Thank you everyone for reading Settling In on the new series Unfolding Scars! So far this series has 3 followers, and hopefully we will get more! This chapter has to do with Peeta, so it will be Peeta's POV.


PEETA'S POV


Getting Better

Coming out from morphling is always different every time I wake up. Today I wake up with blurry eyes, and the feeling that I have chains on my arms and legs. I am almost right, I have straps that hold me down to the hospital bed, not chains. After blinking a couple of times, I remember where I am. I am still in the hospital getting better from the war and tracker jacker venom flashbacks. Delly and I prefer my flashbacks as episodes because it's like a episode of the Hunger Games. I haven't had as many episodes as often but I can't keep my hopes up because the same thing happened a month ago then I all the sudden had a relapse. The relapse was worse than my last one two weeks before when I almost tried to kill Delly. I woke up out of morphling one day and she looked like Katniss to me in my delirious eyes and I tried to kill her. My best friend. My sister really. I tried to kill her. And yet she still comes to check on me all the time, just like that episode never happened.

I try to get out of the straps until I realize that there are three doctors watching me, writing down everything that I am doing. They probably think that I am having a episode, and by how I was using my teeth to try to get out of the straps, I would think I was having a episode, too. But I wasn't. I slowly sit up as much as I can with the straps on, blowing my sweaty curls out of my eyes. My hair is longer than I would prefer, but know one trusts me near scissors yet, not even I trust myself near scissors yet.

I look at the men in the room I am forced to live in, and they look back at me, clearly waiting for a episode. But I don't feel an episode coming on. I actually feel normal...well as normal as a insane person in a hospital can get, really. And for a strange reason...I miss her. I miss the girl I have been trying to practically murder whenever I have a episode. I miss the girl that showed me what love is, and now I want her with me.

As casually as I can I speak to the people watching me, "Can I speak with Delly, please?" They look at each other for a moment, then come over to me and take off the straps. I flex my sore bones and stand up. The doctors stay in the room, while I walk out of it. Thankfully, I remember where Delly's room is. When I walk down the halls, people stare at me, so I wave at them and say a quick hello.

When I get to Delly's room she is not in there but I know where she will be. I walk down the hall to the doors that bring me to the South side garden. The South side garden is my favorite out of all four gardens because this one it is full of colors and different smells. The rest of the gardens only have one smell and certain colors.

When I get into the garden Delly is sitting on a stone bench, looking at a yellow ladybug walking on her left palm. I walk into the garden and Delly still does not notice me. I cough, awkwardly standing in front of the rose bushes. Delly jumps a little, then looks at me, surprised. I watch the ladybug on her palm fly away then I look at Delly.

"Wow," she says, "No doctors, guards, anything?"

"None" I breath. I just realized that, too. Everywhere I go, I always have a doctor or a guard following me, to take me out of a room before I have a episode and try to hurt people.

"Maybe I really am getting better," I force a fake laugh, though Delly knows that I'm serious.

Walking over to her, I sit beside her on the bench, close enough that our shoulders are just brushing against each other. She looks at me for a second, trying to figure out something I assume, but then she shakes her head as if she is trying to forget what she is thinking. To cover it up she quickly comments, "You are, step by step, you are. You're making human contact, and you're not even flinching at our shoulders touching." She points to our shoulders, laughing when I reluctantly put our shoulders closer to see if it bothers me, which it doesn't.

"I guess you're right," I say with a smirk.

After a moment, Delly's face grows serious, "So, what are we going to do when your well enough to get out of this place? We could...stay here in District 13 and live in a house, we could go District 9 so you could grow your own grain and bake," then she sarcastically adds, "or we could even go to the Capital and watch the citizens run amuck."

"Aah, as tempting as that sounds, I think I'm okay right here for now."

We sit in silence for a while. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable silence, one where the sounds around you can keep your mind occupied. Right now, the sounds of fountains, birds, the wind, and bees are floating in and out of my ears. It comforting actually. There hasn't been many moments like this in the past few years, with all that's been going on in Panem. This is one of the actual few moments that I can let my mind be at rest and not need to worry about a thing in the world. But sadly, there is something I need to worry about, Katniss. Everything I can remember of her and I quickly start running through my mind. At first, it's all the good and real memories, but a few fake memories squeeze its way through.

Suddenly, all the memories flowing in at once start to overwhelm me. My hands reach for the bottom of the bench and I latch onto it, squeezing to the point that my knuckles turn white. I put my head down and furrow my face together, trying to make the memories go away. I didn't see Delly move, but now she is at my legs, each hand on my shoulders, "I'm going to go get a doctor okay?"

"No," I say through gritted teeth, my voice trembling, "I want...to do this...by...myself." I am having trouble speaking without yelling.

I hear Delly tap her foot, as if she is trying to see if she should do this by myself or not, "Fine, but I'm going to stay right here with you."

Rapidly, I shake my head, "No-no!" I slowly lift my eyes enough to look Delly straight in the eyes, "Please...leave."

She looks at me one more time then gets up to her feet, slips through the door, and when it closes, she stands there and watches me.I'm used to the audience I sometimes get when I start to go into an episode, some people watching just to see for their entertainment, or the few that help me get through it.

I put my head down to my knees, trying my best to curl up while still sitting and gripping onto the chair, but my body doesn't work with my mind anymore and it whips my head backwards, arching my back up. My breath comes in rapid paces, almost like hyperventilating. It uses every bit of energy for me to even straighten my body. My hands suddenly grab my face at each side and squeeze, as if trying to push all of the bad memories out. My fingers latch onto the ends of my hair and pull, it hurts, but it lets me get my frustration out. With all of energy I have left in me, I force myself to lower my breaths to slow paces. It hurts my throat, but it is the only way to start calming down.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not...real," I murmur to myself over and over. My mind flashes back to all of the times of Katniss and I; her saving my life in the cave, us sleeping next to each other on the train, on the roof, kissing on the beach of the Quarter Quell...it all comes back to me.

I slowly start to gain control of my body again and the fake memories leave my mind. I turn my head to the door where Delly left from and there she, , the three doctors from my room, and a guard stand, mouths hanging open with what looks like awe. Then it hits me that this was the first time I got through an episode by myself, with no one with me to help, no one by my side the whole time. I got through it myself and went through the steps myself.

Delly, Dr. Aurelius , the three doctors, and the guard step inside the garden and slowly walk towards me.

Dr. Aurelius is the first to speak, "Peeta, that was magnificent. You got through it by yourself. Tell me, how did you do it?"

At that, the three doctors lift their clipboards and pencils, ready to write what I am about to say, "Um," I start, not sure of where to begin, "I-I tried to control my breathing...and I told myself that none if it is real, and I imaged all the real things that Katniss and I did. It was hard but...it worked."

I can feel the ends of my lips curl up into a small smile. Delly and Dr. Aurelius are still looking at me in awe, while the three doctors are rapidly trying to write down everything I said. Dr. Aurelius nods at the guard and he walks out of the room then proceeds down the hallway.

Delly comes over to me and sits by my side, putting her hand on my knee for comfort, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Delly," I say with a smile.

Dr. Aurelius clears his throat, "Peeta do you mind if I borrow you for a bit? Run through everything that happened once more?"

"Sure," I nod, standing to my feet, "Whatever you need to go through."

Dr. Aurelius and I start to walk out of the garden until turns around and says, "Thank you Delly."

I don't really know what that was for, but Delly smiles and nods, making sure she doesn't make eye contact with me.

Dr. Aurelius and I walk through the halls, saying a quick hello when we pass anyone, and walk into the Separate Room. The Separate Room is just another word for a therapist room. Whenever I have an episode, always takes me to this room to talk. Whenever I come in here, the room always has a different therapeutic smell, lavender, flowers, all different kinds. There is a lounge chair in the middle of the room, with a leather chair next to it.

Dr. Aurelius motions me towards the lounge chair, while he walks over to the leather chair. Once I am in the lounge chair, I wait until Dr. Aurelius is ready to speak to me. He reaches over to the small round table next to the leather chair, picks a clipboard and pencil, and starts to jot things down. At first, I think that he might have forgotten my presence, but shortly after, he lifts his head and looks at me, "Okay," he starts off, "Why don't you tell me how you felt when the episode started coming on?"

"Well, Delly and I were in the garden, as you could see, and it was quiet, peaceful even. We just sat there and listened to the noises around us, and I let my mind drift off and relax. I was thinking how it could be a good idea to stay here just a bit longer because right now I have no worries for anything around Panem, but then I realized I did." My voice starts to become more sorrow, "I realized that deep down, Katniss is a priority to me, and I need to protect her...and then I started thinking about all the real moments between us, but...then fake moments started to seep through, and I started urging towards them. Then I just felt...uncontrollable."

Dr. Aurelius writes down everything I say down onto the clipboard, nodding at my words. After he writes all of it down, he again looks at me, "Did you feel as if you were going to endanger anyone?"

"No," I spit out too quickly, "I mean, at first I didn't really know, so I told Delly to leave. I didn't feel as if I was going to hurt her, but then again I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself if I ended up trying and I was too far gone."

"Yes, yes, Delly told me this. She came to get me; she said that it was important. At first I thought it was important because you were close to endanger yourself or someone around you, but to be told, it was important because you were getting through it on your own. Delly tried to tell me before that we should leave you by yourself during an episode, she says that you are capable of trying yourself. At first, from the data I have been collecting, I thought we would have to wait a couple more weeks to even attempt something so drastic, but clearly I have been proven wrong." He smirks a little at his last sentence.

I allow myself to laugh a little, "You weren't the only one that was surprised. To tell you the truth, I didn't even think I could do this on my own."

"Peeta, you need to have a little more faith in yourself, you are truly getting better. If we didn't trust you, do you think you would be walking around today with no doctors or guards at your side?"

That is something new to me. I didn't think about any of that, I just took it as everyone just giving me some slack and letting me do something enjoyable for just a little bit, "No, I guess I never really thought about that."

X X X

After and I go through what I felt, his questions, and some relaxing methods, I head back to my room. Although I had a episode today, it was truly not a bad one. I have had ones where I would hurt someone or flip a table or even harm myself. This, this little episode was nothing. Soon enough, I will maybe be able to leave this place and go to a home or a different District. To my District. Because believe it or not, I am really getting better.


So there you go, chapter two! I am already working on chapter three, it is going to be fairly short, only because I already have something in mind for chapter four. Please tell me what you thought of chapter two and follow Unfolding Scars =)