriting. Her heart stopped again. She was beginning to wonder if she's just going to have a heart attack one of these days caused by Harry. She reached out for the note. She didn't want to read it, but at the same time, she was
desperate to.
Dear Ginny.
Thank you for freeing me. I love you forever.
Love Harry.
Ginny turned the note over, hoping for something more. But there was nothing. That was all there was to the letter. She looked down at the items beside here. His cloak and what looked like upon closer inspection, to be the Marauders Map.
She knew then, that Harry was officially gone, and he wouldn't be coming back, for a very long time.
TBC
