Thank you for the reviews! I'm very happy you like this. To answer your questions...when will Mark know? Well, I want a little build-up, before he's going to find out, but it will be soon. And where's Evan right now? Well, he's at home in LA, some of Addie's friends is looking after him. Addie as a great neonatal specialist often travels around the whole country to help with cases in other hospitals (even this is one of them), so her friends are kinda used to babysitting Evan. Addie often feels sorry for traveling away from him, but she's never away for long and when she's home she always tries to spend as much time with him as possible.
And when you noted, that English has speech marks (") up the line on both sidesof the dialogue...yes, I know it, but my MS Word automatically puts the first ones down, because in our languague we write them like that. I fixed them to be up the line on both sides of the dialogue in this chapter and I will try to write them the English way also in the next ones, so it isn't distracting.
Title of this chapter: Ingrid Michaelson - Without You
Or some other performer, lots of people have songs named 'Without You'. :D But this one was featured on GA season 9 finale, that's why it came to my mind first.
Callie looked at me and I could tell she was shocked.
"Addie... Sorry, but do I understand it correctly? ... You have Mark's son back in LA?"
Maybe I was shocked too. With hearing a description of my situation being said out aloud. No one ever put it up like that. At least in front of me they didn't. Only a few people really knew – my collegues in LA. Only now after Callie said it, I did realize what a horibble person I am. When I was here in Seattle, it was like Evan didn't even exist. I hated that thought and right at that time I also kind of hated myself. For not letting Mark, who was being this caring and protective of Sophia, know he had a son. For not letting Evan meet his father. For cutting off all my previous life here in Seattle and for that matter also in New York. Because my life in Los Angeles was less complicated and I needed that.
"Yes, I do. He's my everything... I know I should have done it differently. Realized and said a lot of things... But..." I breathed out.
I was looking down, but I felt Callie's gaze on me. I honestly had no idea, what to do. I was getting used to it, really I have never been sure about anything that involved Evan, but life with him was the biggest blessing of my life anyway. I looked up and I was somehow puzzled, when I saw Callie grinning.
She was trying to keep her feelings at bay, but a few seconds later she gave in and just started laughing. It really took me by surprise, but few seconds later Callie managed to say:
"Sorry, I...I just didn't know how to react. I mean... It's Mark, but still... How come he knocked us both up?"
At that point I started laughing with her. It was some sort of cruel joke. But after a while we both slowly quietened realizing it wasn't funny at all.
"You know you have to tell him," Callie pierced me with her gaze and I didn't really answer anything. I briefly nodded thinking about how true she was and how I wanted to tell him, but at the same time how he'd hurt me when he'd chosen Lexie, how I'd let him go so he could be with her. Still, I didn't want Evan to grow up without a father and I've never met anyone, whom I would've loved as much or whom I would want to raise Evan with me more than Mark. I just couldn't be a burden in his life after he'd himself vocalized, that he wanted Lexie. That sentence: "I'm so sorry Red," still haunted me sometimes.
But after some time as I'd been looking at samples of my drained blood and I'd become sure with the fact I had though I would have never gotten to experience again, being pregnant, I'd been absolutely sure about one more thing – I couldn't have aborted my...his baby again. Especially after I'd taken it as a fact that I would never be pregnant again. And yet I'd been and again with Mark – that was another cruel joke.
At that point being there with Callie I also imagined how happy Mark would be if he knew. I doubted lots of things, but I knew he would be really happy and I could only imagine how anry he would be with the fact that I hadn't told him. I just couldn't deal with it now. I just couldn't and though I felt like a loser, less than a hour later I booked a plane ticket and headed back to LA with thousands of mixed feelings.
I'm sorry that this chapter is short and nothing's really happenning in it, it's gonna get better. I just wanted to show some of Addie's thoughts and feelings and make this seem at least a little real. Well, you can't just come and tell a guy: "Hey, you know what, I have almost 1 year old son with you." Plus, Mark and Addison have a history together and that's the other thing I wanted to show...tell me what do you think about it, constructive critism is welcomed and also...I have storyline for this outlined and some things planned, but I want to know your thoughts. What do you imagine to happen next?
