Diplomatic Relations

Summary: Jack finds time for a little 'diplomatic relations' with Thor. A 'man to Asgard' chat ensues…

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate or any of the characters and I make no profit from my writing. No copy write infringement is intended. However, if I did own these characters…my oh my…

Previously…

"Good luck Sir, see you soon", she imparted this last upon him with a heartfelt look of her own, making his knees weak and his heart flutter as he nodded his ascent and walked away, leaving her to continue with her preparations.

Jack O'Neill rapped politely on the door of General Hammond's office and waited patiently for his invitation to enter. The door was open as usual and the General was swift to respond. "Come in Colonel", he called from across his desk "Sit down Jack", he invited, indicating towards the vacant chair opposite.

Jack accepted readily and sat at ease feeling a little strange nonetheless, to be departing from somewhere other than the gate room. He had opted to wear unrelenting black in deference to Carter, knowing she adored his black-ops look more than any other. He'd seen her appreciative glances on previous missions and wanted to do give her something to think about while he was away. He grimaced internally at the conceitedness of that thought. 'But she does like it' he reassured himself. 'I'm not exactly the catch of the century am I'? He questioned to himself. 'So every little helps eh?'

He was torn abruptly from his private thoughts as the General began to impress upon him once more, the seriousness of his responsibility. He regretted his outward show of foolishness at times like these but remembering the looks on Captain Carter's face made everything worthwhile again and he endured the lecture with considerable patience.

"Colonel…Jack…" The general began, assuming a ready familiarity with his friend and colleague now that they were alone.

"All I'm asking is that you give them what they want, we have a good relationship with the Asgard, regardless of any treaty, we have a good 'personal' relationship with them because of you and the rest of SG1. They are fond of you all and you in particular Colonel, so it's up to you to give a good account of us while you're aboard their vessel. I have every faith in your abilities Jack - I always have had - so just be yourself…but don't be too much yourself! He corrected himself speedily.

"General I will reassure them completely that every human is just as normal as I am", he said impishly. But he swung swiftly from flippant to serious in the blink of an eye as he questioned the General. "George? He begun, uncharacteristically breaking protocol and addressing his commanding officer by his first name. "Is there anything else I should know about here? "Any other agenda on the board that I should be aware of?". He finished talking and immediately a small hint of a smile appeared on his face belying the seriousness of his previous tone; it was as if someone else had spoken, so sudden was his transformation between apparent earnestness and jocularity.

"Jack, I've told you everything there is to know, which is precious little to be honest. All I know is that they want to communicate on a personal level with a human being from Earth. I trust them and they trust us and in order for that trust to flourish and continue then it would be in our interests to acquiesce to these little requests. As far as I'm aware there's no other agenda here, other than to the opportunity for the Asgard to discover a little more about us without having to resort to their previous tactics.

"And is there anything I shouldn't tell them, should the question arise?" O'Neill ventured diligently?

Hammond caught himself again, as he nearly always had to do with O'Neill. The man was a strategic genius, masking his light almost completely beneath a veneer of juvenile innocence and rebellion. It was so easy to see the man he portrayed rather than the man he really was and the man he really was, the Jack O'Neill with quick wits and razor-sharp intelligence, was the best man in the field he had ever come across.

During his long career General Hammond had played the stupidity card himself a few times - the bluff, Texan accent helped of course, but he was nowhere near the master that Jack O'Neill was. Jack's Black-ops training had done more than teach him how to act - it had taken a mind that was designed for the task and melded it into something formidable. There were many men who were smart enough to appear dumb - what was that old phrase? 'It is wiser to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt' something like that anyway. But Colonel O'Neill had perfected his feigned idiocy to an art form - he could disarm you within the blink of any eye and yet know everything about you within moments.

It was not without good cause that he had risen so swiftly through the ranks, a fact that was often overlooked as people spoke down to him, humouring him and his irreverent, idiosyncratic foibles, revealing parts of themselves that he would never have otherwise seen.

Daniel Jackson was the man for diplomacy, but Colonel O'Neill was no pushover when it came to the real crunch, his instincts were second to none.

Hammond looked searchingly at his 2IC, and replied to his question after a short moment of repose and consideration.

"Jack, this mission is exactly as I have told you - there are no hidden agenda's from either sides I believe - and you are authorised to give full and unadulterated exposure to any of the Asgard's questions." "Moreover", he continued, glancing at the clock Thor has assured me that you may contact us, in full privacy, at any time should you wish to do so.

"The Asgard will be picking you up anytime now Colonel", he reminded, standing to bid his farewell.

"Good luck Colonel, and God-speed", General Hammond saluted and Jack, already standing now as well, ripped off a crisp salute in response as he was enveloped by a bright light and transported to the Asgard Mother-ship.

Jack felt the Asgard transportation field enclose him as he finished his salute and he held it firmly in placed for the benefit of the waiting Asgard - they probably wouldn't understand it, but he was feeling playful.

As he watched the Asgard ship materialise around him he became aware of his pack resting at his feet - he hadn't been holding it and he was grateful of their intuition as he picked it up.

A small contingent of miniature grey beings awaited him and they glanced among themselves at his appearance - one or two began to mimic his salute - slowly raising their hands in an awkward gesture of respect to this stranger in their midst.

As hyper-intelligent as they were, they were still strictly conscious of custom and protocol and he could tell that they were slightly uneasy at his presence, despite the fact that they had the capability to destroy him in an instant, Jack always felt that they looked a little nervous meeting him at close quarters, accept Thor of course, he was the friendliest Asgard Jack had met.

Instinctively he knelt before them, reducing his height to appear less threatening and bring his himself to eye level with them all.

"I'm supposed to meet Thor" he said. Lamely. "Little guy, big eyes, kinda quiet…?" Jack looked around expectantly.

"I will take you to him Jackoneel", one of the Asgard stepped forward as he spoke, his hand still half-raised in an unfamiliar salute.

"Now you sound like Teal'c", he began disarmingly, halting at their silence.

"Big guy, bald, gold brand on his head and a snake in his gut", he continued.

"Please jackoneel, follow me". Jack stood, shouldering his pack comfortably and following the small being into a side passage.

He caught up quickly and matched his larger stride to the little fellow, allowing his errant thoughts to wander back to Sam, standing under that mountain and preparing to dissect a Goa'uld larvae.

He let himself linger gratuitously upon her perfect figure and replayed various missions in his mind. He had only been gone minutes and yet he missed her with a passion - he wouldn't have seen her all day anyhow, absorbed as she would be in her work, but still he missed her presence beside him in the unfamiliar territory. At least he would have been near enough to now she was there - to sit in his room down the corridor and imagine her coming to find him. He shook himself out of his daydream as they entered the Asgard ships' command room - 'better here than roasting alive in the sweltering heat of the summer - and absence makes the heart grow fonder, so they say', he thought cheerfully.

"Thor, old buddy! How are you?". Glancing down to his side he saw the nameless Asgard still standing there and he ripped off another sharp salute for good measure. Thor inclined his head in greeting as the other little fellow stood perplexed, his hand half-raised again in a respectful, and interminably slow response.

"O'Neill, welcome." Thor intoned, indicating towards the many, low benches surrounding the bulkheads. "Please, be seated".

"I am glad you came, on behalf of my people I thank you for your consideration".

"Anytime Thor. Anytime".

The Asgard leader walked slowly and purposefully towards him, gesturing to an exit leading to a smaller room from the command station. "O'Neill I understand that you may feel uncomfortable conducting our conversation in such a large area - I hope this will suffice instead - the Asgard have little need for privacy but I do not wish for you to feel uncomfortable. To this end I have temporarily allocated this chamber as private quarters for yourself. You will find sustenance, water, one of your human 'showers', a bed and a communications device with which you can contact General Hammond should you wish to at any time."

"Thanks Thor", Jack sank gratefully onto the low seating as the Asgard watched him carefully. "I like what you've done with the pace, it's cosy", he spread his arms wide over the back of the cushioned bench as he admired the room. It sure was nice of the little guy to fix him up a special room like this.

"Y'know Thor? I could really get used to the lifestyle of the Diplomat!". "So when do we start?".

"We have already started O'Neill, every moment you spend among us allows our people to grow accustomed to the Tau'ri and observe your ways. Even simple body language is important to us - we must be able to decipher your feelings in order to better understand you. As you are already aware, we are notorious as treaty makers and impartial intermediaries for dispute, to continue to be successful we must understand all of the races that we communicate with.

"Of course, we have observed many humans from many different planets but it is your people, at your current level of technological advancement and with your culture, custom and tradition that we seek knowledge of at this time." Thor spoke in soft cadences, his large eyes reflecting myriad points of light.

"So I just go lay down somewhere and have a nap while one of your scientists sucks what they need out of my head right?

"No O'Neill, we simply wish to talk to you, get to know you. The insight you give us will help us to put the other humans we observe into perspective. You may speak in confidence O'Neill, we wish to talk to you as a person rather than a military representative.

"Is there anything you require before we start that would make you feel more relaxed" Thor enquired solicitously.

"Well a cold beer'd be nice", joked Jack, nearly falling off his seat as a bottle appeared on the table in front of him, followed by the rest of the crate, one by one.

"These were in your fridge, I hope this is the correct beverage O'Neill?"

"You took these from my fridge!" He exclaimed disbelievingly. "I'm supplying my own beer for this!" He exclaimed in mock indignation. "Thanks buddy", Jack smile wryly, taking the sting out of the sarcasm.

"If you are ready O'Neill, let us begin…"

Jack relaxed on the couch, taking long pulls from his beer as he considered the Asgard Commander's questions.

Back on base, Sam had called it a day and was, for once, heading home instead of sleeping on the base. Without Jack hanging about the place felt different. She didn't always welcome his disturbances, but just knowing he was there, knowing he would usually find some excuse to pop in and visit her, made her smile inside - knowing he wouldn't come had just set her on edge and she couldn't concentrate properly so home time it was.

Half-an-hour later she was relaxing in the bath, glad she'd opted to make the journey after all. She lay on her back, floating languidly in the large tub and allowing her mind to stray back to its favourite - off-work topic…Jack O'Neill. She knew that not being able to have him only served to intensify the desire, 'wanting what you can't have is a basic human trait', she thought mirthlessly to herself, but knowing it and being able to stop it were two different things entirely.

He was her friend and, colleague, her confident and her commander. A man she admired, a man she desired and the man she loved. When she was alone she let the feelings come, she allowed the fantasies to rage through her mind - sometimes she imagined him giving it all up to be with her, sometimes she did the same for him. Sometimes it was kisses - she'd imagined them all; wild and passionate, gentle and tender, every way she could imagine in every different scenario and for a while it was enough, barely. But missions turned into months and then years and still they seemed as far away as ever to a time when they could be together. She sighed wistfully, determined not to let melancholy overtake her. Life was good - all things considered, life was good. She smiled widely and allowed her mind to wander beyond the charms of Jack's enticing lips and into the realm beyond - a forbidden realm of fire and passion that she was allowed to imagine - but could never be allowed to enter.

Thor led the Colonel through a long series of topics and Jack answered accordingly; starting with brief summaries on various military and government organisations, the Air-Force rank system, nations of the world, speech and language, the internet, television, sport. The list was endless and Thor delightedly digested each new nugget of information, asking questions seemingly at random and happily veering off topic as one thing led easily into another.

"And what of reproduction on your world O'Neill?, we have the understanding that you still practice physical, sexual reproductive methods?. Thor continued quite normally, his expression unchanging as ever.

"Well Uh, yeah, yeah that's right". O'Neill suppressed his momentary surprise and looked questioningly at the small being before him. "And the Asgard lost the ability for this how long ago?" He enquired.

"Many, many hundreds of years ago O'Neill"

Jack sat forward intently, reaching for another beer has he did so. "So you've really been going without huh?" the grin slipped off his face as fast as it had appeared. "Me too little buddy, me too", he commiserated to the diminutive Asgard.

Thor leaned forward searchingly toward the Colonel, observing a change in Jack's demeanour.

"O'Neill, this is exactly what I hope to be able to understand from you", Thor said delightedly.

"What! You beamed me here to find out about my sex life?", Jack nearly choked, coughing up a mouthful of beer and looking heartily indignant at the very thought.

"No O'Neill, forgive me. I meant that I was aware of the point at which your mood became altered, I know enough about your kind to ascertain the various emotional states which you display…but I do not know why". Thor look questioningly at Jack.

Jack took a long slug from the neck of the bottle before responding. "I was trying to make a wise-crack, it backfired on me - made me remember the state of my personal own relationships." he said ruefully.

"You have not chosen a mate?" Thor ventured hesitantly into the uncharted waters of Jack's personal life.

"A- a - mate?" OK that's so wrong right there, for a start. "girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, husband…wife. That's how we describe our - our - 'mate's'.

"And have you a girlfriend-boyfriend-partner-husband…wife?" Thor repeated the strange formula carefully, replicating O'Neill's intonation as closely as he was able.

Jack laughed, the emotion bubbling up through him suddenly, he cracked up completely whilst the Asgard waited patiently through the duration of the episode. He finally got a hold of himself enough to answer and attempted to explain as simply as possible.

"OK I'm male so I have a girlfriend or a wife, sometimes we might say partner. If I was a female then I'd have a boyfriend or a husband - and again you could say partner instead. It does get a little more complicated than that…some males have male mates and some females have female mates". Jack took another pull of the beer and shook his head ruefully, to himself. He never realised he'd be expected to explain the intricacies of sexuality as part of a diplomatic mission.

"I see O'Neill, and you are sad because you have not yet found a partner?"

Jack sat back in his chair, he was thoroughly relaxed after a few beers and, truth-be-told, he was quite enjoying talking to Thor. He hadn't done so much talking in ages and the Asgard was such a unique conversationalist - he felt like he could say anything to him.

"I found a partner," Jack gestured wildly with his hands to illustrate his words…"I'm just not allowed to have her!".

"O'Neill, you are a fine specimen of the male human form are you not? Physically fit and mentally agile? You have shown yourself to have great courage and humour? Are these traits not prized among your race? Are you unable to take your pick of human females? I had thought you were a prime example of a human male - is it possible that the traits you display are displeasing to human females?

"WHAT! No! Thor, I do just fine with the ladies, thank you very much!" his ego jumped up and bit him on the ass as he realised what the Asgard leader was hinting at.

"It's because of my job Thor" Jack began. "The one I picked is under my command so I'm not allowed to have 'em as my partner. Simple as that".

"Ahhh, of course, I understand. And this makes you sad?", Thor tilted his head slightly.

Jack sighed "No, not really, not anymore, I've got used to it - maybe one day - but we've got serious goa'uld butt to kick before then". Jack put a brave face on in front of the alien and Thor tried his hand at humour to cheer the colonel up.

"And have you told Daniel how you feel about him O'Neill?", he enquired solicitously.

"THOR!" Jack look stunned for a moment before he detected a hint of amusement from the other being despite his lack of expression. "Was that a joke? Thor buddy you're coming on faster the Teal'c - must be my superior influence on you both". He smiled smugly and settled down again, glad that the Asgard had lightened the mood.

"Y'know Thor, buddy? I kinda like things the way they are - I'm a simple sorta guy. I like my job, I like my team and I get to spend loads of time with 'she who would be my mate', it could be worse!" He grinned disarmingly and took another swig.

"And does Captain Carter reciprocate your desires O'Neill?" he questioned further.

Jack looked thoughtful. 'Now there was the million-dollar-question', he thought to himself.

"Well, we do get on really well and I make her laugh - that's always a good sign. Does she love me? I think she does Thor, I think she does. "The way she looks at me…" He paused, eyes taking on a mischievous sparkle as he did so. "I mean, who wouldn't, right? I'm quite a catch y'know".

Jack sat straighter, suddenly as he realised something. "How come I can feel when you're amused even though your expression stays the same?" He asked as the realisation lanced through the alcohol for a moment.

"Over the years we have developed a certain degree of telepathy, or perhaps, telepathic empathy would be a more accurate explanation. It is much stronger between members of my own race but certain humans appear to be able to sense the edges of it when we are in close proximity. You are most perceptive O'Neill." He congratulated and the Colonel nodded in understanding. "That is so cool".

"So, Thor, your turn to spill the beans. Have you got a foxy Asgard chick waiting for you back home?" O'Neill declared outrageously. So much for diplomacy he thought wryly.

"O'Neill our race has long ago passed beyond that point, we are now completely asexual. There are memories of a time when we were not so androgynous but our sexuality is now meaningless to us.

"I know, I was just yanking your chain buddy", he replied irreverently.

Thor considered this for a moment and once again, Jack thought he detected a flicker of amusement about the Asgard.

"I believe you should rest now Colonel O'Neill, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow before your return to Stargate command and my scientists which to conduct some tests tomorrow. General Hammond mentioned that you were particularly looking forward to the probing…

Once more Jack choked suddenly, his eyes darting wildly at the door before he realised what Thor was up too. He assumed an indignant expression. "THOR!"

"Good night O'Neill" the Asgard said, pleased at his progress in understanding human interaction. He flickered and became enveloped in a white light, disappearing to some other part of the ship and leaving Jack alone.

Making his way further into his quarters he was surprised to see a human style bathroom awaiting him, complete with toilet, shower, wash basin and a shaving mirror - it appeared that Thor had really done his homework and he wondered how they had created the living space so quickly. Back in the seating area he located the Asgard communication device and activated it - wondering who had the other one at the SGC. Hope fluttered in his stomach as he let himself imagine that Carter would answer, willing her to be the one as he spoke.

"This is O'Neill, is anyone there? Over".

"O'Neill, this is General Hammond. Over"

Jack quelled his disappointment quickly.

"Evening Sir! Just checking in. Everything is going just swell on this end. I'm being as diplomatic as … as a very diplomatic thing Sir.

General Hammond smiled indulgently at the Colonel's outrageous tone.

"Glad to hear it Colonel. Everything is 'situation normal' here at the SGC. Thanks for checking in - see you tomorrow Jack. Hammond out.

The device went silent and Jack replaced it on the table. He retrieved his wash-gear from his pack and went through for a shower before bed. He sat on the edge of the can and tugged the sturdy, black boots off, following suit with his socks and jacket. He ran some warm water into the sink and splashed it over his face, looking up at into the mirror as the droplets fell back into the sink - not a few soaking into his black tee-shirt. He pulled the clinging garment over his head and observed himself once more, semi-naked this time, in front of the mirror.

Jack's soulful eyes were the colour of chocolate, his cheeks and chin slightly stubbled after the long day. His broad shoulders were creamy white in contrast to the dark tan on his arms and neck where portions of his uniform left his skin exposed to the sun. His muscles were defined and a trail of soft hair led the eyes downward to the flat planes of his stomach. His belt encircled his slim waist, the buckle resting dead-centre beneath his navel. The darkness of his combat trousers contrasted starkly with his pale chest and he found himself looking back into the depths of his own eyes once more.

He wished, for a moment that it was Sam's eyes he was staring into so intently, drowning in the twin, sapphire pools instead of watching himself in the mirror, alone and millions of light years away from home, from Carter.

"Do you miss me?" he mouthed silently at the reflection, willing her so sense that he was thinking of her.

Sam sat listlessly in front of the television, channel hopping, thinking about Jack. She'd have loved the chance to go and spend more time with the Asgard but the way his face lit up when he had been allowed to go instead was priceless. She'd never deny him those little moments of joy that he had when he'd got his own way. He was so simple and yet complex in ways she couldn't fully comprehend. He was a rock of loyalty and reliability in a world where people around her became far too wrapped up in their work to function on a more social level. Teal'c was always so quiet, Daniel was capable of shutting himself off for days at a time, immersed in some ancient text or another and Doctor Frasier was always run off her feet in the infirmary. But Jack? Jack was always there, hanging around on the outskirts; sitting in the canteen reading a report, bringing her coffee and sweets when she had forgotten to eat; wading, stoically through his in-tray or just wandering the corridors with childlike innocence, a mischievous menace looking for the next source of entertainment.

Sam got up and wandered out onto the deck. She stood for a long while, gazing up at the night sky, past the stars into the infinite darkness beyond and wondering what he was up to right now.

'Do you miss me?' She thought to herself. "I miss you…Sir", the honorific came out automatically as she spoke the words aloud, willing them futilely across the miles to him.

To be continued…