Getting Used To Life
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"ETA: ten hours to the Widow Relay... unless the Reapers catch up with us first, right?" Joker announced somberly before he went on to monitor the route he'd traced.
"What do you think, Liara? Will he make it?" Sunday's eyes tried to avoid Kaidan's body. He was lying on the table, already hooked on a stabilizer. They'd left most of his armor on to avoid unnecessary trauma, but his helmet was off, and she couldn't help but notice the bruising that was already creeping up his face.
"Kaidan has always been resistant. He will be fine. Look over here, Shepard. This will sting - don't move." The asari wiped Sunday's eyebrow with an antiseptic cloth and she clenched her teeth. "How are you feeling?"
"What do you think?" she asked, bitterly.
"I'm asking about Earth-"
"I know you are." She drummed the sides of the chair impatiently. "You've heard what I said to Hackett. I meant every word, Liara." She gave her old friend a stern look. "I'll have to make the Council help us, whether they like it or not. Anderson's counting on us, and I won't let him down."
"The Alliance-"
"Fuck the Alliance," Sunday snarled as she stood up. "They're the reason why thousands of people are dying down there every minute! What'd they do with the intel I got, huh? They sat on it. They used it to warm their asses, and instead of letting me go out there, they locked me up. So fuck them all!"
"But it's not them, is it?" Liara sounded serious. "We're doing this for the people, not for the Alliance, or the Council." She pressed Sunday's arm briefly. "I know we can do this. I'll work as hard as I can, and we'll stop the Reapers if it's the last thing we do."
Sunday shook her head. "Sorry. It's just…" She looked at Kaidan. "This is not the most promising start."
The asari gave her a look that had "concern" written all over it. "Why don't you go lie down for a while?" Liara finally suggested. "I'll set up my things and let you know when it's time to get ready."
"Commander Bailey, huh." Sunday smiled as she shook his hand. "Congrats, man. So, who'd you kill for it?"
"The former Executor," Bailey replied in deadpan fashion. Sunday narrowed her eyes. "Yeah… Pallin. It was… Don't ask me to explain it, 'cause I don't get it myself. One minute I was trying to take him in to the main office for interrogation, and the next we were struggling for the gun."
"Wow, that's… odd."
"Quite. In any case, Udina gave me this promotion and a slap on the back, and here I am, having more work than I should. I cannot even take five bloody minutes to try to contact Earth."
"Got family there?" she asked, as they walked to the elevators.
"Yeah…" He didn't say anything else.
"Listen, Bailey… This drell-"
"I knew you'd come asking for him," Bailey sighed. "Sorry about that."
"So it's true then."
"Sadly, yes. But Kolyat is still around. He moved into his old man's apartment, I heard. We haven't talked much lately; he's working for one of my men now. He asked for some time off a few days ago – that's how we learned about it. I can give you his address, if you want. I'll upload it to your nav system."
Sunday nodded slowly. Even though she'd accepted Thane's death as soon as James had told her about it, it was evident that part of her still wanted to believe. But talking to Kolyat would have to wait, since Kaidan and the Council had priority. She couldn't help but think of what Thane would say if he saw her immersing in her work. She didn't know if he would approve. For the first time, it occurred to her that there were still so many things that she didn't know about him; things that she'd never know now.
She became aware that Bailey was watching her. She straightened up and followed him outside the elevator.
Sunday heard every word coming out of the Councilor's mouth, and all she could think about was him. He had to be there, and knowing him, he'd be right where the action was. He'd never abandon his people if Palaven was in danger. But finding him in the battlefield would not be easy. Unless…
"Councilor: you've got a deal," she said, interrupting Quentius. "I'll get you your Primarch, and I'll let you deal with him however you want as long as you get me what Earth needs."
"Commander, diplomacy may not be your forte, but I certainly can't argue with your swiftness," Quentius replied approvingly. "Were your insubordination not a recurrent problem, I'd say there might be a bit of turian in you."
"I've got a friend who would make a few jokes about that," she smirked. "Udina, I'm off to collect the Primarch. You'd better get off your ass and get Hackett what he needs."
Councilor Udina gave her a death stare as she waved him goodbye.
"Set up an outpost near that comm tower," Garrus commanded as he rearranged the positions of his men on the map. Two units at the back and three units to the front… It would leave an open flank. One of his units was being tended to, and it would be hard to replace them. "Marius! Tell the techs to raise the turrets on these locations!" He raised his arm to send the coordinates and then saw a light in his omni-tool, flashing dark red.
. . .
"I've set up a private channel. It runs through the Normandy comm system, so if you get spaced again, I'll be the first to know." He shushed her before she could object to his paranoia, and uploaded his data to her omni-tool. "Some things should never happen again."
"They really won't." Sunday shrugged as she played with the spoon and the tub of yogurt. "Can you seriously imagine the Alliance spending so much money on me? Now that Cerberus is out of the question, I'd better take care. So, how does this work? Is it a distress beacon?"
"Something like that, yeah. You can send a pre-recorded message, which will loop-"
"Shit, Garrus. If we ever use it, the last thing I need to hear is your voice panicking again and again. Can I silence it?"
"Input the key. Don't you go forgetting it. I know your head can be full of crap, but make some room for it and memorize it." He showed her the code. "And there you go."
"Splendid. Will it be automatically activated if you get hit by another rocket?" Sunday stood up and poured herself some coffee. "I bet you're doing this so that I can save your sorry ass once again."
"Well, that wouldn't be bad for a change," he smirked.
. . .
He'd set it to flash that color because it matched her eyes. Stupid thing to do. He hadn't told her and she hadn't appeared to be interested in asking. Some things were better left unsaid, and some others… Garrus would never admit it, but his fingers trembled slightly when he pressed the button. Damn, that had been a bad idea after all. They'd promised to use it only in case of emergencies and now it was flashing. Then again…
He looked around. The Reapers were slaughtering them. If she was contacting him because something bad had happened to her... "Better make this quick," he muttered to himself, "before I lose my mind."
As they were systems away, the quality of the message was understandably poor. Still, her low voice, confident as always, was saying everything he wanted to hear.
"I'm coming for you, Garrus. Hang in there."
In spite of the explosions in the land and sky, the grim panorama, and the burden of command, he let out a sigh of relief.
And for the first time in days, he smiled.
"He said something about calibrations…?" The inflexion in Primarch Victus's voice was significant, and it made her smile.
"Yeah, that's kinda his thing." Sunday patted the older turian on the arm, to his surprise. "I'll see what I can do for your Conclave, Victus. Not sure if they'll listen, though. The asari want to sit out, and the krogan…" She sighed. "I once met a decent one. A merc, actually, so maybe not that decent. Anyway, he had this vision… Let's say he was more open-minded. His half-brother's the leader of that clan now. No love lost between us, to be honest. But perhaps, there's someone else we could talk to…" Her eyes lit up when she thought about Grunt. "I may have some pull with one of them. One of mine. Killed a thresher maw on foot and now everybody pisses themselves over it. Oh, and I'll have Liara talk to the Dalatrass. If it were up to me, I'd bypass her and go straight to the STG. But-" She took a look at Victus, who seemed to be barely following her, and she smiled, somewhat embarrassed.
"Diplomacy, commander. That, and chain of command." Victus sounded amused. "Neither of us likes doing things this way, but right now, the fate of the galaxy depends on it."
"Right you are," she nodded. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go check on my crew. I would talk to Garrus, but he'd probably ignore me like he usually does when he gets his hands on the giant guns."
As she walked to the elevator, she recognized there was a certain eagerness in her gait that had nothing to do with the important things finally getting sorted out. Garrus was there, and she hadn't realized how much she'd missed him till she'd found him on Menae. Liara and Kaidan had been friendly faces; even James had become a figure that she enjoyed having around. But Garrus, her good old Garrus, was different.
What the hell, duty can wait, she thought merrily. The door to the forward battery opened before her, and she was greeted by the sound of the tools. Garrus wasn't just content with calibrating the weapons electronically; he needed to touch them. But when she was about to announce herself, she realized that he was talking to someone on the intercom. She was about to leave when she made out her name.
"-think Shepard can pull it off?" Victus's voice.
"Oh, I'm sure she'll get it done, one way or another. She can be ruthless. I'm not saying that she'll shoot the salarians in the knee if they don't cooperate, but…"
"Sounds like me, but with a greater affinity for bloodshed. She'll be a fine ally."
"Everything you've heard about her is true, sir."
"I've never doubted your word, Garrus. But after all your talk about her, it was only natural for me to question whether your judgment had been affected by your… fondness."
It was only a couple of seconds of silence, but to Sunday, it felt like an eternity. So, it was evident to others as well, not just to her. She'd always felt that Garrus's attachment wasn't just a friendship they'd forged in the battlefield, but she refused to believe that he'd ever seen her as a female. As far as she knew, he wasn't really interested in humans.
"No need to be concerned, Primarch," the younger turian resumed. "Our relationship is strictly professional. We wouldn't even dream of spoiling it with sentimentalism. And now if you'll excuse me, I've got some formulae to work on."
She shook her head and opened the door once again. "Garrus?" she shouted, pretending that she'd just come in. "You there?"
"Right here, Shepard." He raised his hand and rattled a wrench. "I was just talking to Victus. He's got a good feeling about you. And I have vouched for you, so…" He stood up and cleaned his hands. "Don't make me look bad, will you?"
"I won't, I promise." She smiled and patted him on the arm awkwardly. "Vakarian!"
"Shepard," he replied.
She folded her arms across her chest. "Sooo… How's everything?" You're such an idiot. What is he gonna say? You saw Palaven burning. You sound just like Liara. Stop it. "I mean…"
"I know what you mean," he said seriously. "What do you want me to say, Shepard? You've seen it already. This Conclave is a long shot, and I know you're a sharp shooter, but…"
"Fishing for a compliment? You're a decent marksman yourself," she said. "Barely."
"Barely decent, me?" He snorted. "Shepard, once this is all over, I'll drag your ass to a shooting range and I'll show you what 'decent' really means, then. In fact, I think I'll make you redefine that word," he purred.
She chuckled and breathed out slowly. Taunting each other was good. Better than awkward silences. Then she remembered. "Wait… What about your family?"
"Yeah, that…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I haven't heard from them for some days now. I set up a channel like the one we have, but… I'm guessing that it's better if no signals come out of Palaven these days. Nothing that the Reapers can trace back." He noticed the look on her face and patted her shoulder. "It's alright. It's my dad we're talking about, remember? He'll know what to do. When I returned to Palaven from… Well, when you were taken away… I told my father everything…"
"Talk to me," she asked as she leaned against a panel.
She heard him recount the time that they'd spent apart and to her, he could have been telling her a children's story. Father and son reconciling, working together to beat the odds and save their homeworld… He'd been busy trying to prevent the unavoidable. But in all truth, they'd all been doing things. Garrus and his token force, Kaidan and his students, Liara and the Shadow Broker business, Kolyat and Bailey working for C-Sec… The thought of her wasting time in that apartment made her feel even more useless now.
"I heard they locked you up," he said bluntly, unwittingly bringing her back from her thoughts of helplessness. "I tried to contact you, but…"
"There was no way to contact me," she shrugged. "And nothing for me to do, really. I spent most of my time exercising. I didn't want to lose my mind."
"I can see the results, if you don't mind me saying. I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but your waist looks… smaller."
"I bet that's a good thing to say, coming from a turian?" she smirked.
"You'd be surprised," he replied with a half-smile. He cleared his throat. "In any case, you shouldn't make much of it. I know you and Thane are an item, so I won't make any comments that might make you uncomfortable."
"What's uncomfortable about saying I'm thinner?" Sunday frowned. "And Thane is…" She found herself at a loss for words. Saying that he was dead sounded too cold and too true. "Gone" just made it inconveniently ambiguous. "He... died some days ago. I've only found out recently. Didn't get a chance to see him again after we parted ways."
"Sunday, I'm…" Garrus swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
"I still haven't had time to mourn him, Garrus. It feels unreal. When Jacob died, there were so many other things going round my head. And now it's the same." She let out a bitter chuckle. "Perhaps that's good, isn't it? It's as if the universe was telling me to move on, go on with my life because we're running out of time." She looked up and blinked to fight back the tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes.
. . .
"I think you've had one too many, Shepard," he said, holding her by the waist and pulling her into the elevator. "You can't afford to be this drunk when we get to the Citadel. You'll be giving the Council every reason to mistrust you."
"The Council can fuck'emselves in the ass with a flaming bottle of Ryncol," she grunted slurredly. "Speaking of… Wrex had a bottle of that stuff in'is locker, din't he?" She leaned on him. "Why don't you be a darling and g-gerrit? We can drink it together in'is honor, Garris." She frowned. "Garris? No no, wait… Garr-oos." She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, nuzzling him.
"We're almost there," he murmured, not knowing what to make of her behavior. He was aware that Wrex's death had hit her harder than Ashley's. He understood that she had drunk more than she should. But at the moment, he couldn't keep up with this human – he just couldn't read her. "I'll get you to your cabin, and then you'll have some sleep."
"Am fffuckin' awake, Garris."
"Garrus."
"Valkyrian." She poked him on the nose. "Will you take me to bed?"
"I'll carry you if you can't walk, yes," he offered.
She just stared at him and laughed. "I can walk. I'm still standing, aren't I?" She pushed him away and showed him that she could rely on her feet. The elevator stopped abruptly and she lost balance. He grabbed her by the arm. "I'm still standing," she repeated as she wriggled away from his grasp, her voice a murmur now. "In the end, I am still standing."
He looked down and the first thing he saw was the tears hanging from the edge of her eyelashes. They were suspended there. He'd never see them fall.
She rubbed her face with her left hand, her right hand feeling the walls around her. "I'll find my way. Thank you, Garrus."
. . .
His hands wrapped around her right hand and she looked up in surprise. "I'm here for you, Sunny," he said softly. "Whatever you need, know that you've got a friend in me."
She raised her left hand and stroked the side of his face. The scars were fading, but she'd never forget the panic she'd felt when she thought he was dying. The groaning, the gargling coming from his throat that signaled blood, already spilling all over the floor; the smell of burnt flesh… No. No, she couldn't go through that again. She wouldn't get close to someone. If anything happened, it would be unnecessarily cruel...
Before she could withdraw her hand, however, he took a step forward. "Listen…" he started saying, but then the lights went out.
"What the hell…" she muttered. She raised her omni-tool. "Joker, what's going on?" Silence. The lights flickered and then died again. She switched to the emergency channel. "Joker?"
"-mander, the syst-ding. EDI's bl-"
"Let me clean it up," Garrus said, modifying the frequency. "Joker, speak now."
"EDI's not responding, and Traynor's fingers can't work any faster; we're force-starting the systems. Adams tried to use the emergency route to the core, but he says it's full of smoke. He's on his way there now." The lights flickered once more before they finally stabilized. As soon as the doors were unlocked, Sunday and Garrus ran to the med bay.
"Doctor Chakwas, are you okay?" Garrus asked.
The medic looked at him, unfazed. "Why wouldn't I be? The Normandy's still the safest place in the universe."
"But… The fire…" the turian mumbled, pointing to the AI core.
"It's just a little smoke, and Adams is taking care of it," she replied dismissively, and resumed her tasks.
"I'm going in," Sunday said. Adams bypassed the door and she stepped into the little room where they'd placed the body of that gynoid that had almost killed Kaidan. If it had been activated… She realized that she didn't have a pistol with her. "Shit," she grunted. As if it had been a password, EDI's servers lit up. She let out a sigh of relief. "Back online, EDI?"
An orange light, foreign to the room, greeted her amidst the smoke. "Yes, Shepard," EDI replied, as she stepped forward in her new skin. The synth body still had to be polished, but somehow EDI had managed to make it work. "I am here."
Sunday blinked, trying to comprehend what was going on. Garrus's "Wow" shook her, and right away Adams and Copeland hummed approvingly. She turned around and saw the three men gaping at the curvy robotic body. She frowned and they walked away. "Why'd you do this, EDI? Do you have any idea how upset Joker and Traynor are?"
"I will apologize in person, then," EDI replied gladly. Sunday grabbed her by the arm.
"Not so fast. We'll have a little chat first." She sighed. "I just wanna make sure that my pilot won't have a heart attack when he sees you…"
...
