AN: As promised from the previous chap, I'm going to dedicate this to the person who gave me my first review, CabiidO! Thanks so much to you and to the others who reviewed a big Banzai! To you guys as well, to my readers, hope you continue to support me Hope you guys review.


Will you ever Learn?

Part 1: Discord

MELLO

Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

Matt's still playing that damn game… Fine.

I didn't bother to speak another word to Matt directly, even though we offered each other ourselves last night… And what an unforgettable night that was… I fled away from him after our last kiss and walked directly to the bathroom to cleanse myself of all things 'Matt-ly.'

Why'd the hell did I feel that I should do it anyway? When every bit of Matt was my existence?

Whoosh….

The water from the hot shower rushed fast and heavy… Soon enough, I could feel the steam envelope the walls and it was starting to get misty… It was just what I needed. Shade.

Shade from the emptiness that I was feeling… Shade from the discord that lurked in my thoughts that was reflected in my facial expression… Shade from everything that was un-Mello.

I could never forgive my damn self if Matt freaking saw me like this! I mean… Last night… when I… That was…

Sigh…

What was the use? What's done is done…

It was starting to reek of cigar smoke, how'd I notice? Well, I was already disrobing when I saw that Matt from time to time kept on pacing outside the bathroom to peek, I smirked at this but shut the door and locked it.

Click!

"What the hell Matt? Can't you give me some alone time?" I yelled out, assuming that he wouldn't hear me.

I heard a chuckle coming from the other side of the door, as I leaned in, as expected from Matt, he resumed to his gaming.

What delightful tune Matt's laughter brought about!

Damn it, just a few more hours to go until show time…

Did he actually think that playing a SIMS version of us could make things so … sigh… Real? Whatever… I'll let him be his own childish self. Whatever could divert him into the events that we'll… hopefully…overcome, then, he has my blessing.

I loosened up the blanket that covered my other half and let it slide through the floor. I also felt a slight pressure and heard a teensy clanging, "Hm?" My eyes darted my chest. "Oh… I almost forgot…" I gripped the rosary tight and for a second took a glimpse of my self at the foggy mirror.

I paused and didn't blink.

"Is this…?" I walked towards it still grasping my holy beads, undressed and wiped the mirror clean with my free hand. "Me?" I started to outline the burnt part of my face. This is what Matt had to live with ever since I left him for the Mafia. Shit!

Thud!

I couldn't help but punch the mirror. NO. I did NOT like what I saw, a distorted man with a distorted heart!

The cracks on the mirror were very visible but not a single piece fell and not one blood dripped from my fist, it did turn a slight shade of crimson but nothing more, was it because I clenched the rosary?

"Mels? You okay?"

Figures…I grinned a bit at his reaction.

Matt for some reason has bionic ears, kind of irritating actually, but it mattered to me, just the same, "I'm fine." I replied pretending to be gloomy, still focusing on my reflection.

"Enough of this shit!" I huffed and relaxed my face.

After I breathed deeply, I hung the rosary to where Matt's scarf dangled as well…

"Finally…" I whispered, entering the shower cubicle. I occasionally let out heavy breaths, I was insanely scrubbing myself as if I could literally 'wash my hands clean" of my offenses, but I was deeply concerned about what could happen after…my… I wanted to play 'Pontius' but whom was I kidding?

"I wonder… Will everything go on as planned?"

"Mels? You okay?"

He knocked.

My eyes closed momentarily and I inhaled deeply, "Great! Just great! What now?"

His knocking stopped, "You sure are slow…" his voice faded.

Matt.

Don't you get it? I'm waiting for you to leave! Come on man, make it easier for both of us, it's going to be one hell of a storm at evening, I cant be all caught up with Kira and thinking about you at the same time, give me a damn break!

I went out the cubicle, wrapping my lower half and left the water running, taking careful steps to the door, I reached for the knob and made a creak, "Matt," My voice was a bit shaky, I was indirectly talking to him, I couldn't bare to make eye contact and so I placed myself behind the door just allowed a glint of light to enter the shower room.

Upon hearing my voice, I could hear how his body shifted into my direction, the leather couch was enough proof. "Hm?" He replied. "Wh-"

"It's almost time, we should commence our plans." I cut him off once again.

His rapid fingers were no longer giving off minute 'ticking' sounds.

I felt that he already stood up, I imagined him, popping another cigar into his slender lips and taking a puff.

As soon as he gently dropped his controller, he paced towards me.

Please… Don't come near…

I thought.

"Alright." He finally conceded.

I sad nothing but slammed the door at his face as he sped in my direction.

"Mello!" His fist banged on the door and it slightly shook.

"Just go." I said bluntly. Resting my head on the wood, thrusting my hands against it and sucking it up…damn these emotions…

"Can't I just see you before I leave?? You told me yourself that anything could happen!"

Matt was either exasperating or pleading. Whichever it was… It all meant the same for me…

If I let him in, then everything will crumble… well in Kira's case anyway. The moment that I see Matt, I'll be forced to abort the mission. Leave everything to Near, abandon my pride and drift from all the anticipated excruciating pain.

But what the hell is wrong with that? That's what I really want after all right?

Or is it?

"I will not be a pawn to help you solve your puzzle Near…"

But those words that came from my mouth, haunt me to this day!

"If you don't solve the puzzle the you're just another loser…"

Near, is this a habit of yours? Torturing me?!

You sadist! Thanks a lot.

The banging stopped.

"Fine… I'll go now, if that is what you truly desire."

I heard slow but heavy footsteps.

"Thank you…" I whispered.

He halted.

"I love you too Mels."

There goes his bionic ears again…

Matt…

I'm sorry…

I was sure that he didn't leave, as I pressed my palms on the door trying to absorb everything; how I shunned him, I could feel that he was doing the same. All that stood in between us was a fucking piece of wood! Damn… I feel like I'm surrounded in bars…

There was no air… he's left. Neither of us can tell if we could see each other again after tonight….

It was raining and foggy all over…. I was succumbed into a mist of despair…

My body slid and fell on the floor…

I was in prison…

Every mistake… every damn endeavor, which almost led to failure, was caused by my ploys all along.

You could just imagine what I looked like on the marble tiles… "Mello was not Mello."

My eyes dripped in unwanted tears, my lips bitten by my own, teeth grit, as I crawled and reached out for Matt's scarf and pulling it with all my might…

Clink!

My rosary…

Without thinking twice I gripped it tight and did the only thing that I could at the moment…

I knelt and...

Dear Lord, if you can hear me, can you please save Matt from my destruction?

This was not a false prayer, in fact among all the heed that I asked for, this was the one that I wanted God to listen to.

I begged...

Just once please?

And they say that I'm heartless. But maybe that is my problem; getting too involved with my emotions. It's already become part of me, it's what makes me distinct from Near.

Goddamn!

Oh great, that's blasphemy, another addition to my hall of sins. But who and what was I kidding? I was upset damn it!

But… It has to be done… I can't afford any more set backs, the sooner this is done, the sooner Matt and I will be at peace…

But maybe, just before the bout, we'll permit each other to give our regards personally…

Patience is a Virtue…

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice; they shall be satisfied."

Virtues… the Beatitudes… definitely a good guide. I'm so ashamed that it is only now that I realize their importance.

I finally stood up, wore the rosary around my neck and turned the shower off.

"Storms over and I made bail."

Clinging the door open, I grabbed my clothes and readied myself.

Before I put on my helmet, I secured my phone and took a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Appearances are indeed deceiving, in some cases anyway…

Matt… as L taught us, 'Justice will, without fail, prevail!'

Let us see through it.

"Let's jet!"

"But first…"

My eyes caught sight of a very distinct object wrapped in silver foil, "Matt…" I headed towards it and took the liberty of consuming Matt's little parting gift.

Click!

So sweet…

I did it all, all for you
Hoping you would see
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched
Are we ready? Are we ready?


AN: Phew! After a month and a couple of days waiting… Tada! Chap2 part 1 is finished! Wee! Sorry guys, I had a college entrance test that I had to review on, please pray for my success guys! I will love you guys to death! Thanks hehe hope you liked it and will leave a little something, like I dunno, a review? -wink wink- Sorry if the song lyrics is cut here, you'll see in the next and concluding chapter why :D Thanks so much for reading! :D -Ladystrife914

Watch out for Part 2!

Will you ever learn? : Should I be?