Sorting Things Out
"Right." He sighed and grappled with his courage, "And last year, before your divorce when I thought you were going to leave, I realized I couldn't bear to lose you. I couldn't stand the thought," He looked at her and leaned in slightly to emphasize his next words, "I don't think I would survive losing you. I need you Vic." He saw her eyes shift expression slightly as though that statement brought a realization to her. Walt tilted his forehead, gently leaning it against hers, "Can you handle my needing you?"
She nodded her head against his, "Uh huh, I feel the same way. Kinda scares me how much I need you."
"But that's not enough, Vic." When she leaned back and looked at him slightly confused he clarified, "Us not wanting to lose each other; needing each other. It's not enough. If we start something, I mean we've started something, but if we take this any further… We live in a small town and there will be consequences; repercussions we both need to be aware of and be ready to face."
"I understand Walt. But I really think there will be more fallout for you than for me."
"There's going to be fallout for both of us. The question is can we handle it?"
"The way I see it, if we're with each other, then yeah, we can handle it."
"We have to be realistic here we can't go into this in any kind of a romantic daze or with our heads in the clouds."
"No, I get it. Really, I do."
"Well that's the part we need to discuss." he gave her a shrug and a kind of half grin as a blush crept up his cheeks again, "Because if a little while ago is any indication, I think we're on the same page otherwise."
"Oh yeah I think that's a pretty accurate assessment." She slid her hands from the top of his, rose up slightly and slipped both of her hands underneath her thighs and sat back down.
He looked at her with amusement dancing in his eyes, "What are you doing?"
She very somberly stated, "Keeping my hands to myself, as promised." and then she leaned in toward him.
Walt met her halfway and returned the kiss; each keeping their hands to themselves. The kisses were much more restrained and could actually be classified as kisses whereas what they had experienced earlier was well beyond classification as simply a kiss.
When they broke the kiss Vic asked softly, "What specifically are you concerned with that you want to talk about?"
"I'd like to say I don't want people talking about you but I know full well if we get together there will be talk; about you, about me, about us. It'll happen but what I'm worried about is the possibility of there being unfair judgment cast on you."
"Us Walt or you. Like favoritism on the job; that kind of thing. I have the same types of concerns. We'll come back to that. What else?"
"I wonder if the age difference will become a problem for us. I fear you may grow tired of me or outgrow me and I don't think I could handle that."
Vic took one of his hands in hers, she held it firmly in one of hers and traced the various lines with the index finger of her other hand, "I honestly don't think the age difference between us is all that big a deal. I know others with much greater age gaps and they've been together for years. If something does come of it, we'll deal with it. I can't see anything coming from that that could be all that problematic." She looked up at him and saw the dubious expression in his eyes. "What I'm saying is as you get older, I will too, but the age difference will only get smaller. Make sense?"
Walt nodded, "Yeah. I think so. What about you, what concerns you about us being together?"
"I'm a little worried about what Cady'll think, especially since I'm not that much older than her. What if you don't get reelected, because of me? And I worry that my track record with men might screw us up as a couple."
Walt held her gaze and her hands, "I think Cady already thinks there's something going on. She said the other day she was happy for me, as long as I was happy. If I lose my job because we're together I'd gladly except that if it means I stay with you. Losing you is my greatest fear and maintaining a relationship with you and keeping you with me is my greatest priority."
Vic laced their fingers together with one hand, "I understand and feel exactly the same way. I would work any other job that was out there if it meant we stayed together. I'd wait tables or take a job as a custodian, dog walker, night security guard, or babysitter. I'd even clerk at the Come n Go on the overnight shift."
This last part made Walt laugh out loud and he smiled mischievously at her, "I don't think even I could go that far."
She punched his shoulder lightly, "Your choice cowboy you don't take the job on that overnight shift you might lose me."
Walt wrapped his arms around her and said through his smile, "Sign me up I'll take it!" and then claimed her mouth as he drew his hands along her back; one settling on the upper curve of her rear and the other making its way into her hair; gradually pulling her ponytail loose.
When he released her mouth, she leaned back a little and he settled for burying his face in the hair he had freed.
Vic asked hesitantly, "What about my track record? My relationship history's pretty shitty."
Walt shifted his hold on her, the hand at her waist tighten in a possessive hold. He brought his other hand to her face, to caress her cheek; he stroked her cheekbone tenderly with his thumb. Walt sought her eyes and held her gaze. "I figure our history together trumps that. Seems to me our relationship has been honest from the beginning and has been honed into a very strong bond over the past few years." He brushed his lips to hers, seeking her response to his statement not necessarily through words. The answer was firm and clear, Vic claimed his mouth, her fingers threading into his hair holding his face to hers possessively. She moaned in total pleasure when he responded in kind.
So much for keeping their hands to themselves, Walt thought, as he held Vic close and let his hands roam freely on her body. He let one hand drift to the denim covering her butt, slowly sliding it lower until he was cupping one rounded pocket; drawing her even closer to him. When Vic moaned against his mouth again he had to touch her skin. Carefully tugging at the back of her shirt he managed to untuck the back of her duty shirt and a small amount of her ribbed tank top. Walt gradually worked his fingers through the opening he had made. His hand soon followed his fingers and he gently stroked the warm tender skin his fingers found. Vic shifted her weight, pushing into him slightly with her chest as she arched her side into his callous fingers. Her hands had been doing their own exploring; Vic popped the top few snaps of his shirt open, when she felt him tugging at her shirt. Walt deepened their kiss as his hand skimmed her skin and he felt Vic's fingers press into the hair on his chest. As their kissing escalated Walt's mind began to caution him against the risk of their losing control.
Vic reluctantly pulled her lips from his and pressed them to his chest next to her hand. She pressed a kiss to the hair roughened skin. Walt kept his hand under the hem of her shirt but brought the other up from her jeans. He fanned his fingers into her hair and lifted her face from his chest.
Looking down at her and working on steadying his breathing, he asked, "Should we move this elsewhere or call it a night altogether?"
A fait hint of bashfulness crossed her features as she looked back at him. The blush on her cheeks and the swelling around her lips was almost more than Walt could resist while waiting for her answer.
Vic drew in a steadying breath and said, "I don't mean to answer a question with a question, but …" She trailed off and dropped her gaze from him.
Walt eased his fingers from her hair and tilted her chin up, so their eyes met again, "What Vic? What're ya thinkin'?"
She gave him a tiny smirk, "This make-out session is not something I'm ready to end, but I don't think we're ready to take things much further just yet. I was wondering if maybe we could just spend the night together, uhm, well, I, uh…"
Walt let her off the hook when he noticed the color deepening on her cheeks, "Just sleeping?"
Relief flooded her features and brightened her eyes, "Yeah."
He slipped his hand from under her shirt, placing it on the other side of her head, framing her face, before he leaned in and placed a soft kiss against her swollen lips. His thumbs gently caressed her cheekbones as he lifted his head and said, "Yeah."
Vic graced him with a brilliant smile. With a little twinkle in her eye and chuckle in her voice she asked, "Your place or mine?"
He shrugged.
She watched the expression play across his eyes and said, "Right, your cabin it is."
Walt started to protest, "I didn't…"
Vic brought a finger to his lips and gently stopped his words, "No, you didn't say anything. But your eyes showed you were wondering something and my guess is, 'Do I still have the same bed I shared with Sean'." She dropped her finger and gave him a 'well?' look.
Walt nodded, "Close enough."
She reached out and started snapping shut the snaps she had unsnapped a while before. Holding his gaze as she snapped his shirt by braille, Vic asked, "Are you okay sharing you bed with me?"
"Yep."
"No ghosts?"
"Nope."
"Think you can sleep with someone else in there with you?"
"If it's you."
She smiled at him and stared.
"No more questions?"
Vic giggled at his expectant yet hesitant expression, "Just one?"
He held his features in a neutral expression and asked patiently, "What?"
Vic grinned wolfishly at him, "You want the left or the right side?"
Walt wrapped his arms around her firmly and asked, "How about we both take the middle?"
Vic nodded and turned her face to his and kissed him sweetly, "Let's go home cowboy."
