Chapter 2
"Living in the Shadows"
He didn't know what had happened. How could he be alive? He remembers every damn thing: jumping into the hole, all the horrible things that he saw in hell but now he's back. And he wasn't sure how much time passed since he died.
He missed his family, his brother. All he wanted was to show up in front of Dean and say something like «Hi, I'm back!» but did he have the right to do it? The right to ruin Dean's best shot of having a normal life for once? He could see him, having dinner with Lisa and Ben. He was indeed trying to keep his promise. That though made Sam smile. It was going to hurt as hell after all that his old brother did for him…
- Bye Dean. Live a happy life bro, you deserve it. – Sam whispered and started to walk away from there. He would find a city far from there and do like Dean, live or at least try to, a normal life.
The First Week
Dean's 1st week was literally a hell on earth. He didn't speak that much except when Lisa asked something important or when Ben insisted with him. At first he didn't wanted to eat, but starving to death was completely against the promise he made Sam so he made an effort to eat. He spent the whole week without leaving the house. At night, he had horrible nightmares. Let's just say that involves Sam, demons, hell and torture. What's even harder to him is the fact that he knows how hell is. He had lived it, hall the torture, all the suffering for four months (forty years hell time). And knowing that his brother was living that and the fact that he couldn't help him…
- Sam! Where are you? Sam? No! – he yelled waking up with Lisa's arms around his chest trying to calm him down.
- Shhh it's ok. Go back to sleep now. – she said.
It hurts to see her love in such a pain. Dean hadn't told her exactly what occurred to Sam, just said « He's lost forever and I can't save him.».
- He needs some time. – she thought. – And I´m going to be here with him, to support him and cheer him up.
- It's all gonna be ok. – she whispered in Dean's ear, who was now sleeping again.
For Sam, things weren't easy either. After leaving Lisa's city (Cicero, Indiana), he went to San Antonio in Texas, far away from Dean so that he couldn't regret his decision. He caught a ride from some trucker and after a couple of days there he was.
He spent his first week without leaving his cheap motel room, and like Dean he had a lot of nightmares about Lucifer and his brief time in hell. He spent hours just looking at the ceiling and thinking about his life. It was his decision not to let Dean know he was alive and he expected that it would hurt but not like this.
- No, get away from me! Dean! – Sam screamed in the middle of the night waking up from his horrible nightmare.
He dreamt about his time in hell and how demons use his brother's appearance to torture him. They disguised themselves of Dean and tortured Sam over and over. He knew it wasn't true, it wasn't his brother but it seemed so real!
- Just a dream… just a dream… - he said to himself and went back to sleep.
3 months later
These three months seemed more like three years for the Winchesters.
After a while and with Lisa's help, Dean began to socialize again. He got a job in a garage, one of the few thinks in which he was good at apart from hunting. And about that, all Dean's hunting supplies, records, and other things that reminded him of his old life were now stored in a small warehouse. The only things that he kept were a photo of Sam along with his car which for five years had been their home.
His work at the garage was his best getaway from everything. He usually spends all day there, working silently and peacefully and returned home by the end of the day. He met other coworkers like Phillip and Jack. Sometimes they went to a bar and they invited him. They were nice people.
Dean started to be part of some family activities with Lisa and Ben, like doing a picnic at the weekends, going to the lake or just attending to Ben's football games. Lisa could already feel her love becoming happier every day. Still she knows that it would take years until Dean overpasses Sam's death.
Once in a while, he had a «break» and all his repressed feelings came out. In these days, he didn't speak and spent a lot of time in his car, remembering all of his and Sam's adventures. At night, nightmares would come again to torture his heart.
In the other side of the country, Sam's life was also improving. After a week in San Antonio he started to search for a job. He didn't find anything in the first days so he was already worried because he couldn't spend more time in that motel while using a fake credit card.
One day he was walking down the street and he found an advert in a café, asking for someone to help there. After convincing Mr. Gray that he was very hardworking and that he really needs the money, he got the job. It wasn't his dream job but it was a start. He worked there every day except Sundays. He helped in the kitchen, with clients… did a bit of everything. By this time, Sam has already moved from the motel to a small apartment, a place that he tried to call home. Mr. Gray started to enjoy this Sam kid and he even invited him to dinner in his house. It was there that he met Gray's daughter, Jane. She was a very young woman, and very attractive by the way, and that didn't go unnoticed to Sam. Neither to her since she also felt attracted to Sam. After their first meeting, she started to help her father in the café and with that she could be closer to Sam.
For him she was very sweet but Sam knows he can't be with her. Every person that he loves or loved either died or is hurt. It seemed that he was cursed somehow. There was Jessica… Madison… and Jane won't be the next.
Sometimes, like Sundays when Sam didn't have any work, he couldn't run from his problems. No work means free time, free time leaves time to think about… well about things that Sam didn't want to think about, like his brother.
