Thanks for all the reviews and favorites. It really makes me happy that you guys like it. I hope you like this chapter.
Chapter two
Rae holds the glass of champagne and sits at the table in the far back, trying not to drink it quickly as she would like to. She didn't really know anyone in the large sized room, and her nerves were getting the best of her. Chop and Izzy had yet to arrive but Izzy was seven months pregnant and they already had twin boys at home who were only three. She laughed and always joked she moved a bit slower these days.
Archie had ditched her when they arrived at the country club, finding a good looking bloke serving behind the bar. "My gaydar is top notch, Rae." He whispered cheekily in her ear. "You'll know where to find me." She had just laughed and let him be. No one in Lincolnshire knew he was gay and not many people in London did either. He liked to keep business and pleasure separate as he always said with a half laughter.
Chloe's mum and dad were throwing their daughter and soon to be son in law an engagement party at the Horncastle Country club and Rae knew it was only a matter of time before Finn showed up. She made it a point not to let Chloe talk to her about Finn too much. All Rae knew was he was going to be there. If he had a plus one was still up in the air. "He didn't even RSVP." Chloe had said annoyingly as they had sat at her house going through the invites.
"Maybe he didn't feel like he needed to send one because he is the grooms brother." Izzy offered optimistically.
"Well I'm not sure if hes coming or not, and what if he brings his girlfriend. I need ta know how many people ta feed." As soon as shes done speaking she looks up at Rae. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean..."
"Its alright. We've been done for so long now..." Rae looked down and didn't see the look her friends gave one another. A look that said they were concerned for their friend.
"Raemundo!" She heard the unmistakeable sound of her friend Chop. Rae looked up from her thoughts and smiled broadly. Walking toward them she laughed at the sight. Izzy was already a small girl to begin with and now with her expanding tummy she had no where to go but out.
Chop was very protective of his pregnant wife. He watched over her like a hawk and from the few times she had seen him around their boys he was a great father as well. It killed Rae that she hadn't been there for their wedding. Izzy had just found out she was pregnant and they decided to have a last minute wedding before she got too far along. Rae had been in Canada at the time promoting her first book and was unable to attend. Sometimes she felt like a shit friend.
When they finally made it over to her table Chop wrapped his arms around her and gave her a long hug and a smacking kiss on the forehead. Rae then gave Izzy and tender hug and rubbed her friends round belly. "'ello baby Cora." She said. They were having a girl at the end of the summer.
"She needs ta get outta there, driving me crazy." Izzy said as she took a seat. "My feet are killin' me, and this heat...I'm gonna die!" Rae sympathized with her friend. All of Europe was currently going through a heat wave and it was unbearable to be outside most days.
"Don't rush her! We need her ta have all her toes and feet properly developed first." Chop said as him and Rae took a seat and a passing waiter handed Chop and Rae a glass of champagne and Izzy asked for a bottle of water.
"Yea well at least when I had the boys it was a bit cooler out. I'm uncomfortable, and hot all the bloody time. And every five minutes I have ta run to the loo." Rae reached out and gave her a slight hug. She had never really expressed this to people but she did want to know what it was like to be pregnant and be someones mum. But she was so fucked up she couldn't imagine bringing an innocent baby into the world to take care of and love when she couldn't even take care of herself.
They spent the next several minutes talking about the boys and how Chops career was taking off. He had opened two new car garages and was now a proper business man. Rae was so proud of her friend who hadn't even gone on to sixth form.
"Oh look, its Finn!" Izzy said excitedly. She waved her hand in the air to get his attention and Rae didn't even want to look over at him. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel her hands sweating. Suddenly she felt like she was sixteen again and felt those butterflies that were all too familiar. Rae wanted to talk to him and even if she couldn't be his girlfriend she at least wanted to be friends. Yet they haven't spoken in so long it was now awkward.
Taking a deep breath she finally looked up just as he was making his way to their table. Jesus fucking Christ, Rae thought, he looks even more fucking amazing then she remembered. If it was even possible. He was wearing black slacks, a button down white shirt with a black tie and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. His sunglasses were rested on his head and he looked super fit and cool, like he just walked out of a magazine.
"Hey." He said with a smile to Chop and Izzy. He reached down and shook Chops hand and then crouched down and gave Izzy a hug and placed his hand on her belly. "Hows she doing?" He asked up at her. Is he trying to make my heart explode, Rae thinks as she takes another drink from her wine glass.
"Hanging in there. I swear I think the boys might have been easier then her. I think she might be trouble." Izzy giggles.
"Nah, I think Izzy here is having a mental lapse, cuz I remember her when she was pregnant with the boys and it was not a cake walk." Chop says jokingly. "Well ya remember Finn, thought we were gonna have to grease the door frames to get her inside the house." Chop laughs at his joke and Izzy glared at him until her husband blew her a kiss.
Finn smiles at Izzy and Chop and stands back up and finally his eyes go to her. Rae tries to remember to breathe and to act normal. And to remember Finn was no longer your boyfriend, she had to keep that one in mind. You are no longer shagging him, kissing him or even so much as talking to him on the regular. Your not even his friend anymore. Don't get attached.
"Hey Rae. Long time. How ya been?" He asks casually.
"Chop, dear, can you help me up I need to go to the loo. And that waiter never brought me my water and I'm dying of thirst over here." Izzy says to her husband. Rae thinks its sweet that her friends feel that her and Finn should have some alone time but really that was far from what she wanted. She shouldn't be left alone with him because she had this horrible habit of saying things before thinking. And what if she said something along the line of 'I miss ya, and I think about you daily and I dream about being with you again, and you've fucked up all the other men that have come into my life. Because no one compares to you in my mind because I've tried getting over you and I just can't.' Something like that.
She waited until her friends were gone to finally answer his question. He took the seat Chop just vacated and looked at her. "I've been good. Just trying to get my next book publish before my editor ties me down to my chair."
He half smiled at her and looked down at his hands, clearing his throat. This isn't awkward she thinks. And she doesn't even have any more wine to drink. How sad. "How are you? Hows the station going?" Finn worked as a popular DJ at the local radio station He was a bit of a home town celebrity in Lincolnshire.
They had started working there together during the summer before Uni. He worked picking out the songs and she as a copy writer. She then went off to Hull University and Finn went off to Uni at Manchester. If she knew where her insecurities came from, it was around that summer.
"S'alright." He said with a shrug. Another awkward silence fell between them, and finally he looked up at her. "Look Rae, we need to talk."
"Yeah."
"Its real shit what happened, but whatever it is what it is. You know I'm no good with saying things, so I'll try not to muck this up. I miss ya, I miss my friend. I don't like not talking ta ya. Your sound and I want—I want to be able to have my friend back, if thats not too much ta ask of ya." He looked at his hands and back up at her.
"I miss you too." Rae finally answered. She didn't know if she should be happy or not. On one hand she was so happy that he wanted her back into his life and that he missed her, but on the other it was only as his friend. She would take whatever he gave her.
"Oh really now?" He says with a bit of a smile on his face. Rae giggled at him. She wanted to say so much more. Like how she wanted to be his girl again. How much she loved him. She missed his kisses, and the sweet voicemails he would leave her after what he knew was a rough day. He had to still love her the way she loved him.
"Yes really. Finn, about last time we saw each other..." He cut her off before she could finish.
"I wanted ta say sorry about that Rae. I've felt horrible about that for such a long time. That was really a dick thing for me to do that ta ya."
"Well you didn't do anything. I was drinking, and..I don't know what I thought was going to be the outcome of that." Rae looked down at her lap, knowing full well she had been hoping for a reconciliation.
"Right. Well either way Im sorry." He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "I need ta know Rae, why? Why did ya break up with me?"
She knew they were going to have to have this conversation some time. She took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes. Rae wanted him to see how much pain it had caused her. "I was a proper idiot. I was in a bad place, Finn..."
"I would've been there for ya, Rae. I wanted to be there for ya. It nearly killed me when you decided you didn't love me enough to let me be there for you and help ya." His eyes, those eyes she loved looking into, looked so sad.
"Oh Finn, its not like that at all..." Rae squeezed his hand and found she was the one having a hard time finding the right words to express what she was feeling right now.
"At least ya had Archie..." His voice trailed off and he took his hand away from her and sat back in his chair.
"I don't..I mean.. do ya think me and Archie?" She was confused. Did Finn think her and Archie were a thing?
Before he could answer Chloe and Patrick made there way to their table. "Rachel Earl you give me a hug you stranger!" Patrick boomed. He wasn't quite like his younger brother, much the opposite in fact. Him and Chloe were perfect for one another.
Rae stood with a forced smile and gave Patrick a big hug. She wished they would go away and leave her and Finn alone. They were finally getting somewhere and of course someone would have to walk over and interrupt them. "Look at ya! Your defiantly my favorite out of Finns long list of girlfriends." Patrick said with a laugh.
Am I suppose to laugh at that? Rae thinks bitterly. Rachel Earl, get over him. Its been four years and hes clearly not had any trouble moving on. Chloe gave her soon to be husband a good whack in on the shoulder. "Rae you look smashing!" Chloe says.
Rae looks at her friend and smiles. Of course no one could come close to looking as great as Chloe did. Since it was so hot she was wearing a pale pink baby doll dress with a sweet heart neck line and the hem reached about mid thigh. She looked tan and thin and amazing. Her blonde hair (she had decided she liked having it blonde and had slowly gone blonder over the years) was pulled up in a very cute messy bun.
"Thanks Chloe. You look like the very blushing bride." Rae had only been able to talk to Chloe briefly earlier today since she was the bride she was busy talking with everyone.
Patrick sat next to his brother and waved down a passing waiter and took the whole tray of champagne glasses. "I think we can all use a drink." he said with a wink to his brother. Finn huffed and took a wine glass and swallowed all of his drink at once.
Rae turned to look at Chloe and her friend shrugged her shoulders and gave her the look. It was the look Rae knew all too well. It was the 'Im sorry, but what can you do' look. It was the look Rae was given every time they had gone out and all the boys seemed to flock to Chloe and Rae was left as chop liver.
"Hows things going with Abby?" Rae heard Patrick ask Finn as she and Chloe took a seat at the table.
Oh please let that be the name of his dog. Or someone he works with thats married and like 80. Finn cleared his throat before answering. "She's alright. At her mums. Her grandfather is doing so well. The heats really getting ta him, and since he refuses to by an air conditioner." He tugged at his ear, and Rae knew he was uncomfortable. He always messed with his ear when he was uncomfortable.
Under the table Chloe took hold of Rae's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Wheres Archie? I haven't seen him at all. Been a crazy day." Chloe asks her.
"Um, I'm not sure. I think Chop got a hold of him somewhere." Rae didn't want to talk about Archie. She didn't want to talk to anyone really. Only Finn. She decided she was going to get him alone some time tonight and tell him everything.
"Ah! Archie." Patrick booms with a laugh. "Now tell me again, because I've seem to loose track of all your mates, Finn. Which one is he?"
"He doesn't live in Lincolnshire. He lives in London with Rae. You might have meet him before he moved a few times. But you were at Uni.." Chloe explains to her somewhat inebriated fiance.
"With you, you little vixen." Patrick laughs. "Oi! The kid with the horned rimmed glasses! Yes I know him." He smiles and seems to be happy that he has remembered who Archie was. Rae wishes she could just get up and leave. Or that they could leave. She wished anything could happen other then them sitting here talking about Archie. "So are you two a thing?"
"Yea. Looks that way." Finn says as he takes another glass of wine and gets up and leave the table.
Hope you guys liked this! I kinda rushed the ending a bit, but I'm building up for the next chapter, which I think you guys will like. I love it. So PLEASE review and let me know what you think. :)
