I really don`t own either series, which really sucks. Mario is my all-time favorite, I know his story on the tip of my fingers, ask me a question and I`ll most likely answer it. Is Birdo a boy or a girl? Okay, you got me there. Nobody knows, not even Shigeru I bet. Anyway, I`m also new at Ace Attorney but I liked Apollo Justice. I like the way the stories are complicated enough to keep you hooked until 11 PM. That is, until you know truly did the murder. I could never know it was (censored spoiler) who killed (insert a victim`s name here), even though I proved it!
Chapter 2: Birdo! I find you guilty!
Birdo stepped on the witness stand. Everything on this witness smelled "guilty". Or maybe it was just her perfume. Her? Maybe his. This is one big point out of this case. Birdo replaced her (or his) ribbon over his/her head and looked at Toadsworth, then looked at Kamek, and then at Toddtoad, and finally at Luigi.
"Okay, I got no time to lose, so we should begin right away," she said.
"Why are you in such a hurry?" Toddtoad asked. "Here in court, time doesn`t matter. Actually it does, but not in the court itself. We only talk about the time and date of a murder or reprehensible act."
"OBJECTION!" Kamek screamed. "This is not time for poesy, you know." Then, facing Birdo: "Can you tell us what you saw that night?"
"Well, as I arrived at Sunny Mushroom Beach, I saw the dead corpse of Yoshi, with a long javelin through his heart. I also saw Mario, Princess Peach, Bowser, Wario, Daisy and that strange alien."
We head from the background: "My name is Tatanga!"
Toadsworth smashed the hammer two times, ordering the room to get back to calm. "This will be a long day…" he thought to himself.
Kamek opened his mouth. "So you say you knew nothing of the crime."
"I don`t! I had a few problems with Yoshi that day, but I arrived..."
"OBJECTION!" Toddtoad screamed. "This is too vague. From what the witnesses and suspects said back there, the entire day has lead to a succession of events that finally ended at Yoshi`s death. We have to sort all this out, and that is why we will ask Birdo to recall the entire day, from 7 AM to 7 PM. I really need the entire telling please."
"I do not think it is useful," Kamek said. "If the witness has only spent a part of the day with Yoshi, then we only need to hear these portions of the day."
"You`re wrong, Kamek. I may not have been clear enough a few seconds ago, but these ten people have actually all a role to play in this, according to their comments while they were being sent to jail. The number of side stories in this case is big, not to say humongous, and everyone is guilty of at least a crime, might it be small as stealing a shirt or big as killing a dinosaur. We will need the entire testimony out of Birdo. If you please, Birdo, I would like to hear about the first hours starting from 7 AM."
"Well then," Birdo said. "At 7, I was at the tennis court. I had learned from Princess Peach, some days ago, that Princess Daisy was coming for an "official visit" of some sort. Also, she was coming for the fair, which opened yesterday. I played for a short while with her, and after we changed our tennis clothing for normal clothing, I headed off to the beach, hoping to get a nice tan."
"When I arrived, at 9, I saw Yoshi nowhere, so I put my things down, until I saw no sun cream in my backpack. So I headed off to the Shop owned by Toadswore. There I bought the sun cream I needed, and then I came back to the beach. I had kept my things there, and at my return I was surprised to see Yoshi sleeping on my towel. So I woke him up and he said someone had stolen his eggs, and he is desperate at finding them."
"He told me they were around Peach`s Castle, and he never found them, so I decided to find them for him. It was 12 AM when I stepped for a second time into the shop, asking about an item to find anything that had to be found. Toadswore handed me some kind of metal detector with an Item Selection Screen. I rushed to Peach`s Castle right away. At 2 o`clock, I was searching for about an hour but I found nothing."
"Then, Yoshi arrived at Peach`s Castle, but I hid the machine from him. I sort of wanted to keep it as a gift, a secret, a good deed. I finally found Yoshi`s eggs, but they were in height. I really wanted to help him, so I went again to the shop, and I rented rocket shoes. I went back to Peach`s Castle – it was 5 PM. But Wario attacked me without any reason! I won the battle and rushed to the Beach. However, when I arrived there, I saw a small group of people looking to the corpse."
"This is one complicated story," Toadsworth said. "Prosecutor Kamek, do you have anything to add?"
"No, I even think this testimony is too long."
"If it helps us finding flaws in this entire thing, Birdo will have to tell the truth. Birdo, say again the first part of your testimony."
"At 7, I was at the tennis court. I had learned from Princess Peach, some days ago, that Princess Daisy was coming for an "official visit" of some sort."
"HOLD ON!" Toddtoad yelled. "An official visit"? Which kind of official visit exactly?"
"Well, Daisy didn`t tell me much about it, but I heard it was some kind of routine visit, talking about the recent villain attacks and preparing to face the following ones. After all, between Princesses, they have to help each other. A girl knows what girls will talk about!" Birdo said, winking.
"Fine, continue with your testimony."
"Also, she was coming for the fair, which opened yesterday. I played a short while with her, and after we changed out clothes."
"HOLD ON! You… changed your clothes? You`re not wearing any, Birdo."
"Oh, Toddtoad. Always fixating on useless details," Kamek said. "I do not think this is useful for the case."
"Actually it is, in a way, it proves that indeed Birdo lies very often or she just doesn`t thinks before talking. Birdo, you have to think thoroughly what you are going to say, because if you lie, we will know it. But on the first part of this, you said the fair opened yesterday. That is, the day the murder occured. Strange coincidence, isn`t it?"
"Ask the manager!" Birdo said. "It`s Toadswore, the shopkeeper."
"We will do that later. For now it`s your testimony that counts. Continue."
"After she changed her tennis clothing for normal clothing, I headed off to the beach, hoping to get a nice tan."
"And you went there without passing anywhere else, am I right?"
"Yes. I went straight to the beach. I wanted to arrive before anyone else because I wanted to have a nice tan."
"OBJECTION!" Toddtoad yelled. "Here are two big lies you just said."
Birdo just looked at him with an expression of hatred.
"First of all, you cannot tan, you are a dinosaur. And for the second time, if Daisy really told you about the fair, someone like you would rather prefer going there instead."
Birdo stood in shock behind the witness` stand, her red ribbon falling off. She replaced it, and answered the objection.
"Well, first of all, as you can see my tan, as you can say, is not brown like humans` tan. Yo have seen me red before, isn`t it? Well, this is my tan, I go red while under the sun. I like red."
"Do we have any proof of it?" Toddtoad asked.
"We don`t," Prosecutor Kamek said. "And today is a rainy day, so we can`t really go ask her to go to the beach and come back in a few hours. But Mario indeed saw Birdo red in a few occasions."
Toddtoad sighed. "Okay then, the witness can move on to the second part of her testimony."
"When I arrived, at 9, I saw Yoshi nowhere, so I put my things down, until I saw no sun cream in my backpack. So I headed off to the Shop owned by Toadswore. There I bought the sun cream I needed, and then I came back to the beach. I had kept my things there, and at my return I was surprised to see Yoshi sleeping on my towel. So I woke him up and he said someone had stolen his eggs, and he is desperate at finding them."
"Okay, say again the first part of this, please."
"When I arrived, at 9, I saw Yoshi nowhere, so I put my things down, until I saw no sun cream in my backpack."
"HOLD ON!" Toddtoad yelled. "You knew you were leaving for the beach and you forgot sun cream? That is brilliant. Why so?"
"Well, that morning I knew I was to see Princess Daisy again, so I forgot to pass by the shop that morning to buy sun cream. So I headed off to the shop owned by Toadswore. There I bought the sun cream I needed and then I came back to the beach."
"Wait a second… did the shopkeeper told you anything while you were there?"
"Just the prize of the sun cream... twenty-seven coins…" Birdo said, with her arms crossed.
"GOTCHA!" Toddtoad screamed. "I know you lied here!" Birdo just looked at him.
"And why would you be so sure about that?"
"When you lie, you scratch you left elbow. I have a special artifact around my neck which detects lies, and it strongly reacts to the words you just said, "twenty-seven coins…"
"OBJECTION!" Kamek yelled. "Why would a dinosaur that lies about the prize of her sun cream be that important?"
"Actually, the short pause after the word "cream" was to make up a number. Why would a sun cream tube be so expensive? Usually it`s around 11 coins. The truth is… she never knew how much it was, because she never really bought it."
"W-H-A-T?" Birdo yelled. "Actually he told me the prize, but he said I would get anything in his shop for free if I bring him something he wants."
"And what is it that he wanted?"
"I… can`t say it yet."
"Fine, continue your testimony."
"I had kept my things on the beach, and when I came back I saw Yoshi sleeping over my towel. So I woke him up and he said someone had stolen his eggs, and he is desperate at finding them."
"Hold on," Toddtoad said, without screaming this time. "What time was it then?"
"It was 11. After he told me that, I rushed to Peach`s Castle to find the eggs for him – he told me they were hidden around the Castle. I wanted to help him, so I rushed to Peach`s Castle, but before that I stepped again at Toadswore `s shop to buy something that can find anything."
"Move on with your testimony, please."
"Yoshi told me the eggs were around Peach`s Castle, and he never found them, so I decided to find them for him. It was 12 AM when I stepped for a second time into the shop, asking about an item to find anything that had to be found. Toadswore handed me some kind of metal detector with an Item Selection Screen. I rushed to Peach`s Castle right away. At 2 o`clock, I was searching for about an hour but I found nothing."
"May the cross-examination for this part of the testimony begin, please. If you mind repeating the first sentences, Birdo."
"He told me they were around Peach`s Castle, and he never found them, so I decided to find them for him. It was 12 AM when I stepped for a second time into the shop, asking about an item to find anything that had to be found. Toadswore handed me some kind of metal detector with an Item Selection Screen. I rushed to Peach`s Castle right away. At 2 o`clock, I was searching for about an hour but there I found nothing."
Kamek laughed for a few seconds. "You found nothing here to say, don`t you, Toddtoad? Unless you have some kind of evidence to show us…"
"Actually, I do. This morning before the trial began, I went to the shop, and I asked Toadswore to give me a list of everything that had been sold that day at that shop. Guess what?"
"What exactly, smarToad?" Kamek said, laughing.
"On this day`s sold things, there is no record of any metal detector-like thing. In fact, the shop sells nothing that looks like a metal detector. This part of your testimony is just one big fat lie."
Birdo stood in shock, her ribbon nearly falling off her head. "But then, how do you think I could have had such an anything-finder?"
"Oh, you`re near enough of the name. You say you stepped in the shop at 12 AM, and as coincidences never happen alone, there was a robbery at E. Gadd`s house at the same time. As your testimony is a lie, there is only one reason: you wanted to hide something from us. And what is it? That you STOLE that item from Gadd`s laboratory, of course!"
"Are you really sure of what you`re saying, Toddy?" Kamek asked. "This is quite an important accusation you`re doing here, you know. Breaking into one`s domicile and stealing something is worth a good time in jail."
"I am sure of it, because this morning, as Detective Shroomlock was searching for clues and evidence to present here, he found the Anything-Gaddfinder behind Peach`s Castle. When you arrived in the crime scene, yesterday at 7 PM, you were holding the eggs, so you couldn`t bring the Gaddfinder with you."
Kamek yelled "Stop!" and everyone looked at him.
"Listen, Toddtoad, I think it is too early for conclusions, don`t you? This case is something else than the main thing. Here, the goal is to find who killed the dinosaur Yoshi, not to know who broke in E. Gadd`s lab and stole his creation."
"It may in fact be an important piece of the story, because as we know, Birdo was searching for Yoshi`s eggs. The only real reason for this is unknown yet. That is why we will continue the testimony," Toadsworth said.
"Fine," Birdo said, already framed. "At 2 PM I had been searching for an hour but I found nothing."
"Has anyone seen you?" Toddtoad asked.
"I suppose I can no more lie. Yes, Mario and Peach saw me searching for the eggs, but I hid the Anything-Gaddfinder from them. I knew I would be in a lot of troubles if Mario was to discover that thing with me."
"Fine, the witness may now continue her testimony."Toadsworth said.
"Then, Yoshi arrived at Peach`s Castle, but I hid the machine from him. I sort of wanted to keep it as a gift, a secret, a good deed. I finally found Yoshi`s eggs, but they were in height. I really wanted to help him, so I went again to the shop, and I rented rocket shoes. I went back to Peach`s Castle – it was 5 PM. But Wario attacked me without any reason! I won the battle and rushed to the Beach. However, when I arrived there, I saw a small group of people looking to the corpse."
Toddtoad thought to himself. "Okay, so this is the last part of her testimony. That is the last chance I have of letting Birdo tell why she wanted the eggs that much. I am sure and certain that it was not to help Yoshi. Who would commit a crime to help someone? It`s the final lap before we change of witness."
"Cross-examination may begin," Toadsworth said.
"Fine, your Honor," Toddtoad and Kamek said.
"When Yoshi arrived at Peach`s Castle, I hid the machine from him."
"HOLD ON!" Toddtoad said. "You hid the machine? You stole it to retrieve his eggs, so why didn`t you tell him?"
"I said earlier it was some kind of gift, a secret, a good deed, you know, something we keep secret to surprise someone."
"Yes, but he would not have understand about the Anything-Gaddfinder. I suppose you really wanted to find his eggs, but not give them to him. Am I right?"
Birdo shook her head. "I suppose I owe you some explanation. You got me at this point. You know, the shopkeeper, Toadswrore… I had heard rumors that he was not a straight man and that he had done some terrible things back then. I would like to know if this is true. Can you ask Detective Shroomlock to search through the police documents?"
"Well, I suppose it is possible. Court is stopped for a recess of an hour."
***
In the waiting room…
"Good job, Toddtoad!" Luigi said. "You really caught Birdo! Now she will have to admit everything."
And just as they were talking about her, the egg-spitting girl/boy/whatever arrived in front of them.
"You really want me to go to jail, don`t you?" she asked.
Toddtoad gulped. "I don`t want any of you to go to jail, it is difficult for me to always have to ask questions to people who look nice. But it`s my job, I can do nothing about that. I have to help Luigi here prove his brother Mario has done absolutely nothing bad that day."
"But what about the witnesses?" Aren`t they supposed to be good as well?" Birdo asked.
"About 25% of the cases I was on had a witness do it. 50% had another suspect do it, while others had someone who is not really part of the story who did it. At 5% approximately, it was my client who did it. And I was unable to prove it didn`t. The court will start soon… I should be going."
***
"Court restarts now," Toadsworth said, smashing the hammer on the desk. "Birdo, you will have the last part of testimony to say a last time, after you learn what you wanted to know. During the recess, Detective Shroomlock did search through the criminal cases and discovered a most shocking thing: Toadswore has already been a poacher in his youth. He was very often seen tracking down critters and selling them to families or pet shops. Some wild Goombas were taken right out of the forest to be put in cages and bought by people. He was making a pile of coins with this practice. After the authorities caught him, he swore to stop, even though he kept many secrets he knew. Might it be possible that he has revealed one of these secrets to you?"
"Maybe…" Birdo vaguely answered. "All I know is that he made a deal with me; I would have everything I would take in his shop for free if I were to bring him Yoshi eggs. Why so, I have no idea. But as a shopping-loving girl as I, it was something not to miss. That`s why I got my sun cream for free, and later the rocket shoes."
"Okay, this will be added to the testimony. If you would please tell again the last part of your testimony, please, including what has been added.
"Then, Yoshi arrived at Peach`s Castle, but I hid the machine from him. I sort of wanted to keep it as a gift, a secret, a good deed. I finally found Yoshi`s eggs, but they were in height. I really wanted to help him, so I went again to the shop, and I rented rocket shoes. I went back to Peach`s Castle – it was 5 PM. But Wario attacked me without any reason! I won the battle and rushed to the Beach, passing there to go back to Toadswore`s shop. However, when I arrived on the beach, I saw a small group of people looking to the corpse."
"Cross-examination may begin, Mr. Toddtoad."
"Thanks, your Honor. Birdo, will you please repeat the first part of this last testimony?"
"…Yes. Yoshi arrived at Peach`s Castle, but I hid the machine from him. I sort of wanted to keep it as a gift, a secret, a good deed. I finally found Yoshi`s eggs, but they were in height."
"So they were hidden in a tree, is that so?"
"Yes, they were in height, and I really wonder how they got there. The one who hid them really didn`t want anyone to find them, as if he or she had the same goal as me…"
"We will see later. Please continue, Birdo."
"I really wanted to help him, so I went again to the shop, and I rented rocket shoes. I went back to Peach`s Castle – it was 5 PM."
"OBJECTION!" Kamek yelled. "You already admitted you weren`t trying to find his eggs for him but to give them to Toadswore. I think this part of your entire testimony has disappeared in a puff of thin air."
"Yes, and also the part about the rocket shoes. She said earlier that if she was to bring him the eggs, she would not have to pay. Rocket shoes renting IS expensive, so she really wanted to get the eggs so that her money would not disappear into a puff of thin air as well. However she didn`t have to pay since with this, she was sure that the eggs would be retrieved. Go on, Birdo."
"But Wario attacked me without any reason! I won the battle and rushed to the Beach, passing there to go back to Toadswore`s shop."
"Hold on. You mean Wario attacked you?"
"Yes he did, and he used his foul breath to poison me, he even tried his fart bomb, but I still won over him by spitting eggs and using the Hearteye, a move I designed myself. I won, however I didn`t want to meet him on the way, so I passed by the beach. He left toward Bowser`s Castle. It was now 6 o`clock."
"Just by curiosity, what is the Hearteye?" Toddtoad asked.
"A psychic attack I created, eyes appear in my eyes and I become so beautiful to men that they do whatever I want them to."
"Okay… (Remind me to never anger her…) Please go on."
"However, when I arrived on the beach, I saw a small group of people looking to the corpse."
"Hold on!" Toddtoad yelled for the umpteenth time. "You passed by the beach, as told so, but weren`t the people surprised of seeing you coming with the eggs?"
"Yes they were, they immediately thought I was the one who did it. Notice however that during the entire story I never ever saw the javelin used to kill Yoshi. Now that my part is done, can I leave?"
"Not yet, you will have to pay for the crimes you still have done – you broke in E. Gadd`s house and stole one of his properties. And you also had a plan to steal eggs from Yoshi and give them to a poacher. All this can bring you a long time in jail, or if you decide to pay the bill for it…" Toadsworth said.
"Yes, I`ll pay, I`ll pay!"
"That will be 270 coins – it should be 250, but you lied quite often during your testimony."
"You`ll have them in a week, I swear."
"Court is adjourned for the day!"
***
In next chapter… now that Birdo is done telling her side of the story, it is Bowser`s turn. The prime suspect claims to have done nothing, and says his kids have done a good part in this story. Now the Seven Koopalings each have prepared one of Bowser`s Keep`s weapon, with the help of a critter, and at a precise hour. Now Toddtoad and Luigi have to sort out their clues in a logic game that might give headaches. Who was fiddling with the javelin? Be careful, one Koopaling is lying!
