"Sorry about the mess, Mr. Schnee," Ruby said, looking at the broken... Everything

"It's not a problem," Arctis said. "Min-Yon, fix."

"Beep Beep Boop," Min-Yon said. "Downloading into Atlasbots. Complete. Beginning-"

"Min-Yon, shut up."

Min-yon complied. A part of the wall slid open and out walked several gynoids, going about fixing the doors, righting the furniture and even installing new glass on the windows.

"Does this happen a lot?" Yang asked. "You seem awfully prepared."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that statement," Arctis said. "Min-Yon, when you're done, release control of Atlasbots and return to the disk."

An Atlasbot stopped in front of Arctis and blinked twice, before returning to work.

"Oh god, they're spreading," Blake murmured.

As Min-Yon got to work, Yang turned to her sister. "You're bigger than me now," she said. "Like way bigger."

Ruby looked herself over. "It does feel great to be tall."

She bounced up and down on her toes a few times, watching the effect it had on her newly acquired curves with interest. Weiss looked like she might be having an aneurism.

Then suddenly, the door flew open with a bang. Ruby looked up to see what she'd only describe as the smoothest pimp-daddy ever to walk the streets. The remarkably well-dressed man strutted forward, twirling the cane in one hand deftly. A diminutive girl with a curious brown and pink hair-do held on to his arm.

"Evening, Ladies. Red," the orange-haired guy said, bowing a little as he removed his snazzy bowler hat, "or is it Your Highness now?"

"Who are you?" Ruby asked, glancing sideways at the others, her brow furrowed and nose crinkled.

"Roman Torchwick, kingmaker extraordinaire, at your service," he said, leaning forward on his cane. Ruby noted it was somewhat thicker than canes of that model usually were.

"He's a smuggler, My Queen," Arctis said, rolling his eyes. "And many other, less savoury things."

Torchwick stage-gasped, placing a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Arctis. I thought we were friends."

"I'm just being honest," Arctis said. '"And no, we're not."

Torchwick frowned at him, tutting. "But smuggler is such an ugly way to describe my woefully misunderstood line of work."

"What would you call yourself instead?"

Torchwick grinned impishly. "The people's servant! They make demands and I deliver."

"If they pay you."

"Even servants have to be paid," Torchwick replied. "I'm not a charity. Besides, it's only civilized to tip generously after good service."

"Uh, is there a point to this?" Yang asked, eyes bouncing between the two men.

"Patience, Goldilocks. We're getting there," Torchwick said. "I find things that people don't want found or people who don't want to be found, as happens to be the case today."

Weiss glanced around, doing a silent headcount. "Well, we're all here."

Torchwick sighed. "Baby Ice inherited your sharp tongue, Arctis, if not your sharp wit."

"Baby Ice?" Weiss repeated, brow furrowed. "Not Ice Princess? And hey!"

"Please, that's too easy. I like to think of myself as having more class than that," Torchwick said.

"At least he's original," Blake murmured to Yang, who may or may not have been snickering.

"I try to be, Kitty-Cat." Torchwick puffed out his chest. "Well, now that you all have your special names, we can get down to business."

"He doesn't," Ruby said, pointing to Arctis.

Arctis smiled.

"He already has one, but I'm not allowed to use it," Torchwick answered.

"He doesn't get paid if he says it," Arctis said.

"Or how he got the name," Torchwick added with a wicked grin. Arctis gave him a level stare. "My lips are sealed with the world's strongest adhesive."

"Duct tape?" Ruby asked.

"Money. Lots and lots of money."

"Wow. Did he kill a hooker or something?" Yang wondered, eyes sparkling.

"Sorry Goldilocks. Can't say," Torchwick said.

Yang pouted. "Aww, not even over drinks?"

"Especially over drinks."

Torchwick eyed Arctis who just pursed his lips.

Weiss turned to her father. "He's not getting paid by the hour, is he? Because he's been here for five minutes and I still don't know why."

"Baby Ice, Baby Ice, you're giving away the game!" Torchwick said, aghast. "Loosen up a little. Life's no good if you're rushing it."

"Oh, she can't," Yang said. "Trust me, I've tried. A lot."

Arctis sighed. "Let's get this over with, Torchwick. I'm missing my show because of you."

Torchwick pouted, but shrugged. "Very well," he said, eyeing Ruby. "We need to save your sister."

"I need to be saved?" Yang asked.

"You probably do, from yourself if nothing else, but I meant the relevant sister," Torchwick said.

Yang crossed her arms. "Can I punch him now?"

"While that would be amusing, I'm afraid we don't have the time," Arctis said smoothly.

"Besides, how would you find the sister if you did that?" Torchwick asked.

"Does the sister have a name?" Weiss asked.

"Sure she does! It's..." Torchwick paused and turned to his companion. "Neo, the special effects, if you please?"

"Ta da!" Torchwick said, gesturing as Neo waved her hands in the shape of a rainbow, the words Cinder Fall glittering in the air.

"Is that her Semblance?" Ruby asked.

"Nah, that's just magic, Red. She also has a trick with a pencil, but you have to look real close to see that one."

A pencil appeared in between Neo's hands magically as she showcased it to the girls.

"Not now," Arctis said, his eyes hard.

Neo frowned, but tucked the pencil back inside her jacket's inner breast pocket.

"As far as we can tell, Cinder's being held prisoner here," Torchwick said, pointing at an empty pocket of air. "I said, here."

Nothing continued to happen.

"Arctis, didn't you have that robot-thingy that did projections?" Torchwick asked.

Everyone looked at Min-Yon pointedly, finding the yellow disk oddly quiet and the Atlasbots missing, presumably back in the wall. A tiny red light flickered above Min-Yon.

"Oh, now you run out of power," Arctis grumbled and began opening drawers at random, scrounging through his things. "Now where did I put his charger…"

"This is awkward," Yang said. "Not as awkward as watching Ruby and Weiss make out, but it's up there."

"Fuck it," Arctis declared, throwing a stack of papers onto his desk. "We'll do it live. Here's a map. Figure it out."

Torchwick poked the papers with his cane. "So...anyone know how to use one of these?"

"I thought these were extinct," Blake said, frowning. "Like dinosaurs, or good fanfiction."

"Alas, no," Arctis said, walking over to his whisky cabinet and pouring himself a stiff drink. "While Torchwick familiarizes himself with that map, there is another matter that we must discuss."

His eyes fell on Ruby and Weiss, who still stood within a few inches of one another ever since they'd parted from the passionate embrace.

"Since we now know who you are, princess, that means you will need to read this…"

He reached into one of his desk drawers and drew out an ancient scroll of parchment. He rolled it out - and it promptly rolled itself back again. Frowning in annoyance, he used Min-Yon as a paperweight and angled the document to Ruby, right underneath a stray ray of Atlesian sunlight.

"Read this."

"Uhm. Okay."

Ruby bent down over the contract. Her jeans were way tighter now than they'd been that morning. For some reason.

"Sooo... Is this real?" she asked, looking at Arctis. "The House of Schnee shall unite with the Royal Bloodline…"

"I'm afraid so."

"Let me see," Weiss said brusquely, pushing Ruby aside and peering down at the scroll. Over the next minute, her gaze tracked down each paragraph in turn, re-reading some of them multiple times, her face getting redder and redder with each passing second.

"Father. What...what is this hogwash?"

"A matter that is out of our hands, Snowflake."

"How exactly? When has anything ever been out of our hands? Couldn't we just ignore it?"

"What? Show me, show me!" Yang said, snatching the paper away from Weiss. Yang had never been a particularly fast reader, but today was a day for exceptions. "Okay, who do I need to punch to make this go away?" Her aura and her eyes reddened, fire spontaneously erupting around her.

"Please don't burn the contract," Arctis said.

Yang growled at him. "Start. Talking."

"Unfortunately, we can't do anything. The contract was bound to our family line, awaiting the right conditions. A breach of the contract now would result in your sister's aura being torn to shreds, at best. In all likelihood, they would both die."

Yang's fire sputtered out, her face going pale. She edged a few steps closer to Ruby, probably without even realizing it.

'Even Weiss doesn't make Yang's fire go out that fast,' Ruby heard Blake say.

"I'm sure it'll be okay," Ruby said. "What do we have to do? Fight some Grimm? Oooh maybe I could get a second scythe. That would be awesome! I'd need a trunk to store it in though..."

"How would your scythe fit in a trunk?" Yang asked.

"Well, it's magic, see... There's all sorts of cool stuff you can get nowadays and-"

"We have to get married," Weiss interrupted.

"Married?" Ruby squeaked, her ears going redder than her hair. It was quite a feat. "Isn't that for grownups?"

"Well, historically, Faunus children would get married around the age of fifteen to cement alliances between tribes," Blake said. "It was a common practice in pre-Grimm human societies too. I read it in Remnant-"

"A History," Weiss and Yang interrupted.

"Yes, seriously, we get it," Yang said. "You read a lot."

Blake pouted and crossed her arms, ears twitching.

"D-does it say w-when we have to do it?" Ruby asked.

"When the sun and moon are in syzygy, with the moon is at the tenth point and the sun is at the second," Arctis said.

The three girls turned to look at Blake for an explanation. "That makes no sense!"

Torchwick snapped his fingers. "Neo, show them please."

The ice cream themed girl produced a model of their galaxy.

"How did that even fit in there?" Weiss asked, raising a brow at her.

Neo gave her a narrow-eyed glare.

"A magician never reveals her secrets," Torchwick answered. "Also, she wants you to stop interrupting her act. It's only polite, you know."

Neo cleared her throat and set the model on the table, fiddling with the planets.

"This is the tenth point," Torchwick said. "And this is the second."

"Riiight," Yang said. "Which means...?"

"The third sunday of the next month," Arctis said.

"What!" Weiss and Yang said together.

"You know, Arctis, with how Baby Ice and Blondie are so in sync, you'd think they were the ones getting married instead," Torchwick said.

"Nope," Yang said quickly.

"Not a chance," Weiss said, just a moment slower.

"They really, really wouldn't work," Blake added.

"Well, I think they might be cute," Torchwick said, returning his attention to the maps.

Neo's hands parted, the letters OTP sparkling in the air.

Blake glared at her. "No."

Neo smiled smugly at her, as if to say, "Deal with it."

"Does anyone know what they're talking about?" Ruby asked.

"Some things we just don't ask about, sis," Yang said. "Like we don't ask about why you spend some nights in the workshop with Crescent Rose, alone."

Ruby tilted her head, her luxurious locks flowing to frame her face. "She gets jealous if I don't."

"Found her! She's being held in Dustholde," Torchwick said. "Roman, you are one smart fellow."

"So…we go there, break doors, kick ass and grab this Cinder person?" Yang stretched her arms. "Sounds like a regular weekend to me. When do we leave?"

"Why do we even need this Cinder?" Weiss asked. "And what does she have to do with our...wedding?"

"Because she's a princess?" Blake answered. "Isn't that what you do with princesses in distress?"

"Not in those books you think we don't know about," Weiss muttered. "There they do a whole lot of other things."

"She's great at picking out bridal gowns," Torchwick said. "Aaaand she may or may not be the actual Queen of Vale right now."

Blake gasped. "You mean she's…"

Neo nodded.

"Okay, seriously, I think they have some telepathic faunus link," Yang said, leaning to one side and placing hand on hip.

Blake glared at her. "That's racist."

"Super racist," Torchwick agreed. "You can't just say something like that, Blondie. It's offensive to the furries. The beasts might rebel against us or something."

Arctis cupped his face. "Not this again. Let's stay on topic, please."

"As I was saying," Torchwick said, "long story short, she wants to abdicate but she was kidnapped before she could. If she doesn't do it in time, Little Red and Baby Ice can't get married, then bad things happen." He paused and in the most serious of voices said, "I don't get paid."

"That so isn't the important thing," Yang said. "Well, we know where she is. Let's get her out."

"Easy there Blondie. Getting Cinder out of there won't be a simple matter," Torchwick said. "Or a cheap one." He gave the Schnee Patriarch a pointed look.

"Weiss will oversee the finances while you settle this matter," Arctis said. "You will have everything you need to see it through."

"Well first I'm going to need an elephant-"

"No," Weiss said.

Torchwick frowned. "How about a-"

"No."

"Arctis, Baby Ice-"

"No," Weiss repeated.

"Are you even going to let me-"

"No," Weiss said. "And before you ask, no."

"Harsh," Yang said.

"Fair." Weiss nodded. "I take my responsibilities very seriously. Now here's what we'll actually need..."


"So, is everyone clear about the plan now?" Weiss asked, looking around.

"Yes!" Yang glared at Weiss as everyone nodded vehemently. "We get it. If I have to listen to you two for another minute, I am going to ax-murder somebody."

"Umm..." Ruby raised a hand. All heads turned to her. "So… er… what does this Cinder look like?"

Weiss picked up a photo from a folder and Yang's brows furrowed, showing a striking dark beauty, with brilliant amber eyes not unlike Blake's.

"She kinda looks like a bitch," Yang commented under her breath.

"So, where to next?" Blake asked, voice pointedly raised, looking away from Yang.

"We have been at this for a few hours. I'm sure we could all do with a break," Arctis said. "Shall we agree to meet back here in, say, two hours?"

Weiss nodded.

"I could do with something to eat too," Yang said, looking at the others. A chorus of nods answered her.

"That sounds agreeable. We'll reconvene once we've had some lunch."


Weiss led them back through the courtyard with the huge animate grimm and to an elevator. They rode up several floors and ended up in a hallway.

The Schnee mansion was a series of contradictions. The outer walls were made out of solid rock, polished smooth and gleaming in the light of dust-crystals set into the stone and complemented by bright surfaced walls on the inside. Here and there, Ruby spotted the beginnings of corridors that led to dead ends.

"My family has lived within these mountains for centuries," Weiss told them proudly. "Ever since the first Grimm appeared, according to the legends. It's been the duty of each Schnee to maintain and build on the family haven."

In that sense, the Schnee Mansion was a lot like precious stone. Something rough and hard perfected over time and made magnificent. A work of art that was never truly finished; it was a symbol of the resilience of humanity, of continuous, relentless evolution and the struggle for excellence.

They walked in silence, looking around and admiring how smooth high-arching ceilings, despite the contrast, blended seamlessly into jagged stalactite.

"I could stay here forever," Ruby said, looking around wistfully.

"You're probably gonna have to, now that you're getting married and all," Yang said, nudging Ruby with her hip as she walked past her.

"Really?! I can stay here? Yay!"

"We are still going back to Beacon once this affair has been settled," Weiss said, rolling her eyes in equal proportion to both of them.

She moved to the end of the hallway and did her glyph-trick to one of the doors and it slid open with the grating of stone on stone.

Ruby felt her eyes widen at the sight revealed before her. The room was bright and shiny and the walls gleamed as if they had been dusted with snow. Everything in the room was dyed in a combination of white and pale blue with scattered streaks of red. Not a single thing was out of place. It was so… Weiss.

"Wow! This is sooo beautiful! Is this your room?"

As Weiss opened her mouth to reply, Yang whistled. "It really is, Weiss."

"Thanks," Weiss said, looking down, her cheeks tinged with a reddish hue.

"Well," Yang said, "I'm starving and I think the two lovebirds might want a moment or two to 'talk things out'. Blake. You in?"

Blake looked up from the book she'd been managing to read while walking, blinking at Yang.

"Food. Yes. That sounds lovely."

The silence got awkward fast once Yang had led-slash-dragged Blake along for an assault on the cafeteria.

"This is weird," Ruby muttered, walking past Weiss to get a better look at her room. "All the stuff happening, you know. I never thought it could get much weirder than the grimm and then…"

She shrugged.

Weiss pulled Ruby along and sat down on the bed. "Yes, I know what you mean."

They sat in silence, Weiss still as a rock and Ruby fidgeting, playing with the hem of her now significantly shorter skirt.

"We'll manage," she said. "We always do."

Ruby took her partner's cool, slender fingers in her hand, smiling shyly down at her.

"Would you like to…" Weiss flushed and swallowed, then leaned in close to Ruby's ear and whispered…


"Man they have good food here." Yang groaned, bracing her hands on the table to push her weight off her chair. "Do you think they keep beds around here to sleep it off?"

"I think Weiss' bed might be occupied."

Yang chortled, thought about it, and then turned to face Blake with an unusually serious expression. "Do you really think Weiss would-?"

Blake shrugged and Yang's eyes widened.

"Oh man, she's gonna boink my little sister."

"Sooner or later."

"We should probably go back and see what they're doing. You know, just in case."

Blake smiled.

"If you'd like," Blake said. "We've only been gone for twenty minutes, though. She probably hasn't had time to get Ruby out of her corset yet."

Yang had stopped listening, however, and she pulled Blake along towards the exit.

"Yeah, that's great. Let's go."

They paused outside of the door to Weiss' chambers and Yang pressed her ear to the smooth wooden surface, listening intently.

There was a screech as something -the bed?- was moved and a hurried, strained whisper. "No, no, not there! Slightly to the left!"

There was a thump. "Ow! The other left!"

"Okay, okay. Stop pushing so hard. It won't go any further."

Yang's eyes were wide in horror. "Please tell me they're not doing what I think they're doing."

Blake put an arm around Yang's shoulder. Her voice was soft and sympathetic. "You may have to reconcile with the fact that they are humping like rabbit faunus in there."

The doors slammed open. Blake pushed past Yang and burst through the door into the room. She stared at the scene in front of her. "But… I… but…"

Yang let out a relieved breath as she followed her teammate in. Weiss and Ruby both sat opposite one another on the girl's giant frickin' bed, kissing. "D'aww, way to go, Rubes!"

Weiss pulled back with a startled expression making her blue eyes widen. "What are you doing!?" she all but screeched at Yang.

"What are you doing?" Yang shot back. "You're the one going for second base with my little sister, missy."

"I am not!" Weiss insisted, jerking her hands back from underneath Ruby's corset.

"Er… you kinda were," Ruby said, rubbing the back of her head. "Which was totally fine and all."

Yang walked over to them and plopped herself down on Weiss' bed, grinning as she put one arm about the girl's shoulder. "Sooo, how was it?"

Weiss's face became as red dust, made all the more obvious by the contrast with her normally pale skin. She straightened up, trying, but failing, to keep up her usual haughtiness. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell."

"Awww." Yang poked the Heiress. "Come on."

Blake's eyes glinted with mischief. "Yeah. Were they as perky as they look?"

Weiss threw her hands up in despair. "I don't know, go feel for yourself!"

"Does this mean you don't mind sharing?" Yang asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"She's your sister!"

"That's not a no."

"Ugh!" Weiss stormed out.

"Weiss?" Ruby asked, standing up.

"So, Ruby, care to share?" Yang asked, turning to her sister.

"Yaaaaang!"


"I'm not sure that'll fit," Ruby said, looking at the top Yang had presented her with.

"Oh, it'll fit," Yang assured her. "Might be a bit snug, but that's the point."

"Not everyone aspires to dress like a streetwalker, Yang," Weiss said tartly.

"Stop complaining, Weiss. This is for you as much as it is for Ruby," Yang said.

Weiss rolled her eyes.

"I happen to like her the way she is," she said.

"Isn't that just adorable?" Torchwick said, pushing open the door of the little shop they were in. "Baby Ice is in love."

"What are you doing here?" Blake asked.

"I," he said, "have a better plan to save the Princess, Kitty-Cat. Now all I need is is for you to run a few errands in town and get me…" He paused to think it through, then said: "Fourteen yards of rope, three hundred grams of Premium Red 'Crymson' dust, three bottles of vodka, a boombox and one dire penguin."

"A...dire penguin? What are you playing at, Torchwick?" Weiss repeated.

"Not to be confused with regular penguins," Torchwick continued, as if she hadn't spoken.

Weiss massaged her temples as if to ward off a headache. "Of course."

Torchwick walked up to Ruby, put an arm around her shoulders and said in an between-us-girls tone of voice, "By the way, get the white top. It'll look smashing with your hair."

Ruby glared at him, then checked on the aforementioned top. Torchwick might have a point.

"Okay, fine, but I still want a new corset!" Ruby turned around and walked off to try it out.


"Ruby."

"Yeah Weiss?"

"Why do you have two scythes now?"

Ruby made a "whooshing" sound as she drew figures of eight in the air. "Crescent Rose was getting lonely, so I got her a friend."

She hugged the scythe, with its pitch black haft and charcoal gray blade, cooing softly to it.

"Weiss is a meanie who doesn't understand anything," she assured Ebony Darkness. "Such a pretty wittle thing, yes you are, yes you are."

"How long do you think it takes before she tries to convince Weiss to bring the scythes into the bedroom?" Blake whispered.

Yang considered the question. "I bet you she already has!"

Torchwick scratched at his cheek, a disturbed look on his face. "You are all profoundly fucked up. Did you know that?"

"And yet, you're the only one who's a criminal here!" Yang said.

"Allegedly, Goldilocks. Allegedly."

"You're also allegedly a jerk. No wait…"

Torchwick smirked at her.


Torchwick panted. Despite his best efforts, the trunk had not moved an inch. "Jeez, Little Red, what did you put in this thing?"

"Wimp," Yang quipped, lifting it up with one hand. She smirked at him and stowed it into the airship.

By the time they had reached their destination, Ruby had fallen asleep on Weiss' thighs and she made a soft whining noise when Yang shook her awake.

"We're here, sweetie," she whispered.

Ruby blinked her eyes open and shot to her feet.

"Alright, team RWBY!" She caught a significant glance from Torchwick. "Aaand the other person also here but not on team RWBY. Let's kick butt!"

The doors at the back of the ship slid open and Ruby jumped out, almost floating down the half dozen feet to the ground. Boots thudded onto the ground as the rest of her team landed behind her and began to move.

Ahead of them, a large castle loomed. It was square-shaped and cut from the same rock as the mountain it stood upon, blending seamlessly. The evening sun left a blood-red stain gleaming on the tall crenelated towers that the points of each corner. A pair of enormous wooden double-doors blocked their path. With a fierce battle cry, Yang pulled her arm back and lashed out, pulverizing it.

The dust slowly settled and they all stared in a mix of horror and confusion at the sight before them.


A/n: What kind of a pet do you think would fit Ruby?