A/N: It turns out that I actually have the flu. I'm not amused at that. I've been out sick for three days so far and now I actually wish I was back at school. Even though school means the dreaded first period Algebra class. I hate Algebra.
Also, if I didn't get sick I would never have gotten the idea for this story. I guess it's a win-lose thing. My pain brings people joy.
Well, whatevers. I want to thank my reviewers. I would thank the alerters and favers but something weird is with my email and FF won't send me alerts of faves, reviews, or story alerts. Do any of you guys have that problem too?
Anyways, thank you to: Ampria, kutoki, Fly Away Dreams, smileyface1627, Eileen, Accio Double Stuff, A person, Less than three, Lo, ShamWOOHOO, SciFiMom2000, Me, Too Lazy to log in, Klainebows and Butterflies, and Someone Over the Rainbow. You guys are awesome! Totally Awesome! Magi-COOL! AH FREAKING MAZING!
Here is ze chapter deux! Please review! Reviews are like crack to me! Reviews are motivational! Review please! :D
Phone Calls and Imaginary Objects
Finn dropped his brother down on his bed.
"Ow!" Kurt yelled, "Watch it!"
"Sorry."
Kurt began to violently cough. If you weren't in the room with him, you would've thought that sound came from a long time smoker. "Could you get me something for this cough?" He managed to choke out.
"Sure thing, bro." Finn walked out of Kurt's bedroom.
Kurt reached for his iPhone. He began to text Mercedes.
"Can't shop today." He pressed send.
Kurt's vision was blurred. He was seeing double of everything.
His phone began to buzz. Kurt picked it up and checked the message. It was from Mercedes.
"Y"
Kurt began to text back, but his vision was blurred. He meant to type "Sick." But he ended up typing, "Slkjvck."
His phone began to buzz. Another text from Mercedes.
"Huh?"
Kurt then texted, "Ikm sgifjkl."
His phone then began blaring "4 Minutes" by Madonna. He answered.
"Hello?" He spoke weakly into the phone's speaker.
"Kurt?" Mercedes spoke, "You sound horrible. You okay?"
Kurt began to cough. "Peachy." He spoke with sarcasm.
"Don't you take that tone with me, White Boy!"
"Sorry." He sighed, "I have the flu or something. You can go shopping without me today."
"Not when you're feeling miserable. How 'bout I come over. Everything's better with me around."
"I don't want to get you sick."
"Don't worry about me. I'll be here soon." Mercedes hung up.
"'Cedes!" Kurt shouted into the phone. His delirium started taking over again. "Mercedes! Where did you go! Mercedes Jones!" Kurt began to hyperventilate. His eyes widened. "Lawn gnomes! Everywhere!" He began backing up towards the wall.
The door opened. A tall figure walked in. "I got the—um—the—Robitussin? Yeah, I think that's what it says." Said the voice.
Kurt chucked a pillow at the figure. He began to scream. "Get away, Mr. Trebek! I don't want to play your sick, twisted mind games!" He threw another pillow.
"Dude? What's wrong with you?" The figure came closer.
"Don't touch me with your alien hands!" Kurt was screaming bloody murder. "I will not do the Daily Double! Get away!"
A swift smack was felt on Kurt's face. His porcelain cheek was now red. Kurt blinked. He then sighed, "Finn, it's just you. What just happened?"
"I don't really know." Finn handed the medicine bottle to the smaller boy, "But you were like a freaking ninja!" Finn then read the bottle of medication, "I don't really know how much you're supposed to take. Just take like two sips of it or something."
Kurt opened the bottle and took to large swigs. "I must have been in a state of delirium."
"Okay…whatever that is…"
Kurt picked up his iPhone. "I need to call Blaine, to cancel our plans."
"I'm going to stay in here to make sure you two aren't having phone sex or something."
"Excuse me?"
"Dude, I'm just watching out for you," Finn explained, "That's what big brothers are supposed to do."
Kurt did not look amused, "I'm three months older than you. But if you mean it in a literal sense, yes, you are my big brother."
"Thanks…I think…"
"Can you just shut up so I can call Blaine?"
"Fine." Finn sighed.
Kurt dialed the number four. Blaine was number four on his speed dial. First being voice mail, second his dad, and third Mercedes.
The phone began to ring.
Blaine Anderson looked at his reflection in the mirror. He squirted some hair gel in one hand. He held a comb in the other. Classes started soon and he wanted to look dapper, as usual.
In his pants pocket was his cell phone. It began blasting the song, "Animal" by Neon Trees.
Startling Blaine, he jumped. The comb was thrown behind him and his other hand landed on the mirror, smearing the hair gel.
He sighed. From the ringtone, he knew it was Kurt. Blaine sighed and looked at himself in the mirror. Be dapper.
Blaine accepted the call. "Hello?"
"Blaine." Kurt's voice sounded hoarse and raspy.
"Oh, hey Kurt." Blaine said, trying to stay in his 'dapper mode'.
"Blaine, I feel really bad about telling you this." Kurt choked, "It's not you, it's me."
Blaine's eyes widened. He then gasped. Was Kurt breaking up with him? His life was over. No! Stay dapper. Stay dapper.
"W-What do you need to t-tell me?" Blaine stuttered. That was definitely NOT dapper.
"I'm gonna need to cancel our dinner at Breadstix tonight, I'm sorry."
"Oh thank God." Blaine sighed with a feeling of relief.
"What?"
"Nothing." Blaine answered. He was losing his dapperness. "Why do you need to cancel?"
It stayed quiet on the other end of the line. Blaine wondered if Kurt had hung up on him.
Then Blaine heard, "We are not having phone sex, Finn!"
"What?"
"Nothing!" Kurt yelled, "Anyway, to answer your question. I'm sick. I have the flu."
"Are you okay?" Blaine sounded worried, "Do you need me to come over and take care of you?"
"Blaine—"
"I'm on my way!" Blaine shouted into the phone, "I'll get there as soon as I can." The dapper routine had to wait. Blaine's boyfriend was sick. Blaine wasn't even wearing is uniform. Well, not all of his uniform. He was wearing the Dalton slacks, yes, and the collared, white buttoned down shirt. But, he was missing his jacket, tie and shoes. On his feet he wore a pair of black socks.
"Get out of my bedroom, Bob Saget!" Kurt yelled from the other end of the phone, "Your baby cacti won't stop chewing on my legs! It burns! IT BURNS!"
"Kurt!" Blaine yelled, "I'll be right there."
"The cacti work for the Feds!" Kurt screamed, "The Feds!" He hung up.
"Kurt!" Blaine yelled into his phone. There was no answer, only the dial tone. Kurt hung up on him. What did Kurt mean about Bob Saget and his evil league of cacti who worked for the government? Was he high? Were baby cacti really eating his flesh? Was he delirious? Blaine needed to make sure Kurt was okay.
He quickly slipped on a pair of sandals. Yes, he knew Kurt would yell at him for committing a crime against fashion, but he didn't care. Blaine grabbed his car keys off of the desk and forcefully opened his dorm room door. He quickly ran into the hallway.
"Blaine!" A voice called out. Blaine turned his head. It was his friend Wes. "Class starts in five minutes! Where are you going?"
"Kurt's sick."
"Blaine, we have an English exam in five minutes!" He then noticed Blaine's ungelled hair and outfit. "You look like a hobo."
"I don't care!" Blaine shouted, "Kurt needs me!"
"What about Warbler's practice?"
"Let Jeff sing or something! I really don't care! Aren't you guys all sick of just hearing my voice? I know I am!" Blaine sighed, "Can you cover for me?"
Wes rolled his eyes. "Fine." He groaned. "But you so owe me."
"Thanks man!" Blaine started running down the hall.
"Tell the chinchillas to stop eating my blankets!" Kurt yelled to his stepbrother.
"What the hell is a chinchilla?" Finn thought.
Kurt was acting like a complete spazoid!
Without thinking, Finn grabbed the cup of water off of Kurt's nightstand. He then threw it on Kurt.
"What was that for?" Kurt yelled, his voice was hoarse.
"You were acting like a complete spazoid!"
Luckily, Kurt's bed wasn't wet. But, he himself was soaked.
"I'm going to change." Kurt coughed, giving Finn a death glare. Kurt walked into his closet, carrying a new pair of pajama pants.
"It was only water, Kurt. Calm down."
A few minutes passed and Kurt was still inside his closet. Does it really take that long to put on a different pair of pants?
Finn, being the caring brother that he is, knocked on the closet door.
No answer.
He knocked again. "Kurt?"
Still no answer.
Finn opened the closet door. There he saw his brother sleeping on the ground only in his boxers. Yes, Kurt wore boxers. Kurt must've been exhausted. Yelling and fighting imaginary objects does that to a person.
Finn rolled his eyes and dragged Kurt by one of his legs. He then lifted him onto the bed.
At least he was asleep…for now…...
A/N: I advise you NOT to down a bottle of cough syrup. Remember what it did to Henri in Acafellas? He lost both of his thumbs. But fear not! Kurt's not losing any fingers. He's just gonna be high on cough syrup when he wakes up. 'Cedes and Blaine need to see their Kurtsie! 'Cedes is gonna be bringing along some friends. Next chapter we'll see Man Hands, Asain, Wheels, Other Asian, Puckzilla, Quinny, and Brittany! Yays! I loves me some Wheels, Puckzilla and Other Asian, they are supermegafoxyawesomehot. Just like Darren Freakin' Criss. :) And Brittany is awesome.
Anyways. Thank you so much and please review!
