Courage is not the absence of Fear
Ch. 2 A Sudden Flutter
The following Sunday, the grey clouds over the school finally broke, allowing the students the first day of relished sunshine in the year. Marlene's shriek awoke her that morning.
'Lily! Mary!...Look, SUN!' Marlene, normally a calm, collected girl was positively giddy at the weather. While Mary threw her pillow at Marlene and ducked back under the covers, Lily forced a smile and pulled Marlene down for breakfast.
She didn't eat well. Today was the day of Mrs Potters' funeral.
And, Lily was nervous.
Having spent roughly the past six years, screaming her throat hoarse at James, their friendship was still rather casual, since he was made head boy. They exchanged pleasantries and shared a few innocent private jokes, but Lily never got rid of the feeling that they were tip toeing around each other, eager to please each other.
She really did want to be a good friend to James, however much Marlene laughed when she told her. These were difficult times for the wizarding world. A true friend was hard to come by, and after seeing Sirius and James, a small part of Lily craved for the same bond.
So, that night, she sat in the common room, under the pretext of finishing her potions essay, late into the night.
'Lily?' called Marlene, not for the first time that day, 'Are you alright? You've had your head in the clouds all day!'
Lily shook her head, 'I'm fine, just preoccupied' Marlene rolled her eyes, as if to say, 'obviously'. She sat next to her, slamming down the Evening Prophet.
'Read this,' she said pushing the paper toward her, 'Latest news confirms that Giants and Werewolves have joined ranks with 'He-who-must-not-be-named'. It is suspected that the followers have been bolstered by their allies, since no less that seven 'Dark Marks' were shot up around the country today.
Aurors and Obiviators have been working around the clock but have only recovered one person alive from all seven sites. Bartemius Crouch has restricted access to journalists to the Auror office and all ministry officials have been forbidden from giving statements due to safety reasons.
An anonymous Healer has confirmed that 'Survivor X' is alive although in a critcal condition...' Marlene looked up with wide eyes, 'Do you think this 'survivor' of bitten?'
'Maybe,' Lily whispered, 'but, Lycanthropy isn't the end of the world, Marlene. Herbologists have nearly prefected this wolfsbane potion.'
'Either way, this isn't good, Lily. Giants, Werewolves, Death Eaters; the more followers You-know-who has, the worse it is for us.' The two girls fell silent.
'I'm going to bed. Are you coming?' Lily declined pointing to her potions books.
Waving her goodnight, she left for the dorms. Leaving Lily, sitting alone, surrounded by her untouched books, to watch the fire burn down.
She must have dozed off, as the next thing she remembers is the sound of the portrait hole swinging open. The sky was dark outside, and the only light, came from the fire. The four boys stepped in quietly, each wearing a sombre expression.
In the firelight, James looked pale and the bags under his eyes were even more prominent. Sirius caught sight of her first.
'Um...Hi,' Lily said quietly, not missing the quick furtive glances Sirius sent James. 'I just had some potions to finish' she said, waving a hand over her books, which she realised were still closed.
'Did you finish it?' James asked, his voice low and hoarse.
She shook her head, still trying to assess how he was.
'No, I fell asleep.' His eyes were bloodshot and he seemed to be shaking. She sighed, collecting her books, 'Hope you are alright, James.'
He nodded, absent minded, as he made his way over to the boys staircase.
'I will be.'
Sirius lagged behind, as they ascended the staircase, and cast a grateful nod from the doorway.
Since then, Lily found herself spending more and more time with the marauders. She made a conscious effort to give James an encouraging smile when she passed him, to laugh at his jokes and, sometimes to just sit him after prefect meetings, talking about all sort of things, should he feel the need to vent.
Before she knew it, the weeks had begun to fly past and they were thrown into April. The wizarding world was still at war and not a week went past without news of horrific murders splashed across the front page of the Prophet.
In between the moments, she was gripped by an almost paralysing fear for her family, she was happy. She was happy when a week after his mothers' funeral, James smiled as she wished him good morning, when he laughed at Peter and Sirius 'fighting', when he finally cracked a joke (albeit a bad joke), but cheering him up suddenly became second nature to her.
It was no longer conscious thought that she noticed when he smiled, when he laughed, when he needed to talk. It just happened.
She found herself watching the four men, seated across the common room from her. She had to admit, the past month had completely caught her off guard. Sirius had not once forced James presence upon her, yet Lily found herself willingly spending time with him. Lily realised, in the marauders, Lily had found loyal friends. They accepted her, much to the irritation of their many groupies, into their group.
Sirius, with his constant exuberance, Peter, with his easy innocence, Remus, with his intelligent humour and James, Merlin knows by no means least, she had found someone, so willing to let her talk, to make her smile, to look out for her. It scared her, how much he cared. She thought of lying in the dappled green woods with Snape and Lily shook her head vaguely, dispelling the thoughts.
With James, it was not the same thing. Falling back to reality, she caught sight of James watching her with a confused expression. In fact, all four of them were. Lily realised that she must have been staring intently at them while she day dreamed.
Lily let out a nervous snort of laughter, and waved, returning quickly to her work, bowing her head, to hide the sudden blush that rose to her cheeks. Something fluttered in her stomach, which scared her even more.
aloha!
Tried to slow things down a bit, and pay more attention to descriptions and feelings in this chapter. I hope it worked.
With Regards to Lily and Sev, in DH, JK said that Snape was an impressive figure (or words to that effect) so I figured that as a young girl, Lily must have felt something for him, though I do not think she would have ever gone out with Snape. icky
It has been edited and checked for grammar!
So please Read and Review. n Sorry for this uber long A/N!
