Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
Fall of the Sake King
By annyenil
"Are you sure you want to do this, Kyoraku Shunsui Taichou, Eighth Division?" Retsu Unohana spoke calmly, albeit a little suspicious of the man before her. She had known Shunsui for ages, and just as much as she would not remove the honorifics, he would not behave in a manner fitting of a Taichou. Or any man of honorable reputation actually.
"Please, Retsu senpai. I really could do with your help."
"But……as a woman and your senior, I do not feel that this is something I ought to do."
"But, but as a fellow Taichou, I am sure you can perfectly understand my intentions and are willing to assist me, isn't it, Retsu senpai?" Shunsui grinned his most attractive grin at Unohana.
"Even though you said that you want a medicine to sedate your fukutaichou so that she could take a break from her hectic work schedule, Kyoraku Taichou, I some how have this rather intuitive sensation that this is only an ostensible motive."
"C'mon, Retsu senpai. Considering that we have been friends for years……"
"I am sorry, Kyoraku Taichou. I do not recall having been friends with you for years. Rather, I have been treating you friend for years. But……very well, I will give you my assistance. Yamada Hanatarou Seventh Seat, please pass a long a bottle of Potion No. 86730203 to Kyoraku Taichou."
"Thank you very much, Retsu senpai."
"Let me warn you, Kyoraku Taichou. Toying with women's emotions is a very, very perilous thing to do, especially if done flamboyantly and carelessly."
Without taking heed, Shunsui happily went back with the drug to poison his lovely, lovely Nanao-chan.
"Yamada Seventh Seat, what did you pass to Kyoraku Taichou?"
"As you had ins…instructed, Taichou. The Potion No. 86760203."
"Very well."
"Tai…Taichou. May…may I inquire, what is the function of this potion?"
"Oh. We will soon find out. Now Yamada Seventh Seat. I must trouble you to help me search in the storeroom for a few bottles of the Skin Healing Cream."
"Hai, Taichou."
Meanwhile, in the Eighth Division Kitchen-
"Psssst."
"Hai, Taichou. May I help you?"
"Could you please slip a little of this into Ise fukutaichou's dinner later?"
"But…Taichou…"
"Now, just do as I say."
"Hai, Taichou……"
Kyoraku Shunsui was in an unusually cheerful mood as he ascended the ladder to his rooftop and laid down, humming a little bucolic tune. Hehe……Nanao-san will faint after the drug. And fall right into the arms of her hero…….hehe…… "Goodness. I am one evildoer." Shunsui couldn't help but grin at his evil, astute and creative mind.
At dinner that day, Shunsui was being unusually boisterous. He hardly touched his sake at all, and in fact had been trying to feed most of his stock to his bemused fukutaichou.
"Thank you very much, Taichou. But I really don't drink."
"Are you very certain, my lovely Nanao-san?" Shunsui said, passing a silent wink to the serving mistress, who nodded her head in respect (and hidden disdain) as she laid down the last dish of dinner and bowed off.
Suddenly, Ise Nanao did something she had never done before. "Taichou……"
"Nanao……?" Nanao's expression had suddenly blanked out like a white canvas. Shunsui had become extremely excited as he waited with bated breath for his turn at playing hero.
"TAICHOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! MUA!"
Ise Nanao had been fed something else contrary to Shunsui's wishes.
"Damn. Retsu senpai and her woman shinigami rights." Shunsui cursed under his breath but had little time to react as Nanao, suddenly overcame with immense strength, single-handedly dragged him into the Division Office and shoved him onto the couch.
"Nanao-san! No! What are you doing?"
"Taichou, you have no idea how much I desire you." Nanao screamed and flung herself at Shunsui, who had suddenly become very afraid. Shunsui was one who preferred girls that ran away from him, but not towards him.
"You are not running away, my sexy Taichou!" Ise Nanao was chasing after her taichou in the manner of the 10th Division fukutaichou. Her hair was now fluttering behind her in wild waves and her eyes had a wanton determination in them. "Come back here, Taichou!"
Shunsui in his shock had little ability to dodge as his fukutaichou pounced on him. "No! No! Nanao-san-"
"TAICHOU! I've got you!" Nanao shriekd in pleasure as she grabbed hold of Shunsui's arm and refused to let go.
"NO!"
It was a long night.
The next morning, Nanao stood at the door of the rummaged Division Office. "What had happened here, Taichou? It's such a mess!"
"It's ok Nanao-san. I will clean it up." Shunsui said, with eyebags shadowing his usual sparkling eyes. A new darkness was shrouding over him.
"Taichou, you are bleeding! Why have you not asked the Fourth Division to heal you? What have you done yesterday?" A concerned Nanao asked.
"It's all right, Nanao. Please do me a favour. Head down to the Fourth Division, and ask them for a bottle of Skin Healing Cream."
"Hai, Taichou."
"And…"
"Yes, Taichou?"
"Never mind. Tell them that your are getting the cream as a favour to……"
"To?"
"Hisagi fukutaichou next door. Because he had no time."
"Hai, Taichou."
When Nanao had left, Shunsui groaned over his deep nail cuts and blue bruises. With a sigh, he whistled.
"Sui-sui!" A familiar pink figure fell through the window.
"Yachiru, I have some candy here..."
"Sui-sui! Are you doing bad things again?"
"Just do me a favour."
"But you must pwomise me to give me candy!"
"All right. Now go next door and……" He whispered into Yachiru's ear.
