Disclaimer: Spirited Away and its characters belong to Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miazaki.
Chapter 2: A Change of Plans
Chihiro and Haku stood on the bridge outside of the bathhouse. Chihiro stood leaning on the railing, holding Bou's hand. When he had watched Chihiro and Kohaku aging together, Bou followed suit. It was more for Chihiro though, he had developed something of a boy-crush on her.
She looked at the other spirit. Bou -- his actual name was Takahiro, but like Haku and Sen, names tend to stick -- had lost all of his baby fat. He had a lanky frame, but he still came nowhere near Chihiro or Haku when height was considered. Zeniba often joked that he was still "pre-pubescent." Chihiro smiled. The first time she had heard that joke, she had not learned anything about humans.
Zeniba pinched Bou's ribcage as she rounded the table, holding a cake that seemed to ooze chocolate. "I think that this one is vanishing all his fat. He's skin all bones but hasn't grown any taller!" She smiled at his scowl of embarrassment. "Oh, don't worry sweetie. It's not your fault you haven't hit puberty." Takahiro's head shot up to stare, dumbfounded, at his aunt.
Rin's mouth opened in a little "o" of surprise, but she could not hide her giggle at the expense of the younger spirit. Haku looked at his plate, but Chihiro, having the advantage of a view of his profile, could see the small grin on his face. Kamaji's beard twitched slightly and the wrinkles on his face intensified.
Chihiro blinked silently as everyone, even No-Face, had their quiet laugh. She pouted at the blatant exclusion. Zeniba, after sitting down, unintentionally saw the confusion and anger that was painted ill-fittingly on Chihiro's face. She nudged Haku who, following her gaze, blushed at his brash treatment of his partner.
"Ano, it's a human thing, Chihiro."
"Oh," Chihiro said, feeling stupid. Of course it wasn't their intention to disorient her. They simply forgot that she hadn't learned about the human world yet.
"Sen," the spider said, extending an arm over to the door where his satchel lay, "take this book. It'll give you at least a small amount of information. Sort of a preparation course."
Chihiro smiled happily. It wasn't a full-course meal, but it would hold her over until she could get something better.
Chihiro sighed. I still haven't learned much. Nobody will let me know anything, apart from Kamaji's book, which wasn't helpful. It had held some information on the anatomy of humans, but there were no images to help her understand completely. In her head, they were blobs that slightly resembled spirits and smelled like decomposing fish.
"Sen," came Bou's voice, breaking her away from her thoughts. "I think we're leaving now." Chihiro blinked, realizing that she had been staring at him. She smiled and ruffled his black hair lightly. His brown eyes squinted as he gave her a small grimace of discomfort, but he smiled nevertheless.
Chihiro pushed herself off of the railing, Bou following her. She stood in the middle of the bridge, looking back at the bathhouse, where Haku and Kamaji were talking solemnly. Chihiro watched as Kamaji made a witty comment at which Haku threw his head back and laughed aloud. Chihiro smiled. She hadn't seen Haku laugh much lately. The King had been getting on his back about the threatening letters from Yubaba. Chihiro wasn't sure what Haku was supposed to do about it, but he was pressured all the same.
Haku watched Chihiro out of the corner of his eye as he talked to Kamaji. She was worrying him. The block in her mind was, by design, going to begin to deteriorate on its own eventually, but, no matter how he tried to convince himself otherwise, he could not see how its removal would do her any good. Rin's opinion on the matter only further persuaded him. She was smart, that much was true, but in Haku's eyes, she was reckless when she concerned herself with the people she loved.
Haku looked at Chihiro as she said goodbye to a few of her yuna friends.
"It's coming, you know," came the rough sounds of Kamaji's vocal chords.
Haku turned to the other spirit. He had been pestered by a less than sober Rin the night before, if Kamaji was trying to jump on the bandwagon, heads would roll.
The spider spirit continued, "You cannot stop natural processes, just as the humans could not stop the flow of your river. They merely made it take a detour, just as you are doing to her."
"You can hardly compare me to the blundering skylarking of humans, Kamaji."
The other chuckled. "Perhaps, but you cannot deny the fact that you are doing something very similar."
Kohaku raised his eyebrows. "Protecting her is the same as blocking a river to build an apartment building?"
Kamaji paused, considering. "Well, when you put it in such harsh terms, no. But the premise is the same. You want something, the humans wanted something, and you both tried to disrupt nature to fill the void of that lust."
The younger rolled his eyes. So this is how it's going to be? "Humans dam water sources to stop people from dying. Why can't you compare me to that?"
"But in the case of the Nile -- that poor tortured man -- they then have to pay the price of using more irrigation and fertilizer to use the land for farm. There is much about the natural order of life that you should learn more about, Haku."
"Tell that to all of the other spirits," Haku snapped.
Kamaji looked away from the fuming dragon to take in the sight of Chihiro, who was now being chased by Takahiro in circles around the middle of the bridge. He turned back to Haku. "It is beside the point what I compare your actions to. The point is that if you do not stop meddling with Fate's" -- Kamaji made a holy gesture at Fate's name -- "grand scheme, Chihiro will die."
Haku felt his heart freeze. He looked at the ground, afraid to see the anger in the other spirit's eyes.
"Surely you don't expect to get off easily for changing the course of another spirit's life?" the spider continued, "If she can't remember, she will not be able to function normally in society, a society based and run by self sufficiency. The King would never assign a spirit who does not remember her first life. She would be left with the same repeating days for the rest of her life. She could kill herself from the mental strain of keeping the block at bay or simply from the meaninglessness that she would come to recognize and resent. Even if that does not happen, her mind would know that there was a misbalance in her body and try to correct it. It would induce its own sickness in an attempt to rid itself of the error."
Haku raised his head to look at the older spirit, a glare set into the marble complexion of his face. "And what if the opposite should occur?" he hissed defiantly. "If we were to pull her too early from her mind's rehabilitation, she would end up just like Kuchi•: a body without a mind, an empty shell."
"She's already begun to show the signs of a finished separation," Kamaji replied easily, gesturing offhandedly to the girl in question, making his hand flop around in the manner of a dead fish. "Do not expect her to remain in ignorance for long."
The river spirit snorted in annoyance. "Until I see the signs, I will act accordingly."
Kamaji nearly tutted at the dragon for his inflexibility. "Really, Haku. Why can you not let nature take its course?"
"She's not ready yet; it's too soon." the river spirit huffed with indignation, seeing no other defense. "And besides, she still does not know how to survive in a world without the bathhouse."
"That is because she is not yet able to understand," the older spirit said measuredly, an attempt to hide the impatience that filled him. He exhaled, willing his anger out of him. He stared at the woman in question for a moment, before a thought struck, a plan that could turn the tables completely. "Let her live here for a while."
Haku stared incredulously. "How would that help me?"
"If you let her stay here for more than just two days" -- Haku winced at that, realizing that his method of protecting the block had not been discrete -- "she could remember something."
Haku opened his mouth to point out a flaw when Kamaji cut in again. "Don't worry, she will have us to take care of her if you are not around."
Green eyes in a long, slender face gazed at Chihiro as the mind behind them deliberated. Haku could only think of one more reason to keep Chihiro from the bathhouse, but it was selfish. Then there was the fact that he was afraid to voice it for fear that the spider would laugh in his face.
Kamaji's gaze softened. "You have spent the last forty years by her side constantly. Letting her stay here for two weeks will not kill you."
Haku's face became more pained. "It hasn't been nonstop; don't exaggerate. I just reunited with her last night after three weeks and a day. The King did not lie when he said that this was a strong bond to unite. The love doubled; the happiness doubled; the pain with separation doubled as well."
The spider gave Haku a sympathetic glance, but refused to be swayed from his decision. "It's healthy for you. What if the worst should happen and one of you dies? If the survivor wants to continue to live, it is in your best interest to start with distance." He smiled behind his mustache. "Besides, how do you think we feel when you hog her like that?"
Haku allowed himself a small, sardonic laugh. "You drive a hard bargain, Kamaji. Fine, but only two weeks, and you should expect me to be there every few days."
"I would expect nothing less," beamed Kamaji. He turned again towards the pair in the center of the bridge, still continuing their antics. "Chihiro!"
Chihiro turned. Kamaji was waving one of his eight limbs at her. She glanced at Bou. "Looks like something's changed." She led Bou over to the older spirits, holding her questions back.
"How would you feel about staying at the bathhouse during the next few weeks? I'm sure Rin misses the time you two used to spend together."
Chihiro laughed, disregarding the uneasy feeling that rose in her stomach. "That's true! I only got to see her for a moment last night. And before that I hadn't seen her for two months." She sent a mock glare to Haku, who seemed to be settling a bit of inner turmoil -- by looking at the ground and refusing to speak. She turned back to Kamaji, smiling. "He really is too selfish."
Kamaji's mood lightened. "So you will stay?"
Her gut flipped again. It was suspicious. Usually, Haku told her to stay in their house near Tokyo while he worked at the bathhouse. Why, all of a sudden, was such an invitation extended. She felt her eyes flick to glance in the direction of the barn. Perhaps it was Fate allowing her to sate her curiosity. She called herself back to reality and looked at Bou. "Why not?"
Bou's face fell. "But, Sen. I have to stay at Aunt Zeniba's because of my work." When Bou was old enough, he was given a job supervising at a factory.
Haku remembered when Chihiro was given her temporary job. Every spirit got one until their memory block removed itself. When a person died, they would become solidified by the King. At the same time or a small while after that, they were given a job to ease them into the world before they could become a full fledged spirit. A born spirit like Bou, because they are already solidified, waits about fifteen years until they are given a job. Most spirits weren't given actual jobs until they were fully matured, around thirty. This was to insure not only that they do not suffer from split world syndrome, in the case of a previously dead soul, but also to allow time for their powers to manifest. Born spirits are likely to have the same abilities as their parents, and therefore take less time before being assigned. They also, Haku realized, did not need memory blocks because they had never been humans.
As far as the temporary jobs, the souls of the dead were assigned to places that would allow for the easiest merge between worlds. For example, a human dies in London, but lived in Paris for most of their life. The spirit once solidified to the spirit world would not be assigned to a job in the spirit's equivalent of London, where the spirit died, but rather in the equivalent of Paris, where the better memories were located. The spirit world was geographically identical to the human world, with the exception of the gates.
Chihiro was a highly rare occurrence. Because she came through a gate between the worlds, she spent time in the spirit world before becoming solidified. This gave her the choice to either return to the human world or "die" and become a spirit. Of course, she wasn't given this choice on her first trip, but when she returned by accident at the end of her high school career, she chose to stay.
Haku nearly cursed at the thought. She could have had a normal life, but instead she was left at the mercy of her own mind.
Chihiro's voice brought him out of his musing. "Don't worry, you'll be able to visit every few days." She turned to her dragon. "So how long are we staying?"
The spider nearly hit himself. Of course, Haku might -- however grudgingly -- agree to leaving his counterpart for a small while, but Chihiro would throw a fit before even considering it. Kamaji pulled a composing breath. "Haku has a small amount of business. He can visit, just like Bou, but I'm afraid that he will be occupied in Tokyo for the most part."
There was a saturated moment of silence as Chihiro's brain registered the words, put the moment in a small memory slot, and sent nerve impulses down her spinal chord. Then the air shattered as she whispered hoarsely, "Excuse me?"
Haku's hands clenched before Kamaji spoke. "Please, Sen. Do not act like a spoiled child; it is only two weeks. When will you learn to become independent?"
Chihiro felt the oxygen leaving the air as she took short, restricted breaths. She knew that she was overreacting. She knew that, but it was too much to take in. She was only allowed him for a one day grace period in the middle of a five week separation? Three weeks was bad enough, but when it started to exceed a month, she felt like somebody was grinding a knife into her spine. Fighting for reason, she forced herself to draw in as much as the unforgiving air as she dared before shoving out a reply of, "Of course. It's" -- she drew breath again -- "no problem."
The eldest spirit smiled, despite the note he made in the back of his mind regarding Chihiro's synthetic calm. "Well then, it's settled." He turned to Takahiro. "Your Aunt told me that you should be able to visit within the next four days." There was silence, and he sighed, giving up his attempt to lighten the mood. "I'll wait for you inside, Chihiro."
Haku stooped slightly to put a soft kiss on her forehead, as Chihiro stood stock-still, in the remains of her shock. Bou wrapped his arms around her. She remembered herself and gave him a swift squeeze, saying "I'll see you in four days, ne?" He nodded and pulled away.
The two spirits walked away to where Chihiro and Takahiro had been standing just a few minutes before, when her world had seemed fixed again after three difficult weeks. Haku turned back and waved solemnly, face devoid of any feeling.
She couldn't help it; she rushed in for one last hug. She squeezed until she was sure that she must be causing paralysis to his legs and let the thunder of his heartbeat flow through her body, already synchronized to it. He framed her face gently with his hands, pulling her in for a kiss. It was chaste, much more so than the ones she was used to, but the feeling was still behind it and she felt her heart nearly break for it.
Chihiro watched the pair fly away, her heart clenching. Haku twisted so that, like a ribbon, the small loop shifted all the way down his body before disappearing into the sky. Although he was a good distance away then, she could have sworn she saw him look back to her sadly.
She brushed the tears away angrily. She hated her foolish schoolgirl heartache. Torment from the bond was difficult enough to work around, but the fact that she could not stomach her pain and be brave sickened her. And her complaints about it made it even worse.
She huffed and turned away from the now empty sky, annoying herself with her whining. She was walking through the entrance when something caught in the corner of her eye. She turned. It was to be expected that she wouldn't know her way around the outside of the building; when she traveled, she flew. Chihiro smiled to herself, she was getting rather good at it; she didn't even need Haku's help anymore. She shook her head, refocusing on the door in front of her.
The deep indigo walls had latticed wood tacked on top, so the planks of the waist-high door stood out slightly, but not glaringly, from it. Well, now that I'm here, I might as well explore before I go back to my room. She pushed the door open. She crawled through and stood back up. A courtyard lined with flower bushes greeted her. She disregarded the shoji screen and followed a stone path to a second door on the other side of the enclosed garden.
She went through the second door. She knelt on a small platform. It didn't reach the edge of the building, but when she looked past the corner, she could see the far end of the bridge that hung over the railway. She shuffled forward on her knees to peer over the edge of the platform. She saw the grassy ground that met awkwardly with the sheer concrete of the bathhouse's foundation and the turnout where the country-side railway and the rail to Tokyo came together•. She stood up and turned around.
She briefly observe the lattice's continuation when she saw something more intriguing. A wooden staircase jutted gawkily from the platform and didn't attach to the concrete wall. Chihiro saw a missing step towards the top. She testing the first and, deducing that it was safe, continued down. She extended her hand to lean on the concrete wall when she jumped over the fallen step, but halfway through the first flight, another broke and she had no choice but to fly down the stairs.
A concrete landing came up, and Chihiro was horrified to see a wall accompanying it. She couldn't stop herself and slammed like a board into it. She stood silently for a second as something flooded through her. That broken board, she was the one who broke it. And she remembered hitting this wall the same way. Hair flying, dirt on a green shirt, yellow shoes kicking up dust.
Hugging the wall like a lover, she stood immobile. What -- no, when was that? I've never been down these steps before.
"Sen?"
She look up to see a frog sticking his head out of a window a story above the landing. The aroma and steam pouring forth from the opening suggested that he was in the kitchens. Which makes sense, I guess. The kitchens are in the basement like Kamaji's boiler room. She pasted a smile on her face and waved her hand once to each side. "I'm just exploring; don't worry about me. Are you already starting the food?"
"Yeah," came the gruff reply as the frog lit his cigarette.
"I'll just let you get to that." Chihiro continued down the steps, which were now concrete and -- thankfully -- attached to the wall.
She let her hand rest on the railing for the last few slivers that excused themselves as steps. There were more steps that curved in the opposite direction to go to the ground, but Chihiro's attention was immediately caught by a green door next to several steaming pipes and lit by a flickering, yellow bulb. She walked up to the door, which had paint chipping off of the edges and around the square window.
The door swung open and she gasped openly.
"Kamaji's boiler room!" She could remember going through this way before, back when the drawers lining the walls were not whitewash. Her brow furrowed. Kamaji always complained about the white, but she hadn't seen why until now. It looked unnatural. They used to be natural brown, and the white was to cover something. But what?
She leaned against Kamaji's pedestal, slid to the ground, and put her head between her hands. It didn't make sense. When she was solidified, she was born. Why, then, was she suddenly remembering things that didn't happen?
She suddenly felt exhausted. I'll handle it tomorrow, or the next day. I could could probably sleep for weeks at this point. It must have been the sake, she decided. It would all go away. She was having a terrible dream that spun her world with alcohol and the beginning of hangover.
Comfortable with that image, she crawled over to Kamaji's pink futon and unrolled it. She would tell Rin and Haku that story in the morning and they would all laugh. She would fly with Bou and Haku, leaving Bou at Zeniba's house, waving for a second. Then she would go home and--
Kamaji's door slammed open and Rin stormed through. Chihiro sat up swiftly, not enjoying the anger that seemed to pour from the other woman.
"What were you thinking? No, don't answer that; I don't want to know." Rin allowed herself a cleansing breath. "You could have at least told us you were going to endanger your life, rather than letting us stand around like idiots until a frog -- for Kings' sake, a frog? Until a frog came up from the kitchens to tell us that you were going down the back steps." Rin rolled her eyes. "You have no concept of self-preservation. Honestly, Sen, what will we do with you?"
"I guess you'll just have to tether me to yourselves."
Rin stopped, unsure how she should reply to such a bizarre statement. So, she laughed.
"Well it would work," Chihiro said, affronted. She watched agitatedly as her friend let out wave after wave of deranged giggles. As she did, she felt the corners of her scowling mouth tug until she, too, was cackling at the ridiculous image of a giant tether chain throughout the bathhouse.
Rin composed herself first, playfully punching Chihiro's shoulder as she straightened and let the last of the laughs die off. "Well I could never stay mad at you anyway. But really, what made you want to explore so suddenly?"
Chihiro gasped, drawing her hand up into the cliched image of astonishment. "Oh, Rin! I nearly forgot!" She jumped up and grasped on to the other spirit's arm. "When I ran into a wall, I remembered going down those steps before. And again, when I came through the door, I remember going through it, but when the cabinets weren't white -- they do look rather ugly in white, don't they?"
For a split second, Chihiro saw a look of joy spread over Rin's face, but when she blinked, it had gone again. She felt stifled suddenly, and the moment from the night before came to mind. RIn had initially seemed . . . Well, something had been there, only Rin pretended there wasn't.
Rin shook her head. "You might have hit you head too hard on that wall. We should really get you upstairs."
"But Rin, I wasn't hallucinating!" the brunette shrieked, yanking herself away. "I felt like I had uncovered part of myself that I didn't even know existed. It was like a previous life."
Rin sighed. You really have no idea. She looked at Chihiro for a minute, seeing the desperation in her eyes. She needed a way to give in without breaking the rules. Then something clicked and she spoke. "We can talk it over with Kamaji later; he's older than most spirits. But right now, you are just too tired, so come on." She dragged Chihiro to the sliding door and crawled through. "If you want to come, you can. If you stay, I'm not feeding you."
"Rin!" Chihiro called before she could crouch to go through the door. "I need you to tell me the truth. What do you know about me?"
Rin's head reappeared, a sad smile on its surface. "Assuming that I knew, I couldn't tell you." She saw Chihiro's face fall and quickly recovered. "But what I can do is help you. And so can Kamaji." She extended her hand. "We will fix this, Sen."
Chihiro stared for a few seconds, deliberating the sincerity behind her friend's words. Slowly -- uncertainly -- she nodded and took her friend's hand.
{{A/N: So, second chapter! Sorry that it took so long, for those of you who were waiting for me to update. I did attempt to make it as long as I was expecting of myself. I do apologize, however, for the extensive explanation of various things, but it was necessary for the story to function and, well, I don't want to stretch explanations along twenty chapters. Anyway, I won't bore you with my petty worries; if you have any thoughts, communicating them is encouraged. Bottling up emotions can and does lead to serious side effects.
Extra notes from myself are indicated by •s. If you see them, don't worry; I explain things that need explaining in the story. Wait until the end to look.
Thank you for reading!
1• Kuchi is a character from the movie. If you watch Chihiro's first actual day at work, about halfway through the movie, before she let's No-Face in, a yuna tells Chihiro to get out of her way. The name is on the yuna's tag, though I might have read the character wrong.
2• One track goes through the bathhouse and the small town (I have dubbed this as the Tokyo railway). The other goes across the ocean/grassland. This can be seen when Chihiro is about to test the stairs.}}
