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CHAPTER ONE: IF I LEFT YOU BEHIND
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"Katie?" She turned to see mild Cassie standing before her, looking as gentle as ever.
"Yeah?" Katie dropped her bag by the wall. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to know how things are at your house...you know.." Cassie shuffled her feet.
"You wanna know how things are? Things SUCK!" Katie snapped, looking more Gothic in her fury than ever. "My mom is on drugs, my dad is getting remarried, and my cell phone is busted and I'm grounded! It sucks."
"I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?" Cassie asked, looking truly sorry.
"No, it's okay," Katie sighed, realizing she'd blown up. "It's just things are really crappy right now."
Cassie's make-upless face looked sad. "I wish I could help you, Katie."
"Thanks for caring, anyway. That's more than I can say for the others." Katie gestured toward the cluster of girls who didn't seem to notice that Katie and Cassie were talking by themselves.
"We all care, Katie, don't you know that? We all care about you."
"Yeah, sure," Katie replied sarcastically. "They don't. They don't accept me because I'm Wiccan. You do, though, you're the understanding one."
Katie watched Cassie's face. "I try, Katie, I really do..."
She sighed. "It's just I'm scared for you - we're all scared for you."
Katie laughed bitterly. "You don't have to be."
"I don't want you to go to hell." Cassie's big eyes were filled with sorrow.
"I've made too many mistakes, Cass. I come from the wrong side of the city. I was lost a long time ago." Katie looked at the passing buses.
"I just ... Don't take it on yourself to look out for me. I was damned from the moment my real mom left me at the orphanage."
Cassie looked heartbroken. "I'm not giving up on you, ever...I want you to know that. I believe in you, even if nobody else does."
"You got that one thing right." Katie looked up. "There's your bus."
Cassie put a hand on her shoulder. "Take care of yourself."
---
"So what was Cassie talking to you about again?"
Katie shrugged. "Something about her not wanting me to go to hell."
"She's sort of intolerant that way." Sammi smiled. "But you have to admire her compassion. But I don't care that you're Wiccan - I mean, I don't go to church anymore either."
"I never bought that Jesus crap," Katie muttered. "She's nuts."
"But in a good way, hm?" Sammi watched the bus leave. "I wish I could be that devoted to something. She has a passion."
"She's devout, I can't deny that." Katie grinned at Sammi. "Yeah, you go from boyfriend to boyfriend faster than they can ask you out."
"Do not." Sammi smacked Katie in the shoulder. "Yeah, anyway. I'm starving, I can't wait to get home."
"I can." Katie closed her eyes and listened to the sound of faint thunder. "Sounds like a big storm's coming up."
"That's funny. The weather report didn't say anything about it."
"Ooh, mysterious," Katie joked. Sammi didn't smile. "Something's not right..."
---
"Katie?"
"Yeah, I'm home," Katie snapped, tossing her bag in the doorway. "So what's for dinner?"
"I don't know, you're making it," came the reply from the couch.
"'K." Katie pulled out a package of Mac 'n Cheese. "Hope you aren't expecting anything fancy."
"Just make something; I'm hungry."
"Why don't you eat some drugs?" Katie said under her breath.
"Hey - Katie, c'mere."
"What'd I do?" Katie shuffled into the room, holding a cheese packet.
"Look at this."
The news was on. BUS ACCIDENT flashed across the screen. Katie, wide-eyed, sat down on the arm of the couch beside her mom. "What the heck, what happened?"
"It's - oh crap, it's Cassie's bus," Katie gasped. She gripped the seat tighter.
"What?"
"It's Cassie!" Katie cried as the TV showed a picture of her friend's face: SEVERELY INJURED.
"20 of the 24 kids on this bus died. As you can see," the news guy gestured to the video of the totaled bus and semi, "both vehicles were horribly destroyed. Apparently, the man driving the eighteen-wheeler was drunk, and the bus driver was on heroine. This is Bob Random, on Random News."
Katie couldn't speak. "Mom, we have to get to the hospital."
"Get your friends to pick you up. I have a date tonight."
Fighting the impulse to spit a nasty reply, Katie called Sammi and asked for a ride.
---
SAMMI
"I just can't believe this," Katie was saying over and over again.
Sammi privately was worried herself, but right now it was all too much to think about.
"I wonder how bad it was," Katie said finally. "The report didn't say."
"Well, they only said it was Severely Injured. Maybe she's not that bad."
"Here it is: Room 201," her mom said, holding open the door.
"Cassie!" Sammi cried. She raced to her bedside.
Cassie looked miserable. She had wires coming from her and bandages all over. A nasty wound was in her side, and her head was horribly wrecked.
"Hi, guys," Cassie greeted as well as she could manage.
"Oh, Cass," Katie gasped. "I didn't think you were this bad."
"I'm better than Davy and Brian and - oh, they're all gone," Cassie moaned tearfully. "They're all dead, Katie."
"It's okay, Cassie, just hang on, don't die," Sammi whispered, watching the heart waves on the monitor. "Please don't die..."
"I won't," Cassie replied weakly, with a smile.
---
KATIE
"Will she live?" Katie asked the doctor outside the room.
The doctor looked worried. "She looks like she might pull through. And while she seems to be okay, we're mostly concerned about her heart. There was some major damage to her internal organs, and we're afraid she might not last the night."
"How long does she have?" Katie's mouth felt dry. This was unbelievable. Just a few hours ago, they'd been at school...
The doctor looked sorry. "I'd guess 10 hours. There was some major arteries busted and while we're doing all we can to keep her alive, she doesn't look good..."
SAMMI
Katie shut the door on her way in. Cassie was sound asleep. Sammi got up from the chair. "Well?"
"Not good," Katie replied quietly. She sat next to Cassie. "She might not last the night."
"What about that surgery? Surely it could do something," Sammi suggested desperately.
"I'm afraid there's not much they can do." Katie stepped toward the window. "How could I have been so stupid?"
Sammi closed her eyes. Not another tirade...
"I should have known," the older girl muttered. "It's like with Drake, Rhea and Tom, isn't it? Everyone who gets close to me suffers."
"That's not true," Sammi snapped. "I don't even think those guys exist. I never knew you to be in a gang. Come on, were you in a gang at age six? I've known you since fourth grade...don't lie to me. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Cassie was the only one of us who bothered to feel sorry for you, and now look at her! Look at yourself! Why don't you start feeling sorry for someone else - like Cassie, for a change?"
Sammi drew breath, then looked like she was about to cry. "Cassie," she whimpered. "I'm so sorry..."
Cassie groaned and tried to turn over, but she was so heavily encased in life support it was impossible.
Sammi covered her eyes and let tears flow. "God, why did You let this happen?!" She ran out of the room.
---
KATIE
Cassie slowly stirred. "What time...is it...?" She spoke slowly, as if it pained her.
"It's about 7 pm," Katie answered, checking her watch. "How you feeling?"
"Cold," came the answer. "And like a mummy."
"Don't overexert yourself," Katie told her, the doctor's words lingering in her mind. And even more heavily, Sammi's. "Well, I've been watching the news, and they said that the three other survivors were Kenny, Eric, and Teresa Random. You remember Teresa?"
"Sort of." Cassie closed her eyes. "I hate remembering it. It was so scary..."
Katie felt a pang of guilt. "I'm sorry, that was stupid of me."
"No, it's okay. I need to remember. If you forget the things that hurt you..." Cassie drew a shaky, rattled breath. "You can't learn the lesson God wants you to learn. That's what I learned years ago in Sunday School anyway..."
"Forget that crap." Katie faced the window. "It's not going to do you much good now, anyway. Unless God works a miracle, you - oh, " She swore.
Cassie smiled sadly. "I'm going to die, aren't I?"
"No, Cassie, you're not going to die," Katie choked. "You're going back to school in a few weeks, when you get better. You're just sick, that's all - just like in seventh grade - remember?"
Cassie had once developed a serious case of pneumonia that had put her out of school for a month. Katie and Sammi had visited her in the hospital then, too. The doctors had doubted that she would make it, but shed pulled through with miraculous recovery. They'd only grown closer since then.
"...Remember?"
The only sound in the room was the soft beep, beep of the life support.
Cassie's words were almost inaudible.
"No, Katie..."
She looked up, that gentle smile on her face.
"I don't think this is like that."
Katie felt tears come. "No, Cassie, I don't want you to die!" She laid her head on the covers and cried.
Cassie said nothing, letting her cry into the blankets.
Katie sniffed. "Well, look what your God brought you to. A bus wreck. Some loving Father, huh?"
"Katie..."
"You can't still seriously believe in Him now, can you?" Katie asked incredulously. "Look what happened to you. Look what happened to everyone on that bus! You think God was looking after you while He made that driver hit you? You think that even if there is a God, that He loved you while He made that accident happen...and so many of His 'children' die?!"
"I think... He was. I was praying for Him to help you...and I think that somehow this may play a part in making you see..." Cassie laughed softly. "You see...I'm not really going away... because if you listen to me and Sammi...then I'll see you in Heaven...won't I?"
"How is this going to help me?! You were the only one who cared about me!" Katie screamed, and she didn't care who heard. "You - and now - AARRRGH, how the heck is this going to help me?!"
"Because..." Cassie groaned. "Maybe somehow my death will make you see... Maybe Sammi will show you the truth now that you're so alone..."
While Katie dried her tears, Cassie continued slowly.
"Or maybe...God picked this as the time for me to bring you to Him..."
Katie didn't respond. She couldn't.
"Katie...even if you don't do it right now...just remember this prayer...
"Jesus, I confess that I'm a sinner. My life is meaningless without You. I need Your forgiveness. I ask you now to come into my life, my heart...and I make You my Lord and Savior. In Jesus's name, Amen."
Katie just cried. A warm hand was on her shoulder. It burned with power. Light burned red through her eyelids from the shoulder. "Cassie, just rest," she sobbed. But the hand was firm, healthy. Strong.
Katie.
"Cassie?" Katie looked around. The hand was gone. The room was empty except for her and Cassie, who lay dying.
"Katie..." she sounded weaker than ever. "Promise me you won't forget."
"Don't leave me, Cassie!"
"As my last wish, please..."
"Katie? Is she okay?" Sammi raced to the bedside.
"I'm alright..." Cassie answered for her weakly, but the monitor plunged.
Cassie looked up at Sammi. "Sammi, I want to pray for you, too."
"Oh, don't, save your strength," Sammi protested, looking guilty.
"Dear God," prayed Cassie anyway. "Thank you for Sammi. I pray that You would help her come back to You and realize she needs You...and I pray for Katie too. Thanks for giving me such wonderful friends and I thank You for letting them be in my life. Thank you for blessing me with the life that I have and I pray that you would bless my friends too.
"Thank you for everything," she finished.
Neither girl said anything. Sammi covered her face with a tissue and cried. Thunder raged and lightning flashed, but no rain fell. Unearthly light filled the dark room through the window.
Katie grabbed the bedrail. It was cold on her hands. "Don't go." The voice spoke again; in everyone's minds: Come, children.
"Goodbye," Cassie said softly, and as Katie was about to scream NO, suddenly vanished, leaving only her clothes behind.
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yall must be sick and tired of dramatic death and all that crap but action comes after rapture. it gets better. possibly. bear with me
review please. be specific on what's crap...because i can't do much if you just say "the whole thing sucks" sigh
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