Chapter 2 – How the fish swims

The kids in the school yard were playing at the skipping game with a jump rope, singing the song I learned before I was in First Form.

"One, two, three, four,

What's the fisherman looking for?

Red fish swims straighter,

He's a fighter!

Green fish all sideways,

Only on Fridays!

Yellow fish upside down,

Acts like a clown!

Blue fish goes upstream,

She's not all she seems!"

Their piping voices giggled as they finished the verse and started counting the number of times the rope went around.

I sighed. Yes, just like the blue fish, that was me. Not all I seemed. Well, perhaps I was more than before with adding a stone and a half to my weight. That was different.

Even Martin had moved on with his new lady friend, leaving me well behind. I left the village, but I came back, and expected… another sigh. I suppose I thought things would be… better somehow. Yet I did tell him I did love him, but couldn't marry him; he'd make me unhappy. I wasn't exactly jumping for joy though.

"Penny for 'em?" Penny asked me. We were minding the kids on the school yard after lunch.

"Uhm, nothing really."

She winked at me. "Whatever you say. How's livin' down at the pub?"

"Fine," I lied. Living there was awkward, and noisy, and not cheap. I changed my mind and told the truth. "No, it's not; not at all."

"Ah. I wish I could help, I do. But with Audrey comin' back from Uni and with Charlie on leave from the Marines." Penny had got married at a young age so her children were grown up.

"I'll manage." A kickball flew too close, so I grabbed it. "This lot though," I muttered. "Have a care! Mrs. Cairns and I are standing right here. Are we invisible?"

The ball players laughed. At least they could hear us if not act like we were around.

Penny laughed. "Wait until you got one of your own." She grinned. "Outside to care for."

The sandwich I ate gave me heartburn, my haemerroids were sore again, and my feet felt fat, along with the rest of me. "Can't come along soon enough."

"How long then?"

I tossed the ball back to the players. "Be careful, right?"

"Yes Miss Glasson! Sorry!" Timmy Anders answered.

Penny prodded again, "Louisa how long is it?"

"About eleven weeks. I hate counting weeks though. We spend our life thinking in different units. Years, months, and weeks." I looked down at my belly which felt bigger today than yesterday, or the day before. Looked bigger as well. Damn. "Be glad when it's over."

"Bein' preggers? Oh my dear, it never stops bein' a mum. You wait until she's up all the night cryin'! You'll wish then she was back inside!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "That's not what I meant."

She patted my arm. "I know." She looked at the gate at the street. "There he is."

"Who?" I glanced up and there stood Martin, holding his medical case, but when he saw me looking his way, his head whipped around and he nearly ran off.

"Back ta surgery, quick as a bunny, that one." Penny took my elbow. "You two…"

"It's fine." I squeezed my eyes tightly then blinked rapidly. Just keep telling yourself that Louisa; keep trying to move on. What did you tell martin? 'It's fine Martin. Not your problem?'

She shook her head. "No, luv, it's not, so don't you go playin' that game. Not with yourself specially."

I'd only known Penny since last a year, for I'd hired her a term and half back, but she was solid. Older, married, three kids, and a good teacher. Not quite a friend, but, yes I was willing to listen to her.

"So you say I'm playing a head game?"

She nodded and then whispered. "That look – you – him. There's sumthin' in there gal. Still."

Right then the sumthin' kicked me hard. "Right," I answered. I checked my watch. "Play time is done. Come on, now! Back inside."

A chorus of groans came from the kids, for who could blame them? Why would anyone want to go inside on such a glorious day as today? They sky was blue, the weather fare and warm. But the students trooped inside as I checked the grounds for wayward jumpers, shoes (you never knew), or left behind play things. As I walked along the wall, I look across the harbor and saw Martin reach his surgery, stop at the door, turn and stare right at the school. His face was far too small to tell what expression was on it, but it likely matched mine. Sad, must be.

Mr. Strain sneered as we went inside. "Miss Glasson?"

"Yes, Mr. Strain?"

He sternly watched as the kids trooped past. "I hear you will be away this afternoon."

"Yes, best I could do on short notice. I have to go into Truro for a checkup. Sorry. I did put a note in your box yesterday."

He blew air out of his nose and waved a finger. "Really? Today?"

"Yes, sorry."

He shook his head, began to say something, and then smiled. "Right, well, best of luck. Have a good report."

The way his manner switched from one extreme to the other tired me out. I watched as he scurried down the hall, looking high and low. Not your lookout Louisa, but he is strange.

I got the kids settled with the temp teacher, then took my hand bag and cardy, and leaving school went down the hill.

I'd mentioned to Joan Norton I had an appointment and she volunteered to be my driver. I protested but it saved long bus rides or an expensive taxi. I was standing on the Platt waiting for Joan when I heard Martin's voice.

"Hullo."

"Oh, hello, Martin."

"What's that you are eating?"

I had bought a bag of sweets. "Jelly Babies. I fancied one."

Martin wrinkled his hose. "Useless calories and at your age it will be very hard to shift excess weight after the baby is born."

I stopped eating the one in my hand, guiltily swallowed what was in my mouth and dropped the rest back in the sack. "Oh. Thanks for that."

"How are you? The job? Everything… uhm, fine?"

"I'm fine, but not Mister Creepy. He's odd."

"Mr. Strain?"

"Yes, skulking about, and always eaves dropping."

"Has he done anything to you?"

"No. No. Why? Have you seen him as a patient?"

Martin snapped his lips together. "I can't discuss it. Has he done anything… threatening to you… around you?"

I shook my head. "No, but he is odd. He was talking to me and then his arm went up," I demonstrated, "and then he reached up with his other hand and pulled it down."

Martin looked pained. "Louisa, if… he, uhm… does… anything…"

Joan's old truck clattered to a stop behind Martin and he turned. "Be with you in a minute, Aunt Joan."

She shook her head. "No Martin, I don't need you. I've come for Louisa. Hello Louisa."

"Hi, Joan!" I told her happily then walked up to her truck. I told him, "Joan is taking me to my doctor's appointment in Truro."

"Shouldn't I… take you?" He nearly whispered.

"No, no, it's fine, Martin. But thanks." I got into the truck and belted the harness around my rotundity. Buddy, Joan's dog, nuzzled my hand as I did so.

Joan smiled at me. "You are radiant."

"Don't feel very radiant, just fat."

Joan put the truck into gear. "Bye Marty," she said to her nephew out her open window then started to drive. "He actually offered to drive you?"

I smiled at Martin where he stood looking a bit forlorn. "He did, yes."

"Wonders will never cease," she muttered. "Do you want him to?"

I gave him a little wave and he barely nodded in reply.

Blue fish goes upstream,

She's not all she seems! the kid's song ended.

Like the she fish, neither was I; not all I seemed to be.

Did I want Martin to be involved? I told him not. Not his problem – exact words.

I glanced back over my shoulder and for as large a man as Martin was, he looked very small right then, shrunken somehow. The baby kicked me just then, reminding me it was getting bigger and bigger.