Chapter 2 The engagement party

That Saturday Strallan was dressed by his valet after taking a long bath and washing his hair.

After the meeting with Lady Painswick he had returned to his club, where he had spent infinitely more time since walking out on his wedding; he had consulted Who's Who but there was no Sir James Kelly listed. Perhaps he was nouveau riche or newly titled and not soon enough to make the current edition.

Strallan could not shake the sense of foreboding he felt; if Lady Edith had got mixed up with a bad one out of desperation then he knew he would be to blame.

He was driven to Downton where he was greeted by Carson.

"Good evening Sir Anthony."

"Good evening Carson," he felt sick to the stomach but he knew he had to at least see this man to whom Lady Edith was sacrificing her happiness and all hopes of him.

He went on into the ball room. Lady Mary greeted him.

"I'm glad you could make it; I realise it can't be easy for you."

"That must be the understatement of the decade, "he thought bitterly. Outwardly he smiled.

"It took more courage than you know but I want to wish Lady Edith well; she is better off that way."

The party was in full swing and he sat on the sidelines watching. He caught sight of her across the room and she smiled at him. She was dressed in a shiny silvery blue gown which looked enchanting on her slender figure and his chest tightened. If he had gone through with it then they would have been at Locksley now, making love or just sitting and talking. He had been trying to kid himself that he didn't care but the meeting with Lady Painswick and ensuing conversation had convinced him how bad he was at lying to himself. Now he had seen her again he found himself wanting to protect her, to take her away from this man whom Lady Painswick had painted to be the devil incarnate but were he to do so he would seen as the jealous would have been husband who had made the worst mistake of his life. Never did he realise the enormity of that mistake more than now and he tried to blink away tears feeling that his heart was going to break.

Moments later she was standing beside him, standing on his left.

Her smile smashed his heart into a million pieces.

"Hello Sir Anthony; thank you for coming as I realise it must have been far from easy."

"It was harder than you can ever know," he said, "am I to meet the lucky man so I can wish you both well?"

"He'll be over in a minute or two once he gets away from my grandmother."

Across the room he spotted Lady Grantham talking to a slim young man, aged about thirty with dark hair. He was shorter than Strallan by some four inches.

"Please don't be sad," she whispered, "I have forgiven you for you did the best thing."

"Did I?" he thought bitterly.

"I have had some promising news, Lady Edith," she forced a smile but she could tell how difficult it was for him and she wished she could take him in her arms and dance with him, forget everyone else but how much she wanted his company.

"I'm glad," she said distractedly.

"Lady Edith," the young man appeared at her shoulder, "aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

Strallan did not like the tone of his voice at all.

"Sir Anthony Strallan, Sir James Kelly," Edith said wearily.

"I hope you will both be very happy, "Strallan struggled to keep his voice steady.

"I would shake your hand but the right one doesn't work in your case and it is much better to have two hands to keep a lady in line,"

He pulled Edith away with him into the throng and she was lost to him.

Kelly's remark had stung like a slap in the face and he not got around to telling Edith his news.

"That was very unkind," Edith snapped at Kelly, "he is a good friend; we remained friends although he just about broke my heart. I'm very fond of him."

He sensed that Lady Painswick had been right as Sir Richard Carlisle's nephew was showing the insecure jealousy in the company of an ex fiancé in the same way that his uncle had between Mary and Matthew; Strallan did not know all the details nor did he wish to. He slipped out of the room and found Carson,

"Carson is it alright if I use the telephone to fetch my man?"

"Leaving already Sir Anthony?" Carson asked.

"I should never have come, Carson; it was a mistake. I wanted to wish her well and I had something to tell her but she got whisked off before I had the chance,"

"I can give her a message for you, Sir Anthony,"

"No, it's alright Carson; it doesn't matter now."

"Pratt can drive you home, Sir Anthony."

"Alright thank you."

He did not know how he managed to hold himself together but he did, until he returned to Locksley.

Once his valet had undressed him and he was in hi nightshirt he dismissed the valet and threw himself down on the bed where sobbed as though his heart would break. He would return on Wednesday and have his operation and if he died from the chloroform then so be it. He felt there was nothing left in his life to matter.

"Where has Sir Anthony gone?" Edith looked around frantically; Kelly was dancing with her mother.

"I'm afraid he has left, Lady Edith." Carson said gently

"I understand for this must have been far from easy for him," Edith's rushed off to splash her face with cold water; it was no good, he had gone without telling her his news."

Kelly turned and looked at her. He let go of Cora and made his way across to her.

"What's the matter? Has the one armed bandit gone? I'm more a man than he would ever be."

"That's what you think!" Edith thought. Inside she was distraught and as usual none of her family cared to see if she was alright; the only man who had ever cared what she felt and thought had walked away into the night.