Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. Gosh.

A/N- This was actually slightly based on a moment in my Enlish class when we were reading Romeo and Juliet. I just couldn't resist. ;)


The next day I was besieged by whispers as soon as I walked into room C-303. My face reddened as I hurriedly walked over the poster board with the cast list on it. The list read as follows:

Romeo: Edward Masen

Juliet: Bella Swan (A/N-She, Rosalie, and Jasper are step-siblings)

Lord Montague: Ben Cheney

Lady Montague: Lauren Mallory

Benvolio: Jasper Hale

Mercutio: Emmet Cullen

Abram: Matt Benningfield

Balthasar: Eric Thomas

Lord Capulet: Marcus Woods

Lady Capulet: Rosalie Hale

Tybalt: Mike Newton

Count Paris: Jacob Black

Nurse: Alice Cullen

Peter: Jeff Gomez

Prince Escalus: Angela Michaels

Friar Laurence: Jack Fredrickson

Friar John: Ernest Mitchell

Apothecary: Frank Baker

Gregory and Sampson: Hunter Stone and Trevor Albeck

My mouth dropped open in shock. Me? Juliet? This was very bad.

Lauren martched up to me furiously and hissed, "One wrong move, Swan, and I will destroy you."

I nodded slowly, trying not to laugh at her pathetic threat.

Looking satisfied, she flounced back to where Edward was sitting and started making out with him.

Alice came over to me and said cheerfully, "Well, this is excellent!"

I wrentched my eyes away from Lauren and Edward and looked at Alice incredulously. "No, this is very, very bad," I exclaimed. "I don't want to make a fool of myself onstage! Especially-" here I lowered my voice, "especially in front of Edward!"

Alice snorted and said reproachfully, "Bella, you are such a pessimist!"

Ms. Murphy interrupted our conversation be saying, "Okay, everyone, sit down and get out your scripts!"

Alice and I sat down in our usual seats next to the others and all of us pulled out our scripts.

Ms. Murphy had, in my opinion, an unusually mischevious look on her face when she said, "Alright, people, first thing: Give me an example of something you would get in trouble for talking about in class."

Predictably, Emmet shouted, "Sex!"

Everyone in the class laughed, but Ms. Murphy nodded and wrote "sex" on the board. "What else?"

This spurred many people to start shouting out answers, all of which she wrote on the board. When we were done, the list was rather lengthy and included such topics as "sex", "homosexuality", "masturbation", "foul language", "crude jokes", "pornography", and a number of other things.

Ms. Murphy then turned to the class and said, "So, now I'll circle all the things that are in Romeo and Juliet."

My jaw dropped. She circled almost ALL of them!

Ms. Murphy took a look at our expressions and laughed. "Yes, Shakespeare was a rather risque gentleman. In fact, he begins almost all of his plays with a crude joke or two."

Angela raised her hand and asked, "But, if it has so many taboo topics, then why does the school let us read it?"

Ms. Murphy smiled and replied, "That's a very good question. Class, why do they let us read it?"

Ben raised his hand and answered, "Maybe it's because they can't understand it, because of the Old English?"

"That's a good answer. Anyone else?"

I tenatively raised my hand and said, "Well, it could be because Romeo and Juliet is a classic, and a work of art. I mean, all those sculptors who made naked statues weren't told to censor their art for the good of the general public."

"Excellent, Bella, Excellent," Ms. Murphy said. "Now, open your scripts to Act 1, Scene 1."

The reading of the script was, to put it simply, hilarious. Lauren couldn't pronounce any of her lines and at one point Emmet said, "Holy statutory! Juliet's FOURTEEN? Isn't that illegal?" Jasper, Alice, Roaslie and I burst out laughing.

Lauren was also flirting with Edward immensly. I got so sick of her simpering that I went, "-cough-slut-cough-"

"What did you say?!" she screeched.

"-cough-incest-cough-" coughed Alice.

"BITCH!" screamed Lauren.

"Ms. Mallory, control yourself!" cried Ms. Murphy.

Lauren sat down, fuming. I exchanged a high-five with Alice and saw Edward looking at me, amused. But when he saw me looking at him, he scowled and turned away.

I sighed morosely and Alice smiled at me sympathetically.

When the bell rang, Ms. Murphy, "Class, make sure you read the rest of the play, because tomorrow we will start rehearsing! Bella, Edward, please stay after class."

Alice and I exchanged confused looks. What did I do?

After everyone left, Ms. Murphy turned to Edward and I and said, "Starting after school, you two will have extra rehearsals. I'll have to work with you two more than the others."

I immediately opened my mouth to protest, but Edward beat me to the punch.

"Do I have to? I have things to do, you know," said Edward petulantly.

I looked at him in disbelief as Ms. Murphy replied icily, "You do if you want to pass. Both of you are dismissed."

Edward immediately raced out of the classroom. I sighed and walked out, feeling dejected. After school was going to be hell.

Alice was right, I mused, I am a pessimist.