This is a collection of short letters from Sirius' ex girlfriend, Colleen, who is completely fictional and a work of my imagination. This is loosely based off of Daniel Handler's "Why We Broke Up" but does follow the similar format and idea. I've plotted the entire story out in my head and am incredibly pleased. My writing style had developed and improved dramatically and this publishing short stories on is a great way for me to review my current and former writing skills. I do not own anything besides Colleen. Enjoy!


Dear Sirius,

I still don't like quidditch. I still have no idea what's going on. The matches are about an hour long. In the three years we've dated, I attended 21 quidditch matches. I spent 21 matched, 21 hours with locked knees, heavy eyelids, and unfinished homework. 21 hours spent with cheering fans surrounding me. 21 hours spent completely lost and out of place. I was a loyal girlfriend, I was and I'm proud to say that. I spent 21 hours watching you play. I spent a total of 33 hours watching quidditch without you.

When you first asked me out, all my friends laughed in my face. I laughed too. We were friends, but we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Never in a million years, I thought. I still said yes though. I could never turn down free food. It's just illogical.

I assumed we were going to Hogsmeade and maybe things could've turned out differently.

I would've learned that your favorite band was the Wanderers. You would've learned that mine were Sioux Queue. You would've learned that I was a vegetarian and that I drink hot chocolate with a straw. You would've learned that we were two completely different people with no common interests. There was nothing that could've kept us going. We could've stopped right there and never encouraged your small crush. But we didn't.

Instead you took me to quidditch match and paid more attention to the game than to me. And that's why we broke up.

So take back this stupid quidditch book that I promised to read with our quidditch tickets bookmarked on the first page. It takes up enough room on my shelf. Sort of like you.

Always and forever,

Colleen