Big Time Razor's Edge
I have good news! I bring you chapter two a half a week early! But I also have some bad news... apparently the meter that measures how much electricity our house uses up is broken so until that is fixed I can't update or use any other electrical appliances (it's cold, my fingernails are purple going towards blue as I'm typing this and I need heat badly!)... I'm sorry!
Chapter Two -
"Logan..."
It didn't help, his name gasped out like a line in a horror movie or the look of fear and sympathy in Kendall's eyes; it made him want to run away, far and fast, just run and keep on running and never look back...
And worst of all, it made him want to hurt himself all the more. Because that he could do, easily and without a thought... but he never wanted to hurt them.
But you always hurt the ones you love. Isn't that how the saying went? So it came to reason that sooner or later he would hurt them, all the same.
And it was that realization that made him give in, turned him from the cornered creature, pressed against the wall with eyes as wide as saucers to the worn and weary Logan, head lolling to his chest, who was just plain tired.
"Logie?"
There was something warm massaging his shoulder, gripping his neck, lifting his head... comfort. He didn't deserve it.
This wasn't supposed to be happening, they weren't supposed to know, they weren't supposed to find out...
They weren't supposed to be the ones freaking out or near tears and, damn it, he could hear it in Kendall's voice, the slight hitch, the ever so subtle crack forming on the dam that would eventually break. And it was all his fault.
"Logie? Can you hear me? It's all right. It'll be okay; we'll get you to a hospital and you'll be fine..."
The crack was getting bigger, deeper and wider. Dams were built for a reason, he had to make sure this one didn't burst.
"'s not as bad as it looks. Jus' need to clean it up and sle'p it off..."
"But you're..."
"Hey..." The warmth felt nice, so nice... "'m gonna be a doct'r, 'member?"
He was the smart one, and he'd be damned before he let anyone take that from him.
The soothing warmth seemed to agree and left, presumably to follow its orders.
He was dreaming. No, he wasn't. When had he fallen asleep? He hadn't. A nap. A cat nap. He liked cats. He must have dozed off...
Warmth was back along with fluffy... stuff. Stuff was towel. Right. Focus, Logan, must stay focused. His arm and wrist and hand were being cleaned with something wet. A washcloth. But there was no pain. A washcloth soaked in water then. Warmth wrapped itself around his forearm.
"This is gonna sting..."
Logan bit his tongue. Don't scream, don't scream... He still whimpered as wetness ran across his wounds and became an evil, burning entity eating him alive; God, he hated antiseptic.
Warmth had a cousin it seemed, long and flexible and somewhat stretchy: thy name was bandages. They wrapped around him, mostly covering and keeping the wound but also winding around his hand, between this pointer and his thumb, as was the rule; for injuries of the wrist, immobilize the hand so as not to risk aggravating the injury.
Skritch. The tearing of tape to hold the bandage in place. Skritch.
The injured area was warm now.. warm was good, warm was healing.
"Are you sure you shouldn't go to the hospital?"
"'m shure."
"Okay. Can you walk?"
Logan blinked. It was Kendall in front of him, Kendall and his twin. Blink. No, that was silly, there was only one Kendall. Blink, blink. Ah, there he was. What was it that he'd been asked? He was sure it was absurd at the time...
Apparently he'd taken too long to answer because Kendall was pulling him up by his good hand.
Oh, standing was not his friend... although it looked like bungee jumping certainly was, judging by how the floor seemed to rush up to meet him before he was pulled away. But he'd fallen... wait, no, he hadn't. But his feet couldn't feel the floor...
He was being carried. Wonderful. As if the day couldn't possibly get any worse, he was being treated like a little child, like an invalid; his wrist itched.
Was this how people were going treat him from now on? Carefully, cautiously, like a piece of glass? Like a frayed rubber band about to snap? He was still Logan, the smart one, the cautious one, the one one who wanted to be a doctor, who was shy around girls, even if the girl liked him back, the one who-the one who buckled under pressure whether it was fainting or cutting...
He couldn't do anything right, could he?
He shivered even as he was layed down on his bed and covered with extra blankets. Curling up on his side, he hid his face under the covers so that Kendall wouldn't see the treacherous tears escaping his eyes. The bed sank besides him.
"Are you okay? Is there anything else I can get you?"
He wanted to scream, "I'm not an infant! I can take care of myself!" But all he could do was try not to whimper and break apart even further. He never wanted anyone to see him like this: weak, pathetic. And yet, there was a little part of him that didn't care anymore, that wanted Kendall to stay and sit with him and comfort him even if he didn't deserve it.
"I'm fine."
Damn it! His voice apparently decided not to listen to him and sent warmth and comfort away with a steady lie.
A moment's hesitation was all Logan needed to know that there was something more on Kendall's mind but he was too afraid to ask what it was. And apparently even the man who had an answer for everything couldn't seem to find the words to give voice to his thoughts. And so he gave up and left.
Logan curled up even tighter and let his thoughts blur together until they disappeared and all that was left were tears and sobs. But everything must come to an end, and so that, too, faded away into the black nothingness of sleep.
I'm not all too happy with the ending of this chapter; something about it is still nagging at me... but oh, well. I deem it publish-worthy... and so does my beta so here it is! How'd y'all like Logan's POV, hmm?
See ya next chapter!
