I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Disney and Squenix do.

Emotional Mix-Up

Chapter

It was another morning, supposed to be as uneventful as the rest of them. If only it was so, Kairi thought to herself with a growl as she pushed herself up to sit on her bed and stared blankly ahead. How many nights has it been since she started having the dream, she wondered idly as she turned to look at her nightstand. There stood a decorated picture frame, showing the girl sporting a wide smile as she was held by her boyfriend. She reached for an item next to it instead, being a star shaped amulet made up of seashells and designed to look like someone not in the picture.

"Another dream of you…" She whispered as she reached to run a finger over the tiny drawn face, yet managed instead to bury the thing in the drawer. The one whose face she ended up caressing was the boy in the picture, and she offered him an apologetic look.

"…But not of you." She whispered sadly and pushed herself up to get ready for the day ahead. It was hardly one she was particularly looking forward to, mind, a fact which was rather ironic, all things considered. Most girls were actually looking forward to it, even if it was a day before Valentine's Day.

"-And it was sooo cute!" The brunette girl chirped that day as she walked by her redheaded friend. "She got this huge eyed teddy with a heart on it and you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?" She accused, making Kairi stop and blink – not because of her friend's words, but because she realized she was walking alone – the other had stopped several steps before. Smiling apologetically, Kairi turned to face her.

"I'm sorry, Selphie… do you mind… repeating that last bit?"

"I do. Very much so." Came the somewhat annoyed reply, yet the angry demeanor melted away into an odd mixture of concern and amusement. "Not that it matters. There's no reaching you on a good day when you're thinking about him and today isn't a good day because of tomorrow. So – no hard feelings." Selphie reassured before turning to wave at the group consisting of four boys waiting by the school gates, ready to leave school grounds. Each and every one was a friend to her since childhood, yet Kairi couldn't, for the life of her, look up at them. Both her past and current crushes were there, after all. Said present crush was smiling and seemed eager to finally get some time to spend with his girlfriend; said past crush kept looking away.

"Hey, hey! Did you guys wait long?" Selphie asked cheerfully, but Kairi paid little attention to the rest of the verbal exchange. Selphie, Tidus and Wakka were as lively as ever and Kairi found herself smiling for a moment at the incoherent noise before letting herself glance at Sora. The boy looked back and for a long moment their eyes met, but it wasn't long lived as soon enough he looked away again. The reason for that turned out to be an arm wrapped around her shoulders which made her look up to find a beaming smile offered down to her. She managed to smile back, but evidently not soon enough as concern filled his cyan colored eyes. Small wonder, she knew, as he noticed much more subtle changes in her mood before. She gave him quite a bit to go on this time, and was actually surprised he kept up a charade in front of their friends. They would no doubt get their alone time later… was he going to question her then, when she wouldn't have anyone else to hide behind, she wondered. It could've been worse though, a part of her knew – the rest of them could've picked up on it, Sora specifically. As it was, however, she was allowed to try and enjoy a day out in town with her friends. If only it was that easy, though, she thought later when she was finally alone, sitting on the bent-over Paopu tree she knew since childhood. Riku was already on his way over, having tied the boat to the small dock. She smiled as she watched him approach yet could only do so for so long before she risked eye contact. She kept her eyes set straight ahead even after he emerged from the wooden door behind her and she budged not in the least even as she heard him cross the hanging bridge. Finally he reached her, his arms wrapping around her waists from behind as he buried his face in her back. He had done so before and she didn't dislike it, quite the opposite, even if she realized then it was beyond mere playfulness – he was offering her the comfort of contact without the burden of facing each other. She could continue staring ahead as he inhaled her scent, the both of them somewhat content until the girl gathered her thoughts enough to tell him what was on her mind.

Sadly, it only made matters worse for her. The girl reached to hug herself as she curled up, head bowed down in shame. She felt his arms around her, a warm, strong presence and a shiver ran down her back. She was the worst, wasn't she? To be together with such a considerate, affectionate, gentle… perfect guy in such a perfect place and be unable to dream about him…

"I don't deserve you." Kairi whispered as the waves crashed against the shore, only to withdraw immediately afterward. Her hands on the other hand kept holding onto his arms to the point her fingernails left pale white marks over his skin. He in return remained silent for a long moment and tightened his hold over her, much to her surprise she realized she shouldn't have felt. He wasn't one to pull away over something like that, after all.

"This again, huh…" He hummed idly, voice laced with bitter amusement. "Been a while since the last time." And if he ever wanted to shatter her, that was all that was needed; this wasn't the first time she felt she was betraying this person she cared so much for.

"Riku…" She began softly, eyes still set far away. "Am I really… that confused? Is my determination to make this work… so weak?" She pulled a bit away from him and was grateful when he let her. She turned to face him and had to push her hair away from her face. There he was, wasn't he? The person she's been with for so long now… she couldn't help but smile apologetically down at the concerned expression he was showing her. Her hand soon enough met his cheek and she had to blush when he tilted his head so as to press a kiss against her palm.

"Whenever I look at you, I know what I want. I'm so certain of it, not a speck of doubt in me…" Her second hand came to rest over his other cheek as well and she leaned forward over him, eyes closed. "But then I close my eyes, and it's like none of that matters. I keep seeing someone else, wanting him… longing for him…" She raised her hand to her chest, fist clenching over her Heart. "But why is it it feels like those feelings… aren't my own?"

Her eyes widened as she felt his hand reaching to take hold of her own and she had to look at him in confusion. Riku on his part had an odd mixture of sadness and bitterness paint his expression. The weirdest part about it was the knowing air he had about him, and the touch of apology that left Kairi all but lost.

"Then maybe… they aren't." He offered almost offhandedly and refused initially to look at her for a long moment. Once he finally did, his guilt stricken look made Kairi's heart ache. "Maybe they do belong to someone else. Someone… who's using your Heart to feel with."

"Naminé." Came the acknowledging mutter as Kairi looked away. "But… I thought…"

"That she's gone?" Riku asked softly and was rewarded with a tentative nod.

"Because, for a while, I… and Sora seems fine too!" She argued, only to hunch her shoulders a moment later at the distant look that crossed Riku's face. "…isn't he?"

Riku answered with a remotely amused chuckle. "So so, but his troubles are his own." What little amusement he had to offer ebbed away then.

"Roxas doesn't have all that much to hold onto anymore."

"But Naminé… has Sora…" Kairi continued and curled up further. Riku let her – for the time being.

"Those two… had a lot happen between them, and never got any sense of closure. It's not anything either of them could just forget about." Though it wasn't because Naminé didn't try - was something he chose not to add. "I guess it's natural to expect it to get worse around this time of the year." A day before Valentine's Day. Pausing for a moment, he pulled Kairi off the tree, only to catch her with ease before letting her land safely on the floor. "To be this close to the person you care for, without being able to be with them…" He caressed her cheek. She tilted her head into his touch. "I can only imagine what it'd be like." He pulled the girl into his arms then and held her tightly. The girl in return held on just as firmly, trying to draw comfort from the warmth seeping into her. They stayed so for a while, both almost too scared to let go least circumstances pulled them further apart.

"But… what can we do?" Kairi asked eventually, voice muffled against Riku's chest. "How can we hope to solve this?"

He knew the answer for a while, yet dreaded saying it. Now, at long last, it seemed he'd have to swallow both pride and jealousy for the sake of those he cared for the most – for all their sakes.

"It's up to you." Came his reply as he pulled a bit away, making the girl look up at him with confusion shining in her blue spheres.

"What… do you mean?" She asked carefully despite dreading the answer. Riku stalled for a long moment before tightening his hold around the girl's slim figure once more.

"All they want is to see each other… and it is Valentine's. But… there's a person… in the way."

"Me." Kairi concluded as she looked up, only to find his eyes averted.

"…you."

Kairi's eyes lowered then to gaze almost unseeingly at his chest before she pressed her cheek to his shirt. How she relished the feel of that anxious rhythm against her skin… To think though that they were keeping two people near and dear from enjoying this sort of contact…

"I'm sorry." She uttered meekly as she clang to him. "I can't help but be selfish about that."

And he couldn't help but be relieved.

"But… can we really leave things as they are?" She asked with a touch of anxiety and knew not how she felt about his shaking his head.

"No." He replied softly, sadly. "You should know better than any one we can't."

Kairi nodded. Thinking it through again, she knew something had to be done. To not be able to reach someone so close… was perhaps worse than reaching out to someone very fat away. She knew how painful that was, even through the blissful ignorance about Sora's existence for most of that year.

She couldn't even begin to imagine what Naminé was going through.

"I don't intend to step down." She declared without caring if that was even possible or not. "But… do you think it might help if I stepped aside for a bit?"

It wasn't the best idea. It was far too risky, far too 'out there' for comfort. But… did they have any other choice at all? Even for the sake of that last bit of closure…

"…so long as it's just for a bit." Riku replied eventually and successfully managed to swallow most of his possessiveness from his voice. He released not in the slightest his hold, however. "And I get you back afterward."

It wasn't that he wouldn't have been happy to see Naminé… but things were better off this way, he knew – he hoped. As did Kairi, and this time when she closed her eyes there were no foreign images no wishes that belonged to someone else. Only a warm, genuine smile, and an incredible sense of gratitude.

"You will." She reassured and raised her head, giving him the opportunity to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Then in that case… I think I can let him have the girl I love for one night." Riku concluded with a smile that turned a bit awkward soon enough. "I get to keep the girl he likes to myself all year long, after all."

He was rewarded with an amused, hesitant yet relieved giggle before cyan eyes met royal blue ones. And when next Riku leaned down to kiss his girlfriend, Kairi pushed herself up on the tips of her toes and let his lips meet something more interesting than her forehead.