Act I: Childhood
"Study the past if you wish to define the future."Confucius
And so it begins anew, it is decided, and she moves forward into the past.
Chapter 1: Beginnings
Her head hurt, but strangely, it was pleasant. The dull ache of hunger, dehydration, the steady burning in her back, the throbbing ache of her cursed leg along and of mutilated skin on her arm was no more. Waking from sleep was almost peaceful. The pain in her head as if she had overslept. She had a brief thought that she couldn't remember when she had felt so at ease… and comfortable.
She was warm, laying in a bed. After that realization, the sensory overload flooded in. She was wearing pajamas, had cotton sheets and a comforter brushing her face, her hair was clean, her nails weren't hurting from dirt and blood under them.
Her eyes snapped open, registering a canopy above her, pink with white trim, attached to a four poster bed of a modest dark wood. The bedspread was lined in a pattern of embroidered roses, the morning light making them look especially sprightly and happy.
Her heart began to beat faster.
She turned to her side and to face another canopy bed, white with pink trim, decorated with lilies. There was a lump in the middle, child sized and breathing. The decor of the room, so outdated to her eyes, was pink and white flower wallpaper, roses and lilies, leaf green carpet.
Where was she? She breathed in and suddenly, it wasn't her at the graveyard of Merlin, it wasn't her remembering constantly the flashes of her friend spinning, spinning and dying as the light in his blue eyes dimmed. There were other things, child-like thoughts. Like today she was excited because she knew today was park day.
Things like how she suddenly knew, knew, that the girl in the bed next to her was her sister Lily.
Lily Evans.
The shock froze her for an indeterminate amount of time- slowly registering. It was successful. Whatever magic she called upon; it worked.
She began to tremble with overwhelming ricochet, sinking into her stomach and heart.
It had worked but it was absolutely not in the way she was expecting. She was expecting to be sent back with Harry and Draco, perhaps just to the summer, or before- ...she couldn't think.
She moved the covers off herself, and stretched a little too far to reach the ground as she had since she was seven- because for her and her sisters birthday that year they had gotten big-girl beds, for grown up ladies.
Hermione wiggled her toes in the shag carpeting, worn a little from her doing the same thing everyday for three years. It was dizzying, the simultaneous notion that she had never before done this and sensation that she had many times previous.
Hermione Rose Evans opened the door into their house located in Cokeworth, not far from the houses that the Granger family would live in in about 17 years from now. The date was 1971, January 23rd. She knew it was the same year that Lily would go to Hogwarts, because they were ten now and on the 30th they would be eleven, and then in the summer is when they would get their letter from Hogwarts. It was sort of dim, this understanding. As if she couldn't quite feel the consequence but understood it.
The overlay of information made her nauseous.
She began to panic, for how was she supposed to do everything over again? She had wanted to start the year over or go back to when Professor Dumbledore was still alive- not beginning to fight a new war. She asked to have permission to go back in time to win the war- what was she supposed to do before the war, her war, had started?
Breathing was difficult, the hallway lent itself perfectly to the tunnel vision the young woman in the little girl's body had when she reached the end of the hallway. It seemed so difficult to reach the door, she ran her hands along the peeling paint around the edges, and pushed open the door to the very clean brown tiled bathroom. She shut the door behind her and locked it, still shaking. Forcing herself to breathe in and out. She looked at herself in the mirror, small, tiny even, to her mind's eye of a young adult.
Her face was strange, uncanny. She looked at the mirror and knew herself to be changed but similar. Curly auburn hair, tumbled around her shoulders. In the soft young face were bright green eyes. Green eyes as Harry's ever were, as Lily's are, stared at her. She had her Da's eyes, same as Lily. Gone were her mother's eyes, an earthy hazel.
The only thing she had left of her parents from her old life, now just a memory of who she used to be.
She began to cry, and in her child's voice it came out as a high keening. She couldn't even think of the implications. She turned to the shower, quickly running the water to cover the noise, to feel water over her skin. To be clean and to have a physical sensation instead of drifting in this terrible way.
The thin adolescent body clambering into the bath, her mind too heavy for it. She let the water wash over her as she bundled up against herself in fetal position.
She laughed through the pain, finding hysterical irony in her position. She held onto the thought, which became mantra- another chance. Echoing in her head in a calming voice as the water cradled her in white noise.
After all... everything that had happened- hadn't actually happened- yet. She was still here, she would have another chance to make things better. Just like she had promised Harry.
It's another chance.
Later, she went to dress in her room and found that Lily's bed was all made. The smell of eggs with buttery toast and bacon wafted up from the kitchen down below.
It was a Saturday, and soon she would face her parents as an adult pretending to be a child. Her Da at the table reading the same magazine that her Father had subscribed to.
This family, the Evans family, was not as wealthy as the Grangers. They valued family and education more so than the clean picture of success paired with education, and didn't seem bothered by their lifestyle. The Granger family was nice, but the Evans family were demonstrably more affectionate towards one another. Hermione had never quite been- she swallowed and allowed the thought to die. She couldn't examine every layer and comparison and remain sane.
Her Mummy, Mrs. Evans, worked mostly as homemaker, but got a small part time job attending to pastries and cakes for a decorator further uptown in a better part of the city. Mummy liked it and it suited her she said. Da was a mill town construction worker, and many people called out cheerfully "Mr. Evans!" in the neighborhood. Hermione, as if making sense of a picture after staring at it, understood that her father also was recognised as having leanings in the political arena. The memory of her mother and father, however, her Dentist parents sitting at the dining table with their light non-sugar breakfast, both with an academic journal or the newspaper in hand, greeting Hermione warmly and with love, stayed in her mind. The two sets blurred over each other.
She dressed and tried to be happy that today was park day, shoving any thought that even resembled loneliness, despair or fear firmly under a lid. Her parents were supposed to be allowing them to go to the park, the only park around these industrious suburbs, with Petunia as a purveyor. Lily and Hermione didn't get to go often. It was winter, and they needed to have their older sister there for guidance. It was soon going to be their birthday during the upcoming week and they had managed to cajole their parents into letting them go on the wintery weekend if the weather was nice.
Hermione hopped down the stairs. Laughter shot out of the kitchen as she rounded the entrance way just past the stairs. Coming around the corner she was almost blinded by the morning sunlight streaming down falling upon the bright yellow kitchen. Her mum was wearing long linen pants that flowed around her legs, cinched high at the waist topped with a floral blouse that had a bit of flour dusted on it. Her Da was wearing flared casual jeans and a dark green turtleneck and was trying to dance with her Mummy while she attempted to move pancakes around. He stole the pan from her and Lily squealed from her seat, hands clapping together, "Flip it high!"
Her Da, red hair and long defined features, turned and grinned at Lily with mischievously bright green eyes, and performed as she wished. He did so much to the amusement of his wife, who watched with softer features, a dreamy set to her big blue eyes and a lovely cloud of blonde hair down to her hips. Her Mummy looked like she was made of glass and sunshine. Hermione flicked her eyes over to Petunia who had her mother's coloring, and her face held no trace of her snooty and cold personality Hermione was acquainted with. Petunia had become frigid later in her life, but for now she was a glowing thirteen year old girl.
They noticed her lingering in the doorway. Lily's smile was bright and scootched aside on her bench to make room for her twin. Da asked her with a laugh under his voice "One or two crempogs for my little mabi fi1?"
Hermione blinked and recalled that they only had crempogs during birthdays, and that crempogs were really pancakes, just Welsh. Her Da was Welsh. She loved pancakes. It had been a lifetime since she had them. She didn't know if she could stomach to eat them, but clearly she was supposed to be hungry and... "Just one, please…" She said politely.
Hermione sat down and Lily's smile dimmed just slightly as her face lingered on hers- her bright green eyes boring holes into her. Harry would look like that when he had one of his insightful moments. She hunched away.
Petunia pursed her lips and said, "Hermione Rose Evans, have you even brushed your hair? We're going out to the park." She said as if going out to the park was like going out to tea with the Duchess. Hermione stared blankly at Petunia, and before she decided Petunia meant it in a kind and bossily older sister way, Mrs. Evans extracted herself from Mr. Evans, and bent down kissing her on the forehead. "It's alright, I'll brush it before you go out." This Mummy, smelled strongly of lemon, sugar and a floral perfume. Mother always smelled like sweet mint.
Lily was watching her intently. Their father called from the stovetop, "Tosh, just one she says, it's like I made this batch for the little people instead of the growing girls I know I have."
Lily asked bluntly, "What's wrong Hermione, why aren't you happy?"
Unsettling attention was placed in full force upon her, and Hermione had to resist the urge to hide her face in her hands. She settled on apprehensively, "I'm just tired."
It looked as if her family did not believe her. "I was er-" She scrambled to find an answer. "I'm just worried… so I er- stayed up late reading."
Her mother stilled, and Petunia drew herself up straighter. Lily tilted her head down and looked extremely empathetic, and Hermione knew exactly what she was thinking "No! It was about- uh school it wasn't about- about that."
Her Da gave a sharp look to Petunia who still staring at the twins. "Your gifts are perfectly natural. You've just been blessed by the green is all, you both are very special and don't dwell your del2 head on it."
Pretending to be properly abashed she drew herself together, her mother kissed her forehead again and squeezed her tightly. She said "You're pretty and lovely and nothing you could do ever would be wrong."
Hermione thought she had a very good retort for that. It wasn't the thought of an eleven year old girl, but it wasn't said, thankfully, because she couldn't draw breath from the force of the hug. The thought that rose up stubbornly that it wasn't just that she was naturally all of those things, she was going to work hard to be the best that she could be, but she squashed her other mothers voice before it leapt out.
She ate delicious crempogs and watched the Evans family laugh, in which Petunia delightfully recounted stories and her Da joined in with jokes that Lily responded to with admiration and glee. Hermione could recall some of these stories, most of them were overshadowed by the weight and ferocity of her mind placed in this girl. It seemed duller since after the water.
The weave into time was beginning to make sense, she had to go back, but to do that successfully she had to have been in the past. The placement she understood, but logically, the most effective she could be would not be at the age of eleven. She couldn't help but feel selfishly glad for the reprieve. She felt heavy and slow and didn't know what she was going to do- but right now, things were pleasant.
After breakfast, she drew herself together as if casting the Patronus charm and carried a silver wisp of happiness all the way to the Park.
Lily, Petunia and Hermione were on the swings. Their parents would bring by lunch so they could dine alfresco if the weather lasted through the afternoon.
It was cold outside, the sun barely shining through the silver grey of the clouds, but for January it was a bearable day and playing made it seem all the warmer. It was amazing they could go out at all and forgo their coats.
Lily and Hermione were swinging together holding hands and Lily looked at Hermione, smile big, her red hair near glowing in the sun, rushing forward as fast as they could together. Lily giggled and then Hermione's heart skipped a beat, because she could just tell that Lily was planning on flying and she had no choice, to either fly or fall as Lily pulled her.
Petunia shrieked, "Don't do it!"
Lily gave a great shout of laughter as she launched forward. And they flew off the swings. Hermione couldn't help but smile in pleasure at the pure safe and free feeling. Light as a feather they glided down. It was the first time she ever felt floating senselessly in the air was acceptable. She looked around and saw Petunias look of horror on her face as she stood not far from them next to her swing.
Hermione landed and felt then quite glad she was on the ground. It was a rush having her head in the clouds but then coming down to earth her common sense returned to her. Lily looked at her exuberantly. Hermione was thinking now what kind of consequences there were for underage magic. They didn't use a wand, but surely- there was someone somewhere watching. Petunia certainly thought someone was.
She hissed, "You can't- Mummy said that you weren't allowed to where people could see!" It was plain to see that Petunia was actually quite frightened, but Lily was anxious to placate her so she wouldn't be mad said, "But we're fine. And no one's seen." Petunia glanced around, her eyes narrowing. Lily slipped off to the bushes, finding some with timid buds for blossoms.
"'Tuney, look at this watch what we can do." Hermione stood behind, and watched Petunia stomp over to her, intent on cowing Lily into recitance.
She was quite confused. For one, she wanted Lily to be careful, but she saw no reason to hide their magic. She looked around the park, carefully, and spotted a dark shape, half hidden by a tree and the undergrowth. It looked like someone might be hiding, but it wasn't a grown someone.
Hermione's eyes went wide, and started over to the sisters, but not because Lily was beckoning her. Lily said "Look, Petuney, look what we can do." then smiled and touched a bud upon a bush.
Hermione stepped close, keeping a wary eye on the shape. Lily grabbed Hermione's hand and placed it over the rose bush. Her intent was clear- she wanted to make it bloom. As soon as she thought it, Lily made it the blossom fully bloom in pink and yellow and close again and bloom and close again.
Petunias face, no longer under the guise of being angry, grew scared. She paled and said, "Stop it! Stop it, this instant!"
Lily frowned, wrinkling her brow prettily. "It's not hurting you, or anything."
Petunia stumbled back clutching her skirt tightly in a white knuckled grip. Lily released the flower and Hermione's hand. She remained silent though she felt she ought to say to her sister, that that wasn't the best rationale for an excuse to do something.
"It's not right," Petunia said, her hands still gripping her skirt. Her eyes on the flower bush. The flower remained in bloom, the only flower on the bush. "How...do you do that?"
Hermione then felt like her heart was breaking at the longing in the eldest Evans sisters voice. She couldn't imagine what would have happened if her magic was taken from her, or if she knew about magic and couldn't perform it. She didn't dwell on it, resolving to solve the matter of saving Petunia Evans' heart for a different day.
Hermione watched the shadow move. Covered mostly in a big mans jacket and oddly shaped boots, the small human stepped forward from his hiding place next to the tree. Hermione went behind Lily as the boy with lank black hair, a melancholic face and a fierce expression in his black eyes said, "It's obvious, isn't it?" Petunia let out a small scream and fled back to the swings.
Lily turned, certainly surprised to find him there, but not as shocked as Hermione was, for entirely different reasons."What's so obvious? If it's obvious then it shouldn't be mentioned."
The boy was nervous by his body language but his face was excited. "I know what you are."
"Humans?" Hermione said. She couldn't help it, it had slipped out albeit with more pepper than she intended and she came up by Lily.
"No! You're witches." He stepped forward, almost pleading with Lily, who looked quite to be on the verge of being affronted.
"That's not a very nice thing to say to girls." She turned her nose up at him and hooked her arm to Hermione's, intent on flouncing off.
"He's right." Hermione said quietly, just because it was almost painful to see him so eager and then so crushed. So easily could she see the cold, older man that he would be, the man that she admired despite his poisonous personality.
Lily looked at her, but Severus jumped in "There's nothing bad about being a witch. My mum is one, and I am a wizard." He gave a crooked smile, hope coloring his face with bright spots of color on his pale skin.
Lily seemed to simply accept Hermione's word and didn't drag her off in a fit of affrontation.
Hermione turned to Snape, "I am Hermione-" she stopped suddenly but Lily covered perfectly, unintentionally. "I'm Lily. And that was our eldest sister Petunia. We're are you?"
He licked his lips and said "Severus, Severus ...Snape."
Hermione looked over at Petunia looking over at them from the swing set.
Hermione said, "I'll go talk to Petunia."
She walked over to their sister with purpose. Petunia had crossed her arms and looked contemptuously victorious and said snootily, "That's that Snape boy, he lives down on Spinners end."
"So? Just because of where people live and the circumstances they are born in doesn't make them who they are, Petunia. Go and tell Mummy and Da that we're going to have a friend join us for lunch and we want them to meet him."
Petunia scoffed and said loudly, "That's a laugh, you two are going to come with me. You're not going anywhere near that boy."
Hermione turned back to look at Lily and Snape. Snape was attempting to convey with one waving arm something wonderful. Lily had tilted her head and watched with reserved fascination, but he had stopped at Petunias spitting words. His jeans were obviously too short, the overcoat was shoddy and he had tightened his overcoat around his skinny frame. In this moment she was so reminded of Harry, it hurt.
Petunia moved past Hermione with an air of going to get her way. "Lily!" She called out imperiously, imitating their mother but in a harsher way. "Lily! That boy was spying on us we don't want to talk to him."
Hermione huffed and blew hair out of her eyes in frustration. Snape called down from where Lily was standing with him. The wind caught on his jacket making him look extremely melodramatic when he said, "Haven't been spying," the adult condescending tone in his voice was biting, his accent making it rougher.
Hermione saw when the sun burst out of the clouds, the smock he was wearing for a shirt revealed to be dirty, faint discoloration on his face. "I wouldn't spy on you anyway," His face sneering, voice spiteful, "you're a muggle."
Shrilly Petunia said, "Lily, Hermione, we're leaving." Lily glared at Snape and followed Petunia. Hermione watched them walk to her and Petunia snapped, "Come on."
Hermione looked at Severus Snape's face, bitter with disappointment. It was a snap decision, something that came to her suddenly.
It was this day, the reason she was placed here. As close to the beginning as possible. It was because this day, if she was going to make things different, better as she promised to her memories and to herself, it was to begin here.
She ran over to the painfully awkward boy. Strange and ignorant of normal human interaction he stood as a stuck twig in the mud. She ran up to him as fast as she could, running from Petunia and Lily's chorus of protests.
He glared up at her. She said, "Look, maybe if you want to make friends you shouldn't go around being mean to people just because of how they're born. We're coming back to the park soon, so we'll meet up again okay, Severus?"
Severus thin face was split by a smile. Hermione looked into the shy but eager face of Severus Snape and knew that everything was starting much sooner than she thought.
Hermione looked at Petunia and then her parents. Her mother said "Lily, Hermione what were you two thinking? We told you never ever to do that in public where people could see." She was upset because she was frightened, Hermione knew, but she remembered that most of the time children didn't understand that.
Her Da, tight lipped, "It's dangerous. You deliberately did ...what you did, and made your sister very upset-"
Hermione thought that perhaps they expected her to cry, perhaps show recalcitrance. Lily was certainly abashed but she looked at them with a pleading face and said, "There wasn't anyone there!"
Hermione was neither pleading or embarrassed when she said, "I am sorry that you feel that way, and I know that it was dangerous. It is. There was someone there. But that boy that we met-" She had to pause to remember what it was that she was supposed to know about him first. "He said he was a wizard and that he knows what we are. Mummy, Da- we can learn a lot from him and it looked like he was in desperate need of a friend."
She looked back to Lily who was nodding profusely and then stopped at the part where Severus needed a friend. Hermione turned back to her parents, attempting to explain. They looked a little taken aback as she continued matter of factly, "I am sorry for upsetting Petunia, but it has been a long while since we've been able to go to the park, and Lily's -er, and I've been so excited it's- well, it's hard to hold it in."
She looked at their faces and seeing as they weren't visibly convinced she plowed onward, attempting to convey the importance of this meeting.
"We promise we'll behave and we'll come straight home." Lily turned to her with her hands on her hips and sounded like she was reminding her of something that she thought should have been obvious, "Hermione, that Snape was mean to Petunia, we're not his friends."
Hermione said back patiently, "Yes, but Petunia was mean to him first." She didn't believe for one minute he didn't hear her speak down to him. She would definitely have to deal with prejudice. Her parents looked at each other and seemed to have kind of a telepathic conversation with their eyebrows. Hermione was stubborn and she wasn't going to risk Lily not having Severus Snape as a friend, or vice versa.
They were granted permission by their parents, under the conditions that as long as they met him for lunch, they didn't go over to his house, and that they were home long before dark.
Hermione couldn't help the smile of success, and she turned to Lily and said, "Come on Lily, it'll be great. I bet he can tell us loads."
Lily huffed, "I don't see him at all, you suppose we should just start eating them now?"
Hermione shook her head, "Honestly Lily, have a lick of patience. He's around but clearly doesn't like being out- look." She nodded her head towards the bushes that they had been over by earlier.
Severus was seated under one of the trees, hugging his knees and didn't seem to be waiting for them.
Hermione nudged her sister, and tilted her head meaningfully. Lily pursed her lips and said, "Oi you there- Snape. We brought a picnic."
Severus jerked his head up and grabbed the ground. Hermione and Lily started walking over to him.
Hermione said, "Do you know a good spot to eat out sandwitches?"
Severus, caught off guard said in a perfectly flat voice, "I don't have any...food for a picnic." There was a little northerner lilt to his voice that hadn't been there earlier.
Lily shrugged, "Show us a good spot to eat them and you can have the crisps and the sandwich."
Severus nodded and turned to the thicket.
Once they had laid out the blanket and found a nice shady spot that buffered the wind Lily couldn't hold it in anymore. "So, you're a wizard? How do you know?"
Severus looked awkward, standing at the edge of the picnic blanket but he drew himself up and said, "My mother teaches me spells. She lets me use her wand sometimes and let's me read all her old books- sometimes."
Lily gaped. "Your mom has a wand?"
Severus grinned- "Yer- she does like, it's real gas."
Hermione patted the blanket and opened the lid and wondered how Severus Snape ever cultivated that silky intonation. Lily was sitting with her ankles folded and looked delighted that there was such a thing as a wand. Severus jerkily sat down across from Lily and shot a look at the basket.
Hermione proffered two sandwiches wrapped in paper towels out to the both of them, and Lily took it. Severus just held his hand up so that she could put it in his hand.
Lily asked, "Do you have your own wand?" unwrapping her sandwich.
Severus shook his head and followed suit. "Not yet, Mum's been saving up so I can get my own when I go to Hogwarts this year-"
"Hogwarts?" Lily asked brightly, "What a silly name- is that a school?" She took a bite of her sandwich.
He nodded, "They send the requirements by owl post but earlier if you request it- especially if you have to get it by muggle mail."
Lily's eyes narrowed. "You said that word earlier- you called my sister that. It doesn't sound very nice you know, and I know you weren't being very polite."
He looked at his sandwich, "It's just- a person who isn't magic. My old man is a muggle." He shrugged like a string twitched his shoulder up and down.
Lily looked narrowly at him, and Hermione said easily, "I hope you like your sandwich - our mum made the bread." She took a bite and watched as Severus began to devour his sandwich.
Hermione had hers out but set one half aside. Lily asked, "So, what kind of magic does your mum do? Did she go to Hogwarts?"
Severus, after he gulped down the sandwich explained Hogwarts and answered as many of Lily's questions as he could between crisps and before Hermione noted it was getting dark.
They came home early evening, as promised, to the radio running on her Da's show that he liked listening to as he sat in the living room. His face was a little grim and Hermione had caught just a gist of the Irish riots happening today. He turned it off when they came home and their mummy told them to wash up before the games, taking the picnic basket from them.
Hermione thought while she washed up, thoughtlessly agreeing enthusiastically with Lily about her excitement of everything that Snape told them. Her thoughts turned inward, calculating in order to cope with this new and strange way of being trapped. She should think of security for her family already, she didn't know how powerful Voldemort was or what was happening specifically during this time.
She didn't know if it was connected to any happenings in the Muggle world, but while putting on clean clothes in their room with Lily who was so excited to tell their parents that she had put on her shirt backwards, she certainly thought she should.
She followed her twin as she tore down the stairs.
Severus could be better, and today was a good start, but- she stopped on one of the steps, eyes widening as she considered the multitude of impacts she would be able to have. What if by insisting that Severus be exposed to muggles, to continuously battle his hatred that he would not be driven towards the Death Eaters?
If he wasn't driven to the Death Eaters, how would they get information from the inside in the coming war?
She leaned on the staircase banister. As she heard her Da ask what games the girls wanted to play that night and Mrs. Evans call from the kitchen "Jac, do you want coffee?"
"Yes dear! Lily, where's Hermione?"
Lily popped her head out of the living room looking straight at Hermione, "She's right here- what're you doing?" Hermione quickly met her down at the bottom and Lily giggled as their Da swooped around the corner and grabbed the both of them. Lily shouted a laugh from surprise and giddy joy.
"I was deciding on Trouble- for the game that I want to play." Hermione laughed but it was colored with her sense of dramatic irony in regards to her situation.
"Trouble, huh? You girls are enough trouble I think we should play Gin Rummy. Ha-ha! How was your day at the park?"
Lily explained things as only an in awe ten year old could, all about what Severus told them about there being a school for wizards and witches and it being the best school in wizarding England. That they would get a letter soon by owl or maybe they would get it by a Professor coming to their door. She told them that there were more than just them out there there was a whole world.
Her Da was genuinely interested, his face excited and both parents laughed in joy when they heard that there were others out there like their daughters and they could go learn to do great things. Concern dawned on her Mummys face when she asked "What about doing 'magic' though, isn't it bad to do it where other people can see? What should they think I wonder..." Petunia was listening wistfully, interested but pretending she was above it all. She nodded and said, "It's abnormal."
Her Da frowned and her Mummy said, "I'm more worried about what they'll do. You have to be careful girls. Sometimes different isn't good." Petunia certainly heard those words, nodding.
Their Da asked, "How did the Snape boy like his lunch?"
Lily looked at Hermione, but Hermione didn't know what to say either and preferred to let Lily take charge again.
"He liked the lunch a lot Da. Boy, he sure wolfed it down. He doesn't have very good manners." Lily said a little prissily.
Hermione set her piece down on the board and in order to clarify that the manners was just in regards to food, she stated, "I don't think he gets a lot of lunch." It was someone's turn to move on the board game Trouble that they were playing, but it didn't seem to matter.
Mr. Evans scratched his chin and looked at Mrs. Evans. "I see." Hermione could see that they were pitying the poor child in Spinner's End, a place they had warned them away from, across the river.
When they were tucked into bed that night her Mummy kissed her forehead and told her that she loved her and that she was so proud of them. Proud that they were gifted. She almost teared up, for her own parents, the Dr.'s, had such reservations about her world. Her Da made sure their blankets were tucked in tight around them and told them he was there for them, then he turned out the lights and said, "Good night my little Mabi fie, don't let the faeries nip at your noses."
Lily said after they were gone "I'm glad to be different." Hermione responded in the dark,"Yes."
She yawned "Do you think 'Tuney will go with Mummy to her fancy bakery tomorrow? I want to go to the park again, even if it's cold."
"Maybe." Hermione felt the love and comfort radiate out of her. "Maybe we should invite Severus to our birthday party."
Lily sleepily said, "Oh yes, let's ask tomorrow."
Her mind was exhausted but she found she could not sleep, so full of ideas and possibilities she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
They weren't able to see Snape the next day, so they couldn't invite him to their birthday party they would have next Saturday, but their Da took the three girls to the zoo on the tram and told them that it was an early birthday present.
She found that it became easier every day she woke up as a child to pretend to be one. Startlingly easy, especially when people treated her as a child. She blended in and remained quiet when she was unsure of things that she shouldn't know in school, and stuck to Lily.
It was much easier as it was expected of the twins to be so close. Lily didn't notice anything amiss except a few times that Hermione was thinking especially hard about what she would do to make sure that certain things would happen.
Lily would snap her out of it by asking a certain question that had required a thoughtful answer, or a silly question that required a ridiculous one. The party was a little overwhelming since all the girls in the class and some of Petunias friends came over, and it was so exhausting she ended up taking a new book she had gotten and hidden away.
A girl named Emily found her accidently when she was looking for a place to escape and they curled up behind the coats in the closet with a reading light and hid till they heard parents come fetch the children away. Hermione felt as if it was a pity she didn't make a friend like Emily when she was in primary school.
It wasn't until long after their birthday that they were able to see Severus Snape again. They were allowed to go to the park on weekends when it wasn't rainy and cold out and they found Severus Snape waiting there under the tree that they first met him at, crouching as if he would have to start over again by spying.
Hermione smiled when Lily, pretending to not be as desperately interested as she was, stated, "Well, we're here. Please, continue to tell us more. I'd like to know whether there are any magical creatures."
Severus smiled his crooked smile and described in detail the wondrous and the horrible. Lily plopped down in front of Severus as he held out his finger. Hermione was amused to find that Severus Snape had a great dramatic flair for storytelling. If only because he came alive for magic.
She lay upon the grass and listened to Severus explain somethings and admit ignorance in others. Lily asked, "Aren't there good magical creatures Severus? They're not all dark are they?"
Severus paused, clearly not as thrilled with these, "Well, there are unicorns, or so I've read."
Lily's eyes grew so big they may have popped out. "Uni-Unicorns!" She gasped, "They're real? Oh my-" she whipped around to Hermione to share in her amazement "Unicorns are real!"
Severus snorted, but then smirked "Yes, the purest creatures to ever walk the earth," He said loftily, softly, then turned to her with a voice of affectation and a wry expression, "Their blood carries a curse, dark and horrible." Lily's face of hope and wonder was crestfallen.
Hermione, despite herself, giggled and said "Severus, you're horrible."
He was positively cheeky.
As Spring slowly came to full bloom, it was nearly every weekend that they went to the park to meet Snape.
Lily greeted him warmly, running right up to him and saying such things like, "Severus! I want to know if just anybody can do what we do!"
Lily was a fountain of questions, and Severus answered them with pride and a sense of joy at being needed. He explained that there was different kinds of magic, like potions and charms and he included that some people are just more adept at doing subjects like Transfiguration is more natural than Charms to some people. Lily a little worried at this revelation said, "Mummy and Da say that I'm good at all my subjects, but what if magical school isn't like … muggle school?" She said, the lilt of a question at the end verifying if she used the term muggle correctly.
Severus appeared to actually think about this briefly before saying "Your wand will help you be better at things that you're naturally gifted at I think."
Hermione added, perhaps a bit sharper than she meant to, "Even if something doesn't come naturally to you, you can work hard and succeed at it. People must work to be where they are," she halted her lecture abruptly when she saw that Lily and Snape were looking at her as if they were about to admonish her for not being cool 'groovy' or whatever kids these days said.
She quoted, "Well, like...we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that." Looking at Lily with a pleading look on her face.
Thankfully, her twin got the reference to the childhood favorite. Lily moved on, demanding stories about great and powerful wizards. Severus compiled. Hermione had heard the tales before, but the she was worried that there was a little bit of a morbid twist to these tales he'd spin about the stories of wizards. They were entertaining, however. She found Snape to be quite clever, witty, and brilliant but certainly more than a little thorny and more than a bit dark.
Lily said, dazzled, "Where do you learn all of this from?"
He shrugged "Mostly my mother…" He trailed off as if he was going to include some information but thought better of it. Hermione looked at him thoughtfully, trying to figure out the best way to broach the subject when there was a call, "Evanses! Hey!" Lily turned to the voice, and said, "Oh! It's Clara and Patricia- Hallo Clara, hey Patty!" She called back and made a motion for Hermione and Snape to follow. Hermione was a little hesitant, she wasn't too sure about the girls. They seemed nice enough to her and her twin, but Hermione was a tad reminded of her previous childhood, when genetics hadn't been as kind and she had been more...awkward. They had been one of the reasons she had hid at her own birthday.
Severus seemed to have similar reservations and wrapped his overcoat around himself securely.
Their voices floated over to them, Lily clear and ringing out, "Yes, I am- Why?"
They tittered and threw sidelong glances at Severus. He sighed and turned to leave, Hermione reached out her hand on his shoulder and said, "You said you read from books too? Maybe...sometime you could bring them. Lily would like it too."
He tossed a sidelong glance back at Lily. "I'll try to bring some tomorrow." He shrugged her hand off and darted away, his overcoat making him look not unlike a bat. A laugh ripped out of her for the absurdity of the picture he made though it wasn't the pure childlike laughter out of recent habit.
She wished he would open up about his family.
Later, she wished she had never thought it.
When they met up with him the next day, he looked dour, pinched even. They came up to them by their regular spot next to the tree overhanging the creek and he muttered "Sorry, I couldn't bring a book."
Lily piqued, "Book? What book?"
Hermione said "I thought we could read a book on magic. School hasn't been very exciting recently." Lily turned towards Severus and said, "Don't be sorry, I like hearing you tell me about things anyway."
Hermione, Lily and Severus would sometimes just get into rambunctious swing set battles or perhaps end up playing tag or chase by just being perfectly silly but that day he winced when Lily punched him on the shoulder and snapped at her, waspishly saying, "Stop it."
Hermione watched carefully. Lily was getting irritated with Snape's tone with her, "What- don't be such a baby, I didn't hurt you."
Hermione interrupted, "No, but- Severus, did you get in trouble for trying to bring us the book?" Severus looked away and plucked at the grass.
Hermione looked at Lily with urging. They both scooched closer to him. Lily placed her arm on his arm and patted his hand. "You can tell us Severus."
Then it came pouring out, his voice tight with anger, determinedly looking down the grass he was furiously plucking out of the earth. How his Father doesn't like it when his mother talks about magic, how he doesn't like it when she asks him to do things or not to do things. He gets bossy, that he drinks and gets angry, and he's angry when he doesn't drink. That he doesn't like books and it makes him hateful. At the culmination of "I hate it, I hate him!" Tufts of grass came flying up out of the earth.
Lily flung her arms around Severus, and he became very still, unmoving. She said, voice thick with tears "Sev, oh- I hate him too. Come to dinner with us tonight, you don't have to go home right away. I feel bad- you were trying to do something nice for us!"
Hermione was angry. His mother was a witch! She just let herself be pushed around, let her son - her child be hit? It didn't make sense. She could just take the child and leave him, surely there was some way that she could procure a job find a way to support herself, hide herself from the Father with magic of all things?
Snape pushed Lily away. "No, I don't like pity. I'll be better one day, I'm going to be sorted into Slytherin, where the ambitious and clever go."
Lily, watched him, saddened he had pushed her away, but she asked "At Hogwarts? The school has houses... and Slytherin is one of them right?"
Hermione was quiet and listened to the fervor present in Snape's voice, "Yes, and that's where wizards go to become great." Hermione didn't dare challenge him on that, not even by saying that other wizards have become great in other houses.
She did say, "It's not pity." Lily supported her with whole hearted nodding and added, "Yes, Severus come to dinner with us."
He gave her a suspicious narrow look, tight mouthed and angry, so very similar to the man she called Professor Snape. "Don't boss me."
Lily was taken aback, she had never been told no so vehemently except by her eldest sister. Hermione said, not to be cowed so, "We're just offering you a place to have dinner at if you didn't feel especially inclined to go home. We want you to come." Hermione gave a nudge to Lily. It took a little of Lily's convincing but eventually he succumbed simply to her sincerity.
Hermione smiled, pleased, and felt more than the love of a sister, but as a person that recognizes goodness and cherishes it.
It was almost painfully awkward to watch Severus skulk around in front of the house. Lily had went in to fetch their parents to the front door.
Of course, their Mummy had said yes, of course he could stay for dinner. She beckoned him over and when he slouched over nervously he didn't look into her face. She bequeathed him with a pat on the shoulder and said, "It's lovely to meet you Severus, I'm Mrs. Penelope Evans and this is Mr. Jac Evans. If you need anything let us know." She placed her arm on his shoulder, and their Da said, "Come in, better wash up first. Lily n' Hermione will show you where the sink is at."
At the dinner table, Petunia stared at him with narrowed eyes and tight lips. She was looking at the woman's smock shirt he wore with his short jeans disdainfully. It was nerve wracking for Hermione to see him at the table with the overcoat still on. Hermione had jumped to help her mum with getting out all the dishes, and only vaguely alluded to why they had Snape over for dinner when she was asked.
Her Da drummed his fingers on the table and looked at the boy, "I have to thank you,"
Snape looked up at him startled that he was speaking to him, thanking him.
Carefully, he said "For what, sir?" a trace of fear an undercurrent in his voice.
Hermione entered the dining room with dishes and placed one in front of her Father.
"For looking out for my daughters, of course. They tell me you are a veritable font of information, Severus."
She placed one quickly in front of Petunia, and then hers and Lily's spot.
Severus darted his eyes downward. "I try, sir."
Her Da scratched his chin, "I like to think I can protect my girls, Severus, but the world is far wider than I know. I can tell you're a fierce sort- would you mind keeping an eye on them while I'm not there if you go ahead to that school of yours?"
Severus looked at him as if he had been given a gift he wasn't sure he deserved. He said, "Yes- I mean, no. I will, sir."
Hermione, taking pity on the direct moment after, smothered Petunias noise of disapproval with a scoff of her own, "Da, I think that we can take care of ourselves once we get learning. You didn't raise us to be ninnys." She placed the plate in front of Severus, catching the embarrassment on his face and pretending she didn't see it.
Lily entered, catching on, "Yes, not ninnys."
Severus, livining at Lily's bright presence, said, "They're named delicate flowers- certainly not ones, even if some of them like to think themselves as such." Hermione snorted and mirrored her Da's short burst of laughter. Snape looked too pleased with himself for his own comfort, and Lily playfully narrowed her eyes at him.
"Oh Ha- Ha," Her soft twin mocked, and dinner commenced amicably.
Hermione would sometimes go to the public library to gather books on the art of war, planning, previous battles in history, things to do to strengthen her defenses, help her strategy for the future. She gathered one of these once a week and switched out the covers with another book to avoid suspicion. She dallied at some point in the physics and experimental sciences section but she honestly couldn't find anything in the public access for understanding time.
Lily would come with her, but Hermione distracted her by usually convincing one of their school friends to come with them. They sometimes got books as well but she would place an order for a book that she found in the box with thousands of index cards in them to have it ready for her to pick up at her desk spot that they reserved. It was a definite hassle from the simplicity of the Hogwarts library, where she could take the books out of the library, but useful nonetheless.
Attracting unwanted attention however was another matter. Thankfully however, Lily was bright, curious, and so they were expected to be a bit precocious. Normal 10 year old girls, however, liked reading books about runaway boxcar children, or books by Judy Blume, not Sun Tzu.
Lily, spying this quiet investment of books that were certainly more adult, tried to help her out by mentioning her interests to their parents. She had sensed her twins frustration with the limited time at the library. One night over dinner, her Da looked at her and pointed to her with the end of his fork thoughtfully.
There was still a bit of chicken dangling from the tip, which attracted the disparaging attention of her mum, but before she could tell him to mind his manners he said, "Hermione, what is it that you are reading about war for? Are you worried about something?"
Hermione stilled, the delicious braised chicken with pine nuts and vegetables halfway to her mouth. She bought herself time and chewed thoughtfully. He pressed her by saying as gently as possible, "Lily mentioned the other day that maybe I should show you some books that I had for your interests, but I can't see that you'd get much out of them."
She chewed until it couldn't be chewed anymore, and said with an ounce of the conviction she felt, "I want to be a political activist when I grow up." And promptly stuck some more food in her mouth.
Her father pondered this for a while and her mother looked at her, "It's going to be really hard to do that duckie."
Hermione, determined tone in her voice said "I can change things- if I do it right."
She looked at her Da, Jac Evans, and saw that he may have asked another question, as was written in the quizzical lines around his eyes, but he smiled and said "Let's see if I can help with that."
Hermione Granger felt something defining relax into Hermione Evans. In just those few words of unconditional support for the burgeoning of this life, she felt both of her worlds colliding, falling upright together.
Notes: Attempted use of 1970's slang.
Yes, they were supposed to have met Severus when they were nine, but Hermione doesn't know this. Hermione doesn't know a lot of things.
Listened to "Any Other Name" by Thomas Newman.
1mabi fi: My babies
2del: Sweet in being young
Caru: Family love
